A Cup Overflowing

Note: this post is all about menstruation, so if that's not your cup of tea then you may not want to continue reading ;)

I feel like I've been mentioning this topic quite a bit lately, and that's probably because any mention of it at all is more than I ever usually discuss my cycle in public! But in some ways it feels larger than me - relevant to all women, in some way or another. I'm also realizing that I've been feeling a bit "activisty" about it all.

A short time ago I wrote a poem about my decision to stop taking the contraceptive Pill (you can click here to read that post) and this past Tuesday marked the start of the first period free of chemical influence. It did come as a small surprise since for many years it all ran like clockwork: I stopped the Pill on a Tuesday, and by Friday I was bleeding. I started the Pill again the following Wednesday, and so forth. Cramps were minimal, and the duration of my periods was fairly short. Without a pill pack my periods will be reestablishing their own rhythm (though to slightly reduce the guess work related to when I can expect it to begin, I may download a "period tracker" app). Ah well, who needs an app when those subtle-yet-unmistakeable physio-emotional signs serve as useful alert? I was sending a voice message to my sister on Tuesday morning about how irritable I was - how I felt a little "premenstrual" and was finding myself reacting more strongly than usual to small annoyances. I didn't think that enough time had passed from my last period, so I chalked it up to my own hormones going through a shifting and resettling process. But lo and behold, that afternoon at a quick bathroom stop I found that it was indeed that time.

Wednesday morning (the next day) I pulled the Ace of Cups as my daily draw from the Morgan Greer  deck:

Morgan Greer Tarot - US Games

My first thought was: oh look! My cup is overflowing!... not in the way we tend to think... symbolic love and emotion... no, no.... that morning it was quite literal. In fact, upon waking up I had run directly to the bathroom after a torrent of blood overwhelmed just about everything I was wearing from my waist down. This period is not messing around. And just look at that lotus situation happening at the bottom of the card: that is clearly a uterus and ovaries! ;)

Emotionally I have been feeling quite prickly for a few days, and rather than easing up, it seems to be settling in and getting comfortable. Today is day three, and my disposition is quite like a cat with flattened ears (you cat people know what I'm talking about). Today is just not the day to be having any kind of conversations with people. It could go terribly wrong. It's not even noon yet and I've already had to stop myself from sending a couple of emails that my superego (thankfully) deemed entirely unnecessary.

While some of this is rather uncomfortable (emotionally and physically, and even logistically), there is another part of it that feels satisfying, and very welcome. I feel like my body is sighing with relief, as if I've finally given it the tools it needs to conduct a major deep cleaning. I'm giving it back its agency and sovereignty. And that feels profoundly nourishing.

Daily Draw: Working From Home

I woke up reluctantly this morning. From the warmth of bed I mentally reviewed the steps I'd be soon undertaking in order to prepare both myself and the kids for work and school. I decided that it was safest to start with the coffee pot, and as I listened to those first, glorious, mahogany droplets fall into the carafe, my younger daughter sat quietly at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal... which she promptly vomited all over the floor (sorry, I know it's kind of gross). Hm. Perhaps Monday would become my third day of the weekend!

I did manage to arrange to work from home, sending out a couple of text messages and emails to be sure that everyone knew where I would be all day and why (I did refrain from sharing the minute details, ahem). So with a rather low-key day ahead I settled my pajamaed-self in to enjoy my coffee, and pull a daily card or two (something that tends to be rushed rather than leisurely these days).

I was considering (based on one of Ellen's recent posts) what my "soul deck" might be as I was deciding upon which to use. While there are a lot of decks that I love for various reasons, I realize that the Fountain Tarot has become a common go-to. The reversible backs, beautiful art, rather traditional (yet freshly rendered) imagery, and amazing card stock has elevated it to this position. I almost grabbed it off the shelf, but then I decided to go for warmth instead, so I dug out my trusty Morgan Greer. This was one of my first decks, but I gave it away because I just couldn't deal with the Tom Selleck mustaches all over the place. (And then I regretted it, because it's really a gorgeous, brightly colored work of art, so I reacquired it in the Italian version). This is another deck that shuffles fantastically.

Morgan Greer Tarot; Bill Greer

So what would the predominant energies of my day be, oh Morgan Greer?

Page of Cups (ah, definitely my kids - not only is my daughter ill, but my son is battling bronchitis)..........

World (mhmm.... no doubt that I'd be spending most of my time and energy on them....)...........

Emperor (oh, right. Working from home.)

As I peered at the World card I was drawn to the fact that the figures on each side peer outward to the cards on the left and right, respectively. The woman in the center balances them all evenly. To the left the Page of Cups shows my attentions to caring for my kids, while the Emperor to the right reminds me that I will have to divide my time a bit between home concerns and my director duties: despite not being physically present in the office, I still need to hold down the proverbial fort, even if I do so via technology. But then, that's the benefit of living in this modern age, I suppose!

So off I go to pour another cup, organize the kids in their beds and blankets, and then...on to those emails!

Embracing the Knight of Swords

The task for Day 28 of the Shadow Work October challenge (hosted on Instagram by @mnomquah) is: 

Caregiver. What do I have to offer? 

Last night I pulled the Prince of Knives from the Tarot of Vampyres and I was mystified. I had just written earlier that same day that I rarely see myself in the Swords courts, and yet there it was. I put it aside. This morning I thought I might see what Morgan Greer would have to say about it, and as I shuffled a card came flying out at me: the Knight of Swords. I laughed. The cards had made their point.

Tarot of Vampyres and Morgan Greer Tarot

I had to sit with this one for a while, but as I delved deeply into the energy of this card I found that I could see myself reflected there - both a surprising and revealing experience for me. I don't love to debate, and I am rarely sharp with my words. I am not reckless, nor do I move particularly quickly.

But there is far more to it than that.

This Knight is intellectual and analytical, articulate and perceptive. He is creative and knowledgeable, honest and clear-minded. He finds solutions and helps others to see past outdated patterns of thought. And as I thought about it I realized that people do come to me for problem solving, and they trust me with advice when it comes to approaching complex matters. They ask for my opinion and believe me to be fair, not influenced by politics or personal preferences. I write, and once in a while I hear from strangers who approach me to let me know that some post helped them understand a card better, or was affirming for them in its openness and honesty. So I suppose that this is what I offer others, though I had never really thought about it this way before... This one deserves some further meditation.....!

Facing the Devil: Don't Walk Away

Lately I've been working through my feelings on a personal project that has been a major part of my life for quite a while. Sometimes I feel very happy with and fulfilled by what I'm doing, and other times I feel really disillusioned and frustrated, and wonder if I should let it go altogether. Last night I decided to pull some cards about it, asking, "What course should I be taking in terms of this situation?"

The first two cards were:

Action to Take: 6 of Swords reversed 
Action to Avoid: 8 of cups 

Morgan Greer Tarot

The message was exceedingly clear - so much so that I laughed a bit when I saw the cards. In the simplest of terms, they were telling me not to walk away from my work.

The third card I pulled was:

Advice to Ponder: 7 of Swords

This card is often seen as indicative of deception, sometimes of being clever or strategic. What this card was shouting at me was: How am I my own worst enemy? What lies do I tell myself? How do I get in my own way, and how is this preventing me from being the best that I can be in terms of my work?

Morgan Greer Tarot

The Devil was the card at the bottom of the deck, which I always look to in order to better understand the underlying energies in a reading.  The Devil supports the 7 of Swords, and addresses the issue of giving my personal power away to worry, self-doubt, negative self-talk, impatience, etc. These cards came as a great relief to me because I know that they're true, and they give me some important areas to consider and work on. It's not my work that needs to be abandoned - it's my relationship to my work, and to myself, that needs to be healed.

Seeing this Devil brought to mind just how much my opinion has changed regarding the depiction in this particular deck. I used to hate the Devil card in the Morgan Greer because it looks just so evil. I saw the Devil's true nature as something like Pan or Cernunnos: wild, untamed energy, passion, instinct, power that long ago was misrepresented by the Catholic church toward its own ends of converting the masses. But in Tarot we do tend to see this card as an imbalance of power, or a negative manifestation of our primal force. The truth is, the Tarot Devil is not Cernunnos or Pan at all. The Catholic church demonized those good pagan deities and created something to be feared and avoided. That in itself is vice in action, manipulation or perversion of something holy for ultimately ill purposes. And that is what the Devil is all about. When I see this depiction now, I find it very fitting; it's just as scary and unpleasant-looking as the energy it's meant to represent: the misuse of our power. When you convince yourself that you'll never be good enough (for example) you're abusing and mistreating yourself, you are buying into an illusion that reinforces your own perceived limitations and restrains your sense of agency and power. This is what the Church did with Pan et al: created a frightening pseudo-archetype of a wild and cruel beast so that people would flock to the churches in fear. It worked pretty well. It takes a lot of bravery and trust and courage to vanquish our "demons" and restore our primal force. And if we won't, or can't do it, or if we drag our feet too long, there's always the Tower.... ;-)

My cards encourage me not to walk away from my work, but to look the Devil squarely in the eyes, and dive right into my shadow. There I can recover the power that I'm undermining, restore my truth, and embrace my Will as it manifests through the work I've been doing.

That should keep me busy for a while!

Bast and the 8 of Cups

I normally keep pretty close track of the moon cycles, but the past month has been pretty busy between vacation, driving across the country, and getting back up to speed at work. Yesterday I kept feeling antsy each time I would walk past my bóveda (altar), antsy with the drive to give it a thorough cleaning. I normally do this kind of thing perhaps once a month, and usually on a Friday. But I finally couldn't take it any more, and decided to make it happen on a Wednesday night. I dusted, changed the cloths, rearranged things, lit some candles, burned some herbs. When all was said and done I leaned back on my bed and decided to have a look at my moon cycle app - lo and behold, it was the night of the New Moon! And then it all made sense: the New Moon is a time of releasing the old, and embracing the new - even in mundane ways. I was feeling the lunar nudge to clean my space up, and it was too keen a call to resist.

It was also time to pull a card for the week ahead, so I decided to combine my weekly draw with a New Moon draw. Again, I've used the Morgan Greer deck in combination with the Goddess Knowledge cards, and pulled:

8 of Cups - Bast

It's interesting that the 8 of Cups has come up....yet again! This is turning into one of my cards of the season, and is entirely appropriate considering all of the inner and outer fluctuations that have been occurring over the past several months. It's a welcome card, because it speaks of going on a soul journey, of a willingness to release the hold on "what is" in order to open up to "what could be."

Bast, also called Bastet, is an Egyptian goddess with quite a long history. While she originally was associated with the sun, later Greek influence aligned her energies to some degree with Artemis, so she also came to develop a connection with the moon. No matter what, she is the cat- or lion-faced goddess of strength and wisdom, of independence and fertility, of protection and joy. All of these qualities seem deeply appropriate for a soul journey. In fact I love how in the relationship between the cards, we see the red-hooded figure walking off toward the mountains, while Bast stands like a sentinel of the night, calling the walker forth, keeping watch over the unfolding voyage.

The card duo invites me to ponder the joy possible in being brave enough to follow my own path, to be uniquely "me," and to take the road less traveled.

Questions to consider:

What satisfies you? 
What do you, or could you, do to embrace authenticity in your life? 
How do you know when it's time to break a routine and explore something new?

Creativity and Wisdom

Today I am officially back from vacation. I had two weeks full of travel and spending time with family and old friends. My two littlest children are back with us at home, and our oldest will come back in a few weeks. All I really need today is a cup of good coffee and a quite place to relax....

Yesterday evening, about a mile past the Florida-Georgia line, and 3 hours from home, I drew two cards for the week ahead (being very careful that they wouldn't fly out the window).

The 3 of Pentacles fell from the deck (hey, I just pulled this card last week!). It's perfectly fitting as today I headed back to work! And in reality, the rest of July in terms of my job will be pretty packed, but as I've been on vacation for nearly two weeks, there are a lot of details I need to iron out in regard to my schedule and overall workload. I will be relying on others to help make things flow as smoothly as possible, so I expect a lot of discussions and arrangements to be organized over the next week. Fortunately I received some positive news this morning about a course I'm teaching which will lighten my responsibilities, and it wouldn't be possible without a little help from my friends. So that's all well and good.

Morgan Greer Tarot; Goddess Knowledge Cards

As a follow-up I decided to draw a card from my new Goddess Knowledge deck with art by Susan Seddon-Boulet. The backstory is that my mother bought me a shaman poster by this wonderful artist when I was 12 or 13 years old, and it hung on my door for ages, until the corners were entirely ripped to pieces from the thumb tacks holding it up. I always thought it was my spirit guide - I adored that image! While I was in the north last week, I was in a shop and saw this deck and immediately purchased it. It's not meant to be used for divination, per se - rather its main purpose is to display and teach about many different goddesses across a variety of world cultures. However I've found that it's wonderful for meditation and guidance, and have been using it quite a lot lately!

I drew: Athena.

Athena is the goddess of wisdom and war, and battles are won with clear thinking and good strategy. These are elements that will be important for me this week as I jump back into the work circus. I don't want to feel overwhelmed, and Athena's creative depths, her rational mind, her confidence and skill will help me to navigate my path ahead. One other aspect of this card speaks to me not so much from Athena herself, but from this rather unusual depiction of the goddess. Here she appears rather child-like, surrounded by delicate phases of the moon, and framed by a serpent. She looks to be clothed in autumn leaves. What strikes me most powerfully about this image is the connection to nature. One of the things that I was very aware of over the past couple of vacation weeks is just how much nature calms and nourishes me. So in another sense, I hear Athena telling me to draw on nature's healing and revitalizing energy any time that I might start to feel stressed - to sit outside, to go for a walk, to watch the stars in the night sky.

I like that there is a creative element to both of these cards. We often think of creativity in terms of forming something new and original, but sometimes it's not about being unique in the product we create, rather in the way we approach our work. Success through creative strategizing will be my motto for the week ahead!

Free Reading Alert!

Dear readers!

It's December and I'm giving away one free Tarot reading! It can be used for yourself or given as a gift, if you like. To put your name in the proverbial hat, please go to my First Earth Tarot Facebook page and "like" it. Then "like" and share the reading give-away post.

On December 15th I'll randomly draw a name and announce the winner via the Facebook page.

I'm not a marketer by nature, so this is attempt at putting my self out into the world, and a way to say thank you for the support you've all given me thus far! :)

Morgan Greer Tarot/US Games

30-Day Tarot Challenge - Questions 16, 17, 18

16) Do you ever use the Major Arcana without the Minor Arcana, or vice versa?

No.  In fact once I was having trouble understanding a querent's question because it was extremely disorganized and "all over the place."  So I was trying to pick out the main elements as seemed appropriate.  Another reader suggested that I might separate the deck into Major/Minor Arcana and use only the Majors to pick a single card that might give the lady some insights.  I decided to take the advice, but I decided not to separate the deck. I figured that if this lady needed a Major card, it would appear... and it did!  I ended up with the Hanged Man, and it worked really well for the client.  That experience just helped confirm for me that the cards will tell you what you need to know, so separating them is not really necessary.  

Morgan Greer Tarot

17) Do you do readings using reversals? Why or why not?

Hah!  When I first started with Tarot, I didn't.  But I was also reading for myself and other people I knew really well.  When I started reading for strangers I realized immediately that the fine shades of meaning available with reversals would be extremely useful in giving detailed readings...especially readings via email.  At first I was a bit nervous, but now I really like using them.  



18) Do you feel a "connection" to your cards?

Yes, I do!  I actually feel like they're sort of friends :)  I feel a great connection to all of my decks, though the images in the Golden Tarot (Liz Dean) don't really pull me in.  But I still feel like they "speak" to me, in their own way.  

First Reading (for a stranger) with Wildwood

So I bit the bullet and went for it.  Someone wanted to know about the potential for future romance and since I really want to feel the Wildwood out I decided to use that deck.  It was nice! Of course I decided to do a "double check" with Morgan Greer, and it was much the same message.  So I put Morgan Greer away and went with the Wildwood spread.  One of my concerns with Wildwood lies in the few cards with quite different meanings from the traditional.  If I get a 7 Vessels (Cups) should I read it as wishful thinking (etc) or the Wildwood meaning of "mourning," (which in fact is more fitting for the traditional meaning of 5 Cups)?   Perhaps I'll consider both meanings to see what feels right.  But it's definitely something I'm mulling over.  Also, I think I'll do reversals after all.

       

30-Day Tarot Challenge, question 13

(13) Is there a card that continuously stumps you when it is drawn? Why do you believe this to be so?

Seven of Swords is one.... First of all, it's often negative-ish, so I always want to be very careful with the way I interpret it.  Secondly, there are many meanings for this card, and there seem to be subtle but important differences between them, so determining which meaning or emphasis is more likely in a spread, along with the other cards, can sometimes be challenging.  I always need to take time to consider it and its potential underlying meanings, whereas there are many other cards whose meanings always seem pretty clear.

Morgan Greer Tarot                                             

30-Day Tarot Challenge, questions 11 and 12

(11) What spread do you use most often/prefer and why?

I usually do 3-5 card spreads because they're pretty concise yet thorough enough for most situations.  

(12) Have you ever created your own spread? If so, how effective is it? (feel free to show spread)

Yes!  I won't detail it here since it's already the subject of a previous post (the first spread I created, anyway).  I put one together with the idea that it could be used to give couples in a thriving relationship some insights into what is working and how they can continue to improve it.  It worked really nicely, and I felt great about it!  Since beginning email readings I tend to make my own spreads...nothing formal or with a fancy name.  Basically I have a mental list of positions and meanings and I pick and choose the combination depending on the question/situation and how much detail I want.  A common one I use quite often is: Context, Her, Him, Obstacles, Immediate Future.  (Can you tell I get a lot of relationship questions??) :-). Sometimes I add on a "timing" card if the person would like to have a time frame in mind, though I am clear with them that the results depend on their own actions.  

A spread with Morgan Greer Tarot        

Temperance

Temperance was my daily draw this morning.  It is an encouraging card.  It speaks of balance and harmony, patience and steadfastness, higher-level learning, awareness of where you're headed, listening to your inner voice.  In fact it reminds me a lot of the Goat card I pulled several days ago.

In fact I've had to pay more attention to "balance" recently than I have in a very long time.  Not only do I have a 40-hour/week job, but I am working on development in Tarot, and I have a family.  So finding a comfortable way to balance out all of those things has been on my mind, and so far I feel I'm doing a pretty decent job of that.

Morgan Greer Tarot

When I had to choose my availability for free-reading several days ago I spent a lot of time thinking about it.  I didn't want to take on so many that I felt overwhelmed, or wasn't able to spend an appropriate amount of time focusing on each individual spread.  But at the same time I wanted to make sure I was receiving enough readings to create valuable and regular opportunities for practice and development.  I think I've done okay with that so far.  I feel that no more than two per day, and sometimes only one, is best.  That way I can give my attention to everything that needs it in my life - spending time with my kids and husband, cooking, doing errands, working, etc. - while still having enough time to devote energy to doing the best readings that I can.

So, so far so good.  This is still a fairly new progression, however, so it's something I'll have to keep in mind as I go.  

I received feedback on the reading I did for the Tarot site owner, and it was really, really positive and affirming.  I felt so validated by it, and it just felt like another message that I am heading in the right direction.  I'll have to remember this when in the future I should find myself struggling again with self-doubt! <3

The Knight of Cups Comes A Callin'

I pulled the Knight of Cups this morning for my daily draw..... moments after completing my first free reader spread.  Very fitting, and.....holy crap.... I have butterflies in my stomach.

Actually it was good.  Really good.  I mean, I haven't received any feedback from the querent, and I am kind of preparing myself for something horrible.  But I really think it was right on.  The question was rather vague, but not too vague to be able to work with.  I felt I was able to connect with the querent's energy... how is this possible?  I didn't know what to expect at first.  But I found that by thinking of the photo that accompanied the question, thinking of the person's name, and thinking of the client's card constellation (which I got from the birthdate), I did feel myself connecting.  And when I drew the cards I knew it was right, because not only did the suit and card numbers resonate with the main issue presented in the question, but the outcome card was the client's personality/soul card.  I like calculating that information so I can see if it pops up in a spread.  And there it was!  Also, the four cards I chose worked together... I could see the story.  Of course afterwards I found myself entrenched in a lot of self-doubt (but HOW can you know it will make any sense to this person at all??).

Morgan Greer Tarot

I also decided to select an extra card from the Druid Animal Oracle, and it supported the message from the spread.  So yeah, it was great.  But I'm not going to allow myself to believe it just yet... not until I hear back from the querent.  Crossing my fingers on that one.  At the same time, I've thought: "What if I do get terrible feedback about how off I was?  How would that make me feel?"  And in the end I realized that I'm confident in the reading I did.  I mean, the question was kinda vague, and my reading was thorough, but not terribly specific (how could it be?).  But I'm sure there were some valuable nuggets of truth in the reading, and I hope the client feels that way.  We shall see.....

P.S. I used my DruidCraft deck, which is the deck I'm using to practice reversals.  I feel that not knowing the person I'm reading for makes using reversals a better option... because the reversals give slightly clearer meanings.  Two of the four cards I picked in this spread were reversals.  I think it'll be a great way to become increasingly comfortable using them (doing email readings, that is, where I have the luxury of wading through meanings).

P.P.S. The client got back to me eventually, and his feedback "spot on."  *sigh*

Same Message, Twice in a Row

I did a spread this evening for someone using DruidCraft with reversals, in a 7 card Horseshoe.

Not gonna lie, it was a challenging read.  It took a lot of time to mentally sort through the reverse meanings, even though I ended up with a decent handle on the message.

But I wanted to cross-check it, "just to see." Just me testing my doubts, again.  Silly girl! Ha...

I did a 3 card spread, no reversals, using the Morgan Greer deck.  I got a succinct, clear message, very easy to read, and it was exactly the same message as the first spread.

Morgan Greer Tarot

                                        

It got me thinking.....the reversals were accurate, though cumbersome (at least partially due to the fact that I am not accustomed to using them).  But I got the same message, simple and clear and not at all cumbersome, with the short spread, all upright!  Both spreads even had a majority of the same suit, which was definitely significant to the question asked.  In the end it made me feel like the longer spread, and the reversals even, were just giving me more "noise" than was necessary.

I have one deck that I've decided to set aside for reversal practice, so I'll keep working on my comfort level with them.  I do see value there, especially for readings about complicated situations.  But it was nice to see how the same idea can be accurately conveyed using a different format and no reversals at all.  

I've been trying to incorporate the elemental dignities into my readings as much as possible, and to some extent numerology, which I feel has been successful, and does help highlight important areas in a spread.  

Only one way to go....keep on practicing :-)

My First Original Spread!

So I never considered making my own spread.  I figured that there are so many spreads out there for everything under the sun, why bother adding to it?  But yesterday I was contemplating love readings.  I decided to throw together a spread that could be used if two people are facing relationship challenges and need some clarity.  That is all well and good, but what about if a couple's relationship is going really well, and they just want some insights into it?  Some family members are celebrating their anniversary today, and they're one of the best couples I know.  I decided to create a spread with them in mind, and do a reading for them for their anniversary.  They were pleased with the outcome and happy to have me share the results with the world, though even so I will keep their identities somewhat obscure. I'll use the names Jack and Jill :-).

I don't have a name for this spread yet, but this is the layout:

    2

1      4  5  6

    3

       

I used Morgan Greer Tarot for the reading.

So as I flipped the cards over I was sure I'd done a poor job.  I saw a Swords, and some other things that were slightly unexpected.  After I stopped judging everything and actually started really looking at and thinking about the cards, I realized how meaningful and positive they were.  So here is my analysis:

Card 1, Current state of relationship: Empress - all is well at home!  There is a lot of love, mutual support, give and take.  There is sensuality, earthiness, and nourishment.

Card 2, What she brings to the relationship: 10 of Swords - change!  Jill doesn't mess around.  When she's done, she's done.  Once she identifies something that is old, no longer working, boring, annoying (etc) she cuts it out and makes room for something new and better.

Card 3, What he brings to the relationship: 8 of Cups - change....but slower!  Jack spends a lot of energy cultivating the world around him.  He may put a lot of time, energy and emotion into something that isn't really satisfying him.  The good thing is that once he realizes that it's not feeding his soul, he will move on.  He's able to take the journey to find what will satisfy him.

Card 4, Potential obstacles: 3 of Wands - future goals.  It may be hard getting past the initial planning stages of a creative idea.  One person might want one thing, while the other isn't convinced.  One might be full of ideas, and the other is fine where he/she is. Two people with diverging long-term goals makes for some struggles.

Card 5, The Key to success: Knight of Cups - they love each other.  But more than that! They share a lot of deep, core values that draw them together.  They appreciate beauty and the finer things in life.  They share a commitment to self-improvement.  Their ability to tune in to others' emotions makes them sensitive to each other, but also forms the foundation for their shared profession.  

Card 6, the Future: 4 of Cups - Jill's ideas clash with Jack's comfort with where he is and what he already has at his disposal (the saying "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" comes to mind).  This is a potential next step, moving forward from the 3 of Wands. Perhaps some compromise will occur, that honors both people's feelings/needs/desires.  Perhaps an offer or opportunity will come along to help solve this issue, and imbue movement into feelings of stagnancy.  

The foundations are very strong (Empress and Knight of Cups).  The Knight's position between a fire card (wands) and water card (cups) gives it enhanced importance: none of the obstacles faced will shake the core of the relationship. This is supported by their complementary Soul cards (Empress and Emperor).  Both people bring the capacity for change to the marriage, albeit in two very different styles.  This is further supported by their Personality/Shadow cards: Jill's as the World and the Hanged Man, and Jack's as the Fool and Death.  

Interestingly, the numerological sum of the spread (using the four, numbered Minor Arcana) is 7 = The Chariot. I feel this signifies that they work well as a team, and know themselves and each other well.  When they agree on a goal, they see it through together. They deal well with life's challenges because of their strong connection to each other.

So Jill told me she was really happy with the results, and impressed with the accuracy.  That made my day, especially because it was my first time trying out a spread I created.  I'm encouraged to work on other new spreads in the future!

Page of Cups, Newsbearer

Yesterday I pulled the Page of Cups as my daily draw.  To be honest, it didn't really speak to me.  I tend to think of it as representing an emotional healing, or the hint at a new love or other sort of relationship.  Love, forgiveness, intuition, sensitivity, etc etc. I did think of the the potential meaning that it could represent delivery of good news.  Nothing really made a lot of sense based on what I know of my life at present, or what I knew of my day ahead.

So, I drew my card from Morgan Greer Tarot, and I'm not using reversals with that deck.  I am still pondering whether or not I want to use them at all.... I already use reversed meanings to some extent (in "advice" or "obstacle" positions, usually, and in any other circumstances that seem to make sense).  I've had some times where I've experimented with reversals and pulled one which seemed to fit very well....and then pulled another on another day where it was clear that the upright meaning was the correct one.  So that has not helped sway me either way!

                                           Morgan Greer Tarot                                             

      

That said, I put the Page out of my mind all day, and even considered that it may not have been the "right" card for me, for whatever reason (we're on vacation, not in the usual environment, lots of distractions).  I considered that, even despite what I've come to repeat often, which is "the cards don't lie." You may misinterpret them,  you may not understand them, you may not want to hear the message...but the cards tell you what's up.

So nothing Pagey really happened all day.  We settled into bed.  Gabriel was a bit ill, but nothing serious.  Just as I was getting ready to close my eyes, Jorge says "oh my God..." several times. Turned out that he had just received news of a death in his extended family which is having a major emotional impact on him.  So.....there it was.  The Page came bearing news.  Emotional news...but not happy news.  

This is the kind of moment that makes me in awe of the beauty of the cards, but also makes me second guess the value of using reversals.  Though honestly, even if I'd have pulled the Page of Cups reversed, I probably would not have felt it fit my day any more appropriately.  We can't really foresee this kind of thing, much less with a daily draw.  Still, it's been a profound lesson for me.

A New Language

I love it when I can relate things back to my professional specialty: language acquisition.

Tarot is like learning a language.  When you learn the basics of a new language you feel proud at your new skill, feel excited to try your new skill out (or conversely, feel scared to look like an idiot).  You flex your wings, practice forming new sounds with your mouth.  

Inevitably at some point in your studies you come to the realization that the more you learn, the less you feel you know.  Those moments of excitement and pride become a distant memory, as the deep reality of true learning sets in.  This often serves as the dividing line between serious students and those simply caught up in the fleeting fun of being able to order a coffee in French.  The latter become overwhelmed, realize that it takes a lot of time, a lot of practice, and a lot of investment - on many levels of being - to truly be fluent in another language, and quickly fade away.  The former stand back in awe of their "smallness" in the grand scheme of the acquisition process.  But they are moved by that awe, appreciate it, learn from it, are humbled by it, and continue on their way with even-keeled determination.  Once they learn their first new language they are wise enough to know that they will always be a student; learning never ceases to occur or be necessary.  And when they start to learn their next languages, they start to anticipate the awe, the precipice, and they begin to savor that feeling.  It serves as a marker of how far they've come, and while they have so much more before them, they now know that they can, and will, reach their goals.

                                          

        

I had a great afternoon with my mom today.  In a way she was my first Tarot teacher, and will always be a role model for me in terms of cultivating honor and trust in our intuition.  She is in town visiting for a week (my daily draw today was 6 of Cups) and she asked me for a reading.  I was admittedly a bit nervous, though happy to comply.  She knows what she's seeing in the cards, and I haven't had much practice with 1) verbalizing my story weaving, and 2) feeling the need to figure a spread out quickly and begin to relay the messages.  So I wasn't sure how it would go, or how I would feel.  It turned out well, in the end.  I had my first real-life experience of reading something that wasn't at least partially based on prior knowledge....and being correct despite my anxiety and self-doubt.  I also had my first experience of being nearly entirely stumped by a card, and having to simply describe it.  Turns out it did speak to her, but it related to aspects of her life I had no awareness of.  I was sitting there trying to figure out what the card could possibly mean, offering a possibility (based on what I do know about her circumstances, though it didn't feel right).  When she thought about it for a few moments, she realized exactly what the card was referring to, and we chatted about it.  I realized that I don't have to know or have a strong idea about a particular card in order for it to speak to a client loud and clear.  Or maybe not even loud and clear - it could be that, like my mom, after some time thinking about it, it suddenly clicks into place.  

She asked me about my path with Tarot and I said that I had kind of accidentally fell into this as a calling.  We talked about how I worked with Medicine Cards as a kid, and how her Tarot storytelling always captivated me.  I said "remember how I always wanted to be a doctor, except for that unfortunate issue of advanced math and chemistry?  Well, I'm following that deep desire to help heal people.  Instead of modern medicine, I think I can do it through herbal study and Tarot." She nodded her head in acceptance and understanding.  She's a counselor, and highly intuitive, and still an active card reader, and she knows what I'm talking about.  She told me a story so I would understand how intuition doesn't always make sense, but how important it is to go with it, no matter what your brain is telling you:

When she was attending a workshop many years ago the attendees were doing an exercise where they were attempting to tune into a partner's emotions.  My mom was struggling, and finally asked if it was okay if she could touch her partner's arm, and was given permission.  She suddenly saw an image in her mind of a stuffed rocking chair in the form of an old woman.  It was the same kind of chair she'd seen before in a children's museum.  She was totally confused by the image, but decided to report it anyway.  Her partner broke down crying because he'd recently lost his grandmother with whom he'd been very close.  I'd heard that story before, but I never tire of hearing it.  It's an important reminder that Tarot doesn't always involve puzzle pieces that fit together seamlessly.  Sometimes the story doesn't seem to make sense, or there's a piece that seems awkward with the others.  Sometimes you see a clear message that seems odd or not perfectly in line with textbook card meanings.  It's okay.  Report what you see and feel, trusting in your intuition.

I'm loving how I feel this night as I peer out over the precipice of Tarot acquisition.  I'm moved by it, humbled by it, grateful for it, and deeply drawn to what lies before me.  

The Advice of Air and Wolf

Today I pulled the Ace of Swords for my daily draw (using DruidCraft Tarot - Philip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm and Will Worthington).  Phew!  This is really good, and also really challenging. 

Yesterday evening we received our oldest daughter’s grades for last year (why so late??) and they were not particularly good.  Yet her State test scores were far above average.  We know she is capable of doing the work, but she daydreams a lot, and keeps a lot of her thoughts and feelings inside, and that combination has really created some obstacles in the past.  She will make some decisions that are not ideal, and when it creates a major problem she does feel bad and accept responsibility…. But then soon she falls back into her own private world and the cycle continues.  I ask myself what I can do better as a parent to help guide her, help her with structure.  I pulled three cards from my Morgan Greer deck last night asking, “What should I understand about my daughter?” 

I pulled the 7 of Cups, Justice, and the High Priestess. 

Morgan Greer Tarot

Yep.  The 7 of Cups represents how much time she spends entertaining herself, distracting herself, with exciting ideas and fantasies – none of which she ever turns into an actual project or activity in the real world (even despite our continual encouragement).  The High Priestess is her hidden world.  In the Morgan Greer deck the High Priestess sits before a curtain with her feet resting on the moon.  Behind the curtain you can see that there is an ocean beyond, but it’s mostly hidden.  The moon signifies many things, but one of those things is illusion.  For me this card represents how while my daughter always seems cool, calm and collected, underneath the surface she is feeling a lot of things that she keeps to herself.  She gives the illusion that all is well in her world, when the reality might not be at all that way.  For me Justice represents her brief moments of clarity, when she realizes that she keeps stepping in the same hole (so to speak), and she feels a sense of responsibility for her behavior, and understands the need to make some changes.  But Justice is flanked by two water cards – while air and water get along okay, the predominance of water makes me feel that her daydreaming and hidden world are why she keeps returning to the same patterns.  She is a teenager, but she’s still young.  I’m not sure she can find that extra “air” to help sort things out.

DruidCraft Tarot

That’s where the Ace of Swords comes in.  I really want to help guide her in a nurturing but firm manner.  While I am frustrated by the poor performance, I feel for her, and oftentimes end up focusing more on her feelings rather than finding a solid solution for her.  Which is not a true help, I think, in the long-run.  What the Ace of Swords is telling me to do is to put the emotions aside for now, and figure out a rational, well-thought-out plan that will provide her with the extra scaffolding she needs to be successful.  The Ace of Swords shows a sword breaking through illusion and emotion.  This is a great analogy for the need for Jorge and I to break through the illusion of our daughter's mind-set and emotional state, and work with her where she truly is.  In the past we’d have long discussions, tears, lots of hugs, and then we’d feel like we made progress and we’d let it go.  That was an error.  It’s time for a change in how we work with her, which will hopefully result in real change all the way around, and will end in a happy, successful kid, and happy, relieved parents.  I’m ready for that challenge.

One additional note (this is several hours after posting this): I am definitely pulling on the Ace of Swords at work today, too.  I've been placed in a leadership position for a group assignment, and some of the members on the team are resentful and uncooperative.  I am definitely rather Cupsy, and always strive for harmony, and am always considering people's feelings.  In this case I need to buck up and take on this challenge.  I need to let go of my concern about what others think of me, especially when the dislike stems from negativity rather than reality.  I need to be a leader, a fair leader, but the focus must be on the facts, on honesty, and strength.  Difficult, but a worthy lesson for me.

I also pulled a card from the Druid Animal Oracle (Philip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm and Will Worthington).  I didn’t pull it in relation to this situation, just for additional advice.  I pulled the Wolf, and it really works in harmony with yesterday’s Hermit card pull.

The Wolf encourages me to recognize that to grow deeper I need to take on challenges that may cause me anxiety.  This does have a relation to the issue with my daughter, but I feel it relates most strongly to my Tarot study.  I’ve been going deeper into Tarot, but knowing that at some point I need to dive into reading for strangers.  This causes me anxiety, and I ask myself, “What if I don’t connect?  What if my reading is completely off?  What if the client tells me that my interpretation has no relationship to their lives??”  Well, that is a little overboard.  I already know that it wouldn’t be that bad.  The accuracy of the readings I do has been high, and the work I’m doing practicing my story-weaving skills (based on strangers’ online spread postings) has shown me that I’m not entirely inept.  But those concerns continue to haunt me a bit.  At the same time I know that taking that leap into free-reading is a critical step to my development as a card reader.  And I actually do want to do it.  So in that respect the Wolf (“intuition, learning, the Shadow”) is encouraging me to accept my fears and move past them into deeper waters.  I’m grateful for the advice. <3

Pentacles, Wands, and a Bull

Yesterday my daily draw was the lovely lady from 9 of Pentacles (Morgan Greer), telling me what I already know: I've been spending a lot of time thinking about economic stability, and deeply wanting to be able to buy my kids all the toys and books they want.

Morgan Greer Tarot

Today I drew the Prince (Knight) of Wands (DruidCraft) who was encouraging me to tap into my creativity and energy and get those tasks taken care of.  Ugh.  I knew I'd have to rework a part of an important assignment at work, and wasn't really looking forward to it.  But like the picture of the Prince, I'd just have to close my eyes and charge on.

DruidCraft Tarot

As a complement, I decided to draw a card from the Druid Animal Oracle, and I pulled the Bull reversed.  This indicates a lack of motivation to "get the job done" (did the Bull and the Knight of Wands have a private meeting before I woke up??).  It suggests to me that if I push through the less savory tasks without getting overly frustrated, I'll enjoy the final result.

Druid Animal Oracle

Okay, that pretty much summed up my day ahead.  I know I've said it (typed it) before, but I really appreciate even the simple acknowledgement of what lies ahead, or what's on my mind.  It helps me reassess my own reactions, and be more realistic and peaceful.

A Knight, The World, and The Empress: 3 Days in a Nutshell

I didn’t post my daily draws for the past three days, so I thought I’d do that now, just to try to keep up the practice of reporting what I pulled and how it related to my day!

Today is Monday (ugh). 

On Saturday I pulled the Knight of Swords, using my Golden Tarot deck.  Well, as much as I love to see other suits, it was fitting all the same.  It was pretty much Jorge.  He woke up on the wrong side of bed, and was irritable for most of the day, until late afternoon/early evening.  Sometimes just the acknowledgement of what your day is bringing you is enough to make it easier to deal with, to keep in mind that it’s just a moment, and won’t last.  To take it in stride.  That’s one of the important benefits of daily draws, I would say.  And while the day was pretty Knight of Swordsy, the evening ended on a positive note.

Morgan Greer Tarot

On Sunday I pulled The World, using my new Morgan Greer deck.  That’s what I’m talking about!  Not a sword in sight! ;-)  (To be fair I do appreciate and value the messages the suit of Swords delivers, but sometimes I just want a break!).  Realizing goals, getting active and involved, healing, synthesis, contentment and fulfillment.  Quite an auspicious card, really! I wasn’t sure I’d be able to live up to it!!!  But it did color my day in many ways.  I made inquiries about two courses I want to take at a local shop – one on herbs and the other on intuitive Tarot.  I purchased ritual candles and a small bottle for holding consecrated oil.  I bought some Hawthorn berries for a tea I wanted to make (due to a haphazard reading about my health I’d done that morning which worried me and made me want to take some action!).  And to top it off, that evening I did the most affirming reading (with my DruidCraft deck) about my future with Tarot which really brought everything together and gave me a strong feeling that I’m heading in the right direction.  I followed that up with a one-card-draw from my Druid Animal Oracle to ask what animal teachings would be most helpful on my path, and pulled the Seal card (connecting to your Unconscious; Feminine energy and teachings; opening yourself to following your dreams).  Not only was the message in line with my reading, but the card features a cloudy sky with a rainbow.  A few minutes later I put the cards away and Jorge and Lourdes and I went out for an evening walk… when I looked up there was the most beautiful rainbow hanging in a hazy sky.  I’ve never seen a rainbow by our house before, so it felt like another sort of confirmation, and it was a really beautiful moment for me, on many levels, kind of left me in awe.  So The World seemed fitting for my day yesterday.

Morgan Greer Tarot

Today I almost didn’t even have time to pull a card.  And let me say that it was quite the incomplete process.  I was hurriedly shuffling my Morgan Greer deck (I’m trying to switch it up now that I have three decks, so each one gets a little attention) and wasn’t even able to finish one shuffle before Gabriel and Jorge came in the room, and I needed to change Gabriel’s diaper, and Jorge started organizing the bed sheets.  So I just gave up shuffling, and cut the deck once and it was the Empress (how very fitting, given the surrounding activity!).  I put that on the back burner and ran out the door.  Despite the incompleteness of the shuffle/selection process I decided to go with it!  On my way to work I thought about it, and feel it’s telling me that the most important aspects of my day today will involve my family.  Jorge had a hard morning today with aches and pains he can’t identify the cause of, and feeling really tired.  So I feel the need to be supportive of him, so that he can get some rest.  Except I’m going to be at work for most of the day!  So I’m going to help him as much as possible from afar (planning the grocery list, etc) and then later when I get home try to give him some down time, and see what activities I can come up with for the kids.  To me today is all about giving extra support to my family in both roles: wife and mother.

I’m out.