Mabon Blog Hop: Trusting Intuition

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Greetings, and Happy Mabon! Please use the links at the top or bottom of this post to access the other wonderful blogs in this circle.

Our wrangler for this hop, Morgan Drake Eckstein, has asked us to consider and write about a time when we feel we made a "quantum leap" in our understanding of the cards. At first I didn't know what I might write about for this topic, because learning and integration of Tarot (as with any divination system) feels so gradual, and in some ways implicit.

But one afternoon I received a reading request from a client, and it wasn't about love, or work, or money. She had been studying the cards for years and felt she wasn't making any progress. She wanted to know what was creating limitations for her, and how to be a better reader. These are the kinds of questions I really love to explore with clients, and as we worked through her reading we found that she was over-intellectualizing the process. She was treating divination like math class: memorize the formulas, understand what the symbols mean….and once she's done that she should be golden, right? But she wasn't golden. She was stuck.

As we explored her blocks and how to address them, I was brought back to that "quantum leap" I'd made in my own studies, and I knew just what to write about for this hop…

That little voice that speaks to us….
Photo Credit

When I first started to really study and learn Tarot I used a Marseilles-style deck; the Major Arcana was beautifully illustrated, but the cards in the Minor Arcana featured just the appropriate number of elements for the suit. In other words, the 6 of Pentacles showed just six pentacles. There were no images that might help a novice learner understand the energy being represented. I'm an academic, and I'm very methodical about learning. I went to the library, found a nice book on Tarot meanings that also showed the Rider Waite images for each card, and I studied and memorized and studied and memorized. I created lists and charts, and I learned that deck. When I saw the 4 of Swords, I didn't just see four swords, I imagined the Rider Waite depiction, and it helped make meaningful connections to my own deck. Great?

Sort of! Except studying in that way is like crafting a mojo bag without breathing life into it. It's static and stale. I wanted my readings to come to life, become more dynamic, but I had spent so much time memorizing those book meanings that I was afraid to let them go. Eventually I decided I needed some help - I needed someone to encourage me to let go of my limitations, to tap into something more than my intellect. One day I saw an advertisement for an "Intuitive Tarot" class at a local metaphysical shop, and I signed right up.

The instructor was a wonderful woman who had been working with the cards and as a medium for over 30 years. The first thing she said was "bring whatever deck appeals to you." I had brought the Radiant Rider Waite because I assumed that would be the deck of choice for a formal class. But she felt that the most important thing about becoming a reader is not to memorize meanings, but to pay attention to the art - what does it say? What parts draw your attention? How does it make you feel? How do the colors mesh together, and what message does that send? To read that way, it's best to have a deck that you're drawn to, not necessarily the most common or traditional deck.

Golden Tarot - Liz Dean

To be clear, she wasn't encouraging students not to study card meanings - she felt that in the long run knowing the meanings would be very helpful. But she wanted everyone in the room to leave class on the last day with the ability to give accurate readings, and knowing book meanings wasn't essential for that. (As a side note, I suspect there are many people who never read Tarot because they're overwhelmed by the prospect of having to learn all those meanings. This particular method teaches that you can give great readings by trusting your intuition first, and there's still room to work on traditional meanings and structure over time). Whew, I was in the right place! In fact it was harder for me than for other students because I was so attached to those meanings; I had to unlearn a bit in order to loosen up and open up my intuitive channels.

That class was wonderful in that it gave me "permission" to let the cards speak to me personally, to delve into a deeper level of reading than what I had been allowing myself to experience. And in the end I was able to find a reading style that struck a comfortable balance between my intuition and rational mind, so that I was able to honor both; my readings became so much richer and more profound. That was rewarding.

High Priestess, by Panskiduf

But trusting your intuition is not always easy, especially when you're first learning. And in the case of my client who'd been studying for years and wasn't making significant progress, her blockage hinged on her fear of honoring her intuition and letting it speak to her. Most readers have had that experience - you have a "gut feeling," or a hunch, or a proverb pops into your head seemingly out of nowhere. Do you tell the client, or keep it to yourself? What if you're wrong? Too risky, better just stick with the standard meanings. Then the client starts chattering away about the details of their situation, and everything you were feeling turns out to be precisely the case, and if you'd have just said that then your reading would have been so much better! Well, that's the process of learning to trust yourself, and it takes time and a pinch of bravery, but it's so worth it in the long-run.

With that, I send you on to the next Blog Hop post - Mabon Blessings!

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Herbs and the Wildwood

I've been studying herbal healing for quite a while now, and it's something I find extremely rewarding and enjoyable. There is nothing quite as satisfying as hand-mixing a personal blend of elderberry, elder flower, red clover (or any other appropriate herb, root or berry) into a gently aromatic and tasty tea…with health benefits!

I remember quite vividly my first encounter with the power of herbal medicine: I was in my second year of high school and was feeling a rather "backed up" (ahem). I decided to take a cup of senna leaf tea from my mother's cupboard, doubting it would really have any particular impact on my system. Its taste was pleasant, and shortly after drinking it I went to bed. The next day was one of the most embarrassing days of my life. My intestines whistled and rumbled throughout each of my classes, and I was sure that everyone could hear. I had to run to the bathroom at least three different times, which was humiliating, to say the least. But I learned a really good lesson - herbal medicine really works!

I have a small herb garden, do some wildcrafting, and purchase the rest of my dried plants and roots from a local metaphysical shop. My library has expanded over time to include a nice array of books on both healing and magical properties of various plants and roots, as well as a multitude of preparations from infusions and decoctions to tinctures and salves. I suppose my Queen of Pentacles aspect is in full glory when I'm digging my hands in the earth tending my garden, and just as much so when a child comes down with the sniffles and I sift through my bundles of leaves and flowers to find just the right combination to help them start to feel better.

Likewise I take great pleasure in crafting grisgris bags to address an array of energetic or material lulls, whether financial, career-oriented, or even issues related to embracing self-love and heightening self-esteem. Herbs are a gift from nature that help heal us and improve our lives in so many ways!

As with all things, herbal study is an ever-evolving practice. I will never stop expanding and growing, and truthfully still consider myself a novice to the art. I was moved to pull out my Wildwood a couple of days ago, and as I was sitting with my cards I decided to pull three cards regarding my path as a medicinal and magical herbalist:

Wildwood Tarot/Will Worthington

Balance ~  8 of Stones ~ Pole Star

XIV Balance is closely related to the Temperance card in more traditional Tarot, and is a card of alchemy. In the DruidCraft Tarot this card bears the name "the Fferyllt," and features a woman standing over a cauldron mixing potions, such as what a healer would do. In the Wildwood two dragons, red and blue, curl around a tree creating a shape reminiscent of the commonly used medical symbol, the caduceus, (which itself is a misrepresentation of the original rod of Asclepius, the Greek god of healing - but I digress!). I was pleased to see this card because it has such close associations with healing - it felt like a confirmation of the path I'm on.

Next I was not at all surprised (and in fact really happy) to see the 8 of Stones, a card of apprenticeship and long-term learning. This is a card of study and acquired skill, supporting the potential for mastery of the topic in question as long as plenty of effort and energy is dedicated to the process. The man in the Wildwood image is carving stone lamps, though it very much looks (to me) like he's hard at work with a mortar and pestle! 

Finally, another healing card punctuates the line of three, the inspiring Pole Star. The Star is a light in the darkness. The Wanderer enters the deep wood where visibility will be low. There will be much to see and learn, though it may be incremental - with so many trees, perspective is limited. But the path is taking the Wanderer ever onward, and the Star is a hopeful symbol that all is as it is meant to be. 

I was very moved by this reading. 

Now, time to head to the library ;-)

"Death" Isn't Just a New Beginning

I've read several times recently (and it comes up quite a lot) that Death is nothing to be scared of, it simply means a new beginning, and isn't that wonderful?

I think this happens because of the over-vilification of Death in the past, especially on television shows or in the movies, where the card was played up as a symbol of impending doom, and usually physical death. There are many readers that want to make the card more friendly by now playing up the "new chapter" of life that is a natural result of big change, but I think that mindset, while understandable, robs the work that Death does, detracts from the importance of its process in our lives.

Pamela Colman Smith Commemorative Deck
U.S. Games

Because Death is a process. It's not called the "New Beginning" card because before something new (regardless of how wonderful it is) can begin, something else has to end. And with endings comes mourning, struggle, fear, and loss. And those are challenging emotions to experience, but there is great catharsis in allowing that grief to unfold. Anyone who has experienced the energy of the Death card understands that there is far more to it than a nice new start (even though if we have any awareness of what that new phase might be, it may serve as a nice focal point for us while we're in the trenches). It's work! It's sad, and it hurts, and at the same time there is a touching beauty to it because it's a sacred aspect of the experience of being alive, and of growth.

Thoth Tarot - A. Crowley, F. Harris
U.S. Games

I hope that all readers honor that sacred space if Death should appear in a reading. Rather than rushing to the "happy ending," place value on the journey involved.  It's true that having to convey difficult messages is a skill readers must work on (and one that takes time to develop) and sometimes it's easier to play up the sunny part - the new start - but it's really an art worth honing so that the full and powerful message that Death symbolizes isn't lost in translation.

World Spirit Tarot - L. O'Leary, J. Godino
Llewellyn Publishing

I read a wonderful quote today that quite honestly made me cry, and it's the truest definition of the Death card (and some many recognize the Tower here as well) that I've ever read, and I want to share it with you:

“Whatever can be threatened, whatever can be shaken, whatever you fear cannot stand, is destined to crash. Do not go down with the ship. Let that which is destined to become the past slip away. Believe that the real you is that which beckons from the future. If it is a sadder you, it will be a wiser one. And dawn will follow the darkness sooner or later. Rebirth can never come without death.” 
― Robert M. Price

The Barons Come Calling

I feel like I’ve been gone so long, I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve started to write this post a couple of times, and each time ended up stopping due to being entirely overwhelmed!

For a long time (months, I suppose) I’d been foreseeing a June full of changes. I saw that I’d perhaps experience something negative that would have potentially positive financial consequences, but had no idea what that would look like in real life. We were planning a trip to Michigan to drop the kids off with my parents for several weeks, and I saw some challenges and surprises surrounding that, but had no idea how that would play out either.  June was certainly a “full” month, and the trip to Michigan was not without its challenges, and in this post I’ll attempt to shed some light on the cards (and runes) I was seeing, and how things ultimately fell together…

 Wildwood Tarot
W. Worthington

When I did a New Year’s reading for myself, choosing a card for each month of the year, The Great Bear (from the Wildwood Tarot - similar to Judgment) fell into the position for June 2014. Likewise, when I did Jorge’s, the Journey (akin to Death) fell for the same month in his reading. That was enough for me to be very aware of what might develop during this particular month, and in the time leading up to June I did quite a few spreads with the intention of gleaning as much information as possible. I would see Lenormand cards that to me suggested an ending (or possibly illness or death!) that would help me financially. Naturally I was a bit nervous, but I also didn’t really know how that would manifest. I was hoping everyone in my family would be okay. On the first day of June I flew up to Michigan for 2 short days to attend the wedding reception for my sister. On the final afternoon I was looking at cards for the return trip and kept seeing cards like: Rider – Whip – Coffin, and Rider – Crossroads – Cross that had me anxious. Would my flight be canceled? No, it wasn’t, and it went on quite normally and according to plan. I wasn’t sure what those cards were about, even though such cards for daily draws are usually toned down, and hence don’t carry the same intense meaning as it might usually. Less than 24 hours later I was back home and sitting at a red light waiting to turn left, when I was suddenly hit by a man who had crossed through the intersection, passed over top of the median, and slammed into the side of my car. I was stunned, but fortunately didn’t have anything more than a few bumps and bruises, and some shoulder aches. This man had bounced off me and hit the woman behind me as well. In the end, he had no insurance to speak of, and my company was considering going after this man legally. I was prepared for a long and stressful journey. Interestingly, the insurance company deemed my car a total loss, and they paid off the remainder of the car loan, and then some. We had already considered downsizing to a single car for our family, but didn’t think we’d get enough in the sale to make up for what we had left of our loan, so it didn’t seem likely that we would be a one-car family anytime soon. Suddenly we were down to one car, I wasn’t too injured, and our loan was entirely gone.

All of that was challenging, yet ultimately worked out heavily in our favor, and I realized that this was the event I’d been seeing in my cards – not a death or illness, but definitely a severe ending that led to financial improvement. The side effect of the crash was that I passed through a period of deep existentialism. In Spanish we say “cuando te toca, te toca,” meaning that when it’s your time, there’s nothing you can do about it. I’m a good driver, a careful driver, but sometimes it just doesn’t matter how great you are. This man made a beeline right for me, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Looking back I realized that those cards I’d pulled before my return to Florida were precisely describing my accident and its location (at a crossroads). But there was nothing I could really have done about it. Even if I’d been aware that it was referring to a car accident, how could I have known which intersection, or in which manner it would unfold? Rather than being a negative thing, I saw this (and still do) as a powerful teaching experience for working with predictions, one that makes me a more skilled reader/interpreter.

Still, I was quite upset about the occurrence. I realized just how fragile things are, and how unexpectedly a millisecond can totally change your life. I didn’t have a hard time driving after that (though Jorge didn’t really want me to!), but I did experience anxiety when I was a passenger – I wasn’t in control, couldn’t gauge the velocity or time needed to stop the car – and every car that passed by or made a rapid movement really scared me and had me grabbing the seat, white-knuckled. I’m much better now, but that sense of treating each moment as precious and valuable still hasn’t left me.

New Orleans Voodoo Tarot
S. Glassman

During that time I had little desire to interact with the outside world. I became very focused on my private life – family, myself, my goals. I took an unplanned break from everything while shifting and reevaluating.  And along the way I kept reading about this big trip up to Michigan with the kids which would happen at the very end of June, and I was seeing cards like the Sun reversed, 3 of Swords, 5 of Cups…and that was concerning! I didn’t need another difficult blow. I was on the verge of canceling the trip simply to avoid any challenges. I pulled more cards from my Voodoo Tarot and drew the Barons – essentially a wild card that predicts unexpected chaos for which you can do nothing but keep your sense of humor. Really?

Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot

I pulled runes, and they all said the same thing: expect the unexpected!

I did what I could. I had Jorge fix everything on the car, change the tires and the oil. At least I didn’t want the car breaking down! On the morning of our departure I pulled three Lenormand cards: Lady – Bouquet – Ship. That was an incredible comfort to me – we’d have a comfortable voyage. And in the end our ride north was smooth, albeit long, and we arrived in Michigan without any problems. Whew!

But all of those cards and runes that had concerned me were entirely apt:

The Sun reversed, 3 of Swords, and 5 of Cups were spot on. I was heartbroken about leaving my kids behind with my parents. I knew they’d be in good hands, but my little son had never been away from us – ever – and I was deeply concerned that he would have a hard time adjusting. I was so sad. In fact Jorge and I were both sad enough to change our plans a bit. On the day we were originally going to leave to drive back home (sans kids) we decided that I would stay on for another week and Jorge would drive the car back on his own. He had to leave for Sweden a couple of days later so he couldn’t stay with me. So I alerted my work, took some extra vacation days, and bought a one-way flight back home for the following Sunday. Quite a significant change at the last moment!

Hagal

Then, on the evening of the day that Jorge left to drive home, I discovered that all of the kids had contracted lice. Isa had spent time trying on hats at H&M a couple of weeks before, and all the kids share the same hairbrush. So Jorge left, and I acquired lice shampoo, bedding spray, and nit combs, and went to work. I spent an entire day washing and combing out hair, spraying mattresses and washing clothes, and I spent several more days following that doing damage control (and being extremely paranoid). Meanwhile I could see the Barons laughing at me in my mind’s eye, and I just had to laugh along with them. Sometimes things get so crazy and out of hand that laughing really is the best, and maybe only, thing to do.

On his way back home Jorge told me that one of the tires kept losing air…one of the brand new tires we just had put on. He had to stop every couple of hours to refill it with air, and upon arriving at home he took it back to the auto shop at which point they showed him a large hole in the tire; we must have run over something on the highway and punctured the tire without realizing it. Fortunately he was able to change it so it was in perfect condition when I flew back into town.

My favorite part of all of this is that as I did these readings for myself prior to the trip, I wrote them down in my journal along with advice for myself. In fact at one point I told myself: “Things may not go according to plan. If money becomes a concern, don’t worry too much – money is just a tool.”  Um…yes!!!!!! Though I re-read this after the fact, it was still comforting to me. Indeed, many things deviated from expectation, and money was a very useful tool in this case. I’d also forgotten that I’d pulled cards on how to get through any complications, and my advice had been to go slow, be patient, and cover all the bases – but that ultimately I’d be okay. I suppose I should pay more attention to my own readings!

Experiences like this help give heightened perspective for readings that ultimately help us become far better, more discerning, wise, and careful readers, and I’m grateful for everything I’ve learned. In many ways my June was certainly the beginning of a Rebirth of sorts, and I’ll likely be riding the wave for some time to come.

Tarot Tip: Reading for Yourself

Card readers seems to differ on the topic of reading for oneself - some feel it's not appropriate (for a variety of reasons) whereas others thoroughly enjoy and benefit from self-readings, and see them as a tool for self-empowerment. It's true that depending on the topic it can be hard to be objective, but I tend to fall in the "it's a wonderful thing to do" camp. Some of my deepest, most touching, and most brutally honest readings have been those I've done for myself.

The Queen of Cups: self-reading since 1450A.D.
Golden Tarot - Kat Black

Here are some tips to make the self-reading practice as nurturing and nourishing (and fair!) as possible:

1) Feel free to read on emotionally-charged issues, but use wisdom! Don't automatically write off weighty self-readings under the assumption that you will never be able to be fair with yourself. Yes, it's easy to misinterpret the cards either way due to subjectivity. You may see a line of challenging cards and convince yourself that D-Day has arrived, or toward the other extreme, you may view them with rose-colored glasses. You may even look for the "catch" in a group of very positive and affirming cards. But before giving up on your ability to understand your own cards clearly and justly, consider this: "If I were doing this reading for a client, what would I say to them?" If you can separate your own fears and judgements from your cards, you may find a powerful message waiting there for you.

2) Don't read for yourself if you're expecting, or needing, to hear a particular answer. (This goes for everyone considering getting any kind of divinatory reading!) The cards tell you what you need to hear, not always what you want to hear. You already know this, and it's far easier to acknowledge that fact when reading for other people. When it's yourself, it can be more challenging. So if you feel you can't handle a certain outcome, don't read for yourself. Take time to work through your feelings and thoughts. If you get to a point when you feel you can be open, then give it a whirl!

3) If you pull a card for yourself and it doesn't immediately make sense, don't dismiss it right away. Give it some time, consider the essence of the card, and what the image is conveying. Let it percolate, as they say. You may be surprised as you recognize an aspect of your feelings or the context of your situation that are important and real, but hadn't been at the forefront of your mind, or you hadn't considered before.

4) Not all questions have to be high-stakes. One of my favorite questions to ask the cards for myself is: how am I feeling about X (insert topic here)? It may seem silly, or like it should be obvious, but simple self-readings such as this can be very illuminating, and can help you to pay attention to important elements of your inner world that you may have been neglecting. Tarot is a great tool for self-awareness and guidance, and that's true as much for the small things as it is for the big things.

5) When in doubt, feel free to request a reading from an impartial reader! Reading for yourself can be a deeply rewarding experience, and can be a great way to grow both in relationship to the cards, and in relationship to your Self. But if you really want some insight about something important in your life and don't feel you can be objective, it's an act of wisdom to recognize that and to reach out to someone else.

5 of Water on the Last Day of School

My oldest daughter is transitioning from middle school to high school, and today is her last day of 8th grade. While she's extremely excited about being "in the big leagues" she's understandably bittersweet about leaving an entire school and social structure behind. She was giggling and dancing around the kitchen last night, noticeably anxious, and she said rather off-handedly, "Mom, do a reading for me about tomorrow!" I couldn't in that moment, but this morning I agreed to pull a card for her. Each time we ask her how she feels, and if she's sad, she says, "Well I'm really excited for next year!! But I am gonna miss my friends and teachers!" We remind her that she can see her friends over the summer, and encourage her to copy down phone numbers so they can make plans to see each other. Some of these friends will go to her new high school, but not everyone (including her big 8th grade crush, which she's particularly upset about).  So I shuffled my new Gaian Tarot, and as I went to select her card, I had one of those moments where you just *know* what the card is even before you turn it over:

5 of Water - Gaian Tarot
Joanna Powell Colbert

My daughter had wandered off down the hall, so I called to her to let her know I'd finished her draw. I showed her the card and she said "Oh my god, that's me!!" And I said "Yes - I asked 'how does Isa feel about her last day of school?' and this is what came up. Kinda perfect, don't you think?" She agreed. And moments like this are some of those that highlight how deeply grateful I am to be a card reader, because sometimes all you need is confirmation of how you're really feeling - the permission to be bummed out without being apologetic for it, or minimizing it. She smiled and we chatted a bit about her thoughts, and then she ran off to get ready for school.

This version of the 5 of Cups, or 5 of Water, is one of my favorites of all time because it's so real. There is no real symbolism in this card, apart from the gray skies. The young woman gazes across the lake or bay, solemn and withdrawn. She's holding a hot mug of steaming tea, and really sitting with - experiencing - her melancholy. We've all been there at some point or another. We don't need to see the three spilt cups to get the idea that there's sadness here, nor do we need to see two cups standing in order to understand that this feeling won't last forever. And rather than putting a silver lining on the sense of mourning by reminding ourselves that "this too shall pass," it's nice to be allowed to honor that "space," even if only for a moment.

So I wish my daughter a wonderful, comforting last day of middle school, full of hugs, laughter, and friends' numbers. May she find strength in letting go, and joy in the road ahead!

Drawing the World

It's been a long time since I've posted a daily draw, but today felt like a good day for it. It's Memorial Day and everyone's home (no work, no school). The sun is shining and it's gearing up to be a fairly hot and humid day, perfect for watching the little ones throw themselves down the long length of slip-n-slide in the back yard later. Our second radish was pulled from the ground yesterday by Isabella, and ended up in our dinner salad (what a lovely flavor!). The tomato plants are beginning to show some small blossoms, promising fruit to come soon. I mowed part of the lawn yesterday, but Jorge and I agreed to leave a patch of wildflowers along the back fence for the bees.

So with all this nurturing earth energy on my mind, it was so fitting to have drawn XXI Gaia the World, from the Gaian Tarot by Joanna Powell Colbert! She's layered many symbols in this card: Tibetan prayer flags, cleansing herbs, the butterfly, four creatures representing the four elements and directions (traditionally this depicts the four fixed astrological signs). And there is the Earth being embraced by the goddess Gaia at the heart of it all.

A card of completion, coming full circle, synthesis and integration, this card calls me to ponder what cycles in my life are reaching this stage at this moment….

This morning my youngest daughter was considering what she wanted to have for breakfast when she suddenly squealed, "It's the first day of the last week of school!!" She and my older daughter have just two short days of school left before officially beginning summer vacation, and they're so excited. My older daughter, Isabella, is finishing middle school and will be heading off to high school in just a few months. Talk about transition! It seems like yesterday that she was exhilarated to be a new sixth grader, feeling the prestige of a new label of "middle schooler," and suddenly that chapter is closing and a new, important one is on the cusp of being born. My younger daughter has had a great year in first grade, and has really adored her teacher, Ms. S. I thought it would be bittersweet for her as she brought home all of her tools and notebooks after clearing out her desk, but she's excited to be moving up to second grade. She loves school, and can't wait to see what's next.

Thus our house-cycle is coming to a close, as well. Most parents will agree that the true "New Year" is when the school year comes to an end. That's when things really change! The kids are at home every day (or at camp), so in important ways the subtle rhythms of life alter. In a few weeks' time we'll be driving our kids to their grandparents' house several states away, dropping them off to spend a month, enjoying an assortment of adventures.

The heavens are also coming full circle. Just this morning I was gazing out the kitchen window and noticed the sunlight shining through a patch of bushes along the east side of the back yard. I remember blogging about this last year, because the sun's position only allows for this to happen for a short time each year, usually right around late-May to late-June - Litha time. The sunlight seems to create a temporary door, like a portal to another dimension. It only lasts for perhaps 30 minutes, early each morning, before disappearing again, and I look forward to seeing it as I go through the motions of making my morning coffee.

Even with divination I'm experiencing a full circle. It was about this time last year that I leapt into professional reading and blogging about that journey. It's been a wonderful, rewarding year of reading for people all across the planet, exploring a wide variety of decks, jumping into Lenormand study, and joining in an international divination community which has provided endless opportunities to learn, share, and network. It's affirming that the close of this divination year should be punctuated by my experience as a guest on Christiana's Psychic Café - and that the show should air on International Tarot Day! It was almost a year ago, as well, that I joined the Tarot Blog Hop circle, and it's just now that I'm no longer "just" a participant, but a "wrangler" as well, for this June's Litha hop.

Finally, it's been a year of unexpected and important spiritual growth and awakening for me. I'm not a Wicca practitioner (though I suppose I practice some sort of "craft") but when I dove so intently and intentionally back into my spiritual practice last year, I held in my mind and heart the idea of "a year and a day" of study. My year and a day is almost up, and I find myself reviewing what I've learned, how it has impacted me on a variety of different levels, and how I will continue and build on this work moving forward. I hadn't thought of celebrating this in any way, but maybe, just maybe, I will.

Thoth, Reversals, and Divinatory Sustenance

The Crowley Thoth deck is amazing. What took me so long to work with it? Throwing all nay-sayers to the wind, I purchased this pack of cards on a whim a little over a month ago, and I’m so very happy that I did.

I’m blown away by the art. Each card is a masterpiece of symbolism, color, shape and symmetry. I’ve never seen a more exquisite Ace of Disks, with so much texture and flow. No, the minors don’t feature scenes (no people, houses, activities) but the cards speak quite clearly all the same, as the artwork is extremely expressive – it may simply be a different dialect than one would experience with other decks (especially of the RWS tradition).

Thoth Ace of Disks (Crowley/Harris)

I’d read so much about not using reversals with the Thoth deck – if anything, elemental dignities should be employed. I’ve experimented with EDs for the past year or so, and while I do find them useful and interesting, I don’t find them more useful than reversals – though I often observe the influences of both within a single reading. Perhaps someday the EDs will make so much sense that I’ll toss out reversals altogether (or perhaps not!), but for now I enjoy the rich depth that reversals give to readings – so why stop now?

So yes, I’m saying it here and now, with no shame whatsoever: I use reversals with the Thoth deck, and it works splendidly!

And why shouldn’t it? The concept of reversals is vast and inclusive in its use: we’re not talking about strictly applying the opposite meaning to a reversed card – it’s far more elegant than that. It may suggest that the card’s energy is obstructed, covert, slow, new, suppressed, fading, muted, or overpowering. Caitlin Matthews wrote a couple of blog posts regarding the use of reversals (click here to access her first post) in reference to the Wildwood Tarot, and this kind of system is applicable to really any Tarot deck you use (per your personal preference, naturally).

Once I allowed myself to release the external pressure of “no reversals with Thoth!!” I could actually open up to the deck and dive right in. And I’m loving it!

When I started working with the New Orleans Voodoo Tarot (another cherished deck) I started to really consider the beauty of the 10 Sephirot and how they interact with each other. The Voodoo Tarot is very much its own deck (meaning it doesn’t closely follow any particular tradition, per se) but the creator, Sallie Ann Glassman, did draw quite a bit from Crowley’s Book of Thoth and Jewish mysticism, and my work with that deck has drawn me into the wonderful, nourishing sustenance of Kabbalah’s relationship to divination. My work with the Thoth is increasing, enriching and expanding my awareness and application of this relationship.  Good stuff!

Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot/US Games

If you’re considering this deck but are put off by a few seemingly different card meanings – don’t be.  Crowley’s Thoth simply presents another perspective on similar energy. For example, in the RWS tradition we tend to see the 7 of Pentacles as a positive card. It’s about patience, review, recalibration, and continued efforts to achieve a goal. The Thoth 7 of Disks carries the keyword “failure” and shows a depressing gray landscape that brings to mind rot and putrefaction.  Yikes? They seem like such different meanings, but in reality the core essence is quite similar. The 7 of Disks is about putting a lot of effort into something but not seeing immediate results. Patience is still highlighted here. It’s about working hard, and finding that perhaps the effort you expend outweighs the fruits of your labor. What can you do differently? What can be tweaked or adjusted, or should you choose a different route altogether? These are some questions you might ask yourself if you pull the 7 of Disks – and when you think about the 7 of Pentacles, there really isn’t a significant difference in essence – only in presentation.

7 of Disks, Thoth Tarot (Crowley/Harris)

This is only an example, and I’m not prepared to do a complete analysis of the differences and similarities between RWS and Thoth in this post. But I do want to encourage anyone who may be avoiding the Thoth deck due to some of these elements to give it a chance!  Don’t take it at face value (especially not the keywords) – be prepared to go far beneath the surface, and you’ll find a wealth of knowledge, information and depth that will nurture your divinatory practice.

As I originally mentioned (and clearly feel the need to mention again!), the artwork alone took my breath away. I opened the deck and spent an hour flipping from card to card admiring the beauty and perfection of the images. I laughed to myself at one point because I was so utterly moved that I suddenly felt compelled to sing its praises from the hilltops…..as if no one had ever heard of, or come to appreciate, this deck! Ha ha ha. I do believe that this deck is undervalued in some circles, but in general it’s overwhelmingly well respected, and sits as a critical Tarot system for a reason.

I’m profoundly enjoying my study and work with the Thoth deck, and am looking forward to the unfolding journey of delving even deeper into its many layers.

I’d love to hear about your personal experience with this deck – please share with me in the comments below!

Doing the Work

Divination can be a very powerful catalyst for change. Through this medium we can learn more about ourselves and gain insights into important areas of our lives, can come to understand how our decisions impact our environment, and can prepare ourselves to confront the varying ways that our paths may unfold before us. This can be extremely empowering and meaningful.

But laying out the cards is the easy part. There is a saying: "It's easier said than done," and I find myself at times playing those words through my mind, and even sometimes speaking them aloud to my clients. I love doing readings that empower people to confront important decisions, to take responsibility for their role in their own lives, and ultimately to become happier, healthier, more spiritually balanced human beings. But I can't do the work for anyone else. At best I lay the cards, speak the story, and hope that my clients then find a way to manifest it in a manner that works most effectively for them (and I'm always happy to help them brainstorm those manners if they so desire).

Photo credit: Jorge D'Strades

I encourage all those seeking wisdom from any oracle to ask themselves if they're willing to do the work necessary to embody the message they receive. Identifying areas for growth and development can be done quite effectively, but that's just the first step. There's another saying: "Knowing is half the battle." It's good to know, but it's not enough. Acting on that knowledge is the hard part, and it's the critical step. To make the most of your reading, be willing to consider the steps you can take to address your core concerns, and be sure that the focus is always on yourself - what you can do, what you can nurture, what you can change, what you can impact, what you can release.

Make a plan of action, even if your to-do list is short and simple. It's a start! Don't overcomplicate the matter, feeling that if you don't see results immediately then you may as well give up. You might compare it to losing weight: you know you need to lose 50 pounds, and that if you do so you'll improve your overall health and well-being. If you try to "go big" and hit the gym six days a week, and cut out all fats and carbs, you'll last about a week and then throw in the towel. It's not sustainable, nor is it fair to you. So you start small. When you feel like munching, you grab the carrot sticks and dressing rather than a bag of chips. When you're feeling sleepy you take a stroll around the block instead of a nap. You don't change your diet radically, but you might start to take smaller portions at each meal. And little by little the weight starts to come off, and you might even find that those little changes feel really good, even if they're a bit uncomfortable at first, and healthier choices become your innate preference rather than a mindful action.

So don't let your reading become an entry in your journal that you never look at, or a distant memory, or an email that gets lost in your inbox. Use it as a blueprint for manifesting a more positive path forward, tack it on your fridge, make it your computer wallpaper, post it on your bathroom mirror….use it!

The Lenormand Journey

I've been studying Lenormand for a while now, and I'm really enjoying it. I remember (not oh so long ago) when I first began this journey of learning and I wasn't so sure this system was for me. Tarot (and some forms of Oracle) were what I knew, and the first few 3-card spreads I did really boggled my mind. For a short time I wondered if I'd ever start finding meaning in these cards, using this method. But I kept trying, and slowly they started to come to life for me. It was a pretty awesome experience that first time I laid down a row of cards that actually made sense! Doing 3-card daily draws was probably the best leg up because I could start to puzzle together what they had to say about a finite period of immediate time. All of my daily draws were making sense, and it was a great boost to my self-confidence. But, as with all things learned, there are rises, plateaus, stumbles, and little falls before continuing the ascent.

Once I heard, or read, someone's words about the process of acquiring new knowledge - that the more you learn, the more you realize you don't know about whatever the subject matter happens to be. I'm a language teacher, so this fits in nicely both with the topic of learning in general, and the topic of Lenormand, as it's often called a "language-based" system. When learning a language, a student feels very confident after learning basic conversational skills. They can suddenly "get around" in Japanese (or German, or Spanish, or Portuguese) and they can understand simple exchanges with a native speaker. They have a sharp sense of progress. As they continue to absorb language they're exposed to increasingly wider arrays of vocabulary, contexts, grammar, syntax, and paralanguage (which includes the meaning behind a speaker's use of pitch or intonation). Suddenly they start forgetting vocabulary words they used to know, or grammar structures that they never had problems with before. They become upset with themselves, feeling that they're drowning in language, that they're cycling backward instead of forward. They realize that language learning is actually a complex and challenging feat to master. This is where some people drop out of the language learning game, and others stick it out and keep working. It's the proverbial "line in the sand." The people who thought language learning was a fun and novel activity go back to the comfort and safety of their first language(s), quickly forgetting what bits of their new language they had once learned. The second group forges ahead, sometimes feeling foolish, confused and shy. But they aren't truly drowning, or forgetting - they're simply assimilating an increasingly large body of information into something they can manage and work with. That's quite a process! They've climbed to the top of the hill only to find that from their new vantage point they can see a whole mountain range ahead. Bit by bit they learn-acquire-absorb-produce and stumble on. The shift is so subtle they often don't even realize it's happening. They start communicating with more clarity, with a wider range of words, and more complex grammatical structures. Their slow speech evens out and starts to flow more smoothly. Sometimes they don't realize how far they've come until people start to comment on how well they're doing, or they listen to a recorded file of their conversational abilities from months past, and realize how "funny" they sound ("I can't believe I SAID that!!! That was so wrong!"). But these are milestones on the path of the true, dedicated student. It's not always pretty, it's definitely not easy, and sometimes you wonder if you'll ever make it to the top of the mountain. The good news is that you will.

I know this, but that doesn't mean it helps me on my own journey all that much. That path I just described is the path of all learners of any subject matter. For divination, those milestones might be the point when your clients or family members tell you just how dead-on and scarily accurate your reading was (or you yourself realize that same fact), or when you look back at your own journal and wonder how you ever could have thought that Cross-Clouds was a beautiful combination!

I know I'm continually getting better. Things start to make sense to me without having to slowly piece each card together with the one beside it (though I still do that sometimes). I've experienced some "scarily accurate" readings that have in all seriousness almost scared me with their precision (click here to read about a couple such readings!). I love Lenormand, and my goal is to become skilled enough with the system that I start to offer it in addition to Tarot readings. But damn, it ain't easy, and in those brief, periodic flashes when I feel like I've blown it (which is usually vastly out of proportion to the actual inconsistency of my interpretation) I start to wonder if I'll ever truly "get it."

So what did I do? Naturally, I pulled a Lenormand line of 5 about my future as a Lenormand reader!

Kendra's Vintage Petit Lenormand

Letter - Path - House - Bouquet - Mirror/Moon

This is Kendra's Vintage Petit Lenormand, the landscape version (I won it in a drawing, and I think I got one of the last copies!). I had to overlap the cards as they're so long, and if you're a Lenormand reader you might notice that Mirror is certainly not a traditional card. This is why there are two cards in position 5!

So this is what I understand from this line: Indecision regarding cards (Lenormand) stabilizes and becomes a gift that enhances my own self-confidence as well as my career.

Well okay, that looks promising! Letter (in this case "Postcard") also represents cards, and Path is about a decision that needs to be made. Path also signifies…. a path, or journey! So I can also read this as "the path of the cards" which is pretty much right on…. hence the title of this blog post. It's important to remember that Lenormand (as with all systems) is truly a path, with all its ups and downs, mistakes and accomplishments. Fool energy.

The House is my anchor card, which is nice to see as it represents stability and support (fitting for an anchor card!). The card journey begins to take shape, take on a structure, and (in a less-Lenormand-like poetic sense) become like a home. The Bouquet is like the fruits of my labor - the benefit of putting in the hard work, taking the hits, and staying in the Game (of Hope :-D ). This gift enhances how I see myself (Mirror) as well as how others see me (Moon) in regard to this card system (both end cards mirror Letter/Postcard). Crossroads-Bouquet also suggests a positive outcome to my decision to stay on this journey.

I could go into more detail probably, but that's pretty much the gist of it. It's nice to see the Bouquet-Moon ending, and it's much appreciated on a day when I'm feeling a bit lost at sea….

Lenormand-Ho!

The journey continues!  And I'm not sure I'm gonna like it!!!!

My husband surprised me with Ciro Marchetti's Gilded Reverie Lenormand yesterday. It was pretty cool, really.  I've been wanting to enter the world of Lenormand card reading for a while now, thanks primarily to Chloe McCracken.  She's currently in the process of creating a Celtic Lenormand, with Will Worthington, and as she is the one to start my thinking about "Lennies," and because I love Will Worthington's artwork, my plan was to wait until this deck is released…alas as fate would have it, Ciro's deck has been bestowed upon me, and it looks like the journey has begun a bit earlier than I'd intended!

So I've been following Lenormand study groups on Facebook, and I've spent time reading up on various websites to get a feel for how to work with these cards. For any who are unfamiliar with them, they are another method of cartomancy but very different from Tarot. They have a more linguistic structure complete with nouns and adjectives and verbs.  If you want more information than that you'll have to do a Google search, because this is all totally new territory for me!

So I decided to throw out a series of three cards last night as a "day ahead" forecast. I won't lie. I was stumped and went to bed with more or less "WTF" flowing through my mind the entire night (yes, I spent the entire night with some portion of my mind trying to work out the meaning of those three cards!!!)  Needless to say, I am really tired today!  So here they are:

Gilded Reverie Lenormand/Ciro Marchetti - US Games

Clouds (6) + Rider (1) + Crossroad (22)

Well, they certainly are pretty!!! So after a lot of puzzling this is the best I could come up with:

Uncertain news leads to a choice?

Promising news leads to a decision?

Interesting news leads to new options?

The fact that clouds are darker to the left and lighter towards the right seems promising.  I feel very confident as a Tarot reader, but boy these Lennies are making me feel like a wee bitty babe! :) Which I love, because it's a cool challenge to explore!  If any Lenormand readers wants to weigh in on these three cards, please do! 

I haven't received any news yet today but I'll keep my eyes open! I suppose that, as it's a daily read, it will probably be a mundane choice, like… plastic grocery bags, or paper!  I will keep you posted…. 

Using the Cards for Yes/No Questions

I would say that, in general, I'm more a fan of using Tarot for gaining deeper insights into the variety of situations in which we encounter ourselves in life.  Using Tarot to provide guidance, to highlight major energies or themes that influence us and the decisions we make. Sometimes to take a look at where our current paths our leading us.  But yes/no questions?  Not so much.

Deviant Moon Tarot
Patrick Valenza, US Games 2008

I know that a lot of people have differing opinions on this, and some are very much in favor, while others feel it's a poor use of this sacred tool.  So I decided to experiment.

You could do an Internet search for this topic and find numerous blogs and websites that will give you 82 different ways to determine the answer to a yes or no question using the cards.  Some are very simple: pick a card, and if it's upright the answer is yes, if it's reversed, the answer is no. Some are more complicated: select three cards, and if the majority are upright or reversed, there is your answer! But if it's a Pentacle instead of a Wand it might be a maybe!  Well, you get the idea, anyway. Some people reserve special decks for yes/no questions, or won't consider the influence of the Major Arcana at all. I find that if it seems too complicated, it probably is.

Deviant Moon Tarot
Patrick Valenza - US Games 2008

I use reversals, so to me the easiest way to test out yes/no questions is to draw a single card.  If it's upright, then it's yes, and if it's reversed, then no.  I also would consider the message of the card itself for additional information about the energies involved. Clearly in order to test this out it's necessary to ask a question whose answer can be determined in a relatively short period of time (and I would not test this out on a client, preferring to use my own life as the guinea pig).

I decided to ask if I would hear from a friend in the next 7 days.  This is a friend I normally don't keep in close contact with, though we've known each other for many years, and it's been more than six months since our last conversation.  Now I felt that this would be an obvious "no." So I asked a formal yes/no question: "Will I hear from this friend within the next 7 days?" I shuffled and cut and…

Deviant Moon Tarot
Patrick Valenza - US Games 2008

...the first card I pulled was the Magician, upright. Well that certainly looked pretty "yes-ish." I peeked at the next card, which was Strength, also upright.  Hm. Another strong "yes" card. Just to be absolutely SURE, I looked at the card below Strength, which was the King of Swords, upright.  Really?  I glanced at the card at the bottom of the deck: King of Wands, upright. Well okay, apparently my cards were saying - no, screaming - YES!!!! But I didn't feel like it would be a yes.  So I thought, "This will be a showdown between my reason and my cards. Let's see what happens!"

King of Wands - Deviant Moon Tarot
Patrick Valenza - US Games 2008

So I put my cards away after having documented those that I'd drawn and my thoughts about the whole thing.  And I went to bed.  I woke up the next morning at 6:30am and grabbed my phone for my morning ritual of Facebook-News-Weather-Time, and noticed that I had an email, too. When I opened my inbox what did I find?  A message from my friend.

So what did I learn from this?  Just maybe I can use my cards for yes/no questions after all.  Now if I'm going to be sciency about it (which I am) I'll be doing many more of these little experiments to see what happens, how things feel, how things turn out, what subtle nuances come across, and how to understand and interpret them in the context of this sort of concrete, straight-forward question. I'm not going to take this show on the road anytime soon, but I am at least open to exploring this "other" reading technique….. :)

The Best Way to Learn Tarot?

I read a series of comments on a Facebook forum the other day where this was the topic of debate: "What is the best way to teach or learn Tarot?"

The funny thing is that each person has a different way of learning, and I truly don't believe that there is only one, best way to do anything at all, really.  The only thing that I do feel applies to all things one might learn in life, is that to truly understand it, you have to do it.

When I learned Tarot I studied the cards incessantly for quite a long time. I approached it almost as if I were taking an independent study course. I thought that I needed to memorize all the potential card meanings, and I took the "flash card" approach which I know that many people tend to do.  I used a deck that had unillustrated pips (Minor Arcana, excluding the Courts) so I had no images to help me understand anything at all.  I kept detailed notes, I went through the Minors by number (first all the 2s, then the 3s, etc). I would randomly quiz myself to see how many keywords I could remember for each card.  Later I did something similar when I decided to study reversals.

Now this is not a "bad" way of learning, but I don't think it's the best way either.  Tarot as flashcards don't give depth or breadth to a story, and are rather sterile.  It takes experience doing many readings to learn how to weave a story together, and understand the subtle ways that card meanings change depending on context.  Later I read a book called Psychic Tarot, by Nancy Antenucci, and her first step to learning the cards was not to study the meanings, rather to sit with each card and figure out what it means to *you.* How does it make you feel?  What do the images and details say about what the card might signify?  Not having "book meanings" stored in your mind allows so much more freedom when it comes to exploring your personal relationship with Tarot - it's much more organic. And each reader truly has their own, unique, highly personal relationship with the art of Tarot. I found myself wishing that I hadn't memorized all the meanings, and felt I'd robbed myself of this potentially very rich way of starting the learning process. By starting with memorization, it was more of a challenge to let my intuition "speak," because if it was telling me something that didn't jive with the traditional meanings, I hesitated to give it credence.

Later I took an Intuitive Tarot course which was invaluable to me.  I brought my Rider Waite deck because, knowing nothing about how Tarot courses run, I assumed it would probably be best to bring the old traditional stand-by, even though it's not my go-to.  The instructor surprised me in a very pleasant way, and said "if the deck doesn't speak to you, don't use it."  Why bother working with a deck that you don't connect with?  Now I do read just fine with my Rider Waite, but no, it's not my favorite.  The images can be pretty, but they don't necessarily touch those deeper chords in my soul. She also said "if you want book meanings, use the internet. This class is about developing your intuitive understanding of the cards. So no notepads are necessary - we won't be covering anything traditional."

**So what's the point of your Tarot journey?  Do you want to take an intellectual approach? An intuitive approach? Do you want to become a Tarot scholar? Do you want to simply give accurate readings for other people or for yourself?**

One of the women in the course I took was terrified of learning the cards. She had purchased the Rider Waite out of the assumption that it would be required (much the same reason I had brought mine to the first class). She felt her memory was poor and didn't think she had what it would take to be able to work with alllll those 78 cards.  She *almost* quit after the first day, but decided to give it one more chance, and by the end of those six sessions she was giving wonderful, accurate readings.  Had she memorized meanings? No. Did she study the deeper significance of Rider Waite symbols?  No. What she was doing was using a deck that appealed to her, that drew her in, that "spoke" to her, and that engaged her intuition (like the instructor, she was using the Halloween Tarot by Karin Lee and Kipling West).  It was wonderful to observe, and made me, yet again, wish I'd done things the other way around.

Once you learn the meanings, you can't unlearn them.  And truth be told, I'm glad I know them.  But I  had to work harder to detach from book meanings in order to let my intuition tell me what it needed me to know.  Fortunately I now feel I have a great balance between the two styles, and feel comfortable working in this manner.

Regardless of why you want to learn Tarot, I think a great way to start is to leave the books alone, and start by developing personal meanings based on your own feelings about the images and colors in each card, and by using a deck that you love.  You can, indeed, perform excellent readings based only on your intuitive connection to the cards in your deck.  Later, of course you can deepen and expand your knowledge by studying what the books have to say, and learning about traditional symbols that are featured in decks like the Rider Waite (and as this deck is the focus of so many books, you don't have to own the deck in order to learn them - it still provides background knowledge that can influence your own readings with a non-Rider Waite deck). That said, there are so many Rider Waite clones out there, you may well find a deck that you absolutely love that reflects many of the scenes and symbols in the Rider Waite deck, but that at least features a theme or world-view you hold sacred, or that you simply like to look at.  So if you like fairies, go for it!  If you're into vampires, I'm sure you can find something that sits right with you.

Tarot never stop teaches you new things, and there is never a lack of other people's material that you can peruse.  You experiment, read books, find out what you like and what you don't, what works for you and what doesn't.  What decks you like and which you don't care for. You read, and read, and read the cards more, which is the only real way to integrate your understanding, and to open new doors.

There's no "best" way, but the way I would recommend is to start off intuitively. Spend time feeling out each card using a deck you adore, and try giving readings to yourself/friends/family based on what the cards say to you, before you know what they are "supposed" to mean, and see how you do.  Later on you can dive into more formal study, and explore the millions of avenues of esoteric learning that are available to you, per your interests, desires, and motivations.

Wildwood 8 of Vessels: Rebirth and the Cycle of Life

The Wildwood 8 of Vessels is the counterpart of the more traditional 8 of Cups in the Rider-Waite deck.  The traditional meaning usually suggests the pain in realizing that what you’ve worked to build may not be what will ultimately satisfy you.  It relates to feelings of disillusionment, and the desire for "something" more. Thus it speaks of moving on, leaving something behind (a relationship, an emotional attachment, a special project) and starting a journey.  The journey doesn’t necessarily have a clear destination or end-point.  In fact in many more traditional cards, the moon shines above, illuminating a path that leads through mountainous terrain; the journey is full of mystery and perhaps the traveler will stumble along the way…..and yet the journey is necessary.  There is a touch of mourning that comes with realizing that it’s time to move along, so the card is not without some sadness.

Wildwood Tarot
John Matthews, Mark Ryan, Will Worthington
Sterling Ethos, 2011

In the Wildwood 8 of Vessels we see a scene that is quite different from the traditional: a great vessel overflowing with water hangs suspended above a pond, with three smaller vessels pouring into it.  Below, four more small vessels sit along the edges of the water, receiving the overflow from the suspended vessels above, and in turn releasing their own excess into the stream that flows out from the pond.  The keyword on the card is “rebirth.”  This scene embodies many of the same understandings as the traditional 8 of Cups, but the message is encapsulated by the natural cycle of water.  In this image, the pond is simply a temporary pooling place for water heading from its past into its future.  It gathers for a while, but it can’t stay.  Once movement is extracted from the water cycle, it begins to stagnate (which in fact is the core meaning of the Thoth 8 of Cups “indolence”).  Stagnation means that growth ceases, the water becomes tainted.  And this is precisely what happens when we overstay our time in a relationship, in a particular phase of life, in a job we’ve spent time and energy nurturing and are afraid to let go of (and the list goes on). Release is necessary for rebirth, and rebirth is necessary for our spiritual and emotional health.  Rebirth is not supposed to be comfortable, but it always carries us forward to experience new things, to help us continue to bloom as human beings.  Rebirth is a never-ending part of the cycle of life, what ultimately gives depth and richness to each year that goes by.

Tuning in to Spirit Energy

This past Tuesday was my second-to-last Intuitive Tarot class, and it’s been wonderful.  It’s really been far more than anything I could have expected or hoped for. This particular class presented some unique elements.  I thought several times about posting it here on my blog, but ultimately decided to go for it. Crossing my fingers, now...!

Tuesday night we did a phone reading for Suzanne’s (the instructor) friend in another state.  It went well.  One card that popped up for her was the King of Vessels, and as we were chatting about who that was, she asked me if I could tell her what his occupation was.  She then apologized because she knew it might be too challenging of a question (not based on the cards, but more of a psychic reading). I told her it was okay, and I calmed my mind and I had impressions of business, and of something related to architecture.  It was kind of hard to pick apart so I went with “business.”  Turns out that this guy owned his own business doing roofing!  So at the end of the reading Suzanne asked her friend to go ahead and ask me (and the other student) any questions she might have, and the three of us (teacher and two students) tuned in and explained what we felt.  She asked us to tell us about her son, and without going into specific detail, I will say that I had both mental impressions and physical sensations that came through, and were validated.  She asked a question about her daughter, and about some property, and the same process occurred – I received pretty clear feelings and impressions about what was going on, and my instructor and her friend were able to confirm and validate those things (as well as the other student!).  It was truly interesting, and enlightening.  I had never tried to do this kind of thing before, and really have never considered it – the focus has always been the cards, though I know there are readers who do mainly psychic readings, supported by cards (rather than vice-versa).

Halloween Tarot
Karin Lee, Kipling West
U.S. Games, 1996

So after the call we were chatting, and I asked about how one develops mediumship or channeling (my instructor is a psychic-medium). I told her that several nights before, I had tapped into my husband’s brother who had passed on quite a few years ago, and had done a reading/message for Jorge.  I was surprised by the sadness I felt as I was doing it, the sense of regret that I got while I was reading – his brother was devastated that he didn’t have the chance to say goodbye.  She said, “Well if you successfully tapped into a passed person’s energy and were able to pass on a message, you’re a medium!”  And I sort of sat there, mouth agape.  I had simply figured that since our energies don’t disappear when we die, tapping into anyone’s energy, whether living or not, should be possible – and I found that it was.  I did not consider that to be a medium experience, because my image of a medium is someone openly communicating – “chatting” if you will – with someone who has departed.

So I asked her how to further develop those skills, if it’s even possible.  She said that you can take classes, but those are usually for helping people develop the ability to open the channel.  If you are already open, then it’s all about practice.  She said that if I ask willing people to help tap into their loved ones, I could practice that way.  Then suddenly she said, “Tap into my mother,” and gave me her mother’s name.  It was very on-the-spot, but I tried.  I thought of her mother and her name, and I opened up to her.  I slowly started to get an image of a lady…but I had no idea what to do with the energy, and I just sat there.  So Suzanne said “Tell me about her personality.”  So I started to tell her what I was seeing and feeling, including a strong impression of her mother’s feelings about her own life, and Suzanne said, “YES.”  She asked me to tell her how her mother died, so I focused again and had some impressions, and I passed those on to her, and she confirmed that. It was kind of wild.  Suzanne said, “See? You did it, and you can do it!”  Then she gave me some advice on how to approach working with mediumship, and I just sat there with all of that – the experience and the information – and just….sat.

We ended class by doing readings for each other, and my classmate pondered her 4 of Ghosts from the Halloween Tarot, and said, “You have a lot of people (spirits) waiting to talk to you once you start paying attention!”  Thank you, intuitive reading, for that interesting take on this card.  And yet it felt right.  And yet (again), above it all, I’m still kind of gently blown away by it all, still pondering, curious, and at the same time....kinda ready for this journey…

8 Pentacles: Improving Your Craft

When I first started down the Tarot path I did a 3-card reading for myself regarding the potential to turn my craft into a career some day.  I pulled: The Queen of Pentacles, the Princess of Pentacles, and the 8 of Pentacles.  I found it a beautiful and very encouraging sign that I was walking down the right path - it was a lovely confirmation from the universe.

The 8 of Pentacles is about taking your talent or passion and working hard to turn it into your life.  It's about understanding that success isn't immediate, and you have to dedicate yourself to your task and to your craft in order to improve it.  Taking a class, reading books, practicing, networking, studying, the list goes on.  And if you truly understand what learning is all about, you realize that you never "know it all" - there are always more layers to unfold, and ways to go deeper.

So I decided to sign up for a course (as mentioned in yesterday's post) on "intuitive" Tarot. The title of the course was funny to me, since all Tarot is intuitive (though I suppose there are "cold readers" who may not engage their intuition as much, but I digress).  But I'd been curious about the instructor, a local psychic-medium who seemed very down-to-earth and wise.  I thought she'd be a wonderful person to work with and learn from.  Well, my other 3-card reading (about whether I should take the course - I got Hanged Man, Queen of Cups, 6 Wands) told me to go for it, and I went for it, and after my first evening I was not disappointed.  The instructor is the very embodiment of the Queen of Cups, and the focus is on really going into the cards - not the traditional meanings we all know and understand, but what each card "says" to you, even if that may stray from more intellectual understandings.  That is precisely what I was hoping for.

Radiant Rider-Waite Tarot
(US Games)

Cards speak deeply and loudly, most especially if the deck you're working with is the right fit for you.  If the images mesh with your soul, you get a lot more out of readings.  My most intuitive, in-depth readings have been with the DruidCraft and Wildwood Tarot, whose themes and artwork resonate with me at a fundamental level.  Don't get me wrong - I love my other decks, and enjoy reading with them.  The Rider Waite and Morgan Greer are great working decks, and have a special place in my heart.  But for those moments that leave the ordinary and venture into psychic-land, I find the tool that helps bring me there are those two aforementioned decks.

So last night, after spending quite a while "going into the cards" we did short readings for each other.  The woman who read for me was great.  She is just beginning her journey, and has not formulated strong associations with any of the cards yet.  I chose three cards and when she turned them over they were: 5 Pentacles, 10 Pentacles, 8 Pentacles.  Ah, the lovely 8 Pentacles makes an appearance again, at the precise setting that the original 8 of Pentacles had pushed me toward!  What I loved most was her interpretation of 5 Pentacles.  This can often be kind of a downer card - yes, there is light coming through the window, and the understanding that all things are temporary, etc.  But the main focus is on being shut out, not having enough (attention or money), struggling to make ends meet, etc.  Not having these associations, her interpretation was based solely on the images on her fairy-themed deck.  She said "I think this card is saying that in the past you had a lot of resources around you, but you didn't see them or recognize that they were there for you."  Brilliant.  The materials were always there, you just didn't see them, or know how to tap into them.  It was a beautiful take on a challenging card.

So 8 Pentacles.  The journey never stops.  All of us are eternal students, and taking advantage of opportunities to deepen and expand our craft is not only good practice professionally, but makes our experience richer and more profound and rewarding as well.

Diving Head-On into Reversals

After all my whining and pondering and uncertainty I've gone gung-ho into use of reversals. I had been keeping only the DruidCraft for that, but now all my decks are mixed up.  It all came about when I settled in to do my first stranger-reading.  I shuffled and dealt a few cards and then stared, blankly.  I could see meaning in there sort of but I realized that in order to get a really clear picture of this person's situation I needed to use reversals.  Since then I've been slowly studying them as they come up in spreads, learning potential (book) meanings as well as what they mean to me.  Seeing how their presence brings issues into sharp relief.  People argue over the relevance of reversals, and I see both sides.  But at this point I feel they give so much more depth to readings.  Guess I've made that transition!

My readings have been going really well, and I just ordered the Radiant Rider Waite and the Wildwood.  And now I'm going to bed.

Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot