Njördr and Re-Membering Myself

I asked Njördr for a message; something to help change my perspective on this *thing*.... Soon I will meet a colleague to share our artwork with each other. It was a suggestion on his part to help encourage me as I get back into drawing and painting, and I am grateful for that intention. And yet I keep finding myself anxious or unprepared, worrying that my pieces aren't good enough. It's really annoying, and I don't want to feel this way, but it is nevertheless how I feel.

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot

I don't think I could imagine more appropriate cards for this matter. The Page is my creative self - the one that doesn't judge or compare - only expresses. The 8 of Swords represents my mental cage, my self-imposed limitations. Strength shows me that I am so much bigger than those needling thoughts and fears, tells me to show myself compassion, and embrace the fullness of my own being. I love how the Page and Strength look in at the 8 of Swords, perfectly equal to the task of releasing these blockages.

Mannaz reinforces the fact that this is all tied up in how I see myself, and myself in relation to others - and it's time for a narrative shift.

I spoke to Njördr at the ocean the other day, and asked him to help me remember who I am. I have indeed felt myself re-membering over the past week, calling back parts of myself. This is one of them.

Embracing the Shadow: An Eclipse Reading

This summer has proven to be a whirlwind of activity, movement, joys, and intense challenges. My blog has certainly landed toward the bottom of any priority list I might have had, and even this post has taken a week to finish writing (but I did it!). This grand solar eclipse a week ago was a special moment that has felt so profoundly relevant to all of the energies flowing in, around, and through my world since summer began. I saw an eclipse spread developed by Sharron Basanti from the School of Gypsy Arts  and made space to draw some cards.

I used my (fairly new) Visconti Sforza deck - the Golden Tarot by Mary Packard, which is sumptuous and rich and fun to read with....

What area of my life is the most influenced by the Solar Eclipse? Strength

I love the Strength card, though to be honest, this particular version was what prevented me from acquiring the Visconti-Sforza for so long! A man beating an animal is not at all how I experience Strength, but with historical decks it's critical to understand the context in which the deck art was created. In this case, it's meant to be a man keeping his pride and baser impulses in check. Still, I much prefer to see the friendship between a woman and a lion, bear, boar, or any other similar wild and fierce creature. To live in harmony with the wild within us is far healthier than to beat it into submission!

All of that said, this card makes so much sense for me (and I love the Leo connection between the eclipse and the card itself!). For months now I feel I've been getting to know more intimately than ever before my own wild nature; learning about how to stretch my wild limbs. I feel like a wolf on the inside, and sometimes even see one in my mind's eye when closing my eyes to fall asleep. How do I embrace this birth and still try to hold onto balance? The answer is: I can't always. Birth is messy. And that has largely been my focus for some time now. It's not always pleasant, but then sometimes it is, and I am filled with this glorious and wonderful power of my own feral self.

What illusions are being brought into the light? 8 of Swords rx

Patterns and paradigms have a way of turning in on themselves. Over this past summer I've come to startling and moving realizations about my own mental cages, the constructs that have kept me locked into a particular way of being that no longer fit me anymore. I was too big, and the surroundings too uncomfortable. I was ambling along, quite unaware of what was happening to me, and then one day, I woke up.

How can I embrace my shadow medicine? Knight of Swords rx

The Knight of Swords has long been my shadow warrior. He is upside down because he is my flip side. The Knight of Swords sees so clearly, and is not blinded nor deterred by the ebb and flow of sentimental tides. Once you see, you cannot (and should not) unsee, and there is great strength and conviction available there, in staying in that awareness. This Knight has kept me focused, has encouraged me to speak my truth, even when that truth is sharp and piercing. The determination and forward orientation of the Knight has kept me moving, even when I am uncertain of the destination.

What paradigm shifts will emerge after the eclipse? 2 of Wands

Themes of personal power and the willingness - readiness - to explore new landscapes (both outer and inner) have formed the backdrop of all of "this." If the 8 of Swords directly symbolizes the paradigm shift, the 2 of Wands is the door to new ways of understanding and engaging with myself and my space.

How can I harness potent medicine of the Solar Eclipse for my spiritual practice? 4 of Wands rx

In addition to some pertinent elements including "freedom" and "transition," this card is associated (via the Golden Dawn) with Venus in Aries. Learning how to honor my heart has been another fundamental theme this summer. The other day I pulled a card from the Raven Oracle (by Gabi Bücker) to serve as "food for thought" over the next handful of months - a sort of mantra or reminder when I need to refocus. The card message I received said: "Your heart is a treasure trove - not some smelly sewer." I laughed at that last bit, but the essence is true and relevant for me now. Love is everything; our hearts can handle limitless amounts of it, in all of its many forms. I want to explore all of the love that my heart has to offer, and that is certainly a spiritual practice.

Message from the Sun: 8 of Cups rx

In order to walk a new path, is it necessary to leave behind the old? Can I search my soul, honor myself, live authentically by transforming "what was" instead of discarding it? I think so. And at any rate, I believe that is the "question of the moment" that the Sun is presenting for my consideration.

The Banes: Turning Poison into Medicine

I am participating in an Instagram challenge this month hosted by @lionharts, called #thejunetarot, and the prompt for day eight is: "Last day of the Moon cycle focus."

I drew The Banes from the Druid Plant Oracle (by Philip and Stephanie Car-Gomm) 🌿

I love that the full moon makes an appearance in this card - quite fitting, I'd say, given the prompt! The Banes provide much food for thought...

These are plants that were so often feared for their poisonous qualities, and yet, handled with skill and respect, became powerfully effective medicines. Many such herbs were utilized in the preparation of "flying ointments" meant to induce astral travel and spirit exploration.

How often do we avoid our own dangerous qualities for fear of succumbing to them? Of late I have been pondering the deep power in diving into them; opening up to them; allowing them to teach us. I remember once, many years ago, a young man told me that at his Christian university it was not permitted for students to dance. I looked at him, mouth agape. He became defensive, and explained that as dancing led people to immoral behavior, it was best not to engage in it. I recall thinking about how disempowering that felt: we learn about will, and boundaries, and our Selves, by entering the dance, not by avoiding it.

But I can understand the fear. Our wildness can be intimidating, uncertain. It can loom large over and around and within us. And yet ironically, perhaps, that's the best part. It feels good to plumb our own depths, to see what lurks in our shadowy corners. You let it embrace you, and instead of being overtaken by its potency, you discover just how much power you wield when you are able to own your own skin, the entirety of your being within your grasp. Shadow and light, all the shades in between. There is something sacred and worth savoring in that - a holy medicine.

**********************

I have also been pondering the power of owning our own experiences, from one moment to the next, and not allowing others' ignorance or negativity to poison our own emotional body. Last night we were at the store and while waiting in line to pay, a man told another (in Spanish):

"I just came from Puerto Rico, and I'm not used to seeing 'darkies' out shopping so late."

He was referring to Jorge (and his blackness), and was clearly assuming that we couldn't understand. I was incensed. But instead of confronting the guy (which he would have done some years ago), he said to me:

"You can stay quiet out of fear, or you can stay quiet out of strength. This guy isn't even worth it, and I won't let his stupidity ruin this wonderful night."

Hmmm..... turning poison into medicine.

How Way Leads on to Way

Every once in a while I become mesmerized by the interconnectedness of things, and feel compelled to talk about it: this is one of those moments.

Last Friday I attended a psychometry meeting with a group of (mostly) women. It was the first time in many months that I was able to go, and it was lovely to reconnect with familiar faces. Each meeting begins with a meditation - different each time - meant to calm the mind and open us to the energies of the people and environment around us.

This time our meditation facilitator guided us through the opening of each chakra, and then to the expansion of those energies outward into the earth, the town, the world, and cosmos. Two things were very evident to me during this experience:

• As I expanded outward into the depths of space, I felt Odin's presence, and I was very happy. Being there brought me back to a dream I'd had nearly a year ago (May 2016) about being in outer space, not seeing - but clearly feeling - Odin, and seeing concentric circles surrounding the planet. I won't go into detail here, but if you're curious, feel free to click here to read my post about it.

• I felt a deep calling to connect more deeply to the Earth, and to mother energy. 

Shortly thereafter we began to "read" our objects (click here to read about how psychometry works), and the elderly woman who had my silver bracelet told me (among other things) that she felt I was on earth to teach peace. This is a theme that has been relatively consistent throughout my life. In fact, my tutelary Orisha is Obatalá, who is known for wisdom, patience, and peace. As I was listening to her read the notes she had written, I wondered about that, and about how over the past few years I feel like I've been developing my warrior qualities - how do the two connect when they seem so contrary? 

Yesterday I was feeling a bit glum and in need of "something" unidentifiable. In the evening my husband, son, and I drove downtown to my favorite metaphysical shop. I wandered. I had no clear purpose. I reviewed cards, but none called to me. I wandered through the crystal room, looked, and browsed, and then I saw a small basket filled with green stones - Green Aragonite. I am not normally attracted to green stones (which is a little funny, since green is one of my favorite colors!), but this felt good to me. I sorted through the basket and found a beautiful piece, striated with rusty lines reminiscent of lightning bolts. I was unsure of its characteristics, but it felt calming and nurturing, and right, so I kept it in my hand. 

Then I went to the book room, and let my eyes run over the titles. I thought I caught a glimpse of the word "trees" so I went back over the same shelf more slowly, and found a new book there called, "Be More Tree," by Alice Peck. Hmmm...... I pulled it out and started to flip through it, and I fell in love. The book reviews the qualities of a large array of trees from around the world - their characteristics, their cultural associations and mythologies. There are excerpts from well-known authors that capture the essence or teaching of a particular tree. There are suggestions for ways to "be more tree." 

Over the past month or two I quite suddenly started being utterly moved by the beauty of trees that I'd walked by hundreds of times before. I have always loved trees, and one of my favorite things about the nightly strolls that my husband and I take is the opportunity to simply see and appreciate them (and the birds, and flowers). And yet it was like I was observing them with a whole new set of eyes. I would stop mid-stride, mouth hanging open, ogling the elegance of an oak tree. Once I was so transfixed by the movement of the branches overhead dancing in the evening breeze, the last tendrils of sunlight weaving through their leaves, that my husband had to remind me that a car was coming, and that I should probably move! 

I pondered the Norse creation story, which tells that the first humans were created out of trees. When we went to a local Easter egg hunt, I saw groups of people waiting for the event to start, and next to them there were stands of cypress and oak trees. All I could think of was Ask (Ash) and Embla (Elm), and how closely we are related, somehow.

Indeed, in Germanic cosmology, the multiverse is contained within Yggdrasill, the World Tree. 

This tree book felt just as right as the stone I was carrying, so I purchased both and left the shop. Later I researched Green Aragonite, and found that it connects to Earth goddess energy, and helps calm the nerves. Hm! That was so timely in light of my meditation experience a couple of days before, and an unsurprising-but-affirming reminder that intuition is the best tool for selecting stones. 

Before bed I flipped the book open and it landed "randomly" on Olive - my namesake! Olive is associated with peace, which got me thinking about the psychometry reading, and about my earlier musing on the dichotomy between peace and warrior energy. 

And I realized that they are entirely complementary. We tend to think of them as opposites, but without the courage of the warrior spirit, can there ever be true peace? When I was young (and even into my young adulthood) conflict was deeply challenging for me. I avoided it at all cost, I worked hard to promote harmony and mutual understanding. I thought of myself as a "peace-loving" person, and while that was true, it was also true that I often avoided conflict out of fear. It is one thing to have the courage to be confrontational if necessary, but to prefer the route of thoughtfulness, diplomacy, and peace. It is quite another thing when the preference for peace stems from a place of fear and self-doubt. Obatalá is the Orisha of peace and wisdom, but he was also a great warrior who went to battle countless times. I don't believe he would have been able to be such a valuable force for cool-headed thinking and a calm demeanor without first having learned what it means to fight. 

In that sense, I see how the development of my warrior energy has been a sort of healing process (especially under the tutelage of Odin, though Obatalá's offerings are present here as well), and ultimately serves to make my preference for peace all the more meaningful. 

Cosmos Tarot: A Reading

Yesterday I facilitated my first important meeting in my new position, after spending a couple of weeks preparing for it. Over the course of my various career paths, I've led a lot of meetings, and as a teacher and presenter I'm accustomed to speaking before groups, however this felt like a whole new ball game (so to speak). I was going to be presenting on various critical aspects of my program and requesting feedback from our department's advisory council, and I wanted to make sure that my data was accurate, clearly presented, and well-organized. Needless to say, I was slightly anxious!

Yesterday I decided to pull some cards from the Cosmos Tarot to provide some advice for how to approach this meeting:

1. Do this: 3 of Fire (Tucana)
2. Don't do this: 3 of Air (Hercules)
3. What to be aware of: Judgement (Capricornus)

As I was shuffling the cards, Strength (Puppis) leapt out at me. This was comforting for many reasons, but one of the connections I made was that when I had read on my ability to do this job (during the interview process) I pulled Strength, and found its message of calm confidence and compassion very stabilizing and encouraging. So I saw this as a reminder that the same skills or traits that brought me to this place would sustain me throughout this experience.

In the image on this card we see a ship moving forward between two towering cliffs. Surely the channel is narrow and harrowing to navigate, but the shades of deep purple give a sense of being calm, cool, and collected, and the golden hue in the sky foreshadows success. There are oars in the water - someone is navigating. However the greatest force propelling this ship onward comes from the many beings under the water. Bulls, fish, birds, people.... they are like spirits offering their support and guidance, even in quiet ways.

As advice about where to focus, and what to do, the 3 of Fire encouraged me to focus on goal setting, plans for moving forward with what's been developed thus far. It would be best to have a clear list of proposed focal points to discuss. And the keywords on this particular card read: expression, confidence, communication. Being clear and concise with my words would be important, and then, there again is the theme of confidence...in myself, in my ability, in the ideas I would be sharing.

As advice about where not to focus, and what not to do, the 3 of Air (Hercules) suggested that to focus on the challenge of this meeting would not serve me at all. The keywords here are: great effort, trial. I was feeling somewhat anxious about the meeting, however worrying, focusing on the potential difficulty of the task at hand, would only shake my calm and wear down my confidence. It was important to stop thinking about this meeting as a hardship, or hurdle to be jumped, and start focusing on the benefits of idea sharing and goal setting highlighted by Tucana.

Finally, Judgement, Capricornus, appeared as "what to be aware of." It actually appeared inverted, which told me quite a lot - similar to the message of "confidence" in Strength and the 3 of Fire, this card told me to toss any self-doubt out the window. I had this. I would be fine. Yes, I should review the development of the past year with this council. I should talk about what wasn't working, and how we might take steps to improve those areas. But I should do so with the understanding that I am perfectly prepared to describe and address the pertinent and salient issues, and likewise I am capable, along with the support and diverse perspectives of the advisory team, of directing our "ship" forward into clearer waters (which again conjures that image from Strength). The keywords here are: setting priorities, efficiency, practicality. This would be my focus. Furthermore, I am a Capricorn, and the connection to my sun sign felt important. Last week I met with the dean (my boss) and when she realized that my birthday was coming up soon she said, "Oh, you're a Capricorn! Well no wonder managing the faculty schedules is a breeze for you!" We had a little laugh about that (she also happens to be a Reiki master, which I love, but I digress...)

The story over all told me that I didn't need to worry - that in fact to worry would detract from the experience. All I needed to do was spend a little additional time ensuring that the agenda and discussion items were organized, clear, concise, and geared toward progress. If I could manage that, and preserve my own self-confidence, the meeting would go just fine.

In the end, it did just that!

A New Moon Reading

For day 13 of the October Shadow Work challenge, the wrangler, Mnomquah, tasked participants with a New Moon reading:

The positions (and the cards I drew for myself) are as follows:

1) The Light - what you know and accept about yourself: Chariot
2) The Shadow - what is hidden from you about yourself: 10 of Swords
3) Why you fear your Shadow - what is preventing you from seeing or accepting your Shadow: Strength
4) Why you should embrace your Shadow - what are the positive sides of the Shadow that would benefit you? 7 of Swords reversed
5) How to integrate the Shadow into the Light - what steps you should take in order to accept your Shadow: 5 of Swords reversed
6) The Outcome - the possibilities if you succeed in bringing the Shadow into the Light: Sun and Judgement

Tarot of Vampyres

I have two cards for #6 because I had a "jumper" as I was thinking about that card position. So I've placed both the jumper and the additional card that I selected for that position, as partners.

As I pulled the cards the story that unfolded before me became more and more clear. I said in a previous post that each day of this challenge seems to offer a bit more detail that slowly helps me understand the bigger picture. It continues to be true here.

The fact that my shadow is represented by the 10 of Swords is very fitting. This is the card I pulled as representative of my month of October, and for this entire month I'm working each day with my shadow.

Tarot of Vampyres

I've already identified that part of this shadow work relates to reclaiming my personal power, and also that a predominant emotion that has emerged for me is sadness. When I saw the combination of the Chariot (as my light) and the 10 of Swords, I felt a very familiar sensation: that of powering past pain. The figure on the Chariot is aggressive and determined; nothing will stop him from achieving his goals. In the 10 of Swords I see (and feel) pain. This vampire woman has been knifed right in the solar plexus and lies agonizingly across a four-poster bed. It's interesting because this is often a card of being "stabbed in the back" and yet the source of my own pain often centers in the solar plexus. These cards represent two aspects of myself: the part that has experienced sharp, deep pain, and the part that insists on riding past it as swiftly as possible, hurrying away from the suffering as fast as my beast will take me; refusing to spend any more time in that dark space than is absolutely necessary. I will myself to move on because I can't bear the idea of lingering.

I've always been a very happy person. I am a peacemaker. I seek to understand and honor others. I tend to see the best in people. I am more trusting than suspicious. I want to heal others and make them happy. Joy is part of my essential nature, a core foundation of my soul. Throughout my life, from the time I was a very small child, I've had a visceral opposition to negativity, but most particularly to feelings of sadness or despair. Over a year ago I wrote a blog post for the Litha Blog Hop called "Joy and Shadows" in which I discuss how difficult it has always been for me to process sadness.

But as you grow up, you do experience pain, and some of it can feel unbearable at times. My instinct is to power past it. To distract myself through the worst of it, and to move on as quickly as possible, most especially when I feel betrayed and shamed. My desire has always been to let the difficult memories fade with time until they become nought but occasional and brief recollections of another era.

So the Chariot, my aware-self, streams past the shadow-pain of the 10 of Swords, using its pure Will to force the grief undercover.

Tarot of Vampyres

Card 3 represents what prevents me from seeing or accepting my shadow, and I pulled Strength. At first look this might seem strange: how would embodying strength, compassion, or resilience keep me from dealing with pain? And on one hand there is something to be said for the consequences of my desire to smooth things over, to bend over backwards being compassionate to the people who have hurt me, trying to understand others to the point of undervaluing my own experience. There is something potent there. But there is also another side: the Chariot, my light, is about hard control - using force and determination to get what is desired. It is externally oriented, it's about what you (and others) can see. Strength is about soft control, and it's internally oriented. In Strength, the black panther symbolizes this woman's fierce inner power, fully integrated. What that means to me is that by avoiding pain, I'm avoiding the opportunity become fully integrated with my own divine power. And that has been a major element in my shadow work.

The 7 of Swords reversed speaks to why I should embrace my shadow - the positive aspects that my shadow might afford me. This says that confronting, sitting with, accepting, working with (instead of against) my shadow is the ultimate act of honesty with myself, of reclaiming my power. It allows me to see who and what I am, to realize that I'm truly capable of making the changes that I want to see, of embodying the fiery qualities that I know I possess in my soul.

Position 5 deals with how I might integrate the shadow into the light, and I pulled the 5 of Swords reversed:

Tarot of Vampyres

I often think of this as the "bully card." What I really like about the imagery here is that in its inverted position (which is how it appeared) the prostrate girl changes positions with the demon. Upright the demon hovers over the young lady like a dark cloud, but reversed, she returns to the light. Symbolically this shows a turning of tides, a reversal of the difficult qualities of this card where the victim becomes the victor. This card suggests letting bygones be bygones, however in order to do that I need to give myself time and space to review my past. If I don't become fully aware of what I'm avoiding, it will follow me like... a shadow!.... right on into the future. The time is here to let go: have I truly forgiven my trespassers? What does it mean to "forgive and forget?" Can I forgive without forgetting, and if so, how do I keep the memory of difficult situations in my psyche without being drawn back into that pain? What does true forgiveness even look like? What shame or embarrassment still lingers in the background and how is it impacting me? How can I break free?

If I succeed in my efforts to integrate my shadow with the light, I have both Judgement and the Sun waiting for me:

Tarot of Vampyres

The Sun bounced happily out from the deck, and was interesting for two reasons: 1) according to my birth cards, the Sun is my shadow, in which case this shows that I will have literally reclaimed it, and 2) the card itself shows the essence of light and dark intertwined into a harmonious union. I decided to make a mental note of the Sun's presence, and I put it back into the deck to complete shuffling. When I finally pulled all of the cards, I was again quite impressed to see Judgement in this position #6. This is the card that represented yesterday's topic of "What I can't accept about myself." So again, this drives home the immense, powerful, and touching energies that I'm working with, and that with effort I can indeed achieve this. I decided, for curiosity's sake, to see what card was hiding behind Judgement, and lo and behold, it was none other than the Sun.

I have a lot more to say, far more to consider, and over time I'll do just that. But for now, it's tea time.

Lusting for Connection, Owning Our Selves

Strength is one of my favorite cards in any deck - not because I've always been innately drawn to it (like I am to the Hermit, for instance), but because it has presented itself to me consistently over time, showing up in important, deeply meaningful ways. It resonates with me on a profound level; I've come to love it and value what it's taught me.

Strength is titled "Lust" in the Thoth deck. It's one of my favorite depictions of the card in the palpable rawness of energy, passion, and vibrance that emanates from Babalon astride the great Beast. It's interesting, the cultural associations with the term "lust," and what it means. Though at its core it signifies deep desire and longing, it has over time come to represent this impulse primarily in the context of human sexuality, and in particular female sexuality, something that has been stigmatized in many ways throughout time. Many attempts have been made (since the beginning of time, perhaps) to dampen, control, and subdue the sexuality of women, precisely because it is the source of great power. In so many ways, it is the womb of all of humanity.

XI. Lust
Crowley/Harris; U.S. Games Systems

Babalon is a woman, a mother, a creatrix, who entirely owns who and what she is. She is not a whore, she is the source of all that we are, sculptor of the energetic depths of her counterpart, Chaos. She owns her sexual power (upon delving deep, deep down, it becomes clear that energy is energy is energy, and sexual energy is an aspect of divine energy - Lust is not only about sexual energy, but all energy, raw force, which includes sexual energy as a source of vibrant, spiritual power).

On the most mundane levels, Strength, Lust, is inner power, strength of character, confidence and self-understanding. It is primal ferocity, tempered by intellect and wisdom. It is compassion and love. It is the divine spark within us.

I absolutely love what Lon Milo Duquette wrote about this card in his book titled, Understanding Aleister Crowley's Thoth Tarot (Weiser Books, 2003):

The supreme spiritual message of this card may be summed up something like this: Eventually each of us will come to a level of consciousness so profoundly high that the only level higher is the universal consciousness of deity itself. Our dissolution into the infinite is the ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate marriage. Deity lusts for that moment when all her children will return to her. Someday, each one of us will also lust for that moment (pg. 127).

Using the Cards for Yes/No Questions

I would say that, in general, I'm more a fan of using Tarot for gaining deeper insights into the variety of situations in which we encounter ourselves in life.  Using Tarot to provide guidance, to highlight major energies or themes that influence us and the decisions we make. Sometimes to take a look at where our current paths our leading us.  But yes/no questions?  Not so much.

Deviant Moon Tarot
Patrick Valenza, US Games 2008

I know that a lot of people have differing opinions on this, and some are very much in favor, while others feel it's a poor use of this sacred tool.  So I decided to experiment.

You could do an Internet search for this topic and find numerous blogs and websites that will give you 82 different ways to determine the answer to a yes or no question using the cards.  Some are very simple: pick a card, and if it's upright the answer is yes, if it's reversed, the answer is no. Some are more complicated: select three cards, and if the majority are upright or reversed, there is your answer! But if it's a Pentacle instead of a Wand it might be a maybe!  Well, you get the idea, anyway. Some people reserve special decks for yes/no questions, or won't consider the influence of the Major Arcana at all. I find that if it seems too complicated, it probably is.

Deviant Moon Tarot
Patrick Valenza - US Games 2008

I use reversals, so to me the easiest way to test out yes/no questions is to draw a single card.  If it's upright, then it's yes, and if it's reversed, then no.  I also would consider the message of the card itself for additional information about the energies involved. Clearly in order to test this out it's necessary to ask a question whose answer can be determined in a relatively short period of time (and I would not test this out on a client, preferring to use my own life as the guinea pig).

I decided to ask if I would hear from a friend in the next 7 days.  This is a friend I normally don't keep in close contact with, though we've known each other for many years, and it's been more than six months since our last conversation.  Now I felt that this would be an obvious "no." So I asked a formal yes/no question: "Will I hear from this friend within the next 7 days?" I shuffled and cut and…

Deviant Moon Tarot
Patrick Valenza - US Games 2008

...the first card I pulled was the Magician, upright. Well that certainly looked pretty "yes-ish." I peeked at the next card, which was Strength, also upright.  Hm. Another strong "yes" card. Just to be absolutely SURE, I looked at the card below Strength, which was the King of Swords, upright.  Really?  I glanced at the card at the bottom of the deck: King of Wands, upright. Well okay, apparently my cards were saying - no, screaming - YES!!!! But I didn't feel like it would be a yes.  So I thought, "This will be a showdown between my reason and my cards. Let's see what happens!"

King of Wands - Deviant Moon Tarot
Patrick Valenza - US Games 2008

So I put my cards away after having documented those that I'd drawn and my thoughts about the whole thing.  And I went to bed.  I woke up the next morning at 6:30am and grabbed my phone for my morning ritual of Facebook-News-Weather-Time, and noticed that I had an email, too. When I opened my inbox what did I find?  A message from my friend.

So what did I learn from this?  Just maybe I can use my cards for yes/no questions after all.  Now if I'm going to be sciency about it (which I am) I'll be doing many more of these little experiments to see what happens, how things feel, how things turn out, what subtle nuances come across, and how to understand and interpret them in the context of this sort of concrete, straight-forward question. I'm not going to take this show on the road anytime soon, but I am at least open to exploring this "other" reading technique….. :)