2017: Challenges and Hidden Treasures

The instructions given by Mr. Lionharts were rather simple: intentionally select three cards to represent your central challenges of 2017. Then, let the cards suggest advice for each one.

The first part was, unfortunately, a quick task for me; this past year has been one of the hardest in the last decade or so. All three of these cards have come up for me on so many occasions throughout the year that I’ve entirely lost count.

Ancient Italian Tarot - Lo Scarabeo

Temperance was my “card of the year,” drawn last December as the theme for 2017. Finding balance, healing, losing equilibrium, tearing open wounds, throwing a stick in the alchemical spokes, regaining balance, learning how to live with disharmony, learning that disharmony is a powerful tool, learning how to seek balance once again. The 8 of Swords has had me identifying and attempting to destroy extremely outdated paradigms that were restricting my growth. The Tower - ah the Tower - has made a deep and potent friend out of fire and destruction. Watch it all burn, and see what is left when the ashes are carried away by the wind. Catharsis. It’s not over yet, but I do think that I’ve crested the summit and am heading down the other side of the mountain.

On to part two: advice for each challenge.

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot - Uusi.us

The Queen of Fire speaks to Temperance. She has been a regular feature of my 2017, so it shouldn’t be a surprise to see her here. She matches the heat of Temperance’s alchemy, hot and cold, a conflagration, a waning intensity. When I am her, reversed, it’s not much use talking to me; I am a ball of fire ready to reduce my interlocutor to ashes. But it is part of the birthing of her dynamic and deeply powerful essence within me. When I am her, upright, I enjoy engaging new people like never before - the hermit out of the cave - I hunger for connection, I laugh, I consume the beauty around me like a starving animal. This isn’t so much advice as a recognition that provides helpful perspective. I know this about myself, now. Some days balance is easier to achieve than others. I am learning to integrate this Queen into my soul, and that’s a process.

The Knight of Pentacles speaks to the 8 of Swords. Releasing those old and restrictive paradigms requires steady progress, one foot ahead of the other. I can measure it in small but tangible differences in my everyday life. It feels like I’ve been walking forever and the landscape has changed little. But one day I look up and can see the plains stretching out below me; little changes make all the difference in how I perceive the world around me, and remind me that I am indeed moving.

The 6 of Cups speaks to the Tower. I call this my “re-membering” card; through it I pull back the parts of myself that I’ve lost along the way. The Tower built of concessions, limitations, “buts,” “oughts,” “can’ts,” hard histories, and the stories I tell myself.... it falls. And in its destruction I find myself again.

Here's to closing out a thoroughly transformative year and inviting in 2018!

Marseille and the Devil on April Fool's Day

Today is the first day of April, also known widely as April Fool's Day. Many years ago when I was a kid, I used to thoroughly enjoy playing tricks on people (to be honest, my antics weren't relegated to one day per year, but it's nice to have a day dedicated to trickery!). I remember once when I pretended to have a lengthy conversation with my friend on the telephone (back when landlines were a thing), discussing all sorts of outlandish topics much to my older sister's entertainment and surprise....until the phone actually rang and my ruse was up. My sister was certainly my preferred target (insert devil emoticon).

While I left pranks behind long ago, I ended up giving birth to a new generation of trickster: my daughter Lourdes. She so embodies the energy of "playful naughtiness" that we dubbed her the "Devil," and her favorite depiction in the Tarot is from the Deviant Moon by Patrick Valenza:

This Devil not only features her famous grin, but he is doing her hallmark prance as well. And though I didn't witness it myself, I'm pretty certain that this is how she looked this morning as she was creeping around the house setting up various traps for us to fall into!

This was slipped under my door this morning:

To be fair, last night Lourdes consulted me about the best way to create fake poo: peanut butter and Hershey's syrup, she asked? No, I said - use cocoa powder instead of syrup - less drippy. So I suppose in some way I'm complicit. And my cards seem to agree:

Claude Burdel 1751 Tarot de Marseille 

I recently delved into the world of Marseille (I'm just so completely rapturous about the beauty of these cards!) and am still figuring out how I want to approach reading them. Some people apply RWS meanings to the minor cards, others take a more cartomantic approach, and still others absorb the shapes, colors, and movement in the illustrations and allow that to inform their readings. The funny thing is, all reading styles seem to reach similar conclusions with this trio:

In RWS, the 6 of Wands is about success and recognition, and the 6 of Cups is about childhood, memory, reminiscing, innocent joy. So in that sense I see myself (as the Queen of Cups) remembering my own prankster days (6 of Cups), and supporting my daughter in her endeavors (also 6 of Cups), giving her helpful advice so that her work is a success (6 of Wands) and is appreciated by everyone (also 6 of Wands).

According to Yoav Ben Dov's Marseille meanings, the 6 of Wands represents an alliance of two people working toward perhaps different end-goals, but who share a common interest (very true), and the 6 of Cups not only also relates to a personal alliance, but more importantly "repetition between different generations in the family." Hm. Yep!

This morning I stumbled into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee, and as I went to the sink to fill the carafe, I was showered in water from the sink sprayer, which had been rigged into the "on" position with rubber bands. I'm pretty sure I shrieked in surprise and with the sudden coldness seeping through my shirt. In that light, this arrangement of cards took on a very literal meaning: those six cups are dousing the Queen as she approaches them with her coffee pot, and the 6 of Wands now looks like a great big "X" warning me to beware.

So there you have it!

November Cards: Believe In Yourself

Admittedly a bit late, I've decided to pull some "cards of the month" for November. Rather than use assigned positions, I simply pulled a line of three from the Pagan Otherworlds Tarot, and an oracle card from the Dat Black Mermaid Man Lady deck.

Judgment - 6 of Cups - Chariot

Ole Caney Sharp - Divine Opportunity

I sat down with cards and coffee on my son's race car rug in the early hours of Saturday morning as he played superhero next to me with his trucks and an assortment of miscellaneous items. It was a nice way to start the weekend.

I understood the significance of this line almost immediately. Though my job focuses primarily on directing an English language program, I have recently been called to give presentations on cultural awareness. Language acquisition is a small aspect of the overall theme, but much of the "weightier" material delves into concepts of religious diversity, racism, and cultural labeling. This sort of work is a passion of mine. My undergraduate degree is in Cultural Anthropology, and most of my adult life has involved addressing injustice, increasing awareness of the beautiful fabric and texture of human existence, and preserving ancient legacies - language, traditions - before they are lost in an ever-expanding globalized society. I am one half of an interracial marriage, and my children straddle a number of cultural and racial divides that will likely bring them (in addition to many joys) frustrations from an outside world that struggles to place things (and people) in tidy (and utterly limiting) boxes. Throughout my life I have worked in various roles in places that include Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota, central city urban neighborhoods, immigrant communities, and the Basque Country, Spain. Honoring and understanding the breadth and depth of humankind, and facilitating that understanding in other people, is extraordinarily important to me. 

An initial invitation to give a presentation to administrators who support international students gave way to a second invitation to present on cultural awareness to a group of faculty members from two different departments, which then led to a third invitation to present to yet another department at the end of the month. Judgment is an interesting card because it both represents the elements of this work that feel like a true "calling" and it also touches on how hard I am on myself. After that first presentation I ruthlessly beat myself up about "what people might have thought," and "how much more clearly I should have explained [insert topic]." My husband was a bit shocked at what he dubbed my "self punishment." And he was right - that is exactly what I was doing to myself. Ultimately I received so much positive feedback that I came to understand that it "wasn't that bad" after all (!) which was both a relief and a blessing. When the day came to present for the second time, my daily draw was Judgement. I didn't think about it at the time, but later I realized that perhaps this was touching on something deeper than I was acknowledging. (And that session went very well!)

The 6 of Cups represents this connection to who I have always been, my essential self, that part of me that has remained unchanged since childhood. In doing this work I'm tapping into a voice that has a lot to say; a part of myself that has gathered experience and perspective over many years, and is primed for expression. The Chariot gathers all of that up and carries it forth into the world. It tells me that I have a lot to do, and so much more to develop and explore in this capacity. As I approach my third presentation, I've already started to consider how to expand into a "part two." There is so much that can be discussed in the broad arena of diversity and cross-cultural understanding, and in the current limit of two hours I can only scratch the surface. I see that there is a need for it, and a place, as well, and that will spur me onward in the coming months and year ahead. 

Ole Caney Sharp represents the energy of Elegua, my dear friend and road-opener. When I read the advice on the back of the card I had to laugh in appreciation. It says: 

Let your questions go

you ain't got to know.

You thinks too much

that's why you stuck.

Get on up

and fly.

I have spent a lot of time lately considering how much I over-think, over-worry, and thereby limit myself. This card is a pointed reminder that (as illustrated by my intense - and unfounded - self-criticism following my first presentation) I tend to clip my own wings, and that it's a good moment to let go of that bad habit and see where the winds take me.....

6 of Cups: Joy and Reunion

This morning I drew the 6 of Cups from the Navigators Tarot of the Mystic SEA, and it's quite apt and lovely for today. This card represents memories, reuniting with friends or loved ones from your past, and soft, pleasant love. It also carries the essence of childhood: spending time with children, considering your own childhood, and embracing the innocence of children. All of these meanings are appropriate for today as my mother flies in this afternoon, and will escort my kids north tomorrow morning. Today is a day of enjoying my babes, welcoming my mom into my home, and recalling the adventures I had with my family as a child as we would make long drives out east to visit aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Navigators Tarot of the Mystic SEA
J. Turk

The image in today's card captures the element of happy reunion; a person stands at a table, perhaps waiting for the party to begin, and turns, surprised, as a long-awaited guest arrives and touches him on the arm. Their proximity indicates the closeness of their relationship, and the pinks and oranges, the flowers and candles, all give a gentle warmth to the scene. In the background an open door can partially be seen, with blue sky and broad landscape beyond...who else is on the way?

My oldest daughter is planning a big dinner for tonight, so we will end up having a party of our own - a light-hearted, loving send-off as our kids' big adventure begins!

Samhain Blog Hop: Catching Fireflies in Glass Jars

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Happy Halloween, Happy Samhain!

Welcome to the 2014 Samhain Blog Hop! Please use the links at the top or bottom of this post to navigate through the other wonderful blogs in this circle.

Louise Underhill, from Priestess Tarot, asked us to describe (using our cards, naturally) a guest that we'd like to invite to a Samhain tea. It could be someone real or imaginary, someone known to us or someone famous. I always struggle with these sorts of scenarios, kind of like when someone asks you to name your hero, or your favorite music group of all time.

But this time I thought it would be nice to invite the spirit of my grandma Dorothy (my mother's mother) to spend some time with me on Samhain eve. I have fond memories of my grandma, though they be few in number, and connecting with her is something meaningful to me since I was never able to properly know her in life. I decided to pull three cards from my Golden Tarot deck, and in addition I, as usual, took a peek at the card at the bottom of the deck for an underlying theme or energy of the spread. 

Golden Tarot - Kat Black
U.S. Games Systems

This bottom card was: 6 of Cups. My, how fitting! Having tea with my grandmother's memory is precisely what this card is all about. I'm traveling down memory lane, remembering aspects of my young childhood, those that she was a part of…Life was certainly simpler then, and the image on this card could well be me and my sister in Dorothy's back yard, a place we spent a lot of time. The tree could be Dorothy's cherry tree; I remember the excitement with which we would pluck the fruit from its branches when ripe (even then, the notion of harvesting one's own food was great fun for me!). Now on to the central questions….

1) How would Dorothy describe herself? 2 of Cups
2) What would she like to talk about? 10 of Coins
3) What messages might she have for me? 10 of Swords

Golden Tarot - Kat Black
U.S. Games Systems

The first card filled my heart with a strong sense of understanding of the love that she carried within. Dorothy died when I was five years old. She had a difficult life, marrying twice (the first at a young age) and bearing six children across the span of it. I know that towards the end of her life she struggled quite a bit with relationships; I think she was just tired. My mom told me that when she was pregnant with me, Dorothy had told her, "I don't think I'm capable of loving any more people." But when I came into the world, she found that she was quite able to open her heart to me. I know that my grandmother adored her children, no matter how many steep obstacles she had to contend with along the way. The Two of Cups speaks to the healing and wholeness offered by love, and I hope that she has found that for herself. She is certainly still loved, even in memory.

The second card actually made me laugh a bit, oh my clever grandma….. She wants to talk about the powerful legacy of the family home, a very pertinent topic for this moment. One of the things I recall most about being in my grandmother's house was the activity. When I was a child we lived in Cheshire, Connecticut, and our own home was right next door to my grandmother's house, so there was constant communication and interaction. Many of our extended family lived nearby, so we often found ourselves playing and eating with our cousins, aunts, and uncles. I distinctly remember a group of us playing with GI Joe figurines in Dorothy's dusty attic. I remember catching fireflies in glass jars on summer evenings, and hunting for the perfect twig in the grass; if it passed inspection, an adult would tie a string to both ends to make our very own bow. I even remember tearing across the back yard on my Big Wheels trike, feeling pretty adventurous and cool. There is something special and "right" in family togetherness. Oftentimes it revolves around a central home, belonging perhaps to a matriarch or patriarch, that serves as the anchor of family unity. It's the nucleus, it is the hearth of the family heart. And it's the keeper of that precious legacy that is the root of a family's strength. We had that in Connecticut, and we don't have that now in the same way. My grandmother died long ago. We moved to Michigan and created a new life. Now I am living with my own family in Florida, and in these ways we continue to spread ourselves thin, stretching the energetic ties of our kin like rubber bands across vast stretches of terrain. Mambo Vye Zo has written about this sort of tie, the family "Oversoul", and says this about it:

Families often share an Oversoul that can have far reaching results.  If an Oversoul is something that is shared by two or more people, then a Family Oversoul is a deeper bond than mere pairing can create.  You share this Oversoul with your mother and father, as well as your siblings.  This Oversoul is the family vibe that runs through you all.  It descends from your grandparents' Oversoul or even further back, giving you a piece of their relationship with which you begin your own.

As I sit contemplating what the 10 of Coins means to me in the context of this Samhain visit with my grandmother, it is precisely this sense of our family's Oversoul that feels sharply defined, a thin yet steely vibration of ancestral connection threading its way through my deepest core. I am filled with a potent sense of urgency to relieve those deep stretches in our shared, energetic bond.

Just a few days ago my mother broached the topic of our coming back "home." Not to visit, but to stay. It's something we've thought of before, but you know how it goes - there are positives and negatives to everything, and in the end it's easier to stay put. But it goes beyond just missing each other. There is something deeper there, and the 10 of Coins feels like my grandmother's voice underscoring that topic. It's about restoring the core strength of the family, little by little. Giving our children grandparents to know intimately, to make memories with - there is no replacement for that. And there's no excuse for taking that away from them. With this card my grandmother is reminding me of what I had back then as a child, and encouraging me to make that a critical focal point as we seriously consider our next steps forward.

Photo Credit: Chantal Steyn

Not surprisingly, my grandmother's message to me is the 10 of Swords. This card, and the Death card, have been my followers of late. I know that big, at times painful, change is unfolding in my life at present. It sucks, I will be honest about that, and I'm certainly exhausted. But there's something therapeutic in catharsis. My grandmother is reassuring me of something I've sensed for a while now - that there is something new on the way. Although at times I'm not entirely sure just what it is, I do know that the only way to get there is to simply let go. Should we embrace the message of the previous card, there will certainly be some poignant 10 of Swords qualities to the transition. The truth is that there is something reassuring about knowing that all of the challenges and pain and difficulties are leading somewhere positive. That at its foundation this period is like birthing pains, that deep, primal pressure, the gasps when you start to wonder if you'll ever make it to the end….and then you do. And in that moment you realize that the fruit of your labor was so well worth it that you'd do it all over again. Yes, that is a bit what this feels like. And what a perfect meditation for Samhain, where we embrace death, rejoicing in the knowledge that a new life cycle is on its way.

So this Samhain I embrace and honor my grandmother Dorothy. I invite her to connect with me, to chat with me, to pass her wisdom on to me. I open my heart to receive her presence with gratitude and love.

Happy and blessed Samhain to you all!

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Jumped by the 6 of Cups

Yesterday I was at the park with my youngest child while his older sisters were at school. It was one of those days where the sun is hot, but the shade is comfortable, and there were no other kids around, which was a bit unusual. As my son came zooming down the tube slide, I bent over waiting for him to pop out at the bottom, the sun penetrating my back, the red glow of the slide glaring up at me….and suddenly I had a very vivid memory…

Harmonious Tarot - Lo Scarabeo

I suddenly found myself in full recollection of being a small child at a cook-out at my paternal grandmother's house on the East Coast of the United States. My father's family always had really good barbecues and attending them was a special treat: there were coolers full of all kinds of soda (root beer, grape soda, Coke, and my grandmother's special favorite - cream soda), an abundance of hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill, bowls overflowing with potato chips and pretzels, plates of fresh-cut vegetables and ranch dressing, simply dressed potato salad. "What do you want to drink, baby?" some random adult would ask me, and I'd get whatever kind of soda I wanted, a full can all to myself, even though I was probably only about 3 or 4 years old. There was a party atmosphere, kids playing here and there, adults scattered and engaged in conversation, someone tending the grill, water balloons and sprinklers.

All of that came flooding into my mind in an instant, and suddenly I just knew I wanted to recreate that kind of meal that night for dinner. So when we left the park, instead of heading home, we made a beeline for the nearest Winn-Dixie, and loaded up on chips, cream soda, hot dogs and ground beef, and even dill relish (which I don't think I've ever purchased before in my life!). At home I peeled and boiled potatoes, julienned the carrots, seasoned the beef and even made some ranch dressing from scratch. By the time the girls arrived home from school the soda cans were cold, and the potatoes were cooled and ready to be transformed into a salad. They were ecstatic.

I sent Jorge out to refill the propane tank for the grill, and as soon as he came back we were cooking up the burgers and dogs. It was awesome. I could barely finish my hot dog and the refrigerator is now full of burgers since I apparently was so intent on fulfilling my memory that I forgot I wasn't actually serving a large group of people, but that's okay! Leftovers are awesome too ;-)

So here's to Lillian - my grandmother - and her amazing barbecues. The 6 of Cups, a card of nostalgia and the simple joys of youth, pulled me into its voluminous depths and had its way with me. And it was good.