A New Year

Wow! It's been three weeks since I last posted, which I think is a record. But I can explain...

Holidays.

December was a whirlwind month and toward the end I spent two full weeks (laptop free) in the north country enjoying the snow and cold breeze before heading back down into the warmth of the tropics. My son and I suffered a bout of strep throat at the start of our trip, and when I woke up on the day we departed for home, I once again felt a funny tickle in my throat (not likely to be strep again, though, and for that I'm grateful!).

We've been living in Florida for nearly five years, and I have adjusted to the unique climate. I enjoy that the winters are like a perfect northern autumn, and I appreciate not having to drive in ice and snow. I don't mind the intense heat of the summer months (though I'm not keen on the increase in insects that it brings!). I love the moody skies of the rainy season, especially in contrast to the deep dryness of the fall and winter months, where precipitation is so scarce we often have wildfire warnings.

However on this trip north I remembered just how "right" it feels to be in the snow.

One day we packed ourselves up and drove out to the country side for a romp in the woods (one of my favorite things to do, but something I rarely do in Florida due to the creatures that lurk in the shadows [insert scary music here]).

It was spectacular. It was a rare sunny day, with sparkling blue skies. The air temperature was rather balmy for January, at about 38 degrees.

The trees feel different in the north - good, like home. We do have oaks and maples and even pines in the deep south, but the quality of energy is not quite the same.

There were towering birch trees, which have always been a favorite of mine. As a child I would sometimes peel birch bark to make small baskets.

And the water, albeit freezing, felt so good in the hand. I laid down on my stomach on the damp, muddy riverbank and brought some of the cold water to my face.

Though I brought a deck with me on my trip, I ended up using my mother's Mythic Tarot quite a bit. The 8 of Wands has been following me around for the past few weeks, speaking of travel and movement, and communication.

I purchased a new playing card deck from a favorite local (to Michigan) brewery - Founders - and sure enough, my daily draw on the day we were set to fly back south was none other than the 8 of Clubs!

My husband surprised me with several beautiful and deeply thoughtful gifts. Here is a silver Norse arm ring.

This is a gold ring that he had etched with a portion from one of my favorite Havamal stanzas (57): "Fire is from fire quickened."

This is a Norse vessel pendant that almost appears to double as a mjölnir, complete with Thor's face up top (or, it could just be a person). It is a replica of a brooch found in a grave site in Bornholm, Denmark.

And this is the gold bracelet that was given to me as a baby. He opened it and finished the ends with gold caps and rubies so that I can wear it again (now that my wrists are quite a bit larger!!).

Altogether it has been a beautiful season, and I am filled with gratitude.

May your 2017 bring you all peace, joy, and abundance!

Least Favorite Card

The task for day 5 of the Shadow Work October challenge was to identify your least favorite card in the deck and discuss what that means about you. I spent quite a while in bed, sprawled out in the dark going over each card mentally, trying to find one that I don't care for. After some time I realized that I don't dislike any. However I eventually settled on the 3 of Swords:

Mythic Tarot

Obviously some cards are more difficult than others, but I appreciate them all. However the card that makes me hurt most for a client is when the 3 of Swords appears. At best it highlights deep disappointment and at worst profound sadness, heartbreak, and even betrayal. It's the most visceral and the hardest for me to shake off when a reading is finished.

What does that say about me? I care about and empathize with my clients and I probably have some boundary work to do!

Emmett Till and the Star: Coming to Terms with Racism in the U.S.A.

My son is one of the three greatest lights of my life. His innocent devilry, his spontaneous dances, his tender embraces, they are precious beyond what words can express. As most parents do, I wish for his safety in a world full of so many ills: violence, hate, ignorance, bitterness, racism and war. My son is mixed, but most of the world will see him as black. I know at some point he will brave that big, wide world, and probably will unwittingly come face to face with some of those ills. And I also know that as a black male, the beauty of his character, the joy in his heart, and the purity of his intentions will often come second to the color of his skin. It hurts to know this, and it's something I think about every day.

I live in Seminole County, Florida, the location of that terrible incident in which Trayvon Martin, an unarmed teenager, was murdered by the "neighborhood watch" while walking home from a convenience store where he'd just bought some candy. He was pursued because of his appearance, and when he was hassled, he did what most teenage boys would do - he gave attitude right back. And he died for it.

Trayvon Martin Rally

Two years ago a black teenage boy, Jordan Davis, was shot to death by a middle-aged white man at a gas station in Jacksonville, Florida because the kid was playing his "rap-crap music too loud." The shooter said that after confronting the teen and his friends in their car, he felt threatened by them, and decided to "take matters into his own hands." A gun was never found in the kids' car.

Just a few weeks ago Michael Brown, yet another unarmed, black teenage boy, was shot and killed by a police officer in Missouri after he was stopped for allegedly walking in the street at midday. The nation cried out in anger at the injustice. There were vigils, and marches, and the National Guard was called in. People wanted answers, and none of the answers being given were satisfactory.

The reality is that there is a deep-seated fear running rampant in this country: a fear of black men. Why? They might steal? They might be aggressive? They might have a gun? They might be gang members? They might be drug dealers? I want to fault the media for some of this, but it's not just the media - it's a far larger, deeper, more subtle and destructive sickness. We've come far since the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s, but not quite far enough.

Emmett Till

So I was sitting on my couch this afternoon, and I started thinking about Emmett Till, the 14-year-old boy (do I have to say "unarmed" again?) who was mutilated, shot, and sunk in a river in Mississippi in August of 1955 for the crime of allegedly whistling at a white woman. 1955. My mother was 3 years old. Segregation was still alive and well, the post-Civil War Jim Crow Laws still very much in effect. In 1955 anger and outrage was spreading across the country, and the Emmett Till murder was one of the great catalysts for the difficult, and at times deadly, work that followed in the fight for equality in the '60s.

I started thinking about that terrible tragedy, and about all the terrible tragedies that have occurred over the years and of late. I thought of how much I love, and fear for, my son, and how much hope I have that by the time he's 17 or 18 years old the world is at least a fraction kinder than what it is today. I decided to read on this issue.

I pulled four cards: one for Emmett, one for his murderers, and one for the energy of the environment at the time of his death. I pulled a final card to better understand the overarching impact of what happened to him.

Card 1: Emmett - 8 of Wands reversed
Card 2: His murderers - Fool reversed
Card 3: Energy at the time of death - 5 of Swords
Card 4: Overarching message: Star

Mythic Tarot
Juliet Sharman-Burke, Liz Greene, Tricia Newell

The 8 of Wands sent a lot of input my way. I sensed the desire to run away, but the inability to do so. Even the images on the cards lent something to that feeling: notice how all of the movement across the three main cards flows to the left. I noticed the dolphins trying to swim away from the other two cards - there is a quality of innocence there that has been turned on its head, been corrupted.

The Fool reversed as representative of Emmett's murderers seemed so sadly perfect. This is a card (and orientation) that speaks of ignorance, folly, and, in this case, a deeply dangerous recklessness. These were truly fools, acting out of a misplaced sense of anger and insult and hate. At least two grown men were involved in the apprehension, torture, and murder of a boy barely in his teens. It doesn't get much more senseless than that.

I call the 5 of Swords "the bully card." In the Mythic Tarot a figure brandishing five swords looms aggressively over what appears to be a young boy. That the menacing figure is an angel was not lost on me - most hate crimes stem from a sense of one party being "divinely righteous" and the other party being "less than." What happened to Emmett Till was certainly the most severe form of bullying, and what happened later in the courts was simply a continuation of that wicked mistreatment. Emmett's killers were tried by an all-white, male jury of peers (at this time in history African Americans and women were not permitted to serve jury duty), and after a deliberation that lasted barely longer than an hour, they were found to be innocent. Later they publicly admitted to the murder, and were even paid to share their story with the press. Bullies even to their own end.

Mythic Tarot
Juliet Sharman-Burke, Tricia Newell, Liz Greene

When I pulled the Star as the overarching message I had a split second of confusion, and then everything made sense. I spent a while feeling out which deck was "right" for this reading, and it took me some time to settle on the Mythic. I'm so glad I did. This version of the Star carries profoundly significant meaning for this particular topic. In this image Pandora has opened the chest that contains all the evils of the world. As they fly outward and past her on their way to plague the world, there is an angelic star shining in the background, assurance that no matter what ills befall the world, there is always hope, always a light to be found that will help guide us onward toward healing and clarity. Love has not abandoned us, even in the darkest hour of night. When I saw the Star, I saw hope for humankind. I saw Emmett Till's mother, who made a point of leaving his casket open so that the whole world would see what had been done to him. She couldn't tell people what had happened. It was an act so brutal that words were meaningless. And because she was brave enough to show the world her son's face, a deep wave of smoldering anger spread forth across every state, and there was no turning back from the fight for equality.

It was that fight that, ten years later and after many more sacrifices, brought about the Civil Rights Act, the Fair Housing Act, and the Voting Act - three major bills that changed the face of human relations in this country. All of that was for the good, but as I sit here on my couch watching these terrible news stories, and thinking about my son, I wonder if it will ever be enough. The Star is a beacon of hope that we're heading in the right direction. No matter how much hate we confront, no matter how many more battles there are to fight (and let me tell you, there are so very many!) the light of truth will never cease to shine.

In Martin Luther King's own words during his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech:

"Yet when years have rolled past and when the blazing light of truth is focused on this marvellous age in which we live - men and women will know and children will be taught that we have a finer land, a better people, a more noble civilization - because these humble children of God were willing to suffer for righteousness' sake."

I will believe in that - for me, for my son, for my husband and daughters, and for the world - and keep moving forward.

Taroscopes for April 2014

Ahhh, the warm breath of Spring washes over the northern parts of the country, slowly melting the snow and encouraging the flowers to bloom…. keep that image in your mind, it's been a long winter! This month I used the Mythic Tarot and the underlying influence for April is the lovely Empress - very fitting as the Northern Hemisphere begins to come alive once again following a difficult, long, icy cold-spell. Demeter is loosening up the soil for planting and bringing our creative energies to life!

Capricorn - Knight of Cups: This month expect to see progress as your creative and/or spiritual journey - already well underway - continues to develop. If you're starting relationship, or hoping to start one, April should be a very pleasant time!

Aquarius - Knight of Pentacles: You'll assume a comfortable financial pace this month. Don't expect swift movement, but all projects (whether educational or economic) should see some progress.

Pisces - Page of Swords: Be careful you don't blow yourself around in circles with questions-and-thoughts-and-concerns, because you'll get nowhere fast. Focus on one, or maybe two, ideas and work on grounding them in order to stabilize your momentum.

Aries - 8 of Wands: You'll see smooth sailing this month as things pick up the pace, so get ready! Some matters may come to an end while others take off rather quickly - you may even do some traveling. Over all things look quite positive for you!

Taurus - 4 of Wands: Transitions this month may bring feelings of instability, and you may have the sensation of being in cramped quarters. Just remember that any tension is only temporary, and try to go with the flow!

Gemini - 8 of Swords: You are your own worst critic, so don't worry about what other people say - focus on being kind to yourself, and pushing yourself forward. The first step is always the hardest, but you can do it!

Cancer - Ace of Swords: Clarity and focus will be your friends this month. You'll narrow things down to what really matters, and feel perfectly happy letting the rest go.

Leo - 4 of Pentacles: You may be cautious and careful this month, both financially and emotionally. Wise decision-making is important so take your time and make your plans according to what feels right to you. Just remember to use discretion when guarding your hand - don't shut out those who want to support you.

Virgo - 5 of Cups: If you're feeling down about something that has escaped your grasp, keep in mind that when one door closes, another opens. Love yourself, and know that there is still some good out there for you.

Libra - Star: You're shining brightly this month with an inner sparkle that inspires your own creativity as well as that of others. Share that light with the world, it'll do a lot of good!

Scorpio - Hierophant: If the status quo is getting you down you may find yourself looking for less traditional alternatives. You may have the desire to withdraw from "the scene" and refresh your goals and intentions.

Sagittarius - Sun: Happiness and success are shining brightly all around you this month - what an auspicious card! Harness every opportunity because you never know what fabulous people you'll meet, and to what fortunate places you'll be carried.

Happy April, everyone, enjoy the embrace of our great mother, the Empress!

Follow me on Facebook!

A Valentine's Self-Love Spread

My dear blogger friend Ellen brought this spread to my attention when she tried it out herself a couple of days ago (you can see her reading here). It was created by the Daily Tarot Girl (and you can find the original on her blog by clicking here!), and is a beautiful layout for improving self-awareness, in this case specifically in terms of self-love, and the relationship we have with ourselves.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and here I am working on my second post in two days (talk about coming back after a brief dry spell!). I had some time to sit down and work with this last night, choosing my Mythic Tarot for the occasion.

Card 1: Relationship to self (what is your relationship with yourself like?)
Card 2: Admirable qualities (parts of yourself that are easy to love)
Card 3: Disowned self (your shadow aspects, parts that need more love and acceptance)
Card 4: Release (judgements and expectations that you need to release in order to be more loving to yourself)
Card 5: More love (something loving and nurturing that you can do for yourself right now)

Mythic Tarot
Juliet Sharman-Burke, Tricia Newell, Liz Greene

Card 1: Relationship to self - 3 of Cups

Well, this is a beautiful card, not only for the meaning of love, celebration and friendship, but because of the image. It's interesting because this looks a lot like my family! I see myself standing on the stone with my husband next to me and my three children below, each holding a cup. And the truth is that they are really my center, and fill me up to the brim with love. But this card is about relationship to self, so how does it all fit? I love the implication that I enjoy myself, because I'd say that's pretty accurate. I have fun, I laugh at things that others may not, and I don't mind laughing alone (in fact sometimes I rather prefer it!!). I like myself pretty well, I suppose! It's the only nighttime card in this spread and it takes center stage. The ocean lies in the background with the moon shining bright above. I see connections to exploration of my intuitive and creative elements, which make up an important part of who I am. What I like about this image is that all of those things are present - my four loves, the Moon of mystery, inspiration, and dreamtime, the ocean of intuition and emotion...yet I haven't lost myself to any of it. They're all part of me, and I of them, and yet I'm still very much me.

Card 2: Admirable qualities - 4 of Swords

It's funny because I've really come to love this card, and I've posted recently about the lovely version from the Deviant Moon Tarot (P. Valenza). There is such a soothing, healing, quiet element to the 4 of Swords, a peace that I adore. I suppose it's true that I'm pretty even-keeled, and slow to react. I like how this lady sits in meditation in the desert with her swords laid out before her creating a circle form. There's a completeness of thought suggested here - she is working through her ideas and plans, and won't leave her spot until she's finished.  My step-dad was always "cool, calm and collected," even when angry, and I always appreciated that about him because it made it easier to communicate difficult things. I can see some of those same qualities in myself, so I hope that my family feels the same way about me. In terms of how I see myself, I do think that one of my stronger traits is that I think carefully about an issue before I give my opinion or take a stance, because I want to be sure of how I feel, and want to be as reasonable as possible in each situation, and I suppose I do value that about myself.

Card 3: Disowned self - 4 of Pentacles

Interesting that these two 4s mirror each other, north and south. The 4s in the minors, to me, are about retreat. While the 4 of Swords is about mental/intellectual retreat that also allows time for emotional healing, the 4 of Pentacles is about material retreat (in the case of budgeting, for instance), or even oftentimes about protection of our self-worth. We retreat in order to avoid hurting our self-esteem or vulnerability. In this way I definitely see the power of the 4 of Pentacles for myself. If you look at the card, you see a man holding tight to his pentacles while looking at another person toiling away. This immediately brings to mind how private I am, and how much I avoid sharing my thoughts and feelings with others. In fact this blog, and my involvement on Facebook forums, has been a great lesson and challenge for me because on some level I fear putting myself out into the world, and hearing nothing but the crickets chirping (though I've been pushing myself in this regard over the past month or two). This card is all about risk and reward. If fear keeps me from sharing with others, I'll be safe, but in certain areas I also won't grow, expand, make connections with others, or develop a deeper fortitude. My private-ness isn't entirely a "shadow" - I simply function that way. My mother and now my husband always push me to share my thoughts because I often don't realize how much I'm thinking, worrying, etc., within my own being… and once I realize that I'm doing that, I can share, and it's amazing how alleviating it can be. So on a larger scale, I do that with communities. I feel an affinity for the Hermit card for a reason. I think I'm often something of a closed book, and in some ways I enjoy that quite a bit. But in other ways I recognize that I need to risk "saying the wrong thing," "being misunderstood," "having no one pay you any mind" in order to be part of something bigger - a community that I often shy away from. In the process of developing this, however, I need to be kind to myself - not beat myself up about the ups and downs that are inherent in opening myself to others.

Card 4: Release - 8 of Wands reversed

Ugh, yes. This card makes want to yell at myself: "Sh*& takes time!! Relax!" When I have an idea or a project I am excited about, I want it to manifest RIGHT NOW. I do everything I can to make it happen, and can start to question myself if I don't see the quick progress that I hope for. There is a fundamental error in this behavior….because very few good things happen quickly. Most things that are worthwhile take time and paced energy to develop and grow before seeing the fruits (thinking of the 7 of Pentacles here). I recognize that by flitting from one idea to the next without ever fully developing any one thing is okay, but in the end doesn't provide the deep satisfaction of creating a "masterpiece." So I need to embrace the slow process, enjoy the journey, and take the pressure off myself to hurry hurry hurry.

Card 5: More love - Page of Wands

Oooo I love this card. I love how the boy is riding a goat (because I'm a Capricorn), and looks like he's about to leap right into the 3 of Cups to add a spark of fire to the calm, cool placidity of the night sea. The Page of Wands is the card that represents my role as a card reader, the messenger, the go-between, and I love seeing it here. In a sense I feel it's telling me to trust myself, to remember and trust that I'm good at what I do, and to enjoy the fact that the sun is still rising on my journey - there is so much more to explore, learn, develop and do. At the same time I see the sun setting, and yet the flame is bright, and I don't have be afraid of losing my way. The message is "have fun with this - don't take things so seriously…you're guiding and being guided, always." I'll carry this with me and meditate on it.

So I wanted to ask for some additional advice about how to work through that 4 of Pentacles, and so I pulled a card from my Medicine Cards and selected the Salmon:

Medicine Cards - Jamie Sams/David Carson

Salmon is about developing inner-wisdom through the understanding that we learn not just from the good experiences we have, but from the difficult and challenging ones as well (and perhaps even more). It's about balance - honoring my own intuition, but also hearing others' ideas and opinions. It's about seeing the value presented by hard times, rather than writing them off. Page 234 in the book says, "Salmon teaches you to see every bend in the river as a new adventure, with a lesson you need to learn in order to grow. That knowledge becomes authentic wisdom through applying these truths to your life." Inhale, exhale. Yes, that is beautiful advice that addresses the energy of the 4 of Pentacles with deep acuity. Risk-taking brings challenges but also the beauty of connection and even at times of affirmation. Each of these has worth, and offers a lesson I can integrate and grow from.

Visit First Earth Tarot's website!

The Beauty of the Spread

Twice in the last week I’ve laid out cards for a reading and just sat there marveling at the beauty before me. Not just the meanings, or the flow of energy, but the images themselves, how they relate to each other, the story I see in how they connect, in their positions. Last night was one of these moments. I was doing a reading for a friend (who gave permission for me to blog about it) because he recently found that the trip he’d wanted to take to visit his mother next month might not work out due to some sudden financial obstacles. He was really counting on this trip, and wanted to know if it would be possible to make it work after all.  I drew three cards and also considered the card at the bottom of the deck for additional influences. I inquired about the energies surrounding the possibility of the trip happening and pulled:

5 Pentacles – 8 Pentacles – Sun reversed (Moon was the bottom card)

I used my new/old Mythic Tarot (Juliet Sharman-Burke, Tricia Newell, Liz Greene) which was a huge pleasure for me!

Mythic Tarot
Juliet Sharman-Burke, Tricia Newell, Liz Greene

When I lay out three cards without positions, the center card is always the “theme” for me, and the flanking cards give me extra information about the surrounding issues.  So looking at this spread I noticed that while my friend is feeling the pain of these new problematic developments, there is a chance that he’ll be able to work something out in the end.

The 5 of Pentacles speaks of feeling isolated, or closed-off. In this case it held double meaning as my friend was very keenly experiencing the separation from his mother (who lives in a different country), coupled with the deep sense of responsibility to visit her and help provide support for her. At the same time it represents the financial obstacles that were getting in the way of his plans. Suddenly he felt the wealth being stripped from him and held at a distance.

The Sun reversed felt like muted hope – things were suddenly muddled and unclear, the joy at the potential trip sort of started to flicker like a flame in the wind. I sensed a deep dampening of his spirit due to this new obstacle- not simply a momentary annoyance, but something deeper; a longer-term frustration at not being able to fully find joy in a new country without his mother, but also being unable to provide the kind of support for her that he has so often desired.  So the 5 of Pentacles really connected to the Sun reversed, the lack of resources and isolation mirroring the lack of joy bordering on mild depression.

Meanwhile the Moon shone above, lighting the rest of the cards with uncertainty and confusion…. All except for the 8 of Pentacles in the middle.

I love how the 8 of Pentacles forms the heart of the spread. It says to me that my friend can make his desire come true through hard work, perhaps some small sacrifices, a lot of dedication, and long-term vision. The man in this card is entirely concentrated on the task before him – he is disregarding the confusion, uncertainty, fears, and material lack. He knows that he can manifest his own wealth through focus, patience, and foresight. In fact the very same man wandering through the night in tattered robes in the 5 of Pentacles is featured on the 8 of Pentacles, creating his own way ahead.

Visually I love how the center card, the 8 of Pentacles, shines out from within the triangle of tribulations: the Moon sits above, the Sun to the right, turned on its head, the 5 of Pentacles sits to the left. The Moon card is reflected in the sky in the 5 of Pentacles – the moon shines down its illusion upon the poor wandering fellow.  The Sun and Moon are two celestial cards, and the Moon also reflects the light of the Sun. So I see a lot of mirroring going on here, where the lack of resources influences the sense of let-down and depression, which reflects back upon itself in the Moon, enhancing and perpetuating the difficult cycle.

And yet, back to the center card, the sky is bright, the man appears entirely unbothered by worries –  perhaps inside he carries a sense of anxiety, but he knows that only through perseverance and hard work will he reach his goal, and he won’t be deterred from the work at hand.  I love that focused, earthy core.

To me this is part of the absolute beauty of Tarot.  The cards carry meaning, but the images and positions provide so many layers to the story, that can be woven together, intersected and overlapped to create an almost painfully lovely response to the seeker’s question.

(Update: it was difficult, it required a lot of attention and creativity, but he was in the end able to visit his mother in March 2014)

Trying Not to Choke on My Glee

Yesterday a deck arrived for me in the mail. It was probably one of the happiest moments I've had in quite a while, and I'm still feeling the glory. In past posts I've mentioned that my mother's Tarot reading was my initial connection to divination at a young age. Recently I acquired the Medicine Cards (Jamie Sams) which were another divination tool she owned and that I held very dear, which has been really nice to have in my hands again. Well her Tarot deck (she only ever had one until recently I gifted her two more!) is the Mythic Tarot (Juliet Sharman-Burke, Liz Greene, Tricia Newell), one of the early publications from the late-80s, early 90s. This was the deck that sort of birthed me into the concept of Tarot reading, and I used to love it when she'd pull her cards out and do readings, working her way through the Greek myths and tying stories together.

I've been wanting to add that deck to my collection for a while, but when the original version went out of print in the early 2000s, it became very expensive and thus fell out of my reach. A new edition, called the New Mythic Tarot (Juliet Sharman-Burke, Giovanni Caselli) was published with a redo of the original artwork, which seemed to earn a lot of disappointed complaints from lovers of the original Mythic Tarot who didn't see a need for the reworking. I wasn't entirely opposed to this new version, but it didn't really attract me either. If necessary, it would "do" but it wouldn't really be the same. So I never purchased it.

Mythic Tarot
Juliet Sharman-Burke, Tricia Newell, Liz Greene
Fireside, 1986

The other day on one of the Facebook Tarot forums, someone posted an announcement about the original Mythic available on eBay for an unbelievably low price (about the cost of three grande lattes at Starbucks), and I jumped all over it. I couldn't believe it. It was a new listing and no one had snatched it up yet! It was my first foray into eBay buying, and I did so with some anxiety, but I figured that the worst that would happen is I'd lose a few cups of coffee, which didn't seem like a major risk. When all was said and done I received a well-wrapped package in the mail yesterday containing a tattered original box, a complete set of cards in great condition, a hard-cover companion book (also in great condition) and a reading cloth (which I probably won't use, but still!).

I think words failed me, hence the title of this blog post. I knew I would be excited about this acquisition, I knew it was important to me to own my mother's deck, that it would be nurturing and comforting and "right." But I had no idea just how fulfilled and joyful I would feel to be able to flip through those images, read through the book, do my own first reading with it. I sent a text message to my mother letting her know what I'd managed to do, and her reply was "I am glad, and touched." I suppose she never thought much about how or why those cards would be so meaningful to me. Hey, I think that in the end, I didn't really realize it either!

So I am full of rapturous joy on the inside, though on the outside probably look very calm and a bit sleepy. This joy is like a feast.