Guest Post: To Be Loved Is to Be Given Life

Today I'm featuring a guest post written by none other than my mother, Cecilia Skidmore: licensed counselor, grief and change expert, former radio host, and MBTI administrator (to say very little!). To read a bit more about her click here, and to view her blog click here.

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"TO BE LOVED IS TO BE GIVEN LIFE" - those words were written years ago by the artist wife of my minister and he used them as a Christmas card the year following her death. To be loved is to be given life -odd words for a memorial for someone who has died. What does that mean? Given life...

In our society, in relatively recent times, we avoid mention of death. We left the armbands behind, left the wakes held at home behind, left the formal mourning periods behind. Death is a spectre, just like on Halloween, hovering in the shadows of our homes, our lives, our minds, and we use a great deal of energy trying to find a way to shut the door on those shadows and seal them off forever.
When our childrens' pets die, we buy another. The illusion is that life is replaceable, that pain can be erased in the blink of an eye with a new puppy. When our parents die, we keep our children home from the funeral. We keep our tears and pain inside, so that they (and we) won't have to experience that so uncomfortable emotion, despair. It feels so out of control and so intense that we fear we might frighten the children. So, while we can't replace Grandma with a new puppy, we can act as if it's ok that she died. We might even pretend she's "away" or "asleep," common euphemisms for the word "dead." We can not talk about her; we can fill the space she had in our lives and in our homes with other people or more work - or a new car. Or a new love. The hole is not only a physical one (she's not in that chair anymore) but a spiritual one and a psychological one- and we race around desperately trying to fill it with everything and anything except the few things we really need.

Golden Tarot - L. Dean

We need a light to shine on those dark spaces in our psyches where death lurks. We need to look death square in the face--and when we do, we find that death looks very familiar. It looks like us. It looks like our loves and our hopes, but also like our failures and lost dreams. It looks final, though - like we don't get another chance. Perhaps that scares us the most. And perhaps it should. We need to say and do important things now - not after they are no longer here.

We need education. Sit with someone who is dying, as I have done at Hospice. When you spend time with a dying person, you find they are Person first. Not a spectre. They live, often better than before. They find great pleasure in people, in children, in animals. They still find joy in reading, in smelling fresh cut grass, in watching the birds on a snow-covered pine. They are thoughtful and less concerned with things tangible - like money or possessions, except as a legacy they might be leaving a loved one. But they are very real, very human - very alive.

5 of Water - Gaian Tarot
Joanna Powell Colbert

We need to ponder what comes after death. (I firmly believe in reincarnation until someone I love dies - then the thought of them embarking on a new life when I've just arrived in Heaven seems so sad - so I revert to the safety of clouds and harps.) We need to read books, talk about it with friends, and weigh what we learn. A firm belief in something greater than ourselves, or a firm belief in the natural cycles of life and death on earth can be comforting.

We need to learn about grieving as well. It helps to have a belief about life beyond death - but usually that's not our biggest concern when a loved one dies. An incredible amount of the pain of grieving comes not from worry about where they are, but from the fact that they are not here with us. Grief can be an emotional, psychological and physical maelstrom. So much is unanticipated, unexpected. We experience a gnawing in our guts, a weariness in our bones, a breaking of our hearts. When my mother died, some thirty years ago, I wrote a poem:

"This morning when I woke up, I found my heart had been ripped from my body....What I want to know is... why am I still alive?"

We become forgetful, losing moments, hours, names, faces, appointments. We see things: the look of our beloved on a stranger in the hardware store - or visions that are so real, but impossible to explain.

We hear voices - or we are visited in our dreams.

We remember and remember and remember - with others, on paper, in our daydreams and our night dreams. We relive so many moments, trying to keep them alive and here with us. We are so afraid to forget.

Vision Quest Tarot

And people, other loving, fearful people try to push us forward, to get us (and themselves) away from the pain. So gradually we have our lost loved ones in our lives (so it doesn't hurt) and we gradually talk less about our beloved - so it doesn't hurt. But the hurt comes from a deep would and deep wounds take a long time to heal.

So we need to know about grieving and how long it will take. Hiding from the spectres of death and grieving leave us unprotected from the turmoil they bring. If we know, we can take care of our needs, learn to share our pain and not be overwhelmed. Grief happens all our lives, if not from death, then from divorce, or job loss, or moves, or aging. The grief experience is the same, and it carries compound interest from all the others before it. The more we know, the more we can help ourselves and our children.

At last we can take the time and energy to begin to understand who we are now - after.

When someone dies, they are transformed. Some faiths believe our souls go to a heaven of clouds and harps where we live happily ever after. Some believe literally that God's house has many mansions where we will all go,, and other that only they will receive everlasting life. Some believe in a seemingly endless cycle of life, learning, death and rebirth until we reach oneness with God. People who don't believe in a God or afterlife acknowledge that at least the body becomes part of the earth again, fertilizer, renewing other life.

The reality is, when someone dies, they are transformed - whatever you pay attention to.

Earthbound Oracle

But so are we - we who are left behind. The person we were when our beloved was alive changes - in sometimes very subtle, sometimes profound ways - always viscerally. So when the time for mourning and grieving has passed, when we awake to a new morning, free of the deep pain, we are newborn.

We are a fresh creation.

But we have not left our beloved behind. We have not forgotten. If death is like a shedding of our outer skin, a metamorphosis, grieving and healing from grief is like communion - an absorption into our living flesh, our changing psyche, our evolving spirit - of the essence of our beloved.

It's hard to understand - ask someone who has grieved. Those parts we thought were gone forever have now become part of us. And with that transplant comes a new human being - broken, but stronger at the broken places, as Hemingway said. Malleable, but firm, solid and real, but transcendent. All those cliches about dawn after darkness, spring following winter - are real, true.

They are true because love and grief are inextricably bound. We don't grieve what we never loved. We grieve only those things or people who have enriched our lives and given it meaning. When we love deeply, we grieve deeply. But we do not forget. And in our remembering we keep our loved one alive.

To be loved is to be given life.

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Ashé

Lammas Tarot Blog Hop: Rediscovering Our Joy

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Welcome to the Lammas 2015 Blog Hop! Please use the links at the top or bottom of this post to navigate to the other wonderful blogs in this circle.

Our wrangler, Joanne Sprott, has asked us to discuss the influence of the Sun in the Tarot, and/or of Mercury from a favorite Tarot or Oracle deck. I've decided to focus on the Sun (or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that the sun called me to focus on it!).

One morning, recently, I was looking out my kitchen window in the early hours of the morning, enjoying the glint of the rising sun through the green landscape. I thought about how interesting it is that the angle of light can bring out so many lovely details in even the simplest of things. This spurred the thought:

How does the illumination of the sun invite us to see things in a new light?

New Orleans Voodoo Tarot/S. Glassman

On a mundane, earthly level, the sunlight filtering through green leaves, flowers, and grasses imbues nature with a golden glow that can be absolutely breathtaking. My favorite time of day to "take in" my back yard is in the early morning during the time of year between early June and late August. The rising sun lifts into the sky at a precise angle that lights up the tall bushes and shrubs along our fence line such that it looks as if a magical door has materialized. Golden beams glint off emerald hibiscus leaves just outside my window, and long shafts of brilliance stretch over the lawn, leaning into secret crevices in our maple tree. It's a beautiful sight to behold. And just as fast as it appears, the magic is gone, the sun rises high into the day-time sky and the back yard looks ordinary once again.

A golden arch opens as the sun rises

In the Tarot, the Sun can symbolize success, health, and happiness, even enlightenment - not the sudden revelation of the Tower, but a softer, joyful clarity. In the New Orleans Voodoo Tarot, Trump XIX Gros Bon Ange represents our immortal essence, the spark of divinity within us, and as such reflects our capacity to experience and express all-encompassing love and joy. There is deep power in that.

How does our ability to experience these two profound emotions influence the way in which we perceive our environments, our relationships, and our Selves? 

Stone Tarot/A. Stone

Many depictions of the Sun card show children because they are, generally speaking, great emissaries and teachers of both joy and love. But this symbol also represents the children that live inside of us, the aspect of our being that is purest, most innocent, and most joyful.

At times along our earthly paths we experience great difficulties that cast long shadows over our hearts and souls, and challenge or inhibit our ability to know love and joy. It is in these moments where rediscovering our connection to Sun energy is most crucial.

The Dalai Lama said: "Seeking joy and freedom from suffering is the birthright of all beings."

Interestingly, my cousin, Junior, posted a quote the other day that read: "Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional." I really appreciated the root of that message, and decided to investigate its origins online. This brought me to an article from Psychology Today, written by Dan Mager, M.S.W., wherein he discusses how mindfulness and positive thinking mark the difference between the healthy management of (and recovery from) physical and emotional pain, and the experience of suffering. In other words, it's about how we respond when "bad shit" happens.

Vision Quest Tarot/Tarot De St. Croix

At the start of the article the author quotes Dr. Viktor Frankl (Holocaust survivor, among other things):

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

I had just been thinking about this very idea several days prior after having heard an argument where one party reacted strongly, bitterly, and rapidly to a perceived affront. When asked, "Why do you act that way?" the person replied, "I can't help it, that's just how I am!" I thought, That way of thinking is how we choose not to do or be better. There is a moment immediately following the occurrence of a difficult situation, a brief, liminal space, where we decide how we will respond, and there is wisdom in slowing down just enough to allow that moment to touch us.

Becoming aware, or mindful, is important, but not necessarily easy (none of the things in life that are truly worth it are particularly "easy"). So how do we open our Selves to experiencing the love and joy that are our birthright? How do we increase our awareness of, our capacity to experience, Sun in our lives? To address this, I've created a spread:

Card 1: In what way do I feel limited in my ability to embrace joy?

Card 2: How can I help open myself to receive joy?

Card 3: In what way do I feel limited in my experience of love?

Card 4: How can I become more aware of the love in my life?

Card 5: What is my deepest longing?

"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves." -Buddha

Happy Hopping!

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May Day Blog Hop 2015: Hard is Real

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Welcome to the May 1st 2015 Tarot Blog Hop! Please use the links at the top and bottom of this post to navigate through the circle of bloggers. Our wrangler, Morgan Drake Eckstein, has asked us to discuss the "difficult" cards in the Tarot deck, such as the Tower, Death, 10 of Swords, 3 of Swords, and the Devil. How do we work with cards like these? What do we tell clients? 

Last July I wrote a post about Death which covers the essence of how I feel about this topic. I'd like to repost it here, but first I want to mention some additional thoughts I have about why these cards are so important, and how versatile they really are:

Pamela Colman Smith Commemorative Deck
U.S. Games Systems

1) It's a slight misconception that receiving "difficult" cards in a reading is always a turn-off; sometimes it’s cathartic to receive a card like Death, or the 3 of Swords, in a reading because it acknowledges where we’re at. Sometimes all we really need is to know that we’re not struggling in a vacuum.

2) Without light, there is no shadow. We feel relief because we struggle. We hurt because we have loved. The dawn can only come after the night has passed (you get the idea). We read for the whole story, not for an idealized version of reality. Grief is part of life. To erase, or minimize, the difficult cards would be to ignore and gloss over the deeply real, painful, important parts of what it is to be alive. (I'll talk more about this in regards to Death, below)

3) Cards have degrees of intensity (even upright). Sometimes the 10 of Swords signifies a painful ending, but sometimes it’s back pain or exhaustion. The 3 of Swords can mean heartbreak or betrayal, but it can also highlight a sense of disappointment or subtle loneliness.

4) Change isn’t always external, or relationship-based; it doesn’t always mean that your house is going to burn down, or that job loss is imminent. Sometimes it’s about our inner worlds, our perspectives on life. The Tower can represent sudden illumination, a breakthrough that changes your understanding of a situation, or of yourself. It can be transformative and exhilarating, surprising, maybe, but not necessarily disastrous. And if it covers a short span of time, it can be perfectly mundane (the Tower was my weekly draw once when my cell phone fell and broke and my car battery died).

These cards are here for a purpose. They are just as crucial and necessary as the Star, the Sun, and the 2 of Cups. We should not edit the Tarot deck (as we discussed last Hop); if anything we should edit, or clarify, our intentions, release our expectations, prior to requesting, or conducting, a reading.  If we can approach the reading process with an open heart and a discerning mind, great insight, truth, and healing is available, no matter what cards appear in our spread. 

Silver Witchcraft Tarot - XVI Tower
Moore/Rivoli, Llewellyn Publications

Now I want to share a post that I composed specifically about the Death card, titled "Death Isn't Just a New Beginning":

"I've read several times recently (and it comes up quite a lot) that Death is nothing to be scared of, it simply means a new beginning, and isn't that wonderful?

I think this happens because of the over-vilification of Death in the past, especially on television shows or in the movies, where the card was played up as a symbol of impending doom, and usually physical death. There are many readers that want to make the card more friendly by now playing up the "new chapter" of life that is a natural result of big change, but I think that mindset, while understandable, robs the work that Death does, detracts from the importance of its process in our lives.

Because Death is a process. It's not called the "New Beginning" card because before something new (regardless of how wonderful it is) can begin, something else has to end. And with endings comes mourning, struggle, fear, and loss. And those are challenging emotions to experience, but there is great catharsis in allowing that grief to unfold. Anyone who has experienced the energy of the Death card understands that there is far more to it than a nice new start (even though if we have any awareness of what that new phase might be, it may serve as a nice focal point for us while we're in the trenches). It's work! It's sad, and it hurts, and at the same time there is a touching beauty to it because it's a sacred aspect of the experience of being alive, and of growth.

Vision Quest Tarot
Winter/Dose, U.S. Games Systems

I hope that all readers honor that sacred space if Death should appear in a reading. Rather than rushing to the "happy ending," place value on the journey involved.  It's true that having to convey difficult messages is a skill readers must work on (and one that takes time to develop) and sometimes it's easier to play up the sunny part - the new start - but it's really an art worth honing so that the full and powerful message that Death symbolizes isn't lost in translation.

I read a wonderful quote today that quite honestly made me cry, and it's the truest definition of the Death card (and some many recognize the Tower here as well) that I've ever read, and I want to share it with you:

“Whatever can be threatened, whatever can be shaken, whatever you fear cannot stand, is destined to crash. Do not go down with the ship. Let that which is destined to become the past slip away. Believe that the real you is that which beckons from the future. If it is a sadder you, it will be a wiser one. And dawn will follow the darkness sooner or later. Rebirth can never come without death.” 

― Robert M. Price"

Finally, in honor of all of those "difficult" cards, here is a powerful, soul-piercing song from Ulali about death, healing, and honoring our ancestors:

Happy May Day, Happy Beltane, Happy Hopping!

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Spring Fling Tarot Blog Hop: Saving the Hierophant

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Welcome to the Blog Hop celebrating the Vernal Equinox! See the links above, or at the bottom of this post, to continue navigating through the circle of blogs, and should you lose your place, you can always access the Master list.

(Please note! The URL for this blog has changed to www.firstearthtarotandroot.com)

Our hop wrangler this time around is Ania Marczyk, and she has set a cool task for all of us hoppers: 

"The standard Tarot deck is over 500 years old and the cards are very much a product of that time, particularly the Major Arcana and Courts. So I am asking you to consider which cards you think need to be updated, removed or added to reflect our modern society?

Are there any glaring omissions? What is redundant? Which card has you scratching your head wondering where it fits in today? Or do you think that archetypes are so universal that there is still a relevant place for all, be they Hermits, Pages, Knights or Emperors?"

My basic answer to this is: no, I don't think the deck needs to be changed, updated, or altered in any way. But if I ended on this note, it'd be a very boring post! So I'm going to talk about a card that I know that many people struggle with: the Hierophant. I understand that some people are turned off by this archetype due to negative experiences with organized religion, or because they resent the idea that a spiritual authority figure might hold the only key to the divine. Setting aside the role of the Hierophant as representative of higher education, therapy, and the like, I want to focus on the role that this archetype plays specifically in terms of religion and the spiritual journey, using my own life as an example.

Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot
U.S. Games

I always felt a bit unmoored in terms of spiritual practice, as a kid and young adult. I didn’t have a tradition or framework in which to map my mystical experiences, or spiritual elders (aside from my mother and step-father) to whom I could go for deeper understanding of the mysteries of life. I knew that God existed, without a doubt, and was raised with various aspects of religion and spirituality such as Christianity, indigenous mythology and practice, and Buddhist ideology. I always had some level of sensitivity to "other worlds." I appreciated all religious paths, recognizing all of them as having beauty and truths to offer, while simultaneously understanding that none of them were the “one, true way.” How could they be? We arrive at the sacred in a multitude of ways, we pull it from inside our bodies, surround ourselves with it like an embrace from the sun, consume it with every breath we take. Yes, the divine is within us. However I was deeply missing a sense of anchoring in a specific tradition, a form of practice, and a community.

I came to Lukumí in a roundabout way. When my husband, Jorge, and I first moved in together a decade ago our altars sat side-by-side: my buckskin covered with sage picked from Pine Ridge, stones that carried special significance for me, a small vessel of earth, feathers; his Elegua and Ogun and Ochosi with honey and candy and jacks and pennies scattered about. I never thought much about it (except for once when the cable guy came to fix a cord and I realized that he had a prime view of our pair of altars, and must wonder what he’d gotten himself into by coming into our home!). It was a few years later when we’d moved on to a new house, that I decided to teach our older daughter about the Orishas (divine, saint-like beings). I created a binder for her, and each page contained therein covered a separate Orisha, and all the meanings and associations attributed to him/her. It’s funny – I distinctly remember quizzing her on them - “And Ochosi? What are his colors? Tell me about him.” - and yet I didn’t have any particular impulse at that time to practice Santería; I simply wanted my kids to understand elements of the tradition. To this day I have no idea where that binder ended up….

Wildwood Tarot
Will Worthington

I dove back into card reading more intensively in about 2006 and the years passed. Elegua and Yemaya and Ochun and Obatala, Ochosi and Ogun, had come to feel like family members to me; I cared about them. When my husband went through a difficult time in his life, it was I who lit the candles and put out alpiste for Elegua, who sat at the oceanside and quietly beseeched Yemaya to help heal him. When he took a distant trip, I was so anxious that I prayed with Ogun to protect the car. I didn’t really know what I was doing at the time; I only knew they were part of me, of our household, and that we were part of them, and I did what I could.

It was probably a year later that I had my first consulta with a babalawo in Cuba, and five months after that our close friends from Cuba came to Miami, and we reconnected. The young boy my husband had last seen in Cuba years earlier was now a young man and babalawo, and he would become my padrino in Ifá.  On the night of Ochun’s feast day, September 8th, I dreamed that Elegua, my best friend, came to me and told me that he would help organize my initiation into the religion. It was immensely touching. About three months later I received my Warriors, and two months after that I received ikofá along with my daughters, and my son (who received awofakan).

New Orleans Voodoo Tarot
S. Glassman

The religion of Lukumí has given me a deeply rich and satisfying focus, tradition, and practice for my spirituality. My relationship with the saints is humbling, empowering, strengthening, grounding, and above all, loving. I have a community of practice in Florida and Cuba, family who, along with me, experience the tapestry of life through which Santería/Lukumí is woven. My younger daughter comes to me and asks if she can take a dollar from her birthday stash and give it to her Elegua; I consent, moved by her desire. When she peeks over my shoulder to see what I’m doing online, I tease her: “Mmhmm…. Just like your sign from your itá said, too curious for your own good!” She laughs and walks away.

In Tarot, the card that always pops up in regards to my relationship to my faith community, or to initiation, is the Hierophant. The Hierophant represents tradition, knowledge, group experience, learning, and guidance. All of those are elements of my path in Lukumí. The Hierophant does not say “my way is the only way,” or “I am your only connection to the divine.” The Hierophant is simply a bridge – one of many – to help us understand our lives and explore our faith within the context of a deeply rooted traditional and mystical practice.

Vision Quest Tarot
Gayan Silvie Winter, Jo Dose

In my extended family the Hierophant manifests in many ways: my sister’s love of her Islamic faith, my cousin’s Hindu customs that she has passed on to her children, my brother’s deep Catholicism. All of us coexist harmoniously together. There are touches of Buddhism, indigenous American practices, ancient pre-Christian European influences. All of these are woven into our fabric of life, our spiritual journey, our communities of practice, and the Hierophant’s energy permeates it all.

Call it what you like - The Hierophant, the Shaman, the Master of the Head, the Ancestor, or the High Priest. In all of its forms, it has a sacred and universal place within the Tarot.

Happy Equinox!

(Please note! The URL for this blog has changed to www.firstearthtarotandroot.com)

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Imbolc Blog Hop 2014 - Tarot Healing and Creativity

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Welcome to the Imbolc 2014 Blog Hop! To access the blog of Arwen Lynch, click on "Previous," and to move on to Shauna Aura Knight, click on "Next." If at any point you'd like to see a full participant list, click on "Master"!

Our theme for this hop is "Tarot, Healing and Creativity," per our wondrous wrangler Christiana Gaudet from Tarot Trends. The title of my blog is "Tarot Healing", rather than "Tarot, Healing…" I made this subtle edit to highlight even more intentionally the healing benefits accessible through use of tools of divination.

First I thought I'd start off by talking about some Tarot cards that come to my mind most immediately when I think of "healing," and then I'll end with a short spread I put together with this theme of "healing through divination" in mind….

Four cards that speak of healing to me:

7 Stones, Wildwood Tarot

One aspect of the 7 of Pentacles relates to the benefits of taking time out to assess where you've come from and where you're headed.  This version from the Wildwood Tarot speaks of this brief "time out", and adds a healing twist. When I see this card it reminds me of the dangers of becoming so absorbed with your work that you forget to replenish your energies, and serves as a reminder of your true intent and purpose.

Wildwood Tarot
Matthews/Ryan/Worthington - Sterling Ethos

4 Swords, Deviant Moon Tarot

I like the 4 of Swords in general, but the depiction in the Deviant Moon is by far my favorite of all time. It speaks of burying yourself in the cool, dark, nurturing soil of the earth, letting that healing force support your rest and recuperation, giving you much needed time to realign yourself and re-assess your path ahead.

Deviant Moon Tarot
Patrick Valenza - US Games

Star, Vision Quest Tarot

I suppose this card's healing properties go without saying: pure faith, optimism, love, flowing energy and the knowledge that we're not alone, after all - we are all being guided. I like the inclusion of the Heron/Egret in this card, which brings to mind the idea of identifying our inner truths, and trusting that we are being led unerringly to where we need to be.

Vision Quest Tarot
Winter/Dose - US Games

Rebirth/Great Bear/Judgement

Really, there is nothing more healing than acknowledging and accepting your calling, finding the ability to be your true self, to give yourself the permission to be who you are meant to be, and to find courage to fulfill your purpose, whatever that happens to be.

DruidCraft Tarot
Carr-Gomm/Worthington - St. Martin's Press

3 Sisters Healing Spread

This is a spread I planned out in my sleep several weeks ago, and titled when I was awake (I am guessing I'm not the only person that this happens to??). When I think of the 3 Sisters I usually think of "corn, beans and squash." And some cultures believe the Sun to be male energy (though some, like in Norse mythology, see the Sun as female). For some reason that's the title that occurred to me, so I'm going with it!

Moon: What we must acknowledge in order to allow for healing to commence

Sun: The power/strength we draw from to help illuminate our shadow; the positive force behind our healing journey

Star: What guides us forward, inspires us onward, encourages our healing process over the long-term

Peace out, Happy Taroting, and Creative Healing to all!

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Those Perfect Little Readings

My oldest child is starting high school next fall, and in our county the school system is organized "magnet-style," allowing any student in the county to attend any school that has a program or focus that they're interested in.  Each school has their own emphasis, whether it's engineering, computer science, health care, or even culinary arts.  So she has been going back and forth between two options that she's attracted to, and keeps coming home with more and more paperwork and handouts and literature about each school.  Last night I told her we could do a little spread to see if the cards encourage one over the other.  I first decided that one school would be represented by Air, and the other by Fire (I used the Vision Quest Tarot by Gayan Silvie Winter and Joe Dose - U.S. Games).  I thought I'd just see if there was a majority of one or the other in a three-card draw.  This is what I pulled:

If you can't see well, that's the 4 of Fire (Completion), the Lovers, and the 2 of Air (Inner Peace).  Sigh.  One school sits on either side of the big decision.  4 + 2 = 6 = the Lovers.  It's like a perfect circle, a rounded out message saying "the choice is yours!"  When these perfect little readings manifest, sometimes I just want to laugh at the magic of it all.