Don't "Connect" With Your Deck? Be More Specific!

Tarot enthusiasts are wont to make the following sorts of statements about decks in their collection:

I really love the artwork, but I just don't connect with it.

I tried reading with it a few times but I couldn't seem to connect with it, so I gave it away.

I'd like to encourage the use of more specific language rather than the common refrain: I don't "connect" with it. What does that mean? It certainly doesn't mean the same thing for everyone who uses the phrase.

Golden Tarot - Liz Dean

When people talk about not "connecting" with a deck, they usually mean one (or a combination) of the following:

• They feel uncomfortable with the deck's theme
• They don't like the artwork
• They like the artwork but find it doesn't represent the card essences clearly or accurately enough
• They like the artwork but find each card too "busy" or the images too fine/detailed to read with easily
• They find non-scenic Minor cards a challenge to interpret 

Why does specific language matter? Well, speaking as a writer and language professional, I strongly believe in cultivating accuracy in expression. I also feel that working to be as clear and detailed as possible about our experiences is a wonderful exercise in mindfulness and self-awareness. And of course understanding exactly why someone else doesn't "connect" with a deck might help us to empathize more profoundly with their experience, and hence allow us to commiserate and/or offer better feedback.

There is some wisdom in not being overly quick to rid ourselves of decks that don't seem to do it for us in the moment: those that don't call to us now may call quite powerfully to us later. Sometimes particular decks seem to complement a particular phase of our journey, and thus make the ideal companion, even if only for a while.

And then there are decks that may collect dust for years, but are worth hanging on to anyway, such as....

My copy of the Prisma Visions Tarot - a beautiful deck, and a solid part of my collection, but one I rarely feel called to read with. Why? The artwork on some cards (ahem, Wands courts) is simply a bit "messy," which is not aesthetically pleasing to me, and in some cases has me examining a card up close muttering, "What the hell is happening in this picture??" I also think that in the creation of the suit storylines, aspects of each individual card's composition and unique meaning was sacrificed. Still, it's a lovely and extremely creative work of art.

Prisma Visions - James R. Eads

So, here's to clarity in articulation - may it serve us well!

Be Your Own Warrior (Not Worrier)

It has taken me a long time to recognize that I am a worrier. I've always been very laid back, flexible, calm, relaxed. Those aren't characteristics that I tend to associate with neurosis! And yet under the surface I would indeed be very anxious - always analyzing (and over-analyzing) conversations and events, worrying about people and responsibilities. During the day it was relatively easy to push it all back in the shadows, but it would inevitably rear its head in the darkest hours of the night. I would wake up at 2am and instead of turning over and falling back to sleep, I would wrap myself in a blanket of all of those fears. In most cases I was blowing things far out of proportion; during the day my rational mind helped mitigate the anxiety, but at night that balance disappeared, and reality felt as dark as the sky. I would lay awake for hours until close to dawn when it felt safe to sleep again.

This is a perfect description of the 9 of Swords.

Golden Tarot - Kat Black

For nearly a year I've held a stanza of the Hávamál like a mantra in my mind:

Jackson Crawford translation

This is extremely sensible, of course, and yet I was having a hard time putting it into practice. I know it's useless to lie awake worrying about concerns both real and imagined, only to have to trudge through the next day exhausted from lack of sleep, the same concerns yet to be solved. Isn't it easier to approach challenges with a clear, rested mind?

A while ago I decided to pull a couple of cards for myself about how to help myself and drew the 7 of Wands as the source, and the reversed waxing crescent as the solution.

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot - Uusi

The 7 of Wands made a lot of sense to me: it evokes a feeling of "me against the world." While I always manage to sort things out and stay on top of it all, I was tending to focus on the dread associated with the need to solve various matters, rather than trusting myself. I felt like I was giving my power away. The Luna card was an interesting and yet very fitting response. Upright this would be a waxing crescent, but reversed it becomes a waning moon. What this told me was that as my fears began to grow, I needed to let them go. This seemed like obvious advice, and I still didn't know if I would be able to implement it. Just "let it go"? Is it really that easy, though?

The funny thing is that I found that it was. That same night I woke up in the early hours. My body was drowsy, and I knew that this was the magical point at which I could either allow my worries to take over, or I could go back to sleep. I wanted to go back to sleep. With some amount of irritation, I thought something along the lines of: "Not now, worry, not tonight." And I turned over and went back to sleep. Yes, just like that. I refused to permit my irrational fears to ruin my rest. I banished them. And every other time since then that I've awoken in the middle of the night and found myself in similar circumstances, I've just said, "Nope," and have settled back into sleep.

Last night I decided to make space to write my first "Post It Note Poem" (this is something happening on Instagram) as I was sipping hot tea, nestled into the couch to watch the nightly news. I actually produced quite a few poems, but this is the one that struck me most:

I didn't intend to describe those late night fear sessions, but I did. The funny thing is, the 7 of Wands was both the source of my worry, and part of the solution. In order to release those fears I had to take my power back and become an advocate for my own well-being. I am in the dark, and there are no stars, no light to ease my mind. There is only me. So it is my responsibility to be my own warrior.

Guest Post: To Be Loved Is to Be Given Life

Today I'm featuring a guest post written by none other than my mother, Cecilia Skidmore: licensed counselor, grief and change expert, former radio host, and MBTI administrator (to say very little!). To read a bit more about her click here, and to view her blog click here.

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"TO BE LOVED IS TO BE GIVEN LIFE" - those words were written years ago by the artist wife of my minister and he used them as a Christmas card the year following her death. To be loved is to be given life -odd words for a memorial for someone who has died. What does that mean? Given life...

In our society, in relatively recent times, we avoid mention of death. We left the armbands behind, left the wakes held at home behind, left the formal mourning periods behind. Death is a spectre, just like on Halloween, hovering in the shadows of our homes, our lives, our minds, and we use a great deal of energy trying to find a way to shut the door on those shadows and seal them off forever.
When our childrens' pets die, we buy another. The illusion is that life is replaceable, that pain can be erased in the blink of an eye with a new puppy. When our parents die, we keep our children home from the funeral. We keep our tears and pain inside, so that they (and we) won't have to experience that so uncomfortable emotion, despair. It feels so out of control and so intense that we fear we might frighten the children. So, while we can't replace Grandma with a new puppy, we can act as if it's ok that she died. We might even pretend she's "away" or "asleep," common euphemisms for the word "dead." We can not talk about her; we can fill the space she had in our lives and in our homes with other people or more work - or a new car. Or a new love. The hole is not only a physical one (she's not in that chair anymore) but a spiritual one and a psychological one- and we race around desperately trying to fill it with everything and anything except the few things we really need.

Golden Tarot - L. Dean

We need a light to shine on those dark spaces in our psyches where death lurks. We need to look death square in the face--and when we do, we find that death looks very familiar. It looks like us. It looks like our loves and our hopes, but also like our failures and lost dreams. It looks final, though - like we don't get another chance. Perhaps that scares us the most. And perhaps it should. We need to say and do important things now - not after they are no longer here.

We need education. Sit with someone who is dying, as I have done at Hospice. When you spend time with a dying person, you find they are Person first. Not a spectre. They live, often better than before. They find great pleasure in people, in children, in animals. They still find joy in reading, in smelling fresh cut grass, in watching the birds on a snow-covered pine. They are thoughtful and less concerned with things tangible - like money or possessions, except as a legacy they might be leaving a loved one. But they are very real, very human - very alive.

5 of Water - Gaian Tarot
Joanna Powell Colbert

We need to ponder what comes after death. (I firmly believe in reincarnation until someone I love dies - then the thought of them embarking on a new life when I've just arrived in Heaven seems so sad - so I revert to the safety of clouds and harps.) We need to read books, talk about it with friends, and weigh what we learn. A firm belief in something greater than ourselves, or a firm belief in the natural cycles of life and death on earth can be comforting.

We need to learn about grieving as well. It helps to have a belief about life beyond death - but usually that's not our biggest concern when a loved one dies. An incredible amount of the pain of grieving comes not from worry about where they are, but from the fact that they are not here with us. Grief can be an emotional, psychological and physical maelstrom. So much is unanticipated, unexpected. We experience a gnawing in our guts, a weariness in our bones, a breaking of our hearts. When my mother died, some thirty years ago, I wrote a poem:

"This morning when I woke up, I found my heart had been ripped from my body....What I want to know is... why am I still alive?"

We become forgetful, losing moments, hours, names, faces, appointments. We see things: the look of our beloved on a stranger in the hardware store - or visions that are so real, but impossible to explain.

We hear voices - or we are visited in our dreams.

We remember and remember and remember - with others, on paper, in our daydreams and our night dreams. We relive so many moments, trying to keep them alive and here with us. We are so afraid to forget.

Vision Quest Tarot

And people, other loving, fearful people try to push us forward, to get us (and themselves) away from the pain. So gradually we have our lost loved ones in our lives (so it doesn't hurt) and we gradually talk less about our beloved - so it doesn't hurt. But the hurt comes from a deep would and deep wounds take a long time to heal.

So we need to know about grieving and how long it will take. Hiding from the spectres of death and grieving leave us unprotected from the turmoil they bring. If we know, we can take care of our needs, learn to share our pain and not be overwhelmed. Grief happens all our lives, if not from death, then from divorce, or job loss, or moves, or aging. The grief experience is the same, and it carries compound interest from all the others before it. The more we know, the more we can help ourselves and our children.

At last we can take the time and energy to begin to understand who we are now - after.

When someone dies, they are transformed. Some faiths believe our souls go to a heaven of clouds and harps where we live happily ever after. Some believe literally that God's house has many mansions where we will all go,, and other that only they will receive everlasting life. Some believe in a seemingly endless cycle of life, learning, death and rebirth until we reach oneness with God. People who don't believe in a God or afterlife acknowledge that at least the body becomes part of the earth again, fertilizer, renewing other life.

The reality is, when someone dies, they are transformed - whatever you pay attention to.

Earthbound Oracle

But so are we - we who are left behind. The person we were when our beloved was alive changes - in sometimes very subtle, sometimes profound ways - always viscerally. So when the time for mourning and grieving has passed, when we awake to a new morning, free of the deep pain, we are newborn.

We are a fresh creation.

But we have not left our beloved behind. We have not forgotten. If death is like a shedding of our outer skin, a metamorphosis, grieving and healing from grief is like communion - an absorption into our living flesh, our changing psyche, our evolving spirit - of the essence of our beloved.

It's hard to understand - ask someone who has grieved. Those parts we thought were gone forever have now become part of us. And with that transplant comes a new human being - broken, but stronger at the broken places, as Hemingway said. Malleable, but firm, solid and real, but transcendent. All those cliches about dawn after darkness, spring following winter - are real, true.

They are true because love and grief are inextricably bound. We don't grieve what we never loved. We grieve only those things or people who have enriched our lives and given it meaning. When we love deeply, we grieve deeply. But we do not forget. And in our remembering we keep our loved one alive.

To be loved is to be given life.

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Ashé

Super Bowl XLIX Prediction

I'm not an American football-fan, nevertheless that did not prevent me from pulling some cards about the outcome of last year's game (which you can read about here!). So I thought I'd do the same this year, just to see how it all plays out (pun sort-of intended).

Last year the cards were in favor of the underdog, the Sea Hawks, and they did indeed succeed... in fact they destroyed the Broncos. They're back at the Bowl this year, and this year most people are rooting in their favor. So naturally, my cards have again come out in favor of the (sort of) underdog: the Patriots. Here are the cards:

Sea Hawks: 

10 of Swords rx - Page of Pentacles - Queen of Wands rx

Patriots:

9 of Pentacles - 2 of Cups - Knight of Swords

So how do I read these lines? I think that the Sea Hawks will make a great effort, but their energy will be erratic which will prevent them from ultimate success. Meanwhile the Patriots have solid form and aggressive tactics to boot, with that nice 2 of Cups in the middle uniting those two important energies. 

There's only one way to find out how it's going to go down.. gotta watch the game tomorrow!!!

Update: The Patriots won 28-24, and the Sea Hawks definitely put up a great fight. The 2 of Cups was the Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady, and his teammate Edelman - they were responsible for most of the scoring, and even hugged at one point after a sweet touchdown. The team itself as a single entity was the 9 of Pentacles: tight, together, and strong. Interestingly, there are 11 active players during a game, for each side, and 9+2 is 11. This seems to underscore the team togetherness. The Knight could have been a number of the players from the team - swift and smart. 

Samhain Blog Hop: Catching Fireflies in Glass Jars

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Happy Halloween, Happy Samhain!

Welcome to the 2014 Samhain Blog Hop! Please use the links at the top or bottom of this post to navigate through the other wonderful blogs in this circle.

Louise Underhill, from Priestess Tarot, asked us to describe (using our cards, naturally) a guest that we'd like to invite to a Samhain tea. It could be someone real or imaginary, someone known to us or someone famous. I always struggle with these sorts of scenarios, kind of like when someone asks you to name your hero, or your favorite music group of all time.

But this time I thought it would be nice to invite the spirit of my grandma Dorothy (my mother's mother) to spend some time with me on Samhain eve. I have fond memories of my grandma, though they be few in number, and connecting with her is something meaningful to me since I was never able to properly know her in life. I decided to pull three cards from my Golden Tarot deck, and in addition I, as usual, took a peek at the card at the bottom of the deck for an underlying theme or energy of the spread. 

Golden Tarot - Kat Black
U.S. Games Systems

This bottom card was: 6 of Cups. My, how fitting! Having tea with my grandmother's memory is precisely what this card is all about. I'm traveling down memory lane, remembering aspects of my young childhood, those that she was a part of…Life was certainly simpler then, and the image on this card could well be me and my sister in Dorothy's back yard, a place we spent a lot of time. The tree could be Dorothy's cherry tree; I remember the excitement with which we would pluck the fruit from its branches when ripe (even then, the notion of harvesting one's own food was great fun for me!). Now on to the central questions….

1) How would Dorothy describe herself? 2 of Cups
2) What would she like to talk about? 10 of Coins
3) What messages might she have for me? 10 of Swords

Golden Tarot - Kat Black
U.S. Games Systems

The first card filled my heart with a strong sense of understanding of the love that she carried within. Dorothy died when I was five years old. She had a difficult life, marrying twice (the first at a young age) and bearing six children across the span of it. I know that towards the end of her life she struggled quite a bit with relationships; I think she was just tired. My mom told me that when she was pregnant with me, Dorothy had told her, "I don't think I'm capable of loving any more people." But when I came into the world, she found that she was quite able to open her heart to me. I know that my grandmother adored her children, no matter how many steep obstacles she had to contend with along the way. The Two of Cups speaks to the healing and wholeness offered by love, and I hope that she has found that for herself. She is certainly still loved, even in memory.

The second card actually made me laugh a bit, oh my clever grandma….. She wants to talk about the powerful legacy of the family home, a very pertinent topic for this moment. One of the things I recall most about being in my grandmother's house was the activity. When I was a child we lived in Cheshire, Connecticut, and our own home was right next door to my grandmother's house, so there was constant communication and interaction. Many of our extended family lived nearby, so we often found ourselves playing and eating with our cousins, aunts, and uncles. I distinctly remember a group of us playing with GI Joe figurines in Dorothy's dusty attic. I remember catching fireflies in glass jars on summer evenings, and hunting for the perfect twig in the grass; if it passed inspection, an adult would tie a string to both ends to make our very own bow. I even remember tearing across the back yard on my Big Wheels trike, feeling pretty adventurous and cool. There is something special and "right" in family togetherness. Oftentimes it revolves around a central home, belonging perhaps to a matriarch or patriarch, that serves as the anchor of family unity. It's the nucleus, it is the hearth of the family heart. And it's the keeper of that precious legacy that is the root of a family's strength. We had that in Connecticut, and we don't have that now in the same way. My grandmother died long ago. We moved to Michigan and created a new life. Now I am living with my own family in Florida, and in these ways we continue to spread ourselves thin, stretching the energetic ties of our kin like rubber bands across vast stretches of terrain. Mambo Vye Zo has written about this sort of tie, the family "Oversoul", and says this about it:

Families often share an Oversoul that can have far reaching results.  If an Oversoul is something that is shared by two or more people, then a Family Oversoul is a deeper bond than mere pairing can create.  You share this Oversoul with your mother and father, as well as your siblings.  This Oversoul is the family vibe that runs through you all.  It descends from your grandparents' Oversoul or even further back, giving you a piece of their relationship with which you begin your own.

As I sit contemplating what the 10 of Coins means to me in the context of this Samhain visit with my grandmother, it is precisely this sense of our family's Oversoul that feels sharply defined, a thin yet steely vibration of ancestral connection threading its way through my deepest core. I am filled with a potent sense of urgency to relieve those deep stretches in our shared, energetic bond.

Just a few days ago my mother broached the topic of our coming back "home." Not to visit, but to stay. It's something we've thought of before, but you know how it goes - there are positives and negatives to everything, and in the end it's easier to stay put. But it goes beyond just missing each other. There is something deeper there, and the 10 of Coins feels like my grandmother's voice underscoring that topic. It's about restoring the core strength of the family, little by little. Giving our children grandparents to know intimately, to make memories with - there is no replacement for that. And there's no excuse for taking that away from them. With this card my grandmother is reminding me of what I had back then as a child, and encouraging me to make that a critical focal point as we seriously consider our next steps forward.

Photo Credit: Chantal Steyn

Not surprisingly, my grandmother's message to me is the 10 of Swords. This card, and the Death card, have been my followers of late. I know that big, at times painful, change is unfolding in my life at present. It sucks, I will be honest about that, and I'm certainly exhausted. But there's something therapeutic in catharsis. My grandmother is reassuring me of something I've sensed for a while now - that there is something new on the way. Although at times I'm not entirely sure just what it is, I do know that the only way to get there is to simply let go. Should we embrace the message of the previous card, there will certainly be some poignant 10 of Swords qualities to the transition. The truth is that there is something reassuring about knowing that all of the challenges and pain and difficulties are leading somewhere positive. That at its foundation this period is like birthing pains, that deep, primal pressure, the gasps when you start to wonder if you'll ever make it to the end….and then you do. And in that moment you realize that the fruit of your labor was so well worth it that you'd do it all over again. Yes, that is a bit what this feels like. And what a perfect meditation for Samhain, where we embrace death, rejoicing in the knowledge that a new life cycle is on its way.

So this Samhain I embrace and honor my grandmother Dorothy. I invite her to connect with me, to chat with me, to pass her wisdom on to me. I open my heart to receive her presence with gratitude and love.

Happy and blessed Samhain to you all!

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Mabon Blog Hop: Trusting Intuition

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Greetings, and Happy Mabon! Please use the links at the top or bottom of this post to access the other wonderful blogs in this circle.

Our wrangler for this hop, Morgan Drake Eckstein, has asked us to consider and write about a time when we feel we made a "quantum leap" in our understanding of the cards. At first I didn't know what I might write about for this topic, because learning and integration of Tarot (as with any divination system) feels so gradual, and in some ways implicit.

But one afternoon I received a reading request from a client, and it wasn't about love, or work, or money. She had been studying the cards for years and felt she wasn't making any progress. She wanted to know what was creating limitations for her, and how to be a better reader. These are the kinds of questions I really love to explore with clients, and as we worked through her reading we found that she was over-intellectualizing the process. She was treating divination like math class: memorize the formulas, understand what the symbols mean….and once she's done that she should be golden, right? But she wasn't golden. She was stuck.

As we explored her blocks and how to address them, I was brought back to that "quantum leap" I'd made in my own studies, and I knew just what to write about for this hop…

That little voice that speaks to us….
Photo Credit

When I first started to really study and learn Tarot I used a Marseilles-style deck; the Major Arcana was beautifully illustrated, but the cards in the Minor Arcana featured just the appropriate number of elements for the suit. In other words, the 6 of Pentacles showed just six pentacles. There were no images that might help a novice learner understand the energy being represented. I'm an academic, and I'm very methodical about learning. I went to the library, found a nice book on Tarot meanings that also showed the Rider Waite images for each card, and I studied and memorized and studied and memorized. I created lists and charts, and I learned that deck. When I saw the 4 of Swords, I didn't just see four swords, I imagined the Rider Waite depiction, and it helped make meaningful connections to my own deck. Great?

Sort of! Except studying in that way is like crafting a mojo bag without breathing life into it. It's static and stale. I wanted my readings to come to life, become more dynamic, but I had spent so much time memorizing those book meanings that I was afraid to let them go. Eventually I decided I needed some help - I needed someone to encourage me to let go of my limitations, to tap into something more than my intellect. One day I saw an advertisement for an "Intuitive Tarot" class at a local metaphysical shop, and I signed right up.

The instructor was a wonderful woman who had been working with the cards and as a medium for over 30 years. The first thing she said was "bring whatever deck appeals to you." I had brought the Radiant Rider Waite because I assumed that would be the deck of choice for a formal class. But she felt that the most important thing about becoming a reader is not to memorize meanings, but to pay attention to the art - what does it say? What parts draw your attention? How does it make you feel? How do the colors mesh together, and what message does that send? To read that way, it's best to have a deck that you're drawn to, not necessarily the most common or traditional deck.

Golden Tarot - Liz Dean

To be clear, she wasn't encouraging students not to study card meanings - she felt that in the long run knowing the meanings would be very helpful. But she wanted everyone in the room to leave class on the last day with the ability to give accurate readings, and knowing book meanings wasn't essential for that. (As a side note, I suspect there are many people who never read Tarot because they're overwhelmed by the prospect of having to learn all those meanings. This particular method teaches that you can give great readings by trusting your intuition first, and there's still room to work on traditional meanings and structure over time). Whew, I was in the right place! In fact it was harder for me than for other students because I was so attached to those meanings; I had to unlearn a bit in order to loosen up and open up my intuitive channels.

That class was wonderful in that it gave me "permission" to let the cards speak to me personally, to delve into a deeper level of reading than what I had been allowing myself to experience. And in the end I was able to find a reading style that struck a comfortable balance between my intuition and rational mind, so that I was able to honor both; my readings became so much richer and more profound. That was rewarding.

High Priestess, by Panskiduf

But trusting your intuition is not always easy, especially when you're first learning. And in the case of my client who'd been studying for years and wasn't making significant progress, her blockage hinged on her fear of honoring her intuition and letting it speak to her. Most readers have had that experience - you have a "gut feeling," or a hunch, or a proverb pops into your head seemingly out of nowhere. Do you tell the client, or keep it to yourself? What if you're wrong? Too risky, better just stick with the standard meanings. Then the client starts chattering away about the details of their situation, and everything you were feeling turns out to be precisely the case, and if you'd have just said that then your reading would have been so much better! Well, that's the process of learning to trust yourself, and it takes time and a pinch of bravery, but it's so worth it in the long-run.

With that, I send you on to the next Blog Hop post - Mabon Blessings!

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6 of Wands: A Pat on the Back

I pulled a daily card today to ask what I might expect for my day ahead, and I pulled the 6 of Wands. This was a highly encouraging card to receive on a day when I was slated to have my annual review! I didn't have any real concerns that anything unpleasant might occur, nonetheless it was fitting and very welcome.

Golden Tarot - Kat Black

The 6 of Wands is a very fortunate card when it comes to career recognition, and in the context of an annual review would bode well for a positive outcome and even a salary increase. You can think of this card as a Tarot pat-on-the-back for handling your business in all the right ways.

So I went on with my scheduled meeting, and it was great. My program chair was very happy with me, and called me a "super star" - so it doesn't get much more 6 of Wandsy than that!  Given the double load I'm managing this week, in combination with the fact that I still haven't entirely recuperated from my Blood Moon gazing, I'm grateful for this metaphorical sunshine!

O Moon!

This morning I pulled my regular Lenormand line of 3, and also decided to pull a Tarot card of the day. In my intensive Lenormand study I've been somewhat neglecting Tarot, and as we say in Spanish: me hace falta!

Daily draws, whether you use Tarot or Lenormand, represent toned-down versions of whatever card you happen to pull. So let's say you pull the Tower, and your first instinct is to shrink back in horror, hide your face in the pillow and swear you'll never leave the house for the rest of the day. It probably won't be quite that bad. In fact I remember once I selected the Tower for a weekly draw, and my stomach did a flip or two….it turned out that my husband dropped his new phone and the screen cracked, and our car battery needed to be replaced. Not cool, it's true, but also very manageable and certainly not the end of the world!  A daily is along those lines, or perhaps even milder or more subtle if it covers the major energies in a single day.

So first I drew my three Lenormands and pulled:

Moon - Anchor - Cross

Enchanted Lenormand - Caitlin Matthews

Sigh. The Cross is not a pleasant card, and falling at the end of the line it gives a difficult little cap to my reading. These are the moments when remembering it's "just a daily" is actually a comfort. The Moon and Anchor are my two principal work-related cards - Moon is about your reputation and how people see you, while the Anchor is about job stability and security. So immediately my thoughts went to how my work day would go. I normally teach one intensive course each week, but this week due to limited faculty, I'll be teaching two, and today is my first day tackling this double schedule. In light of this, I can see this reading as being about the burdens (Cross) of work (Anchor), and the recognition by others (Moon) that I'm juggling this difficult schedule. 

Some see the Lenormand Moon as also representing emotions - I don't tend to see it this way usually, but thus far it actually makes sense. I'm a pretty emotionally steady person (Moon - Anchor) (my sister always called me "even-keeled"). Here then I see a difficult burden that impacts my emotional stability. Well I did have a very uncharacteristically intense argument this morning, so ain't that tha truth, Cross. In fact, I was pretty cross. My cross feelings disturbed my emotional stability. Yep.  And it's fair to say that my cross-ness definitely disturbed my reputation (Moon) for being relatively calm. And also that I was seen by another (Moon) to be cross. 

So there we have it! Both work out very well together.

Moving on to my Tarot daily: Moon!

Golden Tarot - Kat Black

Different cards, very different divination system, same symbol. Hmm….. The Tarot Moon (to me) is often about exploring the unknown, especially insofar as our deepest feelings are concerned. It, unfortunately, often carries difficult connotations of unhappiness and confusion (a bit more like the Lenormand Clouds). On the other hand in some cases it highlights deep wells of creativity that are accessible to the person being read. 

Given what I've already stated about my day, this Moon still fits. I don't like misunderstandings, or losing my cool. The person I argued with is most certainly feeling the dark side of the Moon, and a distinct lack of the creative energies that Moon offers, and that has definitely colored my morning, and left me feeling slightly melancholy (also a Moon-y trait). 

Two Moons in one morning! And a third tonight - the Blood Moon will shine, and they say that this eclipse is bringing some particularly challenging elements with it, so hey, it all fits nicely, now doesn't it? ;-)

Update: I also had quite a nice evening at mediumship class - very much the Moon it all its positive glory! And at 3am I was out under the dark sky watching that red moon! (Where's the second round of coffee???)

Soul Essence

I was having a 6 of Cups moment…. remembering back to how I experienced life as a kid, how I experienced myself.  I was thinking about how we change as we grow older, as we experience life in all its pain and ecstasy, and how still, at our very center, there's a critical element that never changes, our soul essence. 

For many years I struggled with who and what I would be when I grew up. I studied Anthropology during my first stint at university because it was the only major that appealed to me… the culture, language, humanity, spirituality. I'm glad for my degree but even Anthropology wasn't entirely "it." I went to graduate school for linguistics…super interesting, and yet I still felt lost. I remember walking with Jorge (my husband) one afternoon a few years ago, talking about this frustration, this sense that I still (after two college degrees and the development of a fine teaching career) felt like I couldn't pin my finger on what I was really supposed to be doing. So many people dive head first into their lives and seem to know just what to do. I envied those people who found an educational and career path that deeply fulfilled them. 

As a kid I always lived with one foot in the spirit world, and the other on the earth. What do you do with that? I told Jorge, "You know, what I really feel is that if we lived hundreds of years ago, we'd be those people serving as herbalists or shamanic practitioners. But we don't live in that world. We live in a different place where we have to choose from other paths that don't fit us quite right." This was a time when I had no idea that people read Tarot for a living, or even practiced shamanism as part of their life's work. I really understood it to be a closed door. That didn't stop me from dabbling in divination, dream interpretation, or from being keenly aware of the beauty of intuitive messages, but I certainly didn't have a focus for any of that exploration.

I read Siddhartha (Herman Hesse) in college and felt so deeply connected to his story, in terms of the way in which he sort of strayed from his path (I'm not sure "stray" is the right word) and delved deeply into the material world for long years before stumbling back toward his purpose. I always hoped that I, too, would figure out what the hell I was supposed to really be doing. I set my deep connection to spirituality aside for years as I pursued my Master's degree, expanded my family, developed my career. Only within the last year have I been pulled back, through an interesting series of events, and I've been feeling grateful for that. I've felt happier than I have in years, and I feel I'm much more closely aligned to my true path now than I ever have before… at least since I was very young. I don't regret anything - working in the material world helps us grow roots, get our hands dirty, and I think being grounded is essential - a prerequisite of sorts - to making spiritual progress. Nothing is more grounding than having kids! I had to "leave the path" for a while in order to end up where I am now. And I'm grateful for that, too.

So I was sitting and playing with my cards the other day, pondering all of this, and I decided to lay out some cards around "my soul essence." I pulled the King of Cups, the 4 of Cups reversed, and the King of Wands reversed, with the Knight of Cups as the "shadow" card (from the bottom of the deck). Wow, a lot of court cards!! 

Golden Tarot - Kat Black
US Games

The Knight felt to me like spiritual pursuit, and I suppose that at my core that is the path I've always been walking. Learning, growing, expanding, falling off the horse a few times, getting back on, making mistakes, struggling, developing.

The King of Cups is master of emotions, a healer, wise, patient, calm and gentle, sensitive but grounded. A couple of months ago my mom bought me a clay tile with a heron on it in honor of the King of Vessels from the Wildwood Tarot, to whom she seems to feel I'm connected. I was really happy about the gift, and I love the Heron and its symbolism, but I remember wondering why she thought I was particularly connected to that energy. Then I thought back and remembered a friend reading for me back in the autumn, and pulling the King of Cups for me, which at the time I was intrigued by, because I don't automatically associate that card with myself. So seeing this King, all of that came flooding into my mind. I'd love to think of myself this way, though usually I think of myself as the Hermit - less outwardly engaged than a King tends to be. But healing has always been a deep passion of mine, and I do feel I'm pretty even-keeled emotionally. I love to support everyone's endeavors, hear all opinions and perspectives, though I also am clear when I feel something is off-balance and needs to be addressed. And in some way I'm not quite as nurturing as a Queen (I've always felt like this was a bad thing, like a weak point, but maybe it's just how I function??). 

The King of Wands was interesting to see, and this King has also come up for me before (what's with all the King energy??). It's reversed and that makes sense to me, because fire is not my cup of tea. In fact I'm currently working on exploring this energy, developing my leadership abilities, my inner fire, my self-confidence, and the ability to be outspokenly "me."  I'm not outspoken, usually. I'm pretty quiet in general, and I'm probably over-sensitive to stepping on toes, or not being liked. I'm learning that in order to develop inner balance I need to be okay with not pleasing everyone. It's an impossible task anyway! 

The combination of these two kings is interesting in that in a sense it's uniting polar opposites, water and fire. For the past year I've received a lot of 2 Cups/Lovers....uniting the two within me, balancing passive energy with active. Passivity is my comfort zone. The King of Wands is also about career and spirituality, which is interesting because I'm in the process of shifting my career from teaching to divination, and it's very much underdeveloped, raw energy at this point. The reversal is very appropriate.

So then the 4 of Cups serves a bridge from passive energy to active energy. When I saw this card I thought "late bloomer." It touches on my tendency to be emotionally separate/quiet/withdrawn in terms of expressiveness, and starting to learn to reach out. One of Mary Greer's meanings for the 4 of Cups reversed is "the practice of divination." How fitting!  I'm moving from passive Cups energy to active Wands energy, engaging the world through the practice of divination. It's a way of tapping into my core nature and allowing it to become the focus of my life rather than settling for it always being on the back burner. 

Personal readings like this can be deeply healing and affirming. This reading will be tucked away somewhere easily accessible so that when I'm having moments of frustration or self-doubt I can pull it out and remind myself that I'm doing the right thing.

So what's your soul essence? How are you utilizing it in your active, daily life? Do you feel you are paying enough attention to who you truly are? How can you honor yourself more intentionally? If you choose to read on the topic of your soul essence, I'd love to hear what you get, and how it touches you!

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Cards I Don't Love to See in Love Readings (Part 1)

I've had a higher-than-usual number of romance readings in the past week, and it's had me thinking about lovely, and not-so-lovely cards for love. There are a lot of cards in a Tarot deck, and all offer a range of challenging-to-pleasant meanings (some admittedly much more/less pleasant than others!). There are cards that tend to provoke visceral, negative reactions in us at first sight - the Tower, 10 of Swords, 3 of Swords, to name a few. And then there are some cards that seem fairly positive at first glance, but which I often find hold difficult energy when they pop up in a love reading. There are several cards that fall into this category, but in this post I'm only going to cover one: the Hierophant.

The Hierophant

Golden Tarot/Kat Black
US Games

This is a card that many associate with "marriage," and it's fair to say that that can be one of its meanings. This is a card I feel represents teaching and learning, structured beliefs, grounded and ancestral spirituality, and group-related activity. This might seem promising as an outcome card in a love reading where the querent wants to know if a relationship will reconcile, or develop into something significant, and in certain cases it may well suggest such a positive possibility. However in most cases I've found the Hierophant to be something a bit less promising. In some instances it has shown up as a rather rigid person who is so focused on traditional roles and/or community pressure that he/she either proves to be a difficult partner, or simply isn't willing to pursue a deeper relationship with the querent. In other cases it's appeared in readings where the querent was involved, or considering involvement, with a married person. In this context it usually indicated that the married-person-in-question would remain loyal to his/her marriage when all was said and done, leading to the demise of the querent's relationship. So while it might be tempting to see the Hierophant and think "marriage, making it official," etc., it pays to be very careful with this card, and to take into very close account the other cards in the spread, and the overall feel that the reading is giving off.

..to be continued…!

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Taroscopes for February 2014

So this is a little bit late due to the madness of the weekend, but here are the February Taroscopes, as promised! I've used my new Golden Tarot (Kat Black) which I received on Saturday and am enjoying immensely (it's so lovely!).

Golden Tarot - Kat Black
US Games

Capricorn - 10 of Cups: Enjoy your family this month! Play games, plan some outings, or just sit back and watch some good movies over popcorn and hot chocolate. Your loved ones should be your primary focus this month, and Valentine's Day will probably glow with joy.

Aquarius - 4 of Coins: Budget, yes, financial planning is always helpful. Just don't forget to enjoy yourself a tiny bit this month in order to off-set all your planning. Open yourself up, and treat yourself to something special. Who cares if you're single? Make V-Day work for you!

Pisces - Queen of Cups: Love and be loved this month! Whatever support and encouragement you give to others is bound to come back to you three-fold.

Aries - King of Wands: Try not to get ahead of yourself this month - deep breaths! If you're finding it a challenge to get people to follow your lead, or things just aren't feeling up to snuff, simply take a moment to calm your mind and put things into perspective.

Taurus - Knight of Wands: A feisty card for you this month! Your creative energies will be flowing and will usher you into a period of faster-paced movement - you should get some things accomplished!

Gemini - 7 of Cups: So many options….this month try to narrow down your choices and make a decision! You can't act until you know which direction you're heading in, and this month the bubble just may *pop* leading you to some fresh clarity.

Cancer - 8 of Swords: You're only as limited as you think you are. Don't let yourself be hemmed in by self-imposed barriers this month - if you really want it, you can find a way to make it happen.

Leo - 3 of Coins: You may not be feeling up to working with others this month. You like your independence, but lately you've been playing well as a team member, which is great. However sometimes you just want to pull out and do things your own way, and February might just be that kind of month for you. Take some time to rehash your long-term goals.

Virgo - Moon: The great unknown looms about you, and can leave you feeling a bit uncertain about what your best options lie. If you feel frustrated or confused, tap into your dreams and intuition and use your own inner wisdom and creative flow to help guide you.

Libra - 6 of Cups: Trust that where you are now is where you're meant to be, and don't dwell on "what could have been" this month, even if you're tempted. Enjoy Valentine's Day even if you end up flying solo on the couch with your favorite box of chocolates and a glass of amazing red wine.

Scorpio - 10 of Coins: Don't make any rash decisions this month! If your tax return isn't what you'd hoped for, yes, that sucks, but readjust your perspective and see if there's another way to approach your goals. Reign it in this month, and be creative with what you have.

Sagittarius - Page of Wands: You're fiery and sometimes when your ideas don't charge forth with purpose and ease you can feel that flame dim. If you're having doubts about how to take your project to the next level, recalibrate your plans, tap into your abundant creativity, and let it guide you on!

Have a wonderful February, and make the most of your Valentine's Day!!! Peace!

Super Bowl XLVIII Prediction

Yeah… I don't follow sports and didn't even know who was playing until I looked it up on the internet today, but I thought I'd join the throngs of diviners who are making "for fun" predictions about the outcome of this big match today!

So apparently the majority seem to be showing the Broncos as the favored team, and I assumed that when I pulled my own cards I'd see the same result. But no…. At first I pulled three cards for each team:

Broncos

Queen of Coins reversed - 4 Swords reversed - Empress reversed

Yikes. That didn't look promising. In particular I see a lack of communication on the team, and things not coming together the way they'd planned. Their "bottom of the deck" card was Judgement which is a pretty intense card that could help them, however.

Sea Hawks

High Priestess - Emperor - 4 Swords reversed

So the 4 Swords made another appearance - very interesting!!! All the same, the other two cards are upright Trumps, and the Emperor at the center of it all shows strong leadership and organization, probably due to the coach and/or an important player (MVP). The High Priestess gives the feeling that there's an unknown element that will play to their favor. Their "bottom of the deck" card was the Wheel of Fortune, which is a pretty favorable card for them to receive!

Okay so I was feeling like the Sea Hawks had the advantage, but still wasn't willing to own it in public, especially with the Big Guns in Tarot coming out with readings favoring the Broncos.  So I decided to pull two more cards - one to gauge the Broncos' likelihood of winning, and the other to determine that of the Sea Hawks:

Broncos: 9 of Coins reversed

Sea Hawks: Queen of Coins

Golden Tarot - Kat Black
US Games

Alright so that did it for me. I am officially announcing that I feel the Sea Hawks will win this big game (just look at that Queen - doesn't she just *know* she's got it in the bag??)

Now I'll just sit tight and eat some potato chips and onion dip while awaiting the final score! :)

Update: the Sea Hawks crushed the Broncos.

Mabon Blog Hop 2013 - Persephone, the High Priestess

Welcome to the Mabon Blog Hop 2013!  You may be moving on from Jordan Hoggard's blog, or backward from Christiana Gaudet's Tarot Trends blog.  If at any point you want to see the Master List of participating blogs/people, click here.

One of my favorite myths is that of Demeter and Persephone, and the birth of Autumn and Winter.  As we celebrate the coming of Fall, it's a beautiful myth to consider.  My earliest memories of hearing this myth were as a kid, perhaps 12 years old, as my mother would bring Greek myth to life while doing Tarot readings.  I would sit, mesmerized, as her words brought me into another world. She used - and still uses - the Mythic Tarot (Juliet Sharman-Burke, Liz Greene, and Tricia Newell), which winds Greek stories throughout the Major and Minor Arcana.

There are a lot of aspects of the Persephone myth that attract me.  One is how it highlights the relationship between mother and daughter.  My mother was always one of my favorite people.  I have always loved and respected her, and she was in many ways my first spiritual teacher.  Now I'm an adult with children of my own (two of them daughters) and I have the gift of experiencing this relationship from the other pole, for which I'm grateful.

Golden Tarot - Liz Dean
Cisco Books 2012

Part of this relationship involves the aspect of separation - the child grows up, becomes a young woman, perhaps gets married (or moves away).  The myth touches on the pain of letting go.  I remember going through this stage when I was engaged and married many years ago.  There is some degree of renegotiation of roles in the relationship that takes place.  It's an adjustment, but the relationship is not entirely supplanted.  Mom will always be mom, will always love her kids, and will always be involved in her children's lives, in some way.  Similarly, Demeter was in grief when her daughter Persephone ended up married to Hades, and was taken to live in the Underworld.  Because Persephone had eaten several pomegranate seeds she was bound to split her time between the Under and Upper Worlds.  In Demeter's sadness the plants began to die, the nights became longer, the cold set in, life became more difficult.  But when Persephone was able to rise again to spend time in the Upper World with her mother, Spring came, the days became warm, food became abundant, and all was well with the world.  Demeter's gift to humankind was the knowledge of how to grow and store wheat so that there would be sustenance during the cold days of Winter.  So to me it speaks of the grief inherent in love, and the life that still flows despite working through difficult times.

Persephone has a place in Tarot, as the High Priestess of the Major Arcana.  This also happens to be
one of my favorite cards in the deck, and one with which I identify in many ways.  She represents hidden things, secret knowledge, femininity, intuition, the balance of dark and light, the realm of the unconscious.

As Persephone descends into the Underworld, and Demeter's grief escorts us into the dark of Fall and Winter, I thought I would create a little spread that focuses on our inner sun - the light we carry within us.  Fall and Winter is our time for reflection and renewal, and at times we need to remember our strengths, and the gifts we have to offer.  This is the Inner-Sun Spread:

1: Me, now: King of Pentacles reversed - I'm working on balancing out my inner King. I feel I embody many of his traits (supporting those around me, being even-keeled, etc.), but especially in terms of economic equilibrium, it's something on-going.

2: The gifts I have to share: King of Wands - I have a deep inner energy to make things happen in my life; I'm comfortable in my own skin; when I set myself to a task I know I can accomplish it; I'm not afraid of transformation - shedding my skin, moving on to a new phase of life.

3: The gifts I'm still developing: 3 of Wands - I'm still in the process of building on what I've begun - working toward my soul purpose; that's me out on the hill looking out toward the horizon. I am determining where I want to go and how best to get there, taking stock of the situation.

4: My deepest desires: 7 of Cups reversed - More than anything else, I want to make my dreams and deepest goals come to life, be realized.  The King of Wands suggests I'll be able to get there, but I'll have to be sure to ground my dreams through the King of Pentacles.

5: Advice for manifesting my desires: 4 of Swords - I can best achieve my desires through quiet contemplation, reviewing where I've come from and where I want to go, careful planning, and taking time to gather my energies before leaping forward.

The summary card for my reading is Temperance: balance; moving forward; patience and surety; the path ahead is clear; quiet contemplation.

Over all it feels good, and reflects where I feel that I'm at, and where I'm going.  It's a nice confirmation that I have what it takes to achieve my goals, and the 4 of Swords is the perfect card for Mabon, as we move into the time of rest and quiet thought and review.

If you decide to try out this spread, please let me know how it goes! :)

With that I will end my post for the Mabon Blog Hop 2013, feeling very happy to have just participated in my first of hopefully many more to come!

You may now be moving down the list to Christiana Gaudet's Tarot Trend blog or backward to Jordan Hoggard's blog.  Don't forget that you can access the Master list here.  Happy Hopping, and Feliz Mabon!

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Digging In Deep

My daily draw today was the Hermit (with Liz Dean’s Golden Tarot).

This is one of my favorite cards, so it was a welcome sight.  So what does this card mean to me?  Well, as usual, it’s very fitting!

Golden Tarot - Liz Dean

I’ve been studying Tarot intensely for a while now.  I’ve read books, absorbed online resources, practiced analyzing different ways of understanding spreads (elemental dignities, numerology, etc.).  These have all been extremely positive for me.  But I’ve reached the point where it’s time to go within.  It’s time to spend alone time with my cards, to study their images and what those images mean to me – not just what the books and websites say they mean.  Yesterday evening I settled down with my tablet and thought: “What site will I spend time on today?”  I drew a blank – I wasn’t being pulled anywhere in particular.  I had the feeling that I’d already explored everything valuable online.  Having all of that knowledge about various card meanings is great, and forms a wonderful foundation for Tarot study.  I adore reading (and will continue to read) other Tarot readers’ blogs to hear about their experiences and learn from the manner in which they work with the cards.  And in the future I’ll use the internet to take the plunge into free reading.  But it’s time to dig in deeper.  My intuition is exploding, and the trust I place in it is growing rapidly.  

Two nights ago I read a real-life sample spread on a popular website, and treated it as if I had received the question from a querent, and pulled those cards.  I worked my way through each one, thought about the story being told, and came to my conclusions about what I would tell the querent if she were my own client.  Afterward I read through other people’s interpretations.  Many were similar, but veered away from mine in various ways – and of course that caused me to doubt myself, and what I was seeing in the cards.  Then I finally read the feedback from the original client, and it reflected my interpretation almost identically.  All those areas where I had second-guessed myself were actually right on.  It was a rewarding moment, and I realized that I can actually do this with people I don’t know.  I learn from reading others’ takes on spreads, so it’s a valuable learning experience.  But I need to focus more on my own intuitions and discernment, and how the cards speak to me.  

So it’s time to swim beneath the surface, delve deeper into my own personal relationship with Tarot.  The hourglass hanging from the tree, and the light of the Hermit's lantern are saying "slow down, and take time to deepen your understanding." This is what the Hermit represents to me today.

Fire, Water, Earth

There has been some struggling a bit recently in my department with a new employee who was hired in to support our other staff.  Though his credentials are similar to the rest of the people in the department, he has less experience, and so started at a slightly lower position, with a possibility for promotion.  In a lot of ways he's really nice, seems to have a good sense of humor, and is a smart guy.  On the other hand he definitely comes across at times as being overconfident in his knowledge and ability, and sometimes ends up making mistakes for these reasons.  Mistakes can be the best learning tools, but only if you're humble enough to recognize them, and there has been some low level conflict resulting from clashes between the new employee and more established faculty.  

I decided to do a three-card spread with undesignated positions, asking the question "what would be helpful for me to understand about this employee?"  I used my Golden Tarot deck.

7 of Wands: he's confident in his abilities, and is determined to prove it.  He was hired in at a lower position but views himself as an equal.  

The Moon: there are uncertainties surrounding him, which may come from the other employees who aren't sure what to think of him yet. But it could also represent his own inflated perception of his skills and abilities.

8 of Pentacles: if he accepts his position as a temporary assignment meant to help him gain experience and improve his abilities, he will be successful.  There is room to grow in the organization, so he should see this as a valuable opportunity to learn more about his field.  

That is good confirmation about what's going on.  Now.  If this were a single question posed to me via email, would I have come to the same conclusions?  I think for the most part I would, perhaps with some minor changes.  It's hard to say.  But I like to pose these questions to myself as a challenge.

A Knight, The World, and The Empress: 3 Days in a Nutshell

I didn’t post my daily draws for the past three days, so I thought I’d do that now, just to try to keep up the practice of reporting what I pulled and how it related to my day!

Today is Monday (ugh). 

On Saturday I pulled the Knight of Swords, using my Golden Tarot deck.  Well, as much as I love to see other suits, it was fitting all the same.  It was pretty much Jorge.  He woke up on the wrong side of bed, and was irritable for most of the day, until late afternoon/early evening.  Sometimes just the acknowledgement of what your day is bringing you is enough to make it easier to deal with, to keep in mind that it’s just a moment, and won’t last.  To take it in stride.  That’s one of the important benefits of daily draws, I would say.  And while the day was pretty Knight of Swordsy, the evening ended on a positive note.

Morgan Greer Tarot

On Sunday I pulled The World, using my new Morgan Greer deck.  That’s what I’m talking about!  Not a sword in sight! ;-)  (To be fair I do appreciate and value the messages the suit of Swords delivers, but sometimes I just want a break!).  Realizing goals, getting active and involved, healing, synthesis, contentment and fulfillment.  Quite an auspicious card, really! I wasn’t sure I’d be able to live up to it!!!  But it did color my day in many ways.  I made inquiries about two courses I want to take at a local shop – one on herbs and the other on intuitive Tarot.  I purchased ritual candles and a small bottle for holding consecrated oil.  I bought some Hawthorn berries for a tea I wanted to make (due to a haphazard reading about my health I’d done that morning which worried me and made me want to take some action!).  And to top it off, that evening I did the most affirming reading (with my DruidCraft deck) about my future with Tarot which really brought everything together and gave me a strong feeling that I’m heading in the right direction.  I followed that up with a one-card-draw from my Druid Animal Oracle to ask what animal teachings would be most helpful on my path, and pulled the Seal card (connecting to your Unconscious; Feminine energy and teachings; opening yourself to following your dreams).  Not only was the message in line with my reading, but the card features a cloudy sky with a rainbow.  A few minutes later I put the cards away and Jorge and Lourdes and I went out for an evening walk… when I looked up there was the most beautiful rainbow hanging in a hazy sky.  I’ve never seen a rainbow by our house before, so it felt like another sort of confirmation, and it was a really beautiful moment for me, on many levels, kind of left me in awe.  So The World seemed fitting for my day yesterday.

Morgan Greer Tarot

Today I almost didn’t even have time to pull a card.  And let me say that it was quite the incomplete process.  I was hurriedly shuffling my Morgan Greer deck (I’m trying to switch it up now that I have three decks, so each one gets a little attention) and wasn’t even able to finish one shuffle before Gabriel and Jorge came in the room, and I needed to change Gabriel’s diaper, and Jorge started organizing the bed sheets.  So I just gave up shuffling, and cut the deck once and it was the Empress (how very fitting, given the surrounding activity!).  I put that on the back burner and ran out the door.  Despite the incompleteness of the shuffle/selection process I decided to go with it!  On my way to work I thought about it, and feel it’s telling me that the most important aspects of my day today will involve my family.  Jorge had a hard morning today with aches and pains he can’t identify the cause of, and feeling really tired.  So I feel the need to be supportive of him, so that he can get some rest.  Except I’m going to be at work for most of the day!  So I’m going to help him as much as possible from afar (planning the grocery list, etc) and then later when I get home try to give him some down time, and see what activities I can come up with for the kids.  To me today is all about giving extra support to my family in both roles: wife and mother.

I’m out.