Goddesses of Empowerment

It is a time of many decks.

I don’t remember ever before being in the position to juggle (in the best sense possible) so many different manifestations of Tarot. Just in the last few months I’ve acquired – either through gift or purchase – the Cosmos Tarot and Oracle, the Dark Goddess Tarot, the Ancestral Path Tarot, the Fountain Tarot, the Tarot of the Holy Light, the Wild Unknown Tarot, and the Steampunk Tarot. Needless to say, I’ve got options. Not that I didn’t before – I haven’t counted lately, but prior to this new lot I had somewhere around 50 or 60 Tarot decks to choose from (not counting oracles). The difference is that I love every single one of these new acquisitions. There is not one that is underwhelming, or “not my style,” or just “nice.” There are no qualifications when I say that they are all wonderful. They all have a unique voice; they all draw me in and excite me with what they might show, and how they might show it.

This, of course, is a fantastic conundrum to be in (that of “which deck to use now?”), and I’ve thought several times recently that I could lose my entire collection, save these, and be quite fulfilled (well, I wouldn’t like to lose the New Orleans Voodoo, or my Thoth..! But you get the idea).

So over the past several weeks I have often found myself using one or two one day, and then switching it up the next. This way I am tasting them all, feeling them out in fairly regular intervals.

So it was that last night I decided to pull a card from the Ancestral Path Tarot – the Hermit – and immediately felt the relief of that simple reflection wash over me. In fact I had just leapt onto my bed for a much-needed (albeit brief) moment of alone time amidst what had been a busy-but-lovely Sunday. I drew the Hermit in the moment I was most aware of my need to embody that quiet, solitary energy.

This morning I decided to draw a guidance card from the Dark Goddess Tarot (this is such a rich, profound, wise, and moving set of cards) and I drew the Magician – Isis. This is my soul card (in terms of Tarot Birth Cards) and also one I’d drawn over the past several months as I moved through the change from my previous teaching position into one of departmental management. It all fit; it was as if the universe was saying: “This is you, it’s your time, you got this.” And here it was again.

I closed the previous week with an important meeting at which I provided a pile of evidence in support of a change that I knew needed to happen. I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be, but in the end the upper management team agreed with me and approved the change. I was walking on air (appropriate for the Magician!). I felt that I’d accomplished something that was as monumental as it was simple, and I was elated to have been able to pull it off. Today I will be sitting in another meeting where I will be explaining this change, and later this week I’ll be doing it yet again, so Isis was very welcome encouragement.  The guidebook for this deck reads:

“See what needs changing and step up to change it. Because you can. Energy is flowing through and around you now, available for you to shape and direct.”

It gave me shivers to read that. One thing that has been most satisfying for me as I walk this new path has been the ability to make positive change where I have seen the need for it for so long – change that benefits the faculty, the students, the program, and the school overall. It is extremely empowering, and there is a breath of liberation within that experience that I have not felt before quite in the same way.

I took a look at the bottom of the deck, and smiled at Baba Yaga, the Hermit, flying through the air in her mortar. It was a gentle reminder that I am still in Hermit-space, and that much of the work I’m able to do now has come from all of the time I’ve spent alone, gathering data, investigating, testing out my theories and making new discoveries. It’s funny because as I thought about my Hermit tendencies in relation to the workplace I recalled how I often call my office “the cave,” and when an instructor wishes to talk in private I often say, “Let’s do it, come into my cave!” The irony, of course, is that my office has no roof, and only three walls. The fourth wall is also a sliding door made entirely of transparent glass, which means that I’ve got a fish-bowl thing going on. Still, there is something to be said for boundaries, and these walls at least give me a designated space in which to sit alone, and a door that, while clear, can still be closed.

On the top of the deck I found Epona, embodying the 6 of Fire. When I made this rather large change last week I was nervous about what the global reaction would be. Would my team understand? A few that knew about it were supportive. I was very confident that they would all feel the same way after I presented the evidence, and yet I still battled some anxiety. Would a partner department be on board with it? It turns out that they are just as happy about it as I am, which was both a surprise and a tremendous relief. The 6 of Fire is not just “success” (though it is that, too). In the Dark Goddess Tarot it is about transformative work that comes about through caring leadership and working as part of a team. This is how I see myself – not as a boss, but as a leader, and honoring the role, value, and strengths of each member of my team is of utmost importance to me.  The guidebook reads:

“Sometimes it takes a herd. And a herd needs a strong, sensitive, balanced leader. Especially when the herd is not of docile sheep but swift, spirited horses.”

My “herd” (I’m not sure they’d appreciate that title, ha!) is most definitely the spirited type, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Accept the accolades, take in the blessings, and store that sunshine. Let it give you strength as you go forward.”

Experiences teach what instruction cannot. Often it is in the doing that the deepest learning takes place. I’m certainly “doing” these days. I don’t have a mold to fill, and every day presents new opportunities for growth and expansion. I will store this sunshine as I continue to walk my nebulous path that materializes with each step I take; and I am grateful.

The Golden Glow of Quiet

Life has been so busy lately that at times I find myself longing for a moment of quiet peace, a short measure of silence with my bóveda, a breath of communion. This morning was no different. I woke up, and after finally gathering the energy to move my body out of bed, my first feeling was one of, "I need space." I need space to sit and, rather than think, to let my mind be still.

As the coffee was brewing, I shuffled my Raven's Prophecy deck and pulled: Hermit.

I looked at it for a moment and just thought: Yes! Yes, to the Hermit in general.... but this depiction is so welcoming and precise in its reflection of what I hunger for: the golden glow of quiet. A lantern burns within the heart of an ancient tree, providing a secluded place, a protective and natural embrace.

This image reminds me of a book I cherished as a child, My Side of the Mountain, about a young boy who escapes into the hills and lives off the land on his own. He has a hawk companion, he learns to tan his own hides using the natural tannins in fallen oak trees, and he lives inside of a massive, hollowed-out tree. This is the kind of experience I always wanted to have as a kid, and I would lose myself in that story.

Now I am blessed with some new and wonderful opportunities in my life that also bring a higher level of "involvement" and attention and "noise." I don't have the choice to ignore it - it is my job to face it all head-on. And so it becomes even more important to intentionally carve out a space in my own proverbial sacred tree to steal away to from time to time, to recharge, release, and recenter.

Rising, Ever Rising

For day 12 of the Shadow Work October challenge, the task was to pull a card (or two, or three) on the following question:

What can't I accept about myself (and why)?

As I was shuffling, Judgement flew out of the deck at me, and I knew that it was the one. This is a card I really love in any deck, so I was immediately curious about what it would have to tell me. Turns out that it had quite a lot to say.

Tarot of Vampyres

My initial rumination: 

That life is a cycle of growth meant for learning and evolving, and that I don't owe anyone anything, not a single shred of guilt or shame. I'm allowed to release the past, to forgive myself and others, and move forward. I'm allowed to grow into who I am, into my calling, into my purpose, into my skin, fully and without apology. I'm allowed to rise again, and again, and again, and again. 

This pulled something from deep within me, and as I read over my own thoughts for the first time, I started to cry. It's funny, in a way. I love this card because of everything it represents: rebirth, evolution, heeding the call to our path, embracing who we are, truly. In many ways I feel I embody this. And yet it appeared as the thing that I can't accept, or don't allow myself to accept, about myself. And as I pondered, I knew it was true. In this image I see the vampire and the panther as my guides and support system. The moon above - my fears, doubts, uncertainties, the small hauntings in my subconscious Self - dissipate, are burned away by the fire of transformation. In the book, Ian Daniels writes that the vampire himself has just emerged from his grave. But when I see this card I see molten earth glowing, warning of my own impending emergence. He is there encouraging me, and awaiting me, as is the panther. The blood on his sword represents my old shell that he has done away with in order to make space for the new. 

There is a lot here. In what ways do I not allow myself to be reborn? In what ways do I shut down aspects of my own identity and growth in order to never create waves, in any way, for any reason? In what ways do I tell myself that I'm not enough, at least not yet? 

Judgement is a Trump of pure fire. Fire has been the overwhelming theme of late - embracing my own fire, and my personal power. Interestingly, all of this has brought up a lot of sadness for me. Some of it makes sense as I think about ways in which I've been limiting myself. But I can't figure out all of it - not yet. I pulled a card asking for the best way to process this sadness and out came:

The Hermit

Ah yes, of course! My friend, the Hermit, tells me that I've only just begun. In order to understand and come to be able to express the source of the sadness that has surfaced, I must keep digging. With my firebrand before me I must stride purposefully into the dark wood of my being. I love that there is a wolf here. As I was preparing the photo of Judgement, I felt an urge to include the bronze Viking wolf ring that my husband brought back to me as a gift from his time in Sweden. Viking and Norse lore, mythology, and culture form, in addition to Lukumí/Santería, an important aspect of my personal history, spiritual practice, and ancestor work, as much of the family on my father's side comes from Denmark and the small islands of the North Sea. I find great strength in the wolf, and it was strength I was looking for when I was drawn to include my ring in the photo. The wolf seems to have come to my aid here with the Hermit, assuring me that I'm not alone in my exploration. And when I've come through on the other side, there the black panther will be waiting. 

I had a lovely afternoon today with my husband and son, while our girls were in school. I was fortunate to have the day off, so we drove downtown and spent some time walking around the large lake there, filled with swans, ducks, ibises, and geese. As I watched a swan glide elegantly over the water I felt a sudden thirst for its energy - a soft-yet-sure, healing essence unique to this bird. I sat by the shore as one of them swam over, quietly watching me, asking for nothing, yet staying near all the same. 

On our way back home, we stopped by a local shop so that I could pick up a couple of stones that I am feeling drawn to use at this time: Morganite and Ruby.

A large piece of morganite, and a small ruby

As I work through this month, and this challenge, I often think back to the card I'd originally picked as representative of this month: 10 of Swords. A new word has surfaced for me in light of it: purging. I am airing out my heart and soul, cleansing, purging, examining and releasing like I never would have imagined I could do, or would even need to do. I'm amazed with what I've uncovered so far, and grateful that the journey has really only just begun.

The Hermit and the Gift of Transformation

It's been a long week, no doubt. Last week I pulled "Fulfillment" as part of my "week ahead" draw and while in the end I am not with my padrino celebrating tonight as I had planned, I am sitting here with my kids, enjoying a Corona with lime, having just filled my belly with a satisfying dinner prepared by my eldest child (recipe from a Harry Potter cookbook, no less!). My son is making funny faces and enjoying the laughter of his sisters. There is satisfaction here, to be sure.

This evening, for my current "week ahead" reading, I pulled three cards from my new Celtic Lenormand (Chloë, if you're reading this, I finally have your deck, and I am thoroughly pleased with it!), and a single card from the Stone Tarot.

First I want to discuss the line of three: Shedding Snake - Fox - Flowers

Celtic Lenormand/C. McCracken, W. Worthington

The first understanding that caught my attention was the two Queens (Clubs and Spades) united by the Fox, suggesting "wrongness" or incongruities between two women. Without going into a lot of detail, I will say that this is certainly accurate, and something I'm sure to be wading through in the coming week!

Another detail that drew me in is that this snake is the Shedding Snake, as opposed to the Fierce Snake in the Celtic Lenormand deck. Chloë McCracken has included two versions of the snake card here; the Shedding Snake is somewhat non-traditional and represents the elements of transformation and renewal, while the more traditional Fierce Snake symbolizes complications and falseness. Since I value the sacred and holy aspects of the snake, I enjoy having both here, and have included both in my working deck (there are many other "extra" cards to choose from that I have left out). So then I also see in this line a message that speaks of the elusive (Fox) twists and turns (Snake) inherent in the gift (Flowers) of transformation (Snake). Who said change is easy? Transitioning from one phase into another is often fraught with some amount of complication and uncertainty, and missteps are part of the terrain. This is the nature of the beast; it does not detract from the gift of growth and opportunity, rather it is a necessary and valuable element (after all, aren't mistakes - even the slightest ones - the best teachers?). I have been busy, busy, busy with new (and very complicated, at times) responsibilities of late, and while I'm holding my own pretty well, the road has not been particularly smooth or worry-free. Yet I recognize that this opportunity is a special gift, and in honor of that I am dedicating myself diligently to doing the best that I am able. So there is a certain beauty in that.

From the Stone Tarot I pulled: the Hermit.

Stone Tarot/A. Stone

The Hermit seems like a fitting complement to both interpretations of the Lenormand line above. The Hermit uses discernment and knowledge gathered over the course of time to help understand, analyze, and process new information. The Hermit thrives in solitude, finding that the greatest productivity comes from time spent alone rather than in groups. In many of the new activities I've been up to I am both learning from others (also an aspect of the Hermit) and operating very much on my own. On the road of transformation, the Hermit is a sacred ally, encouraging self-reflection and introspection in order to tap into that very discernment that is part of his blessing. If I don't know what lies ahead, or whose guidance to follow, I must remember to trust in the light of my own lantern that provides a measure of illumination even in the darkest night.....

Decreasing Velocity with the Hermit

One of my pet peeves is something that I must confront every day, and usually on multiple occasions: driving. I remember when I lived in the north in a much smaller city, and I commented frequently about the exasperating "crazy drivers." Compared to the drivers in my current location, they were docile and slow. Driving here is a feat of bravery, defensive tactics, and deep patience. People drive so fast, execute dangerous maneuvers, cut others off. Car accidents and rescue vehicle sirens are a part of the daily landscape of life rather than an occasional occurrence. And I admit that I sometimes experience private glee when someone tears past me in a mad rush into the future....only to end up stopped right next to me at the red light.

And I wonder, "Why is everyone always so aggressive and in such a hurry?" I drew the Hermit:

Mary-El Tarot/Marie White

I admit that I was, at first, a bit taken aback to see one of my favorite (thoughtful, deep, quiet) Major cards symbolizing humanity's perpetual race for first place. But the Hermit has quite a bit to offer in terms of this topic:

I understand the 9s in Tarot as a reflection of the individual (as opposed to the inclusion of others). The Hermit's shadow can represent being shut off from others, experiencing a lack of connection to people in the community. With a focus on the individual, it can cross over into self-absorption.

There may be a lack of identity (see how this Hermit's face seems to blow away in the wind); for instance, we tend to get angry at "cars" more so than drivers. We don't pause to consider the experiences or circumstances of others. They are strangers, unknown to us in just about every way. It's easier to focus intently on personal desires when the people you impact are anonymous. We are essentially all alone in a crowd.

The Hermit can also help remedy this by calling us to be mindful of our behaviors and inclinations. If I find myself rushing, I can take a deep breath and slow down. If I find myself getting aggravated by the person in front of me who is going just under the speed limit in the left lane, I might consider it an invitation to change my own pace, and find a way to be thankful for it.

In the end I can't change the velocity of the others in my world. All I can do is alter my own perspective, and work on being self-reflective enough to find my peace and refrain from participating in the manic rush around me. That's fair :)

Hermit: Reaching In, Reaching Out

This morning, before rushing off to work, I pulled the Hermit from my Navigators Tarot of the Mystic SEA as my card of the day. I was very pleased for two reasons: 1) I've been wanting to write about this card for a while, and 2) it's very apt for my day, and for my week, really. Maybe even my month!

I love this version of the Hermit and find it fascinating! There is an abundance of symbols and details to focus on and pull from, in addition to a variety of colors and even movement. In the background there appears to be a pink, snow-covered mountain range which calls forth the idea of isolation - not necessarily loneliness, but simply the idea of being alone - solitude.

I think it's very interesting how the Hermit's staff reaches up and intersects with the sky with the staff tip almost seeming to penetrate the sun - this becomes his lantern. His feet are planted in the earth and green, fertile grass, and his arm is outstretched as a hawk either flies in to land, or takes to the air. The hawk symbolizes insights, far-reaching vision, access to higher consciousness.

A particularly intriguing detail in this card is that there is a small keyhole on the Hermit's loincloth/underwear!!! This highlights the root chakra, and suggests that finding ways to ground your thoughts and introspection in tangible ways, and rising above (or tapping into) instinctual reactions, is crucial. This makes sense as the Hermit is ruled by Earth.

Navigators Tarot of the Mystic SEA
J. Turk/US Games Systems

Down below there is a crevasse through which a pyramid can be seen on a stretch of sand reaching out to the ocean. Pyramids call to mind esoteric knowledge, the deep mysteries of life. Meanwhile behind our blue Hermit (blue itself being a symbol of knowledge!) there is a dark cave where we see the outline of a person in the lotus position perched before a burning flame. I like this juxtaposition of  reaching out (arm outstretched toward the sun) and reaching in (cave dweller), which is so fitting for the Hermit. Finally, there is a veiled woman approaching the Hermit from one side of the jagged divide and she means two things to me: 1) the student seeking a mentor, and 2) the fact that in our modern age, the Hermit can take any form, and walk beside us without our ever realizing it. This woman could well be another face of the Hermit.

I've been doing a lot of "reaching within" lately, and the one of the things that has been on my mind a lot is where I want to take my card reading as a business. I love helping people, and find that reading cards for people can be deeply satisfying and rewarding. However I feel like so much is changing in my life at present, and my thoughts and feelings about being available to the world in the form of a card-reading business have not been immune from the great wave rushing through and around me. I've temporarily disabled my "reading request" page as I work through what changes I want to see, and how I want to implement them. One thing that I'm considering is the creation of a questionnaire for potential clients that would be completed prior to a consultation in order to get at the core of their situation, needs, expectations, perceptions about divination, goals, mindset, etc. I'll be taking some Hermit-time to sort through the specifics and logistics of doing that, among other things, which in the end will bring me to a place of deeper satisfaction and clarity of purpose and intent!

Hermit: Light and Shadow

I don't order new decks very often, but when I do it's because I've come across something that really draws me in. It's been a while, but I've finally found one: the Light and Shadow Tarot, by author Brian Williams and artist Michael Goepferd. I'm so excited.

The artist has created a series of wood cuts for this deck. I find I'm very drawn to the texture and movement in wood block prints of this nature - there is something rustic and earthy that draws me right in - so having a whole deck of them is pretty awesome! The only other deck that I own that is not full color is the Ship of Fools Tarot, by Brian Williams. It's based on Das Narrenschiff, by Sebastian Brant, and all of the images are fine-line ink over a sepia-toned background. I find the deck very interesting, but don't read with it very much as it takes time for the eye to process everything that's going on in each card. However the Light and Shadow Tarot, while black and white, is bold and simple such that it reads quite well. This is a huge plus.  I will eventually do a review of the deck, but for now I want to focus on the simple loveliness of the initial card that called to me (it helps that it's on the front cover of the packaging): the Hermit.

Light and Shadow Tarot
Williams/Goepferd

The Hermit's candle guides him onward in pursuit of self-knowledge, and the snail and raven are his constant companions. Ravens symbolize mystery, introspection, mysticism and transformation. The snail represents patience, process, and wisdom. If you look closely you'll see a yin-yang symbol in the flame of the glowing light - the Hermit understands that life is balance, and is cyclical. Without challenges would we appreciate the times of joy fully? Heartbreak is only possible if we have loved deeply. The crops would perish without the rain. By embracing Hermit energy we come to know ourselves, our own patterns and cycles, and can learn and grow from them. We come to appreciate the night, knowing that it won't last forever.

Happy Tuesday!

Mabon Blog Hop: Trusting Intuition

Previous / Master / Next

Greetings, and Happy Mabon! Please use the links at the top or bottom of this post to access the other wonderful blogs in this circle.

Our wrangler for this hop, Morgan Drake Eckstein, has asked us to consider and write about a time when we feel we made a "quantum leap" in our understanding of the cards. At first I didn't know what I might write about for this topic, because learning and integration of Tarot (as with any divination system) feels so gradual, and in some ways implicit.

But one afternoon I received a reading request from a client, and it wasn't about love, or work, or money. She had been studying the cards for years and felt she wasn't making any progress. She wanted to know what was creating limitations for her, and how to be a better reader. These are the kinds of questions I really love to explore with clients, and as we worked through her reading we found that she was over-intellectualizing the process. She was treating divination like math class: memorize the formulas, understand what the symbols mean….and once she's done that she should be golden, right? But she wasn't golden. She was stuck.

As we explored her blocks and how to address them, I was brought back to that "quantum leap" I'd made in my own studies, and I knew just what to write about for this hop…

That little voice that speaks to us….
Photo Credit

When I first started to really study and learn Tarot I used a Marseilles-style deck; the Major Arcana was beautifully illustrated, but the cards in the Minor Arcana featured just the appropriate number of elements for the suit. In other words, the 6 of Pentacles showed just six pentacles. There were no images that might help a novice learner understand the energy being represented. I'm an academic, and I'm very methodical about learning. I went to the library, found a nice book on Tarot meanings that also showed the Rider Waite images for each card, and I studied and memorized and studied and memorized. I created lists and charts, and I learned that deck. When I saw the 4 of Swords, I didn't just see four swords, I imagined the Rider Waite depiction, and it helped make meaningful connections to my own deck. Great?

Sort of! Except studying in that way is like crafting a mojo bag without breathing life into it. It's static and stale. I wanted my readings to come to life, become more dynamic, but I had spent so much time memorizing those book meanings that I was afraid to let them go. Eventually I decided I needed some help - I needed someone to encourage me to let go of my limitations, to tap into something more than my intellect. One day I saw an advertisement for an "Intuitive Tarot" class at a local metaphysical shop, and I signed right up.

The instructor was a wonderful woman who had been working with the cards and as a medium for over 30 years. The first thing she said was "bring whatever deck appeals to you." I had brought the Radiant Rider Waite because I assumed that would be the deck of choice for a formal class. But she felt that the most important thing about becoming a reader is not to memorize meanings, but to pay attention to the art - what does it say? What parts draw your attention? How does it make you feel? How do the colors mesh together, and what message does that send? To read that way, it's best to have a deck that you're drawn to, not necessarily the most common or traditional deck.

Golden Tarot - Liz Dean

To be clear, she wasn't encouraging students not to study card meanings - she felt that in the long run knowing the meanings would be very helpful. But she wanted everyone in the room to leave class on the last day with the ability to give accurate readings, and knowing book meanings wasn't essential for that. (As a side note, I suspect there are many people who never read Tarot because they're overwhelmed by the prospect of having to learn all those meanings. This particular method teaches that you can give great readings by trusting your intuition first, and there's still room to work on traditional meanings and structure over time). Whew, I was in the right place! In fact it was harder for me than for other students because I was so attached to those meanings; I had to unlearn a bit in order to loosen up and open up my intuitive channels.

That class was wonderful in that it gave me "permission" to let the cards speak to me personally, to delve into a deeper level of reading than what I had been allowing myself to experience. And in the end I was able to find a reading style that struck a comfortable balance between my intuition and rational mind, so that I was able to honor both; my readings became so much richer and more profound. That was rewarding.

High Priestess, by Panskiduf

But trusting your intuition is not always easy, especially when you're first learning. And in the case of my client who'd been studying for years and wasn't making significant progress, her blockage hinged on her fear of honoring her intuition and letting it speak to her. Most readers have had that experience - you have a "gut feeling," or a hunch, or a proverb pops into your head seemingly out of nowhere. Do you tell the client, or keep it to yourself? What if you're wrong? Too risky, better just stick with the standard meanings. Then the client starts chattering away about the details of their situation, and everything you were feeling turns out to be precisely the case, and if you'd have just said that then your reading would have been so much better! Well, that's the process of learning to trust yourself, and it takes time and a pinch of bravery, but it's so worth it in the long-run.

With that, I send you on to the next Blog Hop post - Mabon Blessings!

Previous / Master / Next

Love-Hate Relationships (with decks!)

Last night I participated in a Tarot Circle led by the lovely Christiana Gaudet from Tarot Trends. During introductions everyone has the opportunity to ask a "burning question" or to make any comment they feel compelled to share. I had my Deviant Moon deck with me (by Patrick Valenza) and when it was my turn to speak I found myself talking about how the the Deviant Moon has become my main working deck, even though it's not my favorite deck.  Christiana asked me why I thought that was, and I honestly wasn't entirely sure. The angles, the colors, the shapes, draw me in and engage my intuition in a way that make my readings tend to flow….even though there are things I really don't like about it.

For instance, the Hermit card in any deck is one of those cards I'm particular about - it's one of my favorites.  And yet the Deviant Moon Hermit is entirely unappealing to me, and even a bit creepy. I prefer the images of the Hermit as a hooded, solitary figure, and I really resonate with that energy. But a Gollum-looking creature in a cave sitting next to a fish skeleton? Meh. I get the idea behind the image, I just don't really like it.

Deviant Moon Tarot - Patrick Valenza
US Games

I also don't like men with jutting chins and lipstick, and I have to say that the clown-like Magician took some getting used to.

Deviant Moon Tarot - Patrick Valenza
US Games

On the other hand, this deck has some cards that have come to be some of my very favorite of all time, such as the 4 of Swords and the Ace of Wands.

Deviant Moon Tarot - Patrick Valenza
US Games

Deviant Moon Tarot - Patrick Valenza
US Games

So given all these conflicting feelings about the deck, why do I like it so much? Why has it elbowed its way into being the deck I tend to choose most often for doing readings?

I was pondering this last night, following the Tarot Circle, and it finally popped into my mind like an almost-visible "ah hah" moment…...

I love this deck because it looks like it was co-created by Salvador Dalí and Pablo Picasso, two of my important artistic influences growing up. Picasso was an inspiration to me, and along with Diego Rivera, had a large impact on my developing style when I was an adolescent. I always found Dalí's surrealism and use of color and shape fascinating. So while there are aspects of the art style that I don't love, and while there are some cards I really don't care for, the deck still speaks to me in a way that calls me back to my creative origins, and somehow links an important part of my past to my present (think 6 of Cups). This is especially important to me because in recent years I've almost entirely stopped producing art work, and on some level I really miss it, and sometimes think I need it.

So I still find myself appreciating the entire package, because like anything familiar and dear to a person, there are things you love - the important things that keep you present and engaged - and there are things you don't love - the things you accept and work with because that's what you do when you love something (or someone)… and sometimes, like an ugly dog, you end up finding those imperfections endearing rather than off-putting.

So that's me and the Deviant Moon.

Hidden Mountaintop, Here I Come!

Today I'm feeling Hermit-y.  On my way to work this morning I was dreaming of a lonely mountaintop, my own private cabin, no one for miles around.  Some days being part of humanity is taxing!  I watch the news and see stories of so many horrible things.  I drive to the grocery store, and on the way have to battle 28 crazed motorists that make me feel like I'm in a battle video game.  At work there is always some new miscommunication in the general environment which leads to rampant gossiping.  I know that escaping is not really the solution, but that doesn't mean
that at times it isn't very tempting!

DruidCraft Tarot, St. Martin's Press
S. and P. Carr-Gomm, W. Worthington

Oh, the Hermit!  The solitary figure on the cliff high above the land.  He is accompanied by a wolf, signifying the power, fortitude, and deep self-understanding that come from being alone, while the moon shines above, a symbol of inner-knowledge and intuition.  The green shade in the sky represents healing, peace, and our innate connection to nature.  In his right hand the Hermit bears the lantern of spiritual illumination and teaching.  He's alone because he chooses to be, not because he must be.  His gifts are the pursuit of truth, guidance and learning, and the wisdom that comes from experiencing the deep quiet within.

Digging In Deep

My daily draw today was the Hermit (with Liz Dean’s Golden Tarot).

This is one of my favorite cards, so it was a welcome sight.  So what does this card mean to me?  Well, as usual, it’s very fitting!

Golden Tarot - Liz Dean

I’ve been studying Tarot intensely for a while now.  I’ve read books, absorbed online resources, practiced analyzing different ways of understanding spreads (elemental dignities, numerology, etc.).  These have all been extremely positive for me.  But I’ve reached the point where it’s time to go within.  It’s time to spend alone time with my cards, to study their images and what those images mean to me – not just what the books and websites say they mean.  Yesterday evening I settled down with my tablet and thought: “What site will I spend time on today?”  I drew a blank – I wasn’t being pulled anywhere in particular.  I had the feeling that I’d already explored everything valuable online.  Having all of that knowledge about various card meanings is great, and forms a wonderful foundation for Tarot study.  I adore reading (and will continue to read) other Tarot readers’ blogs to hear about their experiences and learn from the manner in which they work with the cards.  And in the future I’ll use the internet to take the plunge into free reading.  But it’s time to dig in deeper.  My intuition is exploding, and the trust I place in it is growing rapidly.  

Two nights ago I read a real-life sample spread on a popular website, and treated it as if I had received the question from a querent, and pulled those cards.  I worked my way through each one, thought about the story being told, and came to my conclusions about what I would tell the querent if she were my own client.  Afterward I read through other people’s interpretations.  Many were similar, but veered away from mine in various ways – and of course that caused me to doubt myself, and what I was seeing in the cards.  Then I finally read the feedback from the original client, and it reflected my interpretation almost identically.  All those areas where I had second-guessed myself were actually right on.  It was a rewarding moment, and I realized that I can actually do this with people I don’t know.  I learn from reading others’ takes on spreads, so it’s a valuable learning experience.  But I need to focus more on my own intuitions and discernment, and how the cards speak to me.  

So it’s time to swim beneath the surface, delve deeper into my own personal relationship with Tarot.  The hourglass hanging from the tree, and the light of the Hermit's lantern are saying "slow down, and take time to deepen your understanding." This is what the Hermit represents to me today.