2017: Challenges and Hidden Treasures

The instructions given by Mr. Lionharts were rather simple: intentionally select three cards to represent your central challenges of 2017. Then, let the cards suggest advice for each one.

The first part was, unfortunately, a quick task for me; this past year has been one of the hardest in the last decade or so. All three of these cards have come up for me on so many occasions throughout the year that I’ve entirely lost count.

Ancient Italian Tarot - Lo Scarabeo

Temperance was my “card of the year,” drawn last December as the theme for 2017. Finding balance, healing, losing equilibrium, tearing open wounds, throwing a stick in the alchemical spokes, regaining balance, learning how to live with disharmony, learning that disharmony is a powerful tool, learning how to seek balance once again. The 8 of Swords has had me identifying and attempting to destroy extremely outdated paradigms that were restricting my growth. The Tower - ah the Tower - has made a deep and potent friend out of fire and destruction. Watch it all burn, and see what is left when the ashes are carried away by the wind. Catharsis. It’s not over yet, but I do think that I’ve crested the summit and am heading down the other side of the mountain.

On to part two: advice for each challenge.

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot - Uusi.us

The Queen of Fire speaks to Temperance. She has been a regular feature of my 2017, so it shouldn’t be a surprise to see her here. She matches the heat of Temperance’s alchemy, hot and cold, a conflagration, a waning intensity. When I am her, reversed, it’s not much use talking to me; I am a ball of fire ready to reduce my interlocutor to ashes. But it is part of the birthing of her dynamic and deeply powerful essence within me. When I am her, upright, I enjoy engaging new people like never before - the hermit out of the cave - I hunger for connection, I laugh, I consume the beauty around me like a starving animal. This isn’t so much advice as a recognition that provides helpful perspective. I know this about myself, now. Some days balance is easier to achieve than others. I am learning to integrate this Queen into my soul, and that’s a process.

The Knight of Pentacles speaks to the 8 of Swords. Releasing those old and restrictive paradigms requires steady progress, one foot ahead of the other. I can measure it in small but tangible differences in my everyday life. It feels like I’ve been walking forever and the landscape has changed little. But one day I look up and can see the plains stretching out below me; little changes make all the difference in how I perceive the world around me, and remind me that I am indeed moving.

The 6 of Cups speaks to the Tower. I call this my “re-membering” card; through it I pull back the parts of myself that I’ve lost along the way. The Tower built of concessions, limitations, “buts,” “oughts,” “can’ts,” hard histories, and the stories I tell myself.... it falls. And in its destruction I find myself again.

Here's to closing out a thoroughly transformative year and inviting in 2018!

A Road Map to Peace

I was watching Telemundo a few days ago when a Tarot reader popped on the screen to give each astrological sign a mini (as in 5 second) reading for the week. My first thought was: "They would never have a regular reader like this on English-language television." And then I took a look at his cards. I noticed that he was using a combination of two decks: an oracle that I didn't recognize, and the Osho Zen Tarot. For each sign he would pick a card from each deck, give rapid advice, and move on to the next. I wondered if he chose the Osho Zen deck because each card features a keyword that the reader could latch onto, which would facilitate this quick-fire style he was using in order to fit into his very limited time bracket. Or maybe he just thinks it's pretty.

It certainly has vibrant colors, and works as both a Tarot and an oracle, really. I decided to pull my own Osho Zen deck out for some general guidance, because I have a lot on my plate at the moment! I centered on the question: "What do I need to focus on in order to find peace and clarity?"

I pulled: 4 of Earth (The Miser), XVII Star (Silence), and XIV Temperance (Integration).

Osho Zen Tarot
Osho and Ma Deva Padma
St. Martin's Press, 1995

The Miser sprouts out of a stone wall, embracing mounds of gold and gems. She doesn't want to let go, but she doesn't look particularly healthy in her current situation. This makes sense to me, because in many ways I've been very focused on stability and security lately. In one important way I'm reluctantly anticipating some pretty big changes coming up that will impact my environment significantly, albeit for a finite amount of time. My husband is preparing to return to Europe for work, and may be gone for several months. Meanwhile my children will be heading north to spend eight weeks with their grandparents, as soon as school lets out for summer. Intellectually I can understand how all of this makes sense, and I know that it's temporary, and I am aware that there are many positives to this arrangement of events. But on an instinctual level I'm fighting it tooth and nail. I don't want my husband to be away again for three or more months, and I'm deeply frustrated that suitable work opportunities haven't presented themselves locally. I'm glad that my kids will spend time with my mother and step-dad. I know they'll have fun, and I know that they'll have more of a true vacation than I would be able to give them due to my own work schedule. But I can't stand the thought of them being gone for so long. It feels unnatural. So while I "know" everything will be fine, on a primal level I'm holding on tightly to everything.

All of that internal grappling is giving me a headache.

The Star in the Osho Zen deck is called "Silence." Just looking at the card reminds me of the peace of meditation, the centeredness that comes from spending some time going within. A face floats in space, stars hanging above, with the Moon shining over this person's 3rd eye. The Moon represents my fears, the dreaded anticipation of what's to come. Instead of fighting against it, I must invite it in and sit with it. What am I resisting? What am I afraid of? What's real and what's illusion? The Star encourages me to tap into my heart, to have faith that if I let go, things will be okay. When I'm feeling worried, I can close my eyes, and open myself to the guidance that is always available via my higher self, and the spirits that surround me.

The final card, Temperance, is titled "Integration." The instinctual over-attachment in The Miser has been illuminated and eased by the Silence in the Star, and has now reached a healing balance. This card tells me to honor my experience rather than trying to gloss over it. It doesn't have to feel good, and I don't have to reach a point where the lack of stability in my household doesn't bother me at all. All I have to do is understand that those feelings don't have to dominate my being. I will be able to visit my kids up north for a week or so, about half way through their visit. It won't be eight weeks straight with no contact. There is benefit to spending some time focusing on my Self, and I am very aware of how busy I am, and how little time I have for solitude. My husband will miss us, and we'll miss him, but I also know that the opportunity awaiting him is a very positive one, and that he needs to take advantage of it, for a multitude of reasons. I know it won't last forever, and he'll be back sooner than I think. I know that my children will have many adventures, and many stories to tell their friends when the school year starts again in August. I love that they will spend so much time with their grandparents, especially because since we live so far apart, quality time is more difficult to achieve.

In the color scheme of this reading, I see the sickly green of the Miser fade into the deep blue of inner mystery and hope, then bursting forth in the harmonic joy of rainbow colors in Temperance. It's a road map to peace. I think I'll frame it. ;-)

Ah Temperance....

Temperance is about balance and compromise, both inward and outward.  It comes with a certain clarity of purpose, where the road ahead is open, and feels certain, so there's no need to rush.  Patience is key, patience and keeping an even keel.  A phrase I often think of when I see this card is "inner peace."  When you are calm on the inside, it's easier to ride the waves of life without going under!

Radiant Rider Waite Tarot (US Games)

Temperance

Temperance was my daily draw this morning.  It is an encouraging card.  It speaks of balance and harmony, patience and steadfastness, higher-level learning, awareness of where you're headed, listening to your inner voice.  In fact it reminds me a lot of the Goat card I pulled several days ago.

In fact I've had to pay more attention to "balance" recently than I have in a very long time.  Not only do I have a 40-hour/week job, but I am working on development in Tarot, and I have a family.  So finding a comfortable way to balance out all of those things has been on my mind, and so far I feel I'm doing a pretty decent job of that.

Morgan Greer Tarot

When I had to choose my availability for free-reading several days ago I spent a lot of time thinking about it.  I didn't want to take on so many that I felt overwhelmed, or wasn't able to spend an appropriate amount of time focusing on each individual spread.  But at the same time I wanted to make sure I was receiving enough readings to create valuable and regular opportunities for practice and development.  I think I've done okay with that so far.  I feel that no more than two per day, and sometimes only one, is best.  That way I can give my attention to everything that needs it in my life - spending time with my kids and husband, cooking, doing errands, working, etc. - while still having enough time to devote energy to doing the best readings that I can.

So, so far so good.  This is still a fairly new progression, however, so it's something I'll have to keep in mind as I go.  

I received feedback on the reading I did for the Tarot site owner, and it was really, really positive and affirming.  I felt so validated by it, and it just felt like another message that I am heading in the right direction.  I'll have to remember this when in the future I should find myself struggling again with self-doubt! <3