I Am

Alaina from Exploringly Yours invited me to compose an "I Am" poem. After sitting on the idea for a  few days, one night this poem simply exploded forth from my soul:

I am

the hunger

I am

the wild

within

I am

the fertile

mother

the ravenous

wolf

the craving

and the sin.

I am

voluminous

a yawning

embrace

I am

a tidal flow

in and out

the thirst

the life

the primal shout

I am

a woman

I am

the untamed

the fury

the passion

and the grace.

I encourage you to write your own, and if you do, please let me know so that I can read them!

Lusting for Connection, Owning Our Selves

Strength is one of my favorite cards in any deck - not because I've always been innately drawn to it (like I am to the Hermit, for instance), but because it has presented itself to me consistently over time, showing up in important, deeply meaningful ways. It resonates with me on a profound level; I've come to love it and value what it's taught me.

Strength is titled "Lust" in the Thoth deck. It's one of my favorite depictions of the card in the palpable rawness of energy, passion, and vibrance that emanates from Babalon astride the great Beast. It's interesting, the cultural associations with the term "lust," and what it means. Though at its core it signifies deep desire and longing, it has over time come to represent this impulse primarily in the context of human sexuality, and in particular female sexuality, something that has been stigmatized in many ways throughout time. Many attempts have been made (since the beginning of time, perhaps) to dampen, control, and subdue the sexuality of women, precisely because it is the source of great power. In so many ways, it is the womb of all of humanity.

XI. Lust
Crowley/Harris; U.S. Games Systems

Babalon is a woman, a mother, a creatrix, who entirely owns who and what she is. She is not a whore, she is the source of all that we are, sculptor of the energetic depths of her counterpart, Chaos. She owns her sexual power (upon delving deep, deep down, it becomes clear that energy is energy is energy, and sexual energy is an aspect of divine energy - Lust is not only about sexual energy, but all energy, raw force, which includes sexual energy as a source of vibrant, spiritual power).

On the most mundane levels, Strength, Lust, is inner power, strength of character, confidence and self-understanding. It is primal ferocity, tempered by intellect and wisdom. It is compassion and love. It is the divine spark within us.

I absolutely love what Lon Milo Duquette wrote about this card in his book titled, Understanding Aleister Crowley's Thoth Tarot (Weiser Books, 2003):

The supreme spiritual message of this card may be summed up something like this: Eventually each of us will come to a level of consciousness so profoundly high that the only level higher is the universal consciousness of deity itself. Our dissolution into the infinite is the ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate marriage. Deity lusts for that moment when all her children will return to her. Someday, each one of us will also lust for that moment (pg. 127).

Enochian Tarot Review: Cosmos and Chaos

I'd been eyeing the Enochian Tarot for a while (not to be confused with the Enochian Skryring Tarot), at first mainly because I love the artwork (and philosophy) of Sallie Ann Glassman, who also illustrated one of my favorite decks of all time, the New Orleans Voodoo Tarot. From what I could see online the artwork in the Enochian deck appeared to be just as engaging and moving. But I knew very little about Enochian magic, which is a system first written about by John Dee, advisor to Queen Elizabeth I. So I hesitated for a while, and just recently decided to purchase it now rather than wake up one morning to find that it was no longer available!

This is only a partial review; I'll be working with this deck often in the time to come, and I'm sure in the process I'll be learning a lot more about it which will help me provide more depth and breadth in future posts. But I can already say that I'm intrigued and even excited by the Enochian Tarot now that I've had a chance to look it over and pull some cards, and I am looking forward to the journey onward!

The Enochian Tarot was created by Gerald and Betty Schueler, illustrated by Sallie Ann Glassman (as I've already mentioned), and published by Llewellyn. In the accompanying booklet the Schuelers mention that there are roughly three branches of Enochian magic: that of the Golden Dawn, of O.T.O (Ordo Templi Orientis), and a third derived from the studies of the Schuelers themselves, which accounts for some small inconsistencies in the layout. This deck is fashioned, naturally, after the latter.

The deck itself is structured not unlike a traditional Tarot deck, though there are clearly some major distinctions. There is a set of 30 Majors, called "Aethyrs," that correlate with the planes of the ethereal realm where different angelic beings reside. Each card has a lesson and a unique energy, and while not arranged entirely parallel to the Fool's Journey (though there is definitely a path of sorts), there are certainly cards that carry energies very similar to the Majors in a more traditional deck. There are 56 Minors divided into four suits that correspond to the four Watchtowers, or elements (fire, earth, air, water). However these Minor suits are arranged very differently from traditional Tarot, and feature the hierarchy of beings associated with each of the Watchtowers. There are seven "court cards" in each, comprised of a King and six Seniors (these relate variably to feminine and masculine energies). Then we have the Higher and Lower Sephirothic Cross Angels, Kerubic Angels, Archangels, Ruling Angels, Lesser Angels, and Demons. (Are you entirely lost yet?)

 I love decks that require study, and this one certainly does. At this point I have the sensation of standing at the precipice of a new adventure, like a spark of quiet excitement, and I'm looking forward to what I will learn with time. This deck was originally printed in 1989, and was reprinted in 2000 (I have the 2000 reprint). It comes with a sturdy booklet - somewhat grander than a LWB - that contains a brief introduction to Enochian magic and the system itself, plus card meanings, spreads, and even rituals. I would recommend acquiring a more complete book because the card meanings themselves are really only presented as keywords, which isn't a lot of sustenance when learning a new system. But it does give you something to start with! The card backs are deep red and feature an Enochian seal, which is almost reversible. These cards are meant to be read both upright and inverted, and meanings for both orientations are included in the booklet.

Last night I was shuffling the cards, getting a feel for them, and asked, "What will my experience be like working with this deck?" I pulled II-Babalon ("Arn" Aethyr).

Enochian Tarot - Babalon
G. and B. Schueler/S.A. Glassman

The booklet describes this card as carrying feminine energy, which corresponds to the image on the card of a female figure sitting on a throne. With the moon-like shape above her head there is almost a High Priestess quality to the depiction, yet it's much more than that. Babalon is a triple-aspected mother goddess, and she incorporates sexuality, motherhood, and mystery into her complex, deep folds. There are layers of both the Empress and the High Priestess here, and in fact it is Babalon who is featured on the Lust card in the Thoth Tarot. The keywords given for Babalon are: "intense bliss, intense joy, happiness, harmony." It feels like a beautiful embrace, welcoming me warmly into the journey of working with this system.

This morning I felt pulled to draw a daily card from this deck rather than my standard 3-card Lenormand draw. I mixed the cards around on my bed, and drew one: IV-Cosmos and Chaos ("Paz" Aethyr).

Enochian Tarot - Cosmos and Chaos
G. and B. Schueler/S.A. Glassman

This card is very closely related to the Lovers card in traditional Tarot. Its keywords are: "good relationships, attraction of opposites, lovers." The energy is both masculine and feminine, which of course we would expect! So why Cosmos and Chaos? They are the female and male aspects of the creative principle, and interestingly (in light of my previous draw), Babalon is considered the female consort of Chaos (at least according to Thelemic teachings). So the depiction shown in the card may well be Babalon and Chaos enmeshed in each other's arms. In many traditions it is said that Chaos existed long before creation (Cosmos) and thus it is the great abyss out of which all order is derived. Rudolf Steiner, the Austrian philosopher and esotericist, said in a 1907 lecture:

Genius is like a fresh spark; it is out-of-the-ordinary just because a union there takes place between the Cosmos and the Chaos; thereby a new thing arises not connected with the laws of evolution that come from olden time. It enters in from other worlds like a Divine spark. Genius is the marriage of the past with the present, of the Cosmos with the Chaos.

Cosmos and Chaos exist as separate yet intimately connected aspects of existence and creative energy. They come together, and through their union a third entity - a spark of knowing, a relationship, creative brilliance - is born. A beautiful, not wholly unfamiliar, concept. And indeed, the cards were entirely clued in to my reality on this day! After six weeks of separation, my husband is coming home tonight, and I am utterly excited, counting down the minutes until his arrival.

This deck is intriguing, mysterious, wonder-ful, and yes, challenging. I'm quite ready for the voyage. As I work with the Enochian Tarot over time I'll continue to post about my experiences, a review in parts, if you will. ;-)