Showing posts with label Sun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sun. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Rune Post #17: Sowilo

Happy Wednesday! Today's focus will be on Sowilo, the sixteenth rune of the Elder Futhark, and eighth (final) in the second aett.

Sowilo's literal meaning is "sun," and it connects to themes of confidence, success, achievement of goals, the sun wheel, guidance, optimism, energy, and honor.
Power of the Runes ~ Voenix (US Games Systems)
An Old English rune poem reads:

Sun is by sea-men
always hoped for
when they fare far away
over the fishes bath
until the brine-stallion
they bring to the land.

(I love the kennings in this one!)

Questions:

1) What other meanings do you attribute to Sowilo?

2) How do you utilize this rune in your practice?

3) If Sowilo has presented itself in your rune work or castings, how have you seen its energy manifested, or experienced its impact?

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future

For the month of December I am participating in a loosely heathen-centric Instagram challenge hosted by @MagnoliaMoonHolistic called #mmyulechallenge. For days 15-17 the prompts are very Charles Dickens: Ghost of Christmas Past, Christmas Present, and Christmas Future. As when drawn together this creates a nice spread, I've chosen to combine the days thus, and pull cards from the Dreams of Gaia Tarot:

Ghost of Christmas Past: 9 of Fire
Ghost of Christmas Present: 10 of Air
Ghost of Christmas Future: Major XIX
I love the mirroring of this line. The two end cards are fiery and bright, and the figures look outward, while the middle card has cooler colors (fitting for Air), and the woman is turned away, looking through a portal into the universe. Numerologically, the 9 and 10 make 19, reflecting and amplifying the energy of the Major Arcana card.

The 9 of Fire brings forth an energy of intensity and pressure. This image underscores the idiom "grace under fire." This man has absorbed and transformed the sense of chaos surrounding him, and has produced from it a white rose of peace and potential which floats between his hands.

The woman in the 10 of Air is processing the depths of a new personal paradigm. She is looking into the universe, into herself; she is willing to release, to be released, and thus to be reborn.

Major XIX in the Dreams of Gaia is called "Emotions" and in a similar vein to the more traditional Sun, it connects to the expression of joy and happiness; the invitation for those powerful experiences to be called forth, honored, recognized; to allow them to move, to breathe, through you.

In the past year I've certainly seen some radical and positive changes in my life. The 9 of Fire pressure that propelled me forward; that taught me about my will and fortitude; that pushed me to keep striving, and to keep my faith; ultimately fostered a particular experience of abundance and personal power that I'm sure has fed into the reconceptualization of the 10 of Air. The other day I was on a walk with my husband and I was telling him about how different I feel, how much I've grown in the last twelve months. I'm the same, and I'm different; I'm a better, stronger, more refined expression of myself. I see through new eyes. I see new possibilities. The hint of sadness that seemed to lurk for so long beneath the surface of my waking mind has evaporated. I feel the warmth of that joy unfolding, and I'm truly and deeply grateful.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

A New Moon Reading

For day 13 of the October Shadow Work challenge, the wrangler, Mnomquah, tasked participants with a New Moon reading:

The positions (and the cards I drew for myself) are as follows:

1) The Light - what you know and accept about yourself: Chariot
2) The Shadow - what is hidden from you about yourself: 10 of Swords
3) Why you fear your Shadow - what is preventing you from seeing or accepting your Shadow: Strength
4) Why you should embrace your Shadow - what are the positive sides of the Shadow that would benefit you? 7 of Swords reversed
5) How to integrate the Shadow into the Light - what steps you should take in order to accept your Shadow: 5 of Swords reversed
6) The Outcome - the possibilities if you succeed in bringing the Shadow into the Light: Sun and Judgement

Tarot of Vampyres
I have two cards for #6 because I had a "jumper" as I was thinking about that card position. So I've placed both the jumper and the additional card that I selected for that position, as partners.

As I pulled the cards the story that unfolded before me became more and more clear. I said in a previous post that each day of this challenge seems to offer a bit more detail that slowly helps me understand the bigger picture. It continues to be true here.

The fact that my shadow is represented by the 10 of Swords is very fitting. This is the card I pulled as representative of my month of October, and for this entire month I'm working each day with my shadow.
Tarot of Vampyres
I've already identified that part of this shadow work relates to reclaiming my personal power, and also that a predominant emotion that has emerged for me is sadness. When I saw the combination of the Chariot (as my light) and the 10 of Swords, I felt a very familiar sensation: that of powering past pain. The figure on the Chariot is aggressive and determined; nothing will stop him from achieving his goals. In the 10 of Swords I see (and feel) pain. This vampire woman has been knifed right in the solar plexus and lies agonizingly across a four-poster bed. It's interesting because this is often a card of being "stabbed in the back" and yet the source of my own pain often centers in the solar plexus. These cards represent two aspects of myself: the part that has experienced sharp, deep pain, and the part that insists on riding past it as swiftly as possible, hurrying away from the suffering as fast as my beast will take me; refusing to spend any more time in that dark space than is absolutely necessary. I will myself to move on because I can't bear the idea of lingering.

I've always been a very happy person. I am a peacemaker. I seek to understand and honor others. I tend to see the best in people. I am more trusting than suspicious. I want to heal others and make them happy. Joy is part of my essential nature, a core foundation of my soul. Throughout my life, from the time I was a very small child, I've had a visceral opposition to negativity, but most particularly to feelings of sadness or despair. Over a year ago I wrote a blog post for the Litha Blog Hop called "Joy and Shadows" in which I discuss how difficult it has always been for me to process sadness.

But as you grow up, you do experience pain, and some of it can feel unbearable at times. My instinct is to power past it. To distract myself through the worst of it, and to move on as quickly as possible, most especially when I feel betrayed and shamed. My desire has always been to let the difficult memories fade with time until they become nought but occasional and brief recollections of another era.

So the Chariot, my aware-self, streams past the shadow-pain of the 10 of Swords, using its pure Will to force the grief undercover.
Tarot of Vampyres
Card 3 represents what prevents me from seeing or accepting my shadow, and I pulled Strength. At first look this might seem strange: how would embodying strength, compassion, or resilience keep me from dealing with pain? And on one hand there is something to be said for the consequences of my desire to smooth things over, to bend over backwards being compassionate to the people who have hurt me, trying to understand others to the point of undervaluing my own experience. There is something potent there. But there is also another side: the Chariot, my light, is about hard control - using force and determination to get what is desired. It is externally oriented, it's about what you (and others) can see. Strength is about soft control, and it's internally oriented. In Strength, the black panther symbolizes this woman's fierce inner power, fully integrated. What that means to me is that by avoiding pain, I'm avoiding the opportunity become fully integrated with my own divine power. And that has been a major element in my shadow work.

The 7 of Swords reversed speaks to why I should embrace my shadow - the positive aspects that my shadow might afford me. This says that confronting, sitting with, accepting, working with (instead of against) my shadow is the ultimate act of honesty with myself, of reclaiming my power. It allows me to see who and what I am, to realize that I'm truly capable of making the changes that I want to see, of embodying the fiery qualities that I know I possess in my soul.

Position 5 deals with how I might integrate the shadow into the light, and I pulled the 5 of Swords reversed:
Tarot of Vampyres
I often think of this as the "bully card." What I really like about the imagery here is that in its inverted position (which is how it appeared) the prostrate girl changes positions with the demon. Upright the demon hovers over the young lady like a dark cloud, but reversed, she returns to the light. Symbolically this shows a turning of tides, a reversal of the difficult qualities of this card where the victim becomes the victor. This card suggests letting bygones be bygones, however in order to do that I need to give myself time and space to review my past. If I don't become fully aware of what I'm avoiding, it will follow me like... a shadow!.... right on into the future. The time is here to let go: have I truly forgiven my trespassers? What does it mean to "forgive and forget?" Can I forgive without forgetting, and if so, how do I keep the memory of difficult situations in my psyche without being drawn back into that pain? What does true forgiveness even look like? What shame or embarrassment still lingers in the background and how is it impacting me? How can I break free?

If I succeed in my efforts to integrate my shadow with the light, I have both Judgement and the Sun waiting for me:
Tarot of Vampyres
The Sun bounced happily out from the deck, and was interesting for two reasons: 1) according to my birth cards, the Sun is my shadow, in which case this shows that I will have literally reclaimed it, and 2) the card itself shows the essence of light and dark intertwined into a harmonious union. I decided to make a mental note of the Sun's presence, and I put it back into the deck to complete shuffling. When I finally pulled all of the cards, I was again quite impressed to see Judgement in this position #6. This is the card that represented yesterday's topic of "What I can't accept about myself." So again, this drives home the immense, powerful, and touching energies that I'm working with, and that with effort I can indeed achieve this. I decided, for curiosity's sake, to see what card was hiding behind Judgement, and lo and behold, it was none other than the Sun.

I have a lot more to say, far more to consider, and over time I'll do just that. But for now, it's tea time.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Lammas Tarot Blog Hop: Rediscovering Our Joy


Welcome to the Lammas 2015 Blog Hop! Please use the links at the top or bottom of this post to navigate to the other wonderful blogs in this circle.

Our wrangler, Joanne Sprott, has asked us to discuss the influence of the Sun in the Tarot, and/or of Mercury from a favorite Tarot or Oracle deck. I've decided to focus on the Sun (or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that the sun called me to focus on it!).

One morning, recently, I was looking out my kitchen window in the early hours of the morning, enjoying the glint of the rising sun through the green landscape. I thought about how interesting it is that the angle of light can bring out so many lovely details in even the simplest of things. This spurred the thought:

How does the illumination of the sun invite us to see things in a new light?
New Orleans Voodoo Tarot/S. Glassman
On a mundane, earthly level, the sunlight filtering through green leaves, flowers, and grasses imbues nature with a golden glow that can be absolutely breathtaking. My favorite time of day to "take in" my back yard is in the early morning during the time of year between early June and late August. The rising sun lifts into the sky at a precise angle that lights up the tall bushes and shrubs along our fence line such that it looks as if a magical door has materialized. Golden beams glint off emerald hibiscus leaves just outside my window, and long shafts of brilliance stretch over the lawn, leaning into secret crevices in our maple tree. It's a beautiful sight to behold. And just as fast as it appears, the magic is gone, the sun rises high into the day-time sky and the back yard looks ordinary once again.
A golden arch opens as the sun rises
In the Tarot, the Sun can symbolize success, health, and happiness, even enlightenment - not the sudden revelation of the Tower, but a softer, joyful clarity. In the New Orleans Voodoo Tarot, Trump XIX Gros Bon Ange represents our immortal essence, the spark of divinity within us, and as such reflects our capacity to experience and express all-encompassing love and joy. There is deep power in that.

How does our ability to experience these two profound emotions influence the way in which we perceive our environments, our relationships, and our Selves? 
Stone Tarot/A. Stone
Many depictions of the Sun card show children because they are, generally speaking, great emissaries and teachers of both joy and love. But this symbol also represents the children that live inside of us, the aspect of our being that is purest, most innocent, and most joyful.

At times along our earthly paths we experience great difficulties that cast long shadows over our hearts and souls, and challenge or inhibit our ability to know love and joy. It is in these moments where rediscovering our connection to Sun energy is most crucial.

The Dalai Lama said: "Seeking joy and freedom from suffering is the birthright of all beings."

Interestingly, my cousin, Junior, posted a quote the other day that read: "Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional." I really appreciated the root of that message, and decided to investigate its origins online. This brought me to an article from Psychology Today, written by Dan Mager, M.S.W., wherein he discusses how mindfulness and positive thinking mark the difference between the healthy management of (and recovery from) physical and emotional pain, and the experience of suffering. In other words, it's about how we respond when "bad shit" happens.
Vision Quest Tarot/Tarot De St. Croix
At the start of the article the author quotes Dr. Viktor Frankl (Holocaust survivor, among other things):

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

I had just been thinking about this very idea several days prior after having heard an argument where one party reacted strongly, bitterly, and rapidly to a perceived affront. When asked, "Why do you act that way?" the person replied, "I can't help it, that's just how I am!" I thought, That way of thinking is how we choose not to do or be better. There is a moment immediately following the occurrence of a difficult situation, a brief, liminal space, where we decide how we will respond, and there is wisdom in slowing down just enough to allow that moment to touch us.

Becoming aware, or mindful, is important, but not necessarily easy (none of the things in life that are truly worth it are particularly "easy"). So how do we open our Selves to experiencing the love and joy that are our birthright? How do we increase our awareness of, our capacity to experience, Sun in our lives? To address this, I've created a spread:

Card 1: In what way do I feel limited in my ability to embrace joy?
Card 2: How can I help open myself to receive joy?


Card 3: In what way do I feel limited in my experience of love?
Card 4: How can I become more aware of the love in my life?


Card 5: What is my deepest longing?


"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves." -Buddha

Happy Hopping!

Monday, June 1, 2015

The Vibrancy of the Sun

The little ones are off on their adventure and my husband and I are noting the uncommon silence in the household. My mother likes to pull daily cards from her Wildwood Tarot app, and this morning she told me that her card of the day was the Wanderer, otherwise known as the Fool. Well isn't that appropriate!

After I arrived home from the airport I pulled my own daily from the Navigators Tarot of the Mystic SEA - well actually I didn't pull it, it popped out in my face announcing quite clearly that it was The One. Well, it was a very nice one: the Sun!
Navigators Tarot of the Mystic SEA
J. Turk
A couple of things immediately come to mind: today is June 1st (the non-technical beginning of sunny summer), and my children departed this morning with such joy, their faces glowing. Beautiful. But there are some deeper layers here as well.

I was just musing about this card the other day as I was flipping through the deck, thinking to myself: "That lady is so me: stretched out, reading at her leisure. That is definitely a happy moment!" And hey, with my little beans gone for a while, I will have so much time to bask in the activities that I really enjoy, but sometimes am simply too busy to do as often as I'd like. Reading is one of those things. I love to read: fiction, biographies, how-to manuals, classic novels, teenage supernatural drama, esoteric literature, cookbooks - the whole gamut, pretty much. I see this woman laying in the warm sand, her nervous system lit up (she must be reading something good). The net before her seems to dip into her emotional depths, capture the ideas that form in her mind as she absorbs and processes the writing. The fire creature before her feels to me like smoldering flames of creative force ready to be put into action. Ten cups flow and overflow with water, symbolic of joy and emotional satisfaction.  The keyword here is "organization" which makes me think of the focus, form, and impulse that precede the attainment of our goals. This down time I have now is precious to me - it is time in which I can gather my thoughts, identify and clarify my objectives, and focus my creative fire in order to bring things into manifestation.

There's one place I know that's particularly good for thinking while under the sun, and I'm headed there later today: the beach!

And here is how I spent my day (after composing this post!):


Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The Barons Come Calling

I feel like I’ve been gone so long, I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve started to write this post a couple of times, and each time ended up stopping due to being entirely overwhelmed!

For a long time (months, I suppose) I’d been foreseeing a June full of changes. I saw that I’d perhaps experience something negative that would have potentially positive financial consequences, but had no idea what that would look like in real life. We were planning a trip to Michigan to drop the kids off with my parents for several weeks, and I saw some challenges and surprises surrounding that, but had no idea how that would play out either.  June was certainly a “full” month, and the trip to Michigan was not without its challenges, and in this post I’ll attempt to shed some light on the cards (and runes) I was seeing, and how things ultimately fell together…

 Wildwood Tarot
W. Worthington

When I did a New Year’s reading for myself, choosing a card for each month of the year, The Great Bear (from the Wildwood Tarot - similar to Judgment) fell into the position for June 2014. Likewise, when I did Jorge’s, the Journey (akin to Death) fell for the same month in his reading. That was enough for me to be very aware of what might develop during this particular month, and in the time leading up to June I did quite a few spreads with the intention of gleaning as much information as possible. I would see Lenormand cards that to me suggested an ending (or possibly illness or death!) that would help me financially. Naturally I was a bit nervous, but I also didn’t really know how that would manifest. I was hoping everyone in my family would be okay. On the first day of June I flew up to Michigan for 2 short days to attend the wedding reception for my sister. On the final afternoon I was looking at cards for the return trip and kept seeing cards like: Rider – Whip – Coffin, and Rider – Crossroads – Cross that had me anxious. Would my flight be canceled? No, it wasn’t, and it went on quite normally and according to plan. I wasn’t sure what those cards were about, even though such cards for daily draws are usually toned down, and hence don’t carry the same intense meaning as it might usually. Less than 24 hours later I was back home and sitting at a red light waiting to turn left, when I was suddenly hit by a man who had crossed through the intersection, passed over top of the median, and slammed into the side of my car. I was stunned, but fortunately didn’t have anything more than a few bumps and bruises, and some shoulder aches. This man had bounced off me and hit the woman behind me as well. In the end, he had no insurance to speak of, and my company was considering going after this man legally. I was prepared for a long and stressful journey. Interestingly, the insurance company deemed my car a total loss, and they paid off the remainder of the car loan, and then some. We had already considered downsizing to a single car for our family, but didn’t think we’d get enough in the sale to make up for what we had left of our loan, so it didn’t seem likely that we would be a one-car family anytime soon. Suddenly we were down to one car, I wasn’t too injured, and our loan was entirely gone.

All of that was challenging, yet ultimately worked out heavily in our favor, and I realized that this was the event I’d been seeing in my cards – not a death or illness, but definitely a severe ending that led to financial improvement. The side effect of the crash was that I passed through a period of deep existentialism. In Spanish we say “cuando te toca, te toca,” meaning that when it’s your time, there’s nothing you can do about it. I’m a good driver, a careful driver, but sometimes it just doesn’t matter how great you are. This man made a beeline right for me, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Looking back I realized that those cards I’d pulled before my return to Florida were precisely describing my accident and its location (at a crossroads). But there was nothing I could really have done about it. Even if I’d been aware that it was referring to a car accident, how could I have known which intersection, or in which manner it would unfold? Rather than being a negative thing, I saw this (and still do) as a powerful teaching experience for working with predictions, one that makes me a more skilled reader/interpreter.

Still, I was quite upset about the occurrence. I realized just how fragile things are, and how unexpectedly a millisecond can totally change your life. I didn’t have a hard time driving after that (though Jorge didn’t really want me to!), but I did experience anxiety when I was a passenger – I wasn’t in control, couldn’t gauge the velocity or time needed to stop the car – and every car that passed by or made a rapid movement really scared me and had me grabbing the seat, white-knuckled. I’m much better now, but that sense of treating each moment as precious and valuable still hasn’t left me.

New Orleans Voodoo Tarot
S. Glassman

During that time I had little desire to interact with the outside world. I became very focused on my private life – family, myself, my goals. I took an unplanned break from everything while shifting and reevaluating.  And along the way I kept reading about this big trip up to Michigan with the kids which would happen at the very end of June, and I was seeing cards like the Sun reversed, 3 of Swords, 5 of Cups…and that was concerning! I didn’t need another difficult blow. I was on the verge of canceling the trip simply to avoid any challenges. I pulled more cards from my Voodoo Tarot and drew the Barons – essentially a wild card that predicts unexpected chaos for which you can do nothing but keep your sense of humor. Really?

Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot

I pulled runes, and they all said the same thing: expect the unexpected!

I did what I could. I had Jorge fix everything on the car, change the tires and the oil. At least I didn’t want the car breaking down! On the morning of our departure I pulled three Lenormand cards: Lady – Bouquet – Ship. That was an incredible comfort to me – we’d have a comfortable voyage. And in the end our ride north was smooth, albeit long, and we arrived in Michigan without any problems. Whew!

But all of those cards and runes that had concerned me were entirely apt:

The Sun reversed, 3 of Swords, and 5 of Cups were spot on. I was heartbroken about leaving my kids behind with my parents. I knew they’d be in good hands, but my little son had never been away from us – ever – and I was deeply concerned that he would have a hard time adjusting. I was so sad. In fact Jorge and I were both sad enough to change our plans a bit. On the day we were originally going to leave to drive back home (sans kids) we decided that I would stay on for another week and Jorge would drive the car back on his own. He had to leave for Sweden a couple of days later so he couldn’t stay with me. So I alerted my work, took some extra vacation days, and bought a one-way flight back home for the following Sunday. Quite a significant change at the last moment!

Hagal

Then, on the evening of the day that Jorge left to drive home, I discovered that all of the kids had contracted lice. Isa had spent time trying on hats at H&M a couple of weeks before, and all the kids share the same hairbrush. So Jorge left, and I acquired lice shampoo, bedding spray, and nit combs, and went to work. I spent an entire day washing and combing out hair, spraying mattresses and washing clothes, and I spent several more days following that doing damage control (and being extremely paranoid). Meanwhile I could see the Barons laughing at me in my mind’s eye, and I just had to laugh along with them. Sometimes things get so crazy and out of hand that laughing really is the best, and maybe only, thing to do.

On his way back home Jorge told me that one of the tires kept losing air…one of the brand new tires we just had put on. He had to stop every couple of hours to refill it with air, and upon arriving at home he took it back to the auto shop at which point they showed him a large hole in the tire; we must have run over something on the highway and punctured the tire without realizing it. Fortunately he was able to change it so it was in perfect condition when I flew back into town.

My favorite part of all of this is that as I did these readings for myself prior to the trip, I wrote them down in my journal along with advice for myself. In fact at one point I told myself: “Things may not go according to plan. If money becomes a concern, don’t worry too much – money is just a tool.”  Um…yes!!!!!! Though I re-read this after the fact, it was still comforting to me. Indeed, many things deviated from expectation, and money was a very useful tool in this case. I’d also forgotten that I’d pulled cards on how to get through any complications, and my advice had been to go slow, be patient, and cover all the bases – but that ultimately I’d be okay. I suppose I should pay more attention to my own readings!

Experiences like this help give heightened perspective for readings that ultimately help us become far better, more discerning, wise, and careful readers, and I’m grateful for everything I’ve learned. In many ways my June was certainly the beginning of a Rebirth of sorts, and I’ll likely be riding the wave for some time to come.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Litha Blog Hop: Joy and Shadows


It's somehow ironic that, being the wrangler for this particular hop (which entails choosing the theme), I would experience writer's block, but that's just what happened between Beltane and Litha. I knew I wanted the focus to be "joy" because we spend so much time focused on what we can improve, or what needs tweaking, and not nearly enough time really basking in the glory of the joy that threads through our lives (at least that's how it often seems!). I'm a joy-person (not THE Joy Person - that's Arwen Lynch Poe!) and this is Litha, The Sun Celebration, so it all seemed very fitting!

New Orleans Voodoo Tarot
The divine light and joy within us!

So writer's block had me down, and then I found myself at the public library one evening with the three Joys of my life - my children!  As the little ones were climbing and arguing their way through the aisles with me, I happened across the Tarot for Life book by Paul Quinn, which I'd never seen before - neither at the library nor any other place that sells or rents books - (and after looking at its positive reviews on Amazon I realize I'm a late-comer to that game, and that it's completely crazy that I'm so in-the-dark) so I snatched it off the shelf. After settling the kids in the children's section with books and blocks and crayons, I myself settled down to give the book a cursory sifting. It took about 1.3 seconds for me to realize I'd found a wonderful source of Tarot wisdom, and one of the aspects of the book that most attracted me was that it covered the "shadow" aspect of cards in addition to the upright and reversed meanings. It's actually brilliant, and it resonated with my own reading experience quite potently. I've written before about cards in readings, where their upright orientation belies their true essence, and though I hadn't given it a title before, "shadow" aspects were indeed what I was encountering.

Llewellyn Publications
I happened to flip to the entry for the Sun card, and suddenly bells began to go off in my head - the shadow of the Sun! This was something I'd pondered for probably close to a year, after having calculated my Tarot birth card. I'd found that my personality card was the Wheel, my soul card was the Magician, and my Shadow card was nothing other than…the Sun! The first two made complete sense to me, but the Sun as my Shadow? I read and read and researched and thought and analyzed and considered, and nothing seemed to click in terms of what the Sun as my Shadow really meant for me.

Did it mean that joy or success were difficult for me to achieve, or that I'd spend my life always working on improving those things? Not really…..

Was it that my natural happiness wasn't accepted by my community (per Jung) leading me to try to diminish my own capacity for joy? No….

As I was flipping the pages of Tarot for Life things started to fall into place, like pieces of a puzzle. I've always been drawn to happiness like a moth to a flame, in order (perhaps) to create an environment that reflected my inner world. As a result I stayed as far from sadness as I could manage. This wasn't a conscious decision, but a visceral reaction.

I remember that I never liked melancholy music. One important memory I have from childhood is that my older sister would request that my mom sing her the song "Clementine" before she would go to bed. I hated it. I would plug my ears and bury my head in the pillow in order to avoid hearing it. I thought it was such a sad song (a miner lost his daughter when she fell into the sea and drowned!!), and I hated feeling sad. As I grew up that never really changed. I always preferred happy, vibrant music (for the most part - incidentally I've always been a big Blues fan!), I avoided any movies that highlighted pain and suffering (for the most part! - I did actually choose to watch Schindler's List because the Holocaust is something we should never forget). Sorrow was an extremely difficult emotion for me to process.

Zingdoodle Lenormand by Rootweaver

Don't get me wrong, I don't - and didn't - see the world through rose-colored glasses, nor did I shy away from difficult truths, or the bittersweetness that sometimes comes from living. Looking back it occurs to me that much of that connects with being empathic, and not knowing how not to absorb others' emotions as my own.  It makes sense then that I would have cringed at hearing Clementine - I was brought into the story, and felt the miner's pain, and the terrible sorrow of death (as funny as that may sound, as it's a children's song!). I've always felt a brilliant, joyful light shining from within me, and I wanted to just glow all the time, the full expression of my soul. And since life isn't happiness and light all of the time, my Shadow has truly been learning to face the pain and darkness that shows up from time to time along the way, and coming to understand through experience that while I still prefer being surrounded in positivity (who doesn't?), those painful times in fact provide valuable opportunities to grow, to understand myself (and others) better, and to become, ultimately, a more balanced human being. Additionally, as an empath a vital lesson is also to learn how to be supportive of others while learning how not to internalize their pain.

Ochun - Joy and Love
Image by Black Oshun Eternal

So what better time for this light of understanding to hit me than three days prior to the Litha Blog Hop, a time of Sun and Joy, a day of celebrating our fires before the gradual descent into the elongating shadows of Autumn….

To conclude, I want to bring this post back to the simple topic, so I will include a list of what brings me great joy:

-My children (as previously mentioned)
-My husband (I couldn't ask for a more supportive partner)
-Divination (as an extension of my sense of purpose and Will)
-My Joy (because it's simply joyful feeling an abundance of joy, and I'm grateful for it)
-My spiritual practices (with all the surprises, challenges, and stunning, awe-filled moments)

Go forth and be joyful, and build your Litha fires brightly!


Thursday, January 30, 2014

The Beauty of the Spread

Twice in the last week I’ve laid out cards for a reading and just sat there marveling at the beauty before me. Not just the meanings, or the flow of energy, but the images themselves, how they relate to each other, the story I see in how they connect, in their positions. Last night was one of these moments. I was doing a reading for a friend (who gave permission for me to blog about it) because he recently found that the trip he’d wanted to take to visit his mother next month might not work out due to some sudden financial obstacles. He was really counting on this trip, and wanted to know if it would be possible to make it work after all.  I drew three cards and also considered the card at the bottom of the deck for additional influences. I inquired about the energies surrounding the possibility of the trip happening and pulled:

5 Pentacles – 8 Pentacles – Sun reversed (Moon was the bottom card)

I used my new/old Mythic Tarot (Juliet Sharman-Burke, Tricia Newell, Liz Greene) which was a huge pleasure for me!

Mythic Tarot
Juliet Sharman-Burke, Tricia Newell, Liz Greene

When I lay out three cards without positions, the center card is always the “theme” for me, and the flanking cards give me extra information about the surrounding issues.  So looking at this spread I noticed that while my friend is feeling the pain of these new problematic developments, there is a chance that he’ll be able to work something out in the end.

The 5 of Pentacles speaks of feeling isolated, or closed-off. In this case it held double meaning as my friend was very keenly experiencing the separation from his mother (who lives in a different country), coupled with the deep sense of responsibility to visit her and help provide support for her. At the same time it represents the financial obstacles that were getting in the way of his plans. Suddenly he felt the wealth being stripped from him and held at a distance.

The Sun reversed felt like muted hope – things were suddenly muddled and unclear, the joy at the potential trip sort of started to flicker like a flame in the wind. I sensed a deep dampening of his spirit due to this new obstacle- not simply a momentary annoyance, but something deeper; a longer-term frustration at not being able to fully find joy in a new country without his mother, but also being unable to provide the kind of support for her that he has so often desired.  So the 5 of Pentacles really connected to the Sun reversed, the lack of resources and isolation mirroring the lack of joy bordering on mild depression.

Meanwhile the Moon shone above, lighting the rest of the cards with uncertainty and confusion…. All except for the 8 of Pentacles in the middle.

I love how the 8 of Pentacles forms the heart of the spread. It says to me that my friend can make his desire come true through hard work, perhaps some small sacrifices, a lot of dedication, and long-term vision. The man in this card is entirely concentrated on the task before him – he is disregarding the confusion, uncertainty, fears, and material lack. He knows that he can manifest his own wealth through focus, patience, and foresight. In fact the very same man wandering through the night in tattered robes in the 5 of Pentacles is featured on the 8 of Pentacles, creating his own way ahead.

Visually I love how the center card, the 8 of Pentacles, shines out from within the triangle of tribulations: the Moon sits above, the Sun to the right, turned on its head, the 5 of Pentacles sits to the left. The Moon card is reflected in the sky in the 5 of Pentacles – the moon shines down its illusion upon the poor wandering fellow.  The Sun and Moon are two celestial cards, and the Moon also reflects the light of the Sun. So I see a lot of mirroring going on here, where the lack of resources influences the sense of let-down and depression, which reflects back upon itself in the Moon, enhancing and perpetuating the difficult cycle.

And yet, back to the center card, the sky is bright, the man appears entirely unbothered by worries –  perhaps inside he carries a sense of anxiety, but he knows that only through perseverance and hard work will he reach his goal, and he won’t be deterred from the work at hand.  I love that focused, earthy core.

To me this is part of the absolute beauty of Tarot.  The cards carry meaning, but the images and positions provide so many layers to the story, that can be woven together, intersected and overlapped to create an almost painfully lovely response to the seeker’s question.

(Update: it was difficult, it required a lot of attention and creativity, but he was in the end able to visit his mother in March 2014)