Embracing the Shadow: An Eclipse Reading

This summer has proven to be a whirlwind of activity, movement, joys, and intense challenges. My blog has certainly landed toward the bottom of any priority list I might have had, and even this post has taken a week to finish writing (but I did it!). This grand solar eclipse a week ago was a special moment that has felt so profoundly relevant to all of the energies flowing in, around, and through my world since summer began. I saw an eclipse spread developed by Sharron Basanti from the School of Gypsy Arts  and made space to draw some cards.

I used my (fairly new) Visconti Sforza deck - the Golden Tarot by Mary Packard, which is sumptuous and rich and fun to read with....

What area of my life is the most influenced by the Solar Eclipse? Strength

I love the Strength card, though to be honest, this particular version was what prevented me from acquiring the Visconti-Sforza for so long! A man beating an animal is not at all how I experience Strength, but with historical decks it's critical to understand the context in which the deck art was created. In this case, it's meant to be a man keeping his pride and baser impulses in check. Still, I much prefer to see the friendship between a woman and a lion, bear, boar, or any other similar wild and fierce creature. To live in harmony with the wild within us is far healthier than to beat it into submission!

All of that said, this card makes so much sense for me (and I love the Leo connection between the eclipse and the card itself!). For months now I feel I've been getting to know more intimately than ever before my own wild nature; learning about how to stretch my wild limbs. I feel like a wolf on the inside, and sometimes even see one in my mind's eye when closing my eyes to fall asleep. How do I embrace this birth and still try to hold onto balance? The answer is: I can't always. Birth is messy. And that has largely been my focus for some time now. It's not always pleasant, but then sometimes it is, and I am filled with this glorious and wonderful power of my own feral self.

What illusions are being brought into the light? 8 of Swords rx

Patterns and paradigms have a way of turning in on themselves. Over this past summer I've come to startling and moving realizations about my own mental cages, the constructs that have kept me locked into a particular way of being that no longer fit me anymore. I was too big, and the surroundings too uncomfortable. I was ambling along, quite unaware of what was happening to me, and then one day, I woke up.

How can I embrace my shadow medicine? Knight of Swords rx

The Knight of Swords has long been my shadow warrior. He is upside down because he is my flip side. The Knight of Swords sees so clearly, and is not blinded nor deterred by the ebb and flow of sentimental tides. Once you see, you cannot (and should not) unsee, and there is great strength and conviction available there, in staying in that awareness. This Knight has kept me focused, has encouraged me to speak my truth, even when that truth is sharp and piercing. The determination and forward orientation of the Knight has kept me moving, even when I am uncertain of the destination.

What paradigm shifts will emerge after the eclipse? 2 of Wands

Themes of personal power and the willingness - readiness - to explore new landscapes (both outer and inner) have formed the backdrop of all of "this." If the 8 of Swords directly symbolizes the paradigm shift, the 2 of Wands is the door to new ways of understanding and engaging with myself and my space.

How can I harness potent medicine of the Solar Eclipse for my spiritual practice? 4 of Wands rx

In addition to some pertinent elements including "freedom" and "transition," this card is associated (via the Golden Dawn) with Venus in Aries. Learning how to honor my heart has been another fundamental theme this summer. The other day I pulled a card from the Raven Oracle (by Gabi Bücker) to serve as "food for thought" over the next handful of months - a sort of mantra or reminder when I need to refocus. The card message I received said: "Your heart is a treasure trove - not some smelly sewer." I laughed at that last bit, but the essence is true and relevant for me now. Love is everything; our hearts can handle limitless amounts of it, in all of its many forms. I want to explore all of the love that my heart has to offer, and that is certainly a spiritual practice.

Message from the Sun: 8 of Cups rx

In order to walk a new path, is it necessary to leave behind the old? Can I search my soul, honor myself, live authentically by transforming "what was" instead of discarding it? I think so. And at any rate, I believe that is the "question of the moment" that the Sun is presenting for my consideration.

Captain of My Ship

I was too busy last week to pull my normal "draw for the week ahead" and I even managed to forego my Monday-draw for my Facebook page. Finally yesterday afternoon I settled down to pull a "where I'm at, and what to do about it" reading. Rather than looking at the week ahead I decided to simply do a check-in for myself. Later I realized that it was not only the evening of the full moon, but it was the full moon-eclipse-bloodmoon-in-Aries. Wow! That is quite the lunar action! So not only did my reading make sense for me, it took on even greater meaning once I learned about the moon activity taking place on that very same day.

I pulled the following line of three cards: 10 of Swords, 7 of Wands reversed, Emperor

Prisma Visions Tarot/J. Eads

Often when I look at a line such as this, I read it almost like Lenormand. The first card highlights the matter at hand, the middle card illuminates an important element in regard to the matter (how I feel about it, an effect or impact, etc.) and the third card is a result or conclusion, sort of a "what to do or be aware of next." There is some flexibility to the interpretation, but in a general sense this is what I do.

Here I have the 10 of Swords as the "matter at hand," which is interesting because I pulled this card as representative of my month of October about a week ago. It's quite true in terms of the general state of things in my environment. I'm exhausted - feeling rather overworked and stressed out by my job. In some ways it's a good thing, and I always appreciate a challenge. But there are a lot of unknowns at play at the moment that have had me questioning the point of all that I'm doing. So in a physical sense, the aspects of this card that speak to exhaustion and even back pain are right on the money. In another sense I do also feel that I'm in a phase that's closing out to make way for some new thing that I can't yet see. What I like about the 10 of Swords is the aspect of closing out the old, putting matters to rest, scraping away the ineffective in order to make way for healthy growth. And in some not-so-literal ways, I feel some of that unfolding.

The 7 of Wands appeared reversed, which does make sense, because when I feel overwhelmed it's like having my flame muted or dimmed. Rather than simply meeting challenges head-on and knowing I can handle them, I have moments where I want to hide in a quiet place by myself and take a break from the world; moments when I am not so confident that I can handle change in the way that I want to do. What the 7 of Wands encourages me to do is to remember that I can do it, always. That my "down" moments are brief and fleeting, and that all of this is reminiscent of something like the discomforts of labor - difficult, painful, draining, but ultimately leading to something important and good. In the image on this card a person is alone, leaping from stump to stump out over a lakeshore. The sky is alight with color and movement. I've done this before. I've faced difficult situations and I've navigated them not without anxiety, but with grace and ability nonetheless. By remembering what I've done in the past I can fortify myself for the present and future.

The Emperor made me smile when I saw him. I've pulled this card several times of late, which is a nice complement to the Empress that has been following me as well. The Emperor reminds me that I have the power and strength to be the captain of my ship. He is the great architect, creating and organizing the structure of the surrounding world such that order is established and progress can be made. I find immense comfort and encouragement in that energy. Above all the Emperor is connected to Aries, and I was born with the moon in Aries, which is where it is currently located during this super-full-blood-moon eclipse. Aries underscores boldness, power, and forceful-yet-controlled action. If I was looking for extra strength to get me through this time of transition, I couldn't have asked for a better card. So, taking the Emperor into my heart and soul over the next few weeks, I'll focus on this:

"To be like the fiery ram, captain of my ship."

O Moon!

This morning I pulled my regular Lenormand line of 3, and also decided to pull a Tarot card of the day. In my intensive Lenormand study I've been somewhat neglecting Tarot, and as we say in Spanish: me hace falta!

Daily draws, whether you use Tarot or Lenormand, represent toned-down versions of whatever card you happen to pull. So let's say you pull the Tower, and your first instinct is to shrink back in horror, hide your face in the pillow and swear you'll never leave the house for the rest of the day. It probably won't be quite that bad. In fact I remember once I selected the Tower for a weekly draw, and my stomach did a flip or two….it turned out that my husband dropped his new phone and the screen cracked, and our car battery needed to be replaced. Not cool, it's true, but also very manageable and certainly not the end of the world!  A daily is along those lines, or perhaps even milder or more subtle if it covers the major energies in a single day.

So first I drew my three Lenormands and pulled:

Moon - Anchor - Cross

Enchanted Lenormand - Caitlin Matthews

Sigh. The Cross is not a pleasant card, and falling at the end of the line it gives a difficult little cap to my reading. These are the moments when remembering it's "just a daily" is actually a comfort. The Moon and Anchor are my two principal work-related cards - Moon is about your reputation and how people see you, while the Anchor is about job stability and security. So immediately my thoughts went to how my work day would go. I normally teach one intensive course each week, but this week due to limited faculty, I'll be teaching two, and today is my first day tackling this double schedule. In light of this, I can see this reading as being about the burdens (Cross) of work (Anchor), and the recognition by others (Moon) that I'm juggling this difficult schedule. 

Some see the Lenormand Moon as also representing emotions - I don't tend to see it this way usually, but thus far it actually makes sense. I'm a pretty emotionally steady person (Moon - Anchor) (my sister always called me "even-keeled"). Here then I see a difficult burden that impacts my emotional stability. Well I did have a very uncharacteristically intense argument this morning, so ain't that tha truth, Cross. In fact, I was pretty cross. My cross feelings disturbed my emotional stability. Yep.  And it's fair to say that my cross-ness definitely disturbed my reputation (Moon) for being relatively calm. And also that I was seen by another (Moon) to be cross. 

So there we have it! Both work out very well together.

Moving on to my Tarot daily: Moon!

Golden Tarot - Kat Black

Different cards, very different divination system, same symbol. Hmm….. The Tarot Moon (to me) is often about exploring the unknown, especially insofar as our deepest feelings are concerned. It, unfortunately, often carries difficult connotations of unhappiness and confusion (a bit more like the Lenormand Clouds). On the other hand in some cases it highlights deep wells of creativity that are accessible to the person being read. 

Given what I've already stated about my day, this Moon still fits. I don't like misunderstandings, or losing my cool. The person I argued with is most certainly feeling the dark side of the Moon, and a distinct lack of the creative energies that Moon offers, and that has definitely colored my morning, and left me feeling slightly melancholy (also a Moon-y trait). 

Two Moons in one morning! And a third tonight - the Blood Moon will shine, and they say that this eclipse is bringing some particularly challenging elements with it, so hey, it all fits nicely, now doesn't it? ;-)

Update: I also had quite a nice evening at mediumship class - very much the Moon it all its positive glory! And at 3am I was out under the dark sky watching that red moon! (Where's the second round of coffee???)