Hanging In There

I have been totally exhausted lately; over the past week or two I've been so entrenched in work that I've had very little time to even think about much else. This weekend I've finally earned a solid three days off and I'm taking full advantage of them! Today, for the first time in years, I rode my bike.

By Karl Ramentol

As my husband and I were soaring down the road, inhaling the city-style outdoor aromas of road-side barbecue, Chinese take-out, grass clippings, and Eau de Exhaust Fumes, I just couldn't help but smile. What have I been missing!

Tomorrow I may well wake up with a sore rear end, but it was so worth it. And hey, maybe I'll even do it again ;-)

Lughnasadh Evening

With all the excitement over yesterday's Blue Moon, it's almost easy to forget that today is a very special harvest festival: Lughnasadh (also called Lammas). There are three major harvest celebrations on the Celtic calendar; Lughnasadh is the first, followed by Mabon in September, and Samhain in October. Fitting for this festival of "first fruits," my mother (who is visiting this weekend after having dropped off our eldest daughter from her northern vacation) brought a plastic baggie filled with three red tomatoes plucked from my son Gabriel's tomato plant. He had begun to grow it during his month-long stay with the grandparents earlier in the summer, and just in time for the first harvest, his plant bore him these fruits to share! So we ate them up at dinner last night, and appreciated the rich, sweet, acidic flavor they offered our salad.

I pulled a single card for Lughnasadh: What energy is coming to fruition in my life?

The Fool.

Stone Tarot/A. Stone

After my Blue Moon draw yesterday, the Fool made me smile. On the heels of a reading full of movement and manifestation, the Fool underscores the period of newness and release that is unfolding in my life. The Fool takes risks because she has utter faith that once she steps off that cliff, the universe will conspire to soften the blow of her landing. The leap, at once scary and exhilarating, is the first step of the adventure. It's an inviting and exciting energy to embrace.

We spent the day moving from shop to shop, and at one point stopped at a local metaphysical store where I wanted to pick up a new box of nag champa. As usual, I couldn't stay away from the abundant stone and crystal display, and ended up acquiring a beautiful piece of chiastolite, which I'd not heard of before. The piece I chose shows what appears to be a crossroads of black lines when set in an upright position. I didn't know at the time that this is a key feature of many chiastolite stones, but I was drawn to the symbol of the intersection of spiritual and mundane. Later I learned that this stone is helpful for staying positive while moving through big change, and it felt entirely appropriate both to my life, and to the Fool that I drew earlier in the day.

Chiastolite

It has been a very nice Lughnasadh. A light rain has been falling all afternoon and into the evening. The crickets are chirping, and the warm, earthy scent of incense hangs in the air. It's now time for a cup of oolong tea, and a good book, and the day is complete. Happy harvest!

The Fool: Embracing the Adventure

This morning I pulled the Fool card from my Navigators Tarot of the Mystic SEA. I am indeed on the verge of an adventure, of sorts. This is the last weekend before my three babes fly north with their grandma for their own big summertime adventure! I feel surprisingly at peace, and yet I've noticed a tightness in my neck and chest which suggests to me that I have some pent up emotion that needs expressing.

Navigators Tarot of the Mystic SEA
J. Turk

This Fool card is full of color and movement. Below floats the Earth, while the Fool seems to surf through the universe on strands of golden DNA, surrounded by a hawk, orca, and even a little dog riding a green rocking horse that features the symbol for Pluto! Quite an interesting assortment of symbols. Pluto is a powerful symbol of transformation and rebirth, which has been a common theme for me of late. This Fool is engaging newness in the most artful way possible: going with the flow. And he suggests that I do the same. Pluto doesn't care much whether you want, or are ready for, big changes to take place. They're coming, and it's time for them to manifest, so you have a choice: resist and experience the fear and burden of avoiding the unavoidable, or release the handrails and let the current take you where you're meant to go. I've been happily surprised with the way I've been able to embrace the coming adventure over the past month or so. I've come to a place of peace and even happiness. Now that I'm on the doorstep of the Big Day, I do feel some anxiety and sadness bubbling up to the surface. The Fool invites me to let those feelings flow through my body and out into the universe. The purple face in the upper left corner of the card tells me to "breathe." And so I will.

Emmett Till and the Star: Coming to Terms with Racism in the U.S.A.

My son is one of the three greatest lights of my life. His innocent devilry, his spontaneous dances, his tender embraces, they are precious beyond what words can express. As most parents do, I wish for his safety in a world full of so many ills: violence, hate, ignorance, bitterness, racism and war. My son is mixed, but most of the world will see him as black. I know at some point he will brave that big, wide world, and probably will unwittingly come face to face with some of those ills. And I also know that as a black male, the beauty of his character, the joy in his heart, and the purity of his intentions will often come second to the color of his skin. It hurts to know this, and it's something I think about every day.

I live in Seminole County, Florida, the location of that terrible incident in which Trayvon Martin, an unarmed teenager, was murdered by the "neighborhood watch" while walking home from a convenience store where he'd just bought some candy. He was pursued because of his appearance, and when he was hassled, he did what most teenage boys would do - he gave attitude right back. And he died for it.

Trayvon Martin Rally

Two years ago a black teenage boy, Jordan Davis, was shot to death by a middle-aged white man at a gas station in Jacksonville, Florida because the kid was playing his "rap-crap music too loud." The shooter said that after confronting the teen and his friends in their car, he felt threatened by them, and decided to "take matters into his own hands." A gun was never found in the kids' car.

Just a few weeks ago Michael Brown, yet another unarmed, black teenage boy, was shot and killed by a police officer in Missouri after he was stopped for allegedly walking in the street at midday. The nation cried out in anger at the injustice. There were vigils, and marches, and the National Guard was called in. People wanted answers, and none of the answers being given were satisfactory.

The reality is that there is a deep-seated fear running rampant in this country: a fear of black men. Why? They might steal? They might be aggressive? They might have a gun? They might be gang members? They might be drug dealers? I want to fault the media for some of this, but it's not just the media - it's a far larger, deeper, more subtle and destructive sickness. We've come far since the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s, but not quite far enough.

Emmett Till

So I was sitting on my couch this afternoon, and I started thinking about Emmett Till, the 14-year-old boy (do I have to say "unarmed" again?) who was mutilated, shot, and sunk in a river in Mississippi in August of 1955 for the crime of allegedly whistling at a white woman. 1955. My mother was 3 years old. Segregation was still alive and well, the post-Civil War Jim Crow Laws still very much in effect. In 1955 anger and outrage was spreading across the country, and the Emmett Till murder was one of the great catalysts for the difficult, and at times deadly, work that followed in the fight for equality in the '60s.

I started thinking about that terrible tragedy, and about all the terrible tragedies that have occurred over the years and of late. I thought of how much I love, and fear for, my son, and how much hope I have that by the time he's 17 or 18 years old the world is at least a fraction kinder than what it is today. I decided to read on this issue.

I pulled four cards: one for Emmett, one for his murderers, and one for the energy of the environment at the time of his death. I pulled a final card to better understand the overarching impact of what happened to him.

Card 1: Emmett - 8 of Wands reversed
Card 2: His murderers - Fool reversed
Card 3: Energy at the time of death - 5 of Swords
Card 4: Overarching message: Star

Mythic Tarot
Juliet Sharman-Burke, Liz Greene, Tricia Newell

The 8 of Wands sent a lot of input my way. I sensed the desire to run away, but the inability to do so. Even the images on the cards lent something to that feeling: notice how all of the movement across the three main cards flows to the left. I noticed the dolphins trying to swim away from the other two cards - there is a quality of innocence there that has been turned on its head, been corrupted.

The Fool reversed as representative of Emmett's murderers seemed so sadly perfect. This is a card (and orientation) that speaks of ignorance, folly, and, in this case, a deeply dangerous recklessness. These were truly fools, acting out of a misplaced sense of anger and insult and hate. At least two grown men were involved in the apprehension, torture, and murder of a boy barely in his teens. It doesn't get much more senseless than that.

I call the 5 of Swords "the bully card." In the Mythic Tarot a figure brandishing five swords looms aggressively over what appears to be a young boy. That the menacing figure is an angel was not lost on me - most hate crimes stem from a sense of one party being "divinely righteous" and the other party being "less than." What happened to Emmett Till was certainly the most severe form of bullying, and what happened later in the courts was simply a continuation of that wicked mistreatment. Emmett's killers were tried by an all-white, male jury of peers (at this time in history African Americans and women were not permitted to serve jury duty), and after a deliberation that lasted barely longer than an hour, they were found to be innocent. Later they publicly admitted to the murder, and were even paid to share their story with the press. Bullies even to their own end.

Mythic Tarot
Juliet Sharman-Burke, Tricia Newell, Liz Greene

When I pulled the Star as the overarching message I had a split second of confusion, and then everything made sense. I spent a while feeling out which deck was "right" for this reading, and it took me some time to settle on the Mythic. I'm so glad I did. This version of the Star carries profoundly significant meaning for this particular topic. In this image Pandora has opened the chest that contains all the evils of the world. As they fly outward and past her on their way to plague the world, there is an angelic star shining in the background, assurance that no matter what ills befall the world, there is always hope, always a light to be found that will help guide us onward toward healing and clarity. Love has not abandoned us, even in the darkest hour of night. When I saw the Star, I saw hope for humankind. I saw Emmett Till's mother, who made a point of leaving his casket open so that the whole world would see what had been done to him. She couldn't tell people what had happened. It was an act so brutal that words were meaningless. And because she was brave enough to show the world her son's face, a deep wave of smoldering anger spread forth across every state, and there was no turning back from the fight for equality.

It was that fight that, ten years later and after many more sacrifices, brought about the Civil Rights Act, the Fair Housing Act, and the Voting Act - three major bills that changed the face of human relations in this country. All of that was for the good, but as I sit here on my couch watching these terrible news stories, and thinking about my son, I wonder if it will ever be enough. The Star is a beacon of hope that we're heading in the right direction. No matter how much hate we confront, no matter how many more battles there are to fight (and let me tell you, there are so very many!) the light of truth will never cease to shine.

In Martin Luther King's own words during his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech:

"Yet when years have rolled past and when the blazing light of truth is focused on this marvellous age in which we live - men and women will know and children will be taught that we have a finer land, a better people, a more noble civilization - because these humble children of God were willing to suffer for righteousness' sake."

I will believe in that - for me, for my son, for my husband and daughters, and for the world - and keep moving forward.

Samhain: A Spread for the New Year

I know it's a little  bit early to do my New Year spread for Samhain, seeing as the 31st is still about five days away, but I have family coming to visit for a whole week, and who knows how much time I'll find !  So I decided to do it today, a lovely Saturday night.  The littlest kid is in bed, the older kids are on their way there, and Jorge is outside taking pictures of the moon.  A rare quiet moment!

I've settled down here with my cup of tea to type out the reading I did about an hour ago.  I wasn't sure which spread I wanted to use, and *almost* created my own…but I wasn't feeling quite that inspired.  So I found one on a great website, Furious Horde, called "Hallows: A Samhain Spread." The site also offers an Ancestor Spread as a companion to this one, however I'll save that for another moment! I've slightly altered the Samhain spread to add a couple of extra cards, but it goes something like this:

                   1

            2     3     4

      5        6     7      8

                9    10

1: The Moon - Major influences accompanying you into the New Year

2: The Path - A glimpse into the very near future 

3: The Lantern - What is currently engaging your attention and drawing you forward

4: The Mask - What illusions you are maintaining for yourself or others (could be for positive reasons)

5: The Bones - A reflection of ancestry, family, culture, heritage, etc. What relics do you keep as symbols, and what purpose do they serve?

6: The Bonfire - What needs to be cleansed and offered to the fire in order to move into the New Year?

7: The Veil - What is being revealed about your deep self?

8: The Ancient Ones - Guidance offered from Spirit/Guides/Ancestors.

9: Bottom card of the deck - Additional influences

10: Top card of the deck - Additional influences

I used my Wildwood Tarot deck (Mark Ryan, John Matthews, Will Worthington; Sterling Ethos 2011). With the addition of the two extra cards, the shape is rather like an arrow head!

                                 

Card 1, the Moon: 5 of Bows ("Empowerment").  I do believe that I've been in the process of "finding my power" for a while now.  I feel empowered by having reconnected this year (after 6 or 7 years) with what feels like my purpose in many ways, or at least involves nurturing the gifts I came to this life with (specifically spirit-related things). It has presented a series of "challenges" that I've been diving head-first into, and ultimately enjoying and learning a lot from.  The energy created from all of this has been propelling me forward.

Card 2, the Path: 9 of Bows ("Respect"). The Woodwose sits front and center on this card, asking me if I have what it takes to battle onwards.  Only time will tell (this is, after all, the "near future" card) but I already know that I do.  Challenges are not for the weak-hearted or weak-minded.  In order to progress, you must demonstrate the ability to trust in the path, even when you can't see very far ahead, and to respect the experiences you have, and the guides that teach you (in whatever form they may take). I must respect myself, and in turn give respect to others.  I think this card is also about not letting myself feel "walked on" by situations or by people.  If you pack up and go home at the first sign of struggle, you aren't ready for the journey.

Card 3, the Lantern: Ace of Bows ("Spark of Life"). A door has opened before me, and I've been drawn over the threshold.  Bows represent creativity and energy, and in a lot of ways I feel like I'm dealing with harnessing my own energy, and considering the potential that's available when I learn to focus and direct it.  Last week I had a dream that I was full of energy, but I needed to learn how to manipulate it so that it could be used for healing.  I do feel rather like a baby, so the Ace is fitting.  I'm just becoming aware of how much energy I have at my disposal, and how to work with it…which is a whole new path that is leading me on.

Card 4, the Mask: 4 of Stones ("Protection").  This is an interesting card to appear.  It took me some time to ponder it, but when I started focusing more intently on the details of the images in the card, things started to click into place.  I thought of how much I don't voice my thoughts and feelings - in a sense the fawn represents my inner workings, while everyone else just sees the stony exterior. Jorge always asks me what I'm thinking because I often don't realize how much I don't share with others. Is it a form of protection?  It could be sometimes, when I don't want to upset others with my own concerns or worries, or because I think that by managing my concerns on my own they'll somehow be easier to deal with than if I include someone else. And that definitely qualifies as a mask.  In fact that is something that my Mom used to always do.  She'd say "If I don't ask, I'd never know what's really going on inside you!"  Really I'm often unaware of how much I ponder in silence. So I am making an effort to be more conscious of this tendency.    

Card 5, the Bones: The World Tree. Hm. Another interesting card to appear.  Yggdrasil, the World Tree, has been a recurring theme this past year.  And does it get any more ancestral than that??  Several months ago I had a dream: there was an impending sense of doom, like the world was ending. Everyone was taking cover, and rather anxious. As people were leaving the town center, I was walking toward it, and I ended up face-to-trunk with a great, pale tree.  I sensed it was very old, and dying. I knew I had to knock on the trunk, though when I did so, the world might end.  But I had to knock, and so I did.  When I knocked on the trunk, it was simply like the sun rising. Nothing ended, nothing died. The tree was simply reborn.  For the rest of the night the name "Yggdrasil" wove its way through my mind. Yggdrasil is a common place for shamans to visit, no matter the culture, though the term is specifically from Norse mythology.  That brings in another important element. A significant part of my ancestry is from German and Nordic Europe, though I'd never really felt connected to that part of my family history.  In fact having been raised around the native American community, American indigenous culture was probably most important to me growing up. But I had another dream several weeks after the Yggdrasil dream: I was sitting (at night) at a gathering, wondering who I might connect with, or if anyone would like me.  Then I saw a guy, blonde, kind of Vikingy, with a necklace. I held the necklace in my hand, and it was very native American, beaded in various colors, almost in a sharp horseshoe shape. As I went to the guy it changed to metal/chain, but in the same form.  I felt very connected to this, like I was remembering part of my identity.  I felt the fierceness of a warrior, and knew that I would be the person running toward the battle rather than away from it.  As a woman.  I felt the connection to the norse/Viking people, my ancestry.  I thought that it's interesting how the native bead necklace, also representing a big part of who I am, turned into the metal necklace.  Like it was showing a connection, transmutation.  It felt very right. So again this Nordic connection popped up in my dream, and this time there was a flow from one spiritual tradition (not ancestral) to another (that is ancestral). I read a bit about Odin, and felt very connected to that grandfather, wanderer, shaman, warrior combination. Odin also hung from Yggdrasil for 9 days, a sacrifice in order to receive the wisdom of the runes. So there is some great circle involved in this series of stories and events. Another aspect that relates to this card and position is my mother, who is clairvoyant and intuitive, and a counselor by trade. It was she that introduced me to Tarot at a young age. The maze on the card leads to the heart of the World Tree. There is something related to a spiritual heritage involved here. As a final note, this is a card that came up for me as I was doing a reading about my potential with mediumship, which also seems to relate to the Ace of Bows, for me.

Card 6, the Bonfire: 5 of Arrows reversed ("Frustration"). I use reversals with this deck, though in the context of this spread the only two reversals (this being one of them) don't differ greatly from their upright meaning.  First of all, I'm a Capricorn, which is symbolized by the goat, so right away I see myself flying down a hill against a wave of arrows whipping my way. On one hand I feel this card is calling me to release my frustrations, many of which are mental.  Attitude is everything, right? What purpose does internalizing frustrations serve?  It serves none, other than to eat away at me, creating sleepless nights, and stressful days. That is certainly worth doing away with.  This card also relates back to the 5 of Bows (Empowerment). I can't please everyone, so I shouldn't try. I don't always need to be the peacemaker (related to the 4 of Stones).  And if I'm grounded, determined, balanced and focused, the arrows coming my way will somehow miss their mark.  

Card 7, the Veil: the Blasted Oak reversed. The second of the two reversals in this spread. The position of the card indicates that this reversal refers to my inner workings. I'm experiencing "big change" on an interior level.  I've had the burst of insight (the lightening bolt) which has brought me a whole new world of possibility that I'd never considered before, or explored. There's a certain freedom in that, like being reborn, in a way. The traditional RWS card features a crown which relates to the crown chakra. Mine has been open and tingling with activity for a while now, which relates to the Ace of Bows. The insights themselves have been spiritual in nature. This year I've delved back into working with the cards, experienced the awakening of my 6th and 7th chakras, developed my clairsentience to the point of being able to begin exploring psychic readings (without the use of cards), and have begun to experience mediumship, which has been really cool, interesting, eye-opening, humbling, and sort of exciting, in a muted sort of way. Who knew?

Card 8, the Ancient Ones: Knight of Arrows ("Hawk"). In the Wildwood, this Knight is represented by the Hawk.  The Hawk card in the Druid Animal Oracle (Philip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm, Will Worthington; Fireside 1994) has made repeat appearances for me all summer long, and now into the fall, so it was interesting to see it show up here and in this form. The Hawk is about seeing the big picture.  In the Druid Animal Oracle book, it says that the Hawk has the "ability to see life in perspective, free yourself from unnecessary baggage, connect to ancestral roots….Once you know where you've come from and where you're going, your life will be filled with inspiration and enthusiasm. You will sense a new day dawning and will be able to make decisions with confidence (pg 42-43)."  It also mentions, "Ancestral wisdom lives deep in our psyches (pg 44)." So to me it speaks of a new beginning whose roots go much further back than the present, which fits so well with everything I've been experiencing this past year. Another interesting bit of information about the Hawk is that they were used by Druids to explore the spirit world.  Why is the Hawk a Knight? Apparently in Arthurian legend, Gawain's name means "Hawk of May" and Galahad's name means "Hawk of Summer." The Druid Animal Oracle book states that "because of its ability to soar high in the air, the hawk is considered a solar bird and therefore provides a fitting name for these knights who typify the best qualities of courtliness and nobility - they are male solar heroes in quest of the feminine grail (pg 44)." So journeys and quests, perspective on the breadth of one's life/lives, the spirit-world, letting go of what wasn't working, new beginnings, connecting to my ancestral roots…yes. It makes sense and forms another beautiful circle of meaning. 

Card 9, Bottom of the deck: 4 of Bows ("Celebration"). Contentment, balance, and most importantly the idea of "coming home" which has significance for me both in the past year, and in this spread.

Card 10, Top of the deck: the Wanderer. This card pretty much speaks for itself. I'm embarking on a new journey….well, it feels new, and yet in some way it's ancient. And in that way it relates closely to the Blasted Oak, the Ace of Bows, and the Knight of Arrows. 

Whew!!!  If you're still reading, you have earned a special place in my heart! That was quite a post. I would conclude with a numerological analysis of the spread….but I'm not sure I'm up for that much additional typing!  So it was a great spread, and I'm so happy to have found it.  It's given me a lot of food for thought, and I'll be coming back to it frequently during the week (and possibly months) ahead as I continue to ponder it.  I hope you haven't fallen asleep yet, though I wouldn't blame you if you did, as it's quite late, and definitely past my own bedtime. So off I go, sweet dreams, and Happy Halloween!

Click here to follow First Earth Tarot on Facebook!