Embracing Light: Summer Solstice

Happy Summer Solstice to everyone, everywhere! Today is the longest day of the year, and marks both the sun's longest ride through the sky, and the point at which our light begins to lessen each day until we reach Yule. Today is an excellent day to simply be aware of the sunlight. If it's cloudy where you are, how does the brightness of the sky lighten or darken depending on the thickness of the clouds? If it is a sunny day, how do the rays of sunlight enhance or illuminate the greenness of plant leaves, or the color of flowers in bloom?

This morning I pulled a card from my Viking Cards deck asking:

"How can I bring more light into my life?"

I pulled: The Hearth - Care.

Viking Cards/G. Bergmann

This card represents both caring for other people in your life, and self-care. Interestingly, I've pulled the Empress several times over the past couple of weeks, and I always hear her saying to me, "Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Eat well. Nurture yourself." And I have been trying to follow her advice (and more or less succeeding!).

I've been alone for a couple of weeks. My kids are on a long visit with their grandparents, and my husband is working in Sweden for a while. I had a similar experience last summer, and it was the first time I'd ever been completely alone in so many years that I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know how to organize my time, I didn't eat very much, and when I did eat it was quite often frozen veggie burgers and carrot sticks (I didn't see the point in cooking when I didn't have a family to cook for!). It took a while to gain some semblance of balance in my life, and then everyone was back, and things fell back into the normal family rhythms.

Chinese Tarot/US Games Systems

This time has been a bit different. I cook for myself - complete, hot meals, with lots of flavor and lots of earthy goodness (Swiss chard has been a mainstay of late). After the first few aimless days of watching Netflix non-stop I finally turned off the television in disgust and started reading, gardening, writing, thinking, and even baking (though it's hard to finish an entire pan of brownies on one's own!). So in many ways I have worked out the kinks of being alone, and taking care of myself just as much as I would care for one of my children. This is good!

But there is something deeper to the Hearth that has come slowly unfurling from the deep dark and into the light: it's not just about how much I miss loving and caring for my family, or how successful I've been at being good to myself - it's about taking the time to honor what I want and need.

What I want and need. These are things that in the daily grind tend to get lost or muddled. I spend so much time in busy-ness, yes, cooking and planning meals, worrying about the grass being too long, wondering about what the electric bill will look like after this massive heat wave, taking my children to the park, figuring out the next grocery list, teaching, doing readings, fitting in time for walks with my husband, and on and on and on. Most of these things are positive (worrying about bills and lawn, maybe not so much!) but what happens is that the constant movement shifts my focus away from "me" and on to the vast variety of other things in my life. The result is that I don't have a chance to honor my own needs. And I need to, because it is essential for not only my own well-being, but the well-being of my crew.

I've come to some important realizations during this time that I've been alone. I have begun to recognize with tremendous force the things that I want to change, and what I want, what I really want for myself and ultimately for my family. For a long time I've known what I don't like (about my job, or my house, or my physical environment) but I haven't really been able to identify what it is that I do want. When I start to feel frustrated with my workplace, I immediately counter it with: "But... I have a lot of flexibility, and a good income, and a lot of creative license, and access to amazing technology.....I wouldn't get this anywhere else, I need to just focus on that." Well, that's not bad, to focus on the upside of things. But after a while, it starts to shift from being optimistic to simply not honoring the messages that my heart and soul are trying to get me to pay attention to.

Swedish forest/J. Destrades

What do I really want?

This morning my husband sent me a dozen photos of a farmhouse where he's spent the last few days. Deep green forests, the sun rising over a lake, children playing freely outside, a dirt path forking off in different directions. As I reviewed the photos a deep, visceral desire surged forth from my belly, and all I wanted in that moment was to shed this skin and live in that place. To stop living according to what limitations I perceive, and to reach out and pull myself into a new, fresh landscape of life. To release every aspect of my current environment that is not nourishing me, that I'm not satisfied with, and to free myself to be who and what I am; to give that gift to my children. To experience that with my husband. For months I have been pulling the 8 of Cups, Judgment and Death, and I see these cards as a reflection of what was already developing under the surface of my psyche before I could even place a finger on it; that helped me to slowly become more aware of the changes brewing within, and the rebirth that is taking place.

Field of flowers in Sweden/J. Destrades

I asked the cards to highlight the way in which I can bring more light into my life, and they responded loudly, and very clearly. Take care of yourself. Take care of those you love by being true to your desires and your needs.

My Solstice task for today is to sit down with a notepad and a pen and make a list of everything I know that I don't want any longer, and to make a list of everything that I know that I do want.

After all, the first step to manifestation is to have a clear, concrete, focused intention!

May the light of the sun illuminate your soul on this longest day of the year!

Tarot Blog Hop: The Magician

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Welcome to the Summer Solstice Blog Hop! Please use the links at the top or bottom of this post to navigate to the other blogs in this circle!

For this Solstice Hop our wrangler, Alison Cross, asked us to choose a card from the Major Arcana and discuss any aspect about it that calls to us, and then, if we like, to put any sort of creative twist on it (a drawing, a poem, a spread, a story, a recipe). I chose to discuss the special gift that the Magician offers, and at the end of this post I've laid out a simple spread that highlights its energy.

This Major Arcana card, as all do, covers a wide range of possible elements. There is the Magician as a manipulator, or trickster, or in a more positive light as a person who has the ability to make desires reality ("you have all the tools you need!"). There is the Magician as the doctor or shaman, the teacher and student, and the diplomat. The Magician is known to have the ability to unite all elements of his/her environment through Will.

New Orleans Voodoo Tarot
Destiny Books

If we distill the essence of the Magician into a concentrated offering, it is: manifestation through absolute self-confidence and focused intention. This is not about crossing your fingers and hoping for the best; rather it's knowing that you will accomplish what you set out to do, and it is the ultimate realization of that desire.

In magical traditions, doubts can be damaging to the efficacy of the work being performed, and it is often not even enough to simply hope that a working will be effective. You carefully select your resources and materials, you create a space conducive to concentration and communion, and you know that your work has reached gentle, energetic fingers out into the universe to help to influence your goal.

World Spirit Tarot
Llewellyn Publications

In the book A Practical Guide to the Runes (1989), Lisa Peschel writes:

Why does magick work? It works because you believe it works. It doesn't just happen, however. You must make it happen. The way you make it happen is through belief and understanding. You must have belief in yourself and in the operation, and you must understand the operation thoroughly. 

Aleister Crowley wrote in Magick in Theory & Practice: "Magick is the Science and Art of causing Change to occur in conformity with Will," and anyone who has ever performed magick of any kind can attest to the truth of that statement. Magick is not "supernatural." It is a well-thought-out and self-willed scientific exercise in which the results are known before they actually happen. 

You will find your magick becoming more effective as your understanding and confidence grows...

(pg. 130-131)

Even if you do not practice a magical art or tradition, the energy of the Magician can be channeled into any area of your life, into any situation that would benefit from unwavering self-confidence, focused intention, and personal empowerment. To this end I've created the:

Magical Roadmap Spread

1) Point A: Major circumstance or issue in my life
2) Point B: My goal for this circumstance
3) Magician: How I can best focus my resources and Will to manifest my goal

May your inner Mage always be with you!

Happy Summer Solstice, and Happy Hopping!

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Litha Blog Hop Master List

Welcome to the 2014 Litha Blog Hop Master List! For access to the complete circle of wonderful bloggers, please see the list below!

1.Tierney Sadler: http://www.tierneysadler.com/2014/06/62114choosing-joy-and-love.html

2. Christiana Gaudet: http://tarottrends.com/content/joyful-summer-solstice

3. Chloe for TABI:  http://tabitarot.blogspot.com/2014/06/the-joys-of-sun.html

4. Louise Underhill: http://www.priestesstarot.co.uk/2014/06/tarot-blog-hop-joy-litha/

5. Ania M.: http://aniam.co.uk/blog/OBJ

6. Bridgett Trejo: http://blessedpagan.blogspot.com/2014/06/summer-solstice-2014-joy-with-tater.html

7. Arwen Lynch: http://tarotbyarwen.com/?p=17779

8. Karen Sealey: http://pureblessedtarot.wordpress.com/2014/06/21/joy-got-outta-the-closet/

9. Chloe McCracken: http://innerwhisperscouk.blogspot.com/2014/06/happy-happy-joy-joy.html

10. Cassandra Santori: http://www.quickcardreading.com/?p=1587

11. Joanna Ash: http://sungoddesstarot.blogspot.com/2014/06/Celebrate-Joy-This-Summer-Solstice.html

12. Stella T'arot: http://www.usgamesinc.com/tarotblog/tarotbloghop-solstice-2014/

13. Joanne Sprott: http://cosmicwhisperstarot.com/2014/06/21/when-is-joy-litha-tarot-blog-hop/

14. Stacey Carroll: http://thetarotoraclewitch.blogspot.com/2014/06/tbh-june.html

15.Olivia Destrades: http://firstearthtarot.blogspot.com/2014/06/litha-blog-hop-joy-and-shadows.html

16. Alison Cross: http://tarot-thrones.blogspot.com/2014/06/blog-hop-midsummer-16-things-that-bring.html

17. Chloe for Celtic Lenormand: http://www.celticlenormand.com/2014/06/joy-in-life-and-in-cards.html

18. Robin B. Wood: http://thequartzcafe.blogspot.com/2014/06/joy-to-world-finding-joy-in-little.html

19. Vickie Wilson: http://eternalathena.com/2014/06/20/litha-2014-blog-hop-5-questions-everyday-joy/

20. Ethony Dawn: http://ethony.com/litha-tarot-blog-hop-joy/

21. Joy Vernon:  http://joyvernon.com/Blog/joy/

Litha Blog Hop: Joy and Shadows

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It's somehow ironic that, being the wrangler for this particular hop (which entails choosing the theme), I would experience writer's block, but that's just what happened between Beltane and Litha. I knew I wanted the focus to be "joy" because we spend so much time focused on what we can improve, or what needs tweaking, and not nearly enough time really basking in the glory of the joy that threads through our lives (at least that's how it often seems!). I'm a joy-person (not THE Joy Person - that's Arwen Lynch Poe!) and this is Litha, The Sun Celebration, so it all seemed very fitting!

New Orleans Voodoo Tarot
The divine light and joy within us!

So writer's block had me down, and then I found myself at the public library one evening with the three Joys of my life - my children!  As the little ones were climbing and arguing their way through the aisles with me, I happened across the Tarot for Life book by Paul Quinn, which I'd never seen before - neither at the library nor any other place that sells or rents books - (and after looking at its positive reviews on Amazon I realize I'm a late-comer to that game, and that it's completely crazy that I'm so in-the-dark) so I snatched it off the shelf. After settling the kids in the children's section with books and blocks and crayons, I myself settled down to give the book a cursory sifting. It took about 1.3 seconds for me to realize I'd found a wonderful source of Tarot wisdom, and one of the aspects of the book that most attracted me was that it covered the "shadow" aspect of cards in addition to the upright and reversed meanings. It's actually brilliant, and it resonated with my own reading experience quite potently. I've written before about cards in readings, where their upright orientation belies their true essence, and though I hadn't given it a title before, "shadow" aspects were indeed what I was encountering.

Llewellyn Publications

I happened to flip to the entry for the Sun card, and suddenly bells began to go off in my head - the shadow of the Sun! This was something I'd pondered for probably close to a year, after having calculated my Tarot birth card. I'd found that my personality card was the Wheel, my soul card was the Magician, and my Shadow card was nothing other than…the Sun! The first two made complete sense to me, but the Sun as my Shadow? I read and read and researched and thought and analyzed and considered, and nothing seemed to click in terms of what the Sun as my Shadow really meant for me.

Did it mean that joy or success were difficult for me to achieve, or that I'd spend my life always working on improving those things? Not really…..

Was it that my natural happiness wasn't accepted by my community (per Jung) leading me to try to diminish my own capacity for joy? No….

As I was flipping the pages of Tarot for Life things started to fall into place, like pieces of a puzzle. I've always been drawn to happiness like a moth to a flame, in order (perhaps) to create an environment that reflected my inner world. As a result I stayed as far from sadness as I could manage. This wasn't a conscious decision, but a visceral reaction.

I remember that I never liked melancholy music. One important memory I have from childhood is that my older sister would request that my mom sing her the song "Clementine" before she would go to bed. I hated it. I would plug my ears and bury my head in the pillow in order to avoid hearing it. I thought it was such a sad song (a miner lost his daughter when she fell into the sea and drowned!!), and I hated feeling sad. As I grew up that never really changed. I always preferred happy, vibrant music (for the most part - incidentally I've always been a big Blues fan!), I avoided any movies that highlighted pain and suffering (for the most part! - I did actually choose to watch Schindler's List because the Holocaust is something we should never forget). Sorrow was an extremely difficult emotion for me to process.

Zingdoodle Lenormand by Rootweaver

Don't get me wrong, I don't - and didn't - see the world through rose-colored glasses, nor did I shy away from difficult truths, or the bittersweetness that sometimes comes from living. Looking back it occurs to me that much of that connects with being empathic, and not knowing how not to absorb others' emotions as my own.  It makes sense then that I would have cringed at hearing Clementine - I was brought into the story, and felt the miner's pain, and the terrible sorrow of death (as funny as that may sound, as it's a children's song!). I've always felt a brilliant, joyful light shining from within me, and I wanted to just glow all the time, the full expression of my soul. And since life isn't happiness and light all of the time, my Shadow has truly been learning to face the pain and darkness that shows up from time to time along the way, and coming to understand through experience that while I still prefer being surrounded in positivity (who doesn't?), those painful times in fact provide valuable opportunities to grow, to understand myself (and others) better, and to become, ultimately, a more balanced human being. Additionally, as an empath a vital lesson is also to learn how to be supportive of others while learning how not to internalize their pain.

Ochun - Joy and Love
Image by Black Oshun Eternal

So what better time for this light of understanding to hit me than three days prior to the Litha Blog Hop, a time of Sun and Joy, a day of celebrating our fires before the gradual descent into the elongating shadows of Autumn….

To conclude, I want to bring this post back to the simple topic, so I will include a list of what brings me great joy:

-My children (as previously mentioned)
-My husband (I couldn't ask for a more supportive partner)
-Divination (as an extension of my sense of purpose and Will)
-My Joy (because it's simply joyful feeling an abundance of joy, and I'm grateful for it)
-My spiritual practices (with all the surprises, challenges, and stunning, awe-filled moments)

Go forth and be joyful, and build your Litha fires brightly!

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Drawing the World

It's been a long time since I've posted a daily draw, but today felt like a good day for it. It's Memorial Day and everyone's home (no work, no school). The sun is shining and it's gearing up to be a fairly hot and humid day, perfect for watching the little ones throw themselves down the long length of slip-n-slide in the back yard later. Our second radish was pulled from the ground yesterday by Isabella, and ended up in our dinner salad (what a lovely flavor!). The tomato plants are beginning to show some small blossoms, promising fruit to come soon. I mowed part of the lawn yesterday, but Jorge and I agreed to leave a patch of wildflowers along the back fence for the bees.

So with all this nurturing earth energy on my mind, it was so fitting to have drawn XXI Gaia the World, from the Gaian Tarot by Joanna Powell Colbert! She's layered many symbols in this card: Tibetan prayer flags, cleansing herbs, the butterfly, four creatures representing the four elements and directions (traditionally this depicts the four fixed astrological signs). And there is the Earth being embraced by the goddess Gaia at the heart of it all.

A card of completion, coming full circle, synthesis and integration, this card calls me to ponder what cycles in my life are reaching this stage at this moment….

This morning my youngest daughter was considering what she wanted to have for breakfast when she suddenly squealed, "It's the first day of the last week of school!!" She and my older daughter have just two short days of school left before officially beginning summer vacation, and they're so excited. My older daughter, Isabella, is finishing middle school and will be heading off to high school in just a few months. Talk about transition! It seems like yesterday that she was exhilarated to be a new sixth grader, feeling the prestige of a new label of "middle schooler," and suddenly that chapter is closing and a new, important one is on the cusp of being born. My younger daughter has had a great year in first grade, and has really adored her teacher, Ms. S. I thought it would be bittersweet for her as she brought home all of her tools and notebooks after clearing out her desk, but she's excited to be moving up to second grade. She loves school, and can't wait to see what's next.

Thus our house-cycle is coming to a close, as well. Most parents will agree that the true "New Year" is when the school year comes to an end. That's when things really change! The kids are at home every day (or at camp), so in important ways the subtle rhythms of life alter. In a few weeks' time we'll be driving our kids to their grandparents' house several states away, dropping them off to spend a month, enjoying an assortment of adventures.

The heavens are also coming full circle. Just this morning I was gazing out the kitchen window and noticed the sunlight shining through a patch of bushes along the east side of the back yard. I remember blogging about this last year, because the sun's position only allows for this to happen for a short time each year, usually right around late-May to late-June - Litha time. The sunlight seems to create a temporary door, like a portal to another dimension. It only lasts for perhaps 30 minutes, early each morning, before disappearing again, and I look forward to seeing it as I go through the motions of making my morning coffee.

Even with divination I'm experiencing a full circle. It was about this time last year that I leapt into professional reading and blogging about that journey. It's been a wonderful, rewarding year of reading for people all across the planet, exploring a wide variety of decks, jumping into Lenormand study, and joining in an international divination community which has provided endless opportunities to learn, share, and network. It's affirming that the close of this divination year should be punctuated by my experience as a guest on Christiana's Psychic Café - and that the show should air on International Tarot Day! It was almost a year ago, as well, that I joined the Tarot Blog Hop circle, and it's just now that I'm no longer "just" a participant, but a "wrangler" as well, for this June's Litha hop.

Finally, it's been a year of unexpected and important spiritual growth and awakening for me. I'm not a Wicca practitioner (though I suppose I practice some sort of "craft") but when I dove so intently and intentionally back into my spiritual practice last year, I held in my mind and heart the idea of "a year and a day" of study. My year and a day is almost up, and I find myself reviewing what I've learned, how it has impacted me on a variety of different levels, and how I will continue and build on this work moving forward. I hadn't thought of celebrating this in any way, but maybe, just maybe, I will.