Tarot Thursday Three: You Can't Please Em All

Here is another round of #tarotthursdaythree, hosted by Julia at Spiral Sea Tarot. Feel free to answer these on your own blog, and let me know so I can read your responses!

Question One

What was your first time like giving an in-person reading? Where were you? How did you feel? Spill the deets!

Hmmm... the first time I ever gave an in-person reading was when I was 14, to my sister, using my mother's Medicine Cards. And I won't count that, for all of those reasons! As an adult, I started to read for strangers online before I read for them in person, and the two contexts are quite different. Reading online offers the opportunity to conduct the reading in your own personal, quiet space, to ponder the cards at your leisure, and to compose your thoughts at your own pace, without the pressure of having to perform on the spot. That said, it takes a lot of time to write a reading up; sometimes it's nice to just be able to tell someone what you see instead. Email readings don't allow for that, and also limit the ability to engage with a client. That said, email readings are what I do most!

I was terrified when I did my first email reading. That's actually when I started using reversals. I laid the cards out and was immediately struck with desire for what I felt were the critically valuable subtleties of meaning that reversed cards provide. At any rate, the feedback was very positive, and I was so relieved. I will say, however, that despite all of the positive responses I received from clients over the many months following that initial reading, it took me ages to start to overcome the fear.

I was anxious (not terrified) the first time I did a "proper" in-person reading for someone, but it was a great experience, and I left feeling exhilarated. I was sitting at the person's kitchen table in Miami, and they had just discovered that I was a card reader. They were excited, and it was entirely unplanned (which probably augmented my nerves, but also prevented a deeper sort of fear from setting in!), but it went very well. It was also the first time that I read Lenormand for others. One of the questions I was asked was if a certain individual would have to go to jail for probation violation, and if so, if it would be less than a 6-month stint in jail. Talk about pressure. I pulled the cards, and I said, yes, and yes. And that is indeed what happened. That was as educational for me as it was informational for them. I started to think that perhaps I preferred face-to-face readings because it's quite lovely to interact with a client, to discuss the cards together, etc. But in the end, I just don't have the time for it, so my mainstay continues to be email readings, which are still deeply rewarding.

Wild Unknown Tarot

Question Two

Have you ever had a negative client response to one of your readings? How did they react and why? How did you respond back?

Of course! I don't believe that many card readers who have read for broad and diverse audiences have ever entirely escaped the occasional "difficult" client response (yes, that's a euphemism). Fortunately, out of the thousands of readings I've done, I can count the negative reactions on one hand - well, two fingers, to be precise. Interestingly, they were very similar people, despite being from opposite sides of the planet. I will preface this by saying that I approach all clients respectfully and kindly, and even when the cards are "rough," I never leave a reading on a negative note. No matter what the cards say, there is always room for growth, and there are always blessings to be found (Christiana Gaudet just wrote a great post about this).

The first of these experiences occurred toward the start of my "reading for strangers" career, and it left me utterly devastated. It was also a free reading that I offered for practice. The woman had been essentially rejected by her family members, was single and lonely, and having a hard time finding work. She wanted to know if she'd find employment soon. The cards reflected her difficulties with finding a job where she could apply her skill-set, and suggested that she try to cast a wider net, to consider options that weren't necessarily in her chosen field, and to look into short-term certificate programs that might help increase her prospects. She was not happy with that, and accused me of giving her entirely worthless advice. She also said that she really wanted to know "when" a job would fall into her lap, and I hadn't answered that at all. I felt really bad, and told her that while I believed time predictions to be hard to accurately pin down, I could try to give her that. She calmed a bit, and agreed. I interpreted the card that came up to mean that she would locate work within a 3-month window of time. She came back with even more vitriol than before, and said that I had robbed her of all hope, and that she might as well just kill herself already. Yes, she did say that. And she ended with telling me never to communicate with her again. It's probably no surprise that I sobbed for hours, and felt the weight of that experience for many days to come. I knew I had not done anything wrong, and that she was in a "dark" place, but it wasn't a huge comfort. However it was a good growing experience. You can try your hardest, have the purest of intentions and the kindest disposition, and you still can't please em all (also - it's not always about you).

The second was a woman who was lonely, and similarly had been pushed away by close family members. She had asked about the future of an internet relationship she was developing with a fellow quite a number of years her junior. The cards suggested that she was carrying some pain from the past that needed to be released, and that the relationship was likely to be a bit unstable - though not without potential. The cards were mainly about self-healing, and encouraged her to find small ways to focus on exploring joy in her day-to-day life (taking a short vacation, or even a staycation, rearranging her furniture, getting a haircut, etc.) Honestly, I knew from the moment I sent the reading that it wasn't what she wanted to hear. She needed me to say that this was the man of her dreams, that her life would be saved by the relationship. She didn't want to hear about healing. I anxiously awaited her reply, which, when it finally came, was far worse than I had ever imagined. She berated me. She told me that I was a terrible reader. She accused me of being trite and even condescending. She used several choice swear words. She said she had never been more remorseful at having spent money before, and that she wished she had never ordered the reading. She said that she was too miserable to find joy. The thing is, as hard as it was to read her words, I actually "got" that. And because of my previous experience a couple of years before, I was more able to detach myself from her tirade, and be compassionate. To be too miserable to find joy. That is heartbreaking. And I could understand, in that light, how she might read my words as being trite, despite that not being my intention. I wasn't able to help her in the way that she needed. I replied and told her that I was extremely sorry that she didn't find any value in what I had offered her. I told her that contrary to what she had expressed, I was indeed very sincere in wanting to help and support her. And I offered her a refund. She became immediately calm and said, "Yes, please." I sent her money back immediately, and later I offered up some prayers for her. Her email to me was unfair and unnecessarily disrespectful, yes, but I recognized that she was truly and deeply unhappy, and I didn't take it personally.

Question Three

Have you ever been challenged by a skeptic regarding tarot? What was your experience like?

No. The closest I've come was once when I was taking an "intuitive Tarot" class and the instructor had invited in some acquaintances for us to practice with. I read for a woman's partner, and he was a total stone wall. The woman told me that he was generally pretty critical of all things divinatory (which I thought was ironic and probably not entirely true since he had volunteered to be there), but that she felt the readings were helpful for him anyway. It was a pretty powerful experience. The reading was potent and lovely, and the man never once uttered a peep! (But his lady sent me some smiles and deep nods along the way!).

Super Bowl XLIX Prediction

I'm not an American football-fan, nevertheless that did not prevent me from pulling some cards about the outcome of last year's game (which you can read about here!). So I thought I'd do the same this year, just to see how it all plays out (pun sort-of intended).

Last year the cards were in favor of the underdog, the Sea Hawks, and they did indeed succeed... in fact they destroyed the Broncos. They're back at the Bowl this year, and this year most people are rooting in their favor. So naturally, my cards have again come out in favor of the (sort of) underdog: the Patriots. Here are the cards:

Sea Hawks: 

10 of Swords rx - Page of Pentacles - Queen of Wands rx

Patriots:

9 of Pentacles - 2 of Cups - Knight of Swords

So how do I read these lines? I think that the Sea Hawks will make a great effort, but their energy will be erratic which will prevent them from ultimate success. Meanwhile the Patriots have solid form and aggressive tactics to boot, with that nice 2 of Cups in the middle uniting those two important energies. 

There's only one way to find out how it's going to go down.. gotta watch the game tomorrow!!!

Update: The Patriots won 28-24, and the Sea Hawks definitely put up a great fight. The 2 of Cups was the Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady, and his teammate Edelman - they were responsible for most of the scoring, and even hugged at one point after a sweet touchdown. The team itself as a single entity was the 9 of Pentacles: tight, together, and strong. Interestingly, there are 11 active players during a game, for each side, and 9+2 is 11. This seems to underscore the team togetherness. The Knight could have been a number of the players from the team - swift and smart. 

Lenormand Predicts a Little Luck

This morning I pulled a daily line of 3 for my husband, using my Game of Hope 2.0 deck:

Clover - Fish - Tower

Game of Hope 2.0 Lenormand

I showed him, happily, and said, "Financial luck with a company or institution!" 

He said, "Hmmm, should I buy a lottery ticket?" 

I said, "Meh... there's no Letter, so I don't necessarily see a winning ticket, but at any rate it looks good! Let's see what happens..."

I had to run off to teach an English class (yes, on a Sunday morning, the first time ever and I'm hoping not to make it a regular thing). While I was on campus I received a text message from none other than the cell phone company, notifying me that they would be deducting $20 from my account, as I had approved. This is the second time I've received such a text in the past week, and sure enough they do take the money. But I definitely didn't approve anything of the sort. I quickly sent a message to Jorge letting him know what was going on, and he said he would call them and find out.

Later at home he informed me that he had called and left a message with them, but they never called back, so he went outside to try again. This time he managed to reach a phone operator and after a cursory glance they informed him that for "some reason" we had been signed up for a service without our knowledge, and they were making regular deductions for it. They immediately put a stop on the payments they were pulling from our account, and explained that they would credit our monthly bill for the amount they already charged for this mystery service. 

As Jorge was filling me in, I suddenly grinned and said, "Hey! Your cards!" 

He smiled grudgingly and said, "Hmph... I'd rather have a winning lottery ticket."

Hey, Clover may give us a "little luck" - but I'll take it!

Myths About That Nasty "F" Word

I want to talk about “fortune telling,” a polemic that by nature has both supporters and detractors in the divination community. Some feel it is entirely disempowering, and liken it to the mysterious ladies in flowing skirts brandishing crystal balls at the traveling circus – a bit doomy, and altogether distasteful, even unethical. Others find it simply a term, like any other, that represents a manner of divination that looks into the unfolding future of a client. Just when I start to think that this topic has died and become a non-issue, it rears its head again, begging a real discussion rather than brief (and at times heavily opinionated and biased) monologues throughout social media platforms.

Photo Credit: Mike Licht

I decided to offer up some of my own views regarding popular myths on the matter. This is hardly exhaustive of even my own thoughts, as one question tends to lead to another, and another, and so on. Nevertheless, I have to start somewhere, don’t I!  So here goes:

1) Fortune telling is disempowering.

There seems to be a school of thought that suggests that explaining the most likely turn of events in a client’s situation removes any ability to influence their own circumstances. Hell, if that were true, I would certainly not be a fortune teller – I’m all about empowerment! When done well, fortune telling identifies what will probably take place in the client’s future, and also aids the client in determining an appropriate responsive action, or at the very least, helps the client by allowing them to mentally/emotionally/materially prepare for what’s coming. There is nothing disempowering about that.  A very simplistic and practical illustration: I read my daily cards and if I see rain, I bring an umbrella. If I see a check bouncing, I move funds over. If I see an X-factor that could throw a wrench in my fabulous plans that surely could never go wrong, I make sure I have a Plan B. You learn how to read the future by doing it regularly, by being a dedicated student to the art, by seeing how things play out over time; by being painfully correct, and on occasion by being "off" and having to recalibrate. When you understand what you’re seeing, you can respond to it. Thus fortune telling can be extremely invaluable.

2) Fortune telling exists in a vacuum.

Most readers who read “fortunes” also read using other styles. Just because someone engages in fortune telling doesn’t mean that it’s the only approach they use, or even that it’s a preferred method.

3) Good/ethical/caring readers distance themselves from anything related to telling fortunes.

What I have to say to this: Bah humbug, semantics. It’s all semantics, and don’t let them try to convince you otherwise. What do you mean by “fortune telling?” What do I mean by “fortune telling?” I would venture to say that most readers, regardless of their discipline, and regardless of their self-perceptions and/or preference of labels, tell fortunes. Long ago I wrote a post about fortune telling and mentioned that any reader that pulls an “outcome” card in a spread is engaging in fortune telling. Many readers attempt to brush off the act by saying that they are simply looking at “what could be” – but also assuring the client that he or she is entirely able to alter the outcome by changing their decisions. I don’t buy into that 100%: #1, I think that in some cases it’s simply a matter of a reader being uncomfortable with attempting to discern the future, in which case saying that the future is "set in sand" relieves the pressure of feeling responsible for being correct (or incorrect!), #2, in some instances readers adhere to the false idea that by reading the future you are robbing the client of agency (in which case, see #1 in this post), and #3, I think that life is simply more complicated than that. Sure, I agree that we can and do influence our future every day. But I also believe that some things are beyond our influence. Perhaps that thought is frightening to some, but I find that by being aware of that, I’m more able to influence what is in my power to alter, or if nothing else, I’m able to alter my mental or emotional approach. As they say, “forewarned is forearmed.”

Another interesting thing to note here is that most readers I know, even those that eschew the notion of fortune telling, talk quite openly about how accurate their future-oriented readings are (“I told her this would probably happen, and she didn’t believe me, but hey - it did!”). I think that’s great, who doesn’t want to be highly accurate? But I do find it a bit hypocritical.

4) Fortunetellers identify themselves as fortunetellers.

I call myself a card reader, because that’s the clearest and most direct definition for what I do. As I said in #2, I don’t only look into the future. I look into the present. I uncover hidden agendas, inner agonies, the need for healing, frustrations, unrealized strengths, talents on the verge of blooming. I look into the past to see what came before and how it’s impacting the present, and how it may well continue on to impact the future if it’s not addressed. I don’t like labels, really, and as much as I don’t have a problem with the term “fortune teller,” I don’t tend to call myself one any more than I’d call myself a “Tarot counselor.”

*****************************************************************************

I entirely understand the desire to dissociate from a term typically associated with the circus doomsday proclaimer, and I wholly support the fact that as diviners we have a responsibility to help empower our clients. I also recognize that there isn’t really any other term out there at the moment that carries the appropriate definition (except perhaps "predictive reader" or  “divination”??) to describe what fortune telling involves. But I also think that criticizing the practice both insults the art and those who ethically practice it, while at the same time supporting the negative myths associated with the term. I feel that once there is a better understanding of what fortune telling truly is, and how it’s most commonly practiced, there will be a gradual decline in the number of readers that object to its existence in contemporary divination circles.

The Three of Cups Saves the Day

This has been one rough week so far! When I drew Death for my weekly card I suspected that it would relate to the adjustments here at home now that Jorge is in Sweden. Quite right. In the Lenormand system, Death's counterpart appears as the Coffin, and can represent illnesses and cancellations. I've had quite a bit of those as well this week. Now that Gabriel has started at his daycare center (which he really likes, for the most part) he's exposed to all those other adorable-and-germy children, so as is wont to occur, he's come down with a nasty cold. I didn't need the cards to predict that for me! And his sickness has led me to cancel some classes and rearrange my schedule so that I can be home with him, dumping elderberry and lemon balm tea down his gullet on the hour.

I was hoping to return to my normal schedule today, and was hopeful that Gabriel would feel better enough to return to his center. Being rather anxious about it, last night I decided to throw some cards about what I might expect for today. I first asked how Gabriel would do at school, and I pulled the 5 of Cups and the Hermit reversed. Sigh. That blurted out to me: he's going to be really sad, and he'll feel abandoned. Gah.

5 of Cups, DruidCraft Tarot
Will Worthington

Next I pulled a card about how things would go at work, and I pulled the 3 of Cups. Ah hah. I would have some friendly support from my colleagues. I started to wonder if I might even be able to find someone to sub for me for today, but then I realized that it was already 8:00pm, and knew it was a bit late to be scrambling around trying to find help. I would try to go to work, and I'd plan to bring Gabriel to his center the next morning.

After a full day of herbal remedies and rest he had a much better night last night, but he's still healing. He slept so long that I had to wake him up ten minutes before we needed to leave so that I could at least get him dressed and comb his hair before heading out the door. I knew that was a potential recipe for disaster; waking up a sick child and hurrying them out the door into the bright, wide world is not a kind way to start the day! But he did okay. He even brushed his teeth and consented to taking a little heart-shaped homeopathic pill to help with his congestion. It was as we were getting our shoes on that things started to go awry. He said, "I don't want to go to school, I want to stay home!" He refused to carry his lunchbox. He enjoys school quite a bit, so I knew that if he was feeling a preference for home, he really needed the comfort and security. But what could I do? I had no plan B. So we got in the car and drove to his center and as we sat in the parking lot the tears started to roll. He was just so sad. I saw the 5 of Cups and Hermit reversed floating through my mind, and as I watched those pitiful teardrops fall, I made a split second decision to take him to work with me. What the heck??? I didn't know. I didn't know what I'd do with him while I was teaching, I just knew that I couldn't force him to stay at his school in that state. So off we went. We dropped Lourdes at her school, and headed to the university.

DruidCraft Tarot - W. Worthington

On the way I was thinking about that 3 of Cups. I decided to call my colleague, Rose, and let her know what was going on. I explained the fiasco and she listened with a sympathetic ear. She had to give an interview at 11am so it wasn't a straight forward fix, but she thought we could work something out. We hung up as I pulled into the school parking lot. Gabriel helped me retrieve the room key, and my student was surprised and pleased to have a tiny classmate (this was a tutoring session, fortunately, rather than a full-sized class!). Eventually I reconnected with Rose, and in addition spoke with my program coordinator and another colleague, and between us all we worked out a plan to cover the necessary tutoring hours for my student. This allowed me to take my son home to ever more tea and couch-laying. I was grateful.

The cards accurately predicted how Gabriel would feel about attending school, but they also gave me a remedy. Though at first I didn't see how best to take advantage of the potentially available support network, when I made that sudden choice to not send my child to school, I was thrust into a situation that spurred me to reach out to others, and they indeed came together to aid me in that moment of need. What is special about that is the encouragement that the 3 of Cups had given me. I was feeling very much that I had to work everything out on my own. Pulling that card opened up an idea in my mind about how I might leverage help from others, and my trust in that possibility made me comfortable reaching out to ask for what I needed. I didn't have to figure it out on my own, and the positive energy of the card I'd drawn allowed me to believe that a solution was possible, and achievable. And it was.

Go divination. ;-)

A Lenormand Daily Tells It True

I pull Lenormand lines of 3 almost every day, both for myself and for my husband. Of course as with dailies across any system of divination, the meaning of the cards tends to be toned-down or even literal.

If you draw a rather negative card, therefore, such as the Clouds, this is a good thing; rather than signifying deep confusion or misfortune it most likely is referring to a momentary feeling of uncertainty, or even that it will be raining that day. On the other hand, it also means that the very best cards are also toned-down or literal, so the Bouquet may suggest that your allergies could be an issue (flowers carry pollen, after all!).

With these variations in mind, dailies can be a great way to get to know the cards, as well as seeing how your predictions manifest across your day.

Yesterday morning I pulled Rider - Sun - Fish. The meaning was quite clear: Good news about money. The card on the bottom of the deck was Letter, so I imagined that the news would come in the form of a letter or an email. Ooooo, good news about money! I tried not to get too excited, since I figured it would unlikely signify anything life-changing. But all the same it was a positive line to pull, so I took a picture and promptly forgot about it entirely.

Game of Hope Lenormand

I worked a long day and in the evening Jorge picked me up and brought me home. As we were driving down our street I noticed a plant I wanted to investigate up-close, so after we pulled into our driveway, I dropped my bags in the house so that we could stroll down the block to check it out. As we passed the mailbox Jorge pulled out everything we'd received that day, and seeing a stack of envelopes I was keen to know what they were all about; I wanted to enjoy the stroll, and with that bundle of tantalizingly mysterious mail it was hard to concentrate. So I made him stop in his tracks and flip through each bit until I was satisfied that there was nothing of particular interest or concern, and we continued on our way. In fact the only envelope I was at all curious about was from my health insurance following a procedure I'd had several weeks back. A week earlier the doctor's office had sent me the bill in full and after having a mini-heart attack I realized that they'd never billed my insurance company! So I called and straightened it out, though I was still a bit anxious that there would be some cost left-over for me to pay.

The plant was a bust (not the type it had seemed to be from the car) so we headed back home. Jorge put the stack of mail in the kitchen and I grabbed the envelope from my insurance company to open. I was immensely relieved - between the insurance discount and the coverage, I had nothing left to pay!

And it was then that I started laughing because I realized that my morning line of 3 had just manifested: very good news about money. :)

A Reading with la Baraja de Las Indias (Baraja Española)

My husband picked up a wonderful Baraja Española for me on his last trip overseas. This particular deck is called la Baraja de las Indias, and Jorge said it’s exactly the kind of deck that his grandmother used in Cuba. The last time he went home to visit he tried to find her cards to bring back to me, but was unable to locate them. So he was very happy to come across this set in an antique store in Spain this summer, and I was happy too: not only do they create some sort of connection with his grandmother (who died before I could have met her), but I’d never seen a Baraja Española that looked so….old….before! And I love it.

This Baraja de las Indias is a reproduction (by RBA Editors) of a deck created in the 18th Century. There is little information available online about this precise deck, but what I did learn is that it was created in Spain specifically for distribution in the Americas. As with many Barajas, this has a total of 48 cards split into four suits: cups (copas), wands (bastos), swords (espadas), and pentacles (oros). Each suit has Ace-9, plus three court cards: Page (sota), Knight (caballo), and King (rey).

Baraja de las Indias

There is a reasonable amount of literature available on the Baraja Española both online and in print, though it’s not nearly as exhaustive as for Tarot. Most of the more interesting information I’ve found about card meanings and reading methods has been in Spanish rather than English (which makes sense, no?) so the principal reference I’m using for practice readings is a Spanish eBook I found on Amazon. I’m not sure that it’s the very best, but so far it’s been very helpful, particularly because the system is different, to some degree, from Tarot. You may be tempted to transfer Tarot meanings from the Minor Arcana to these cards, and while in many cases you may be on the right track, there are enough substantial differences that you really need to study it as a separate kind of divinatory system.

Today I had a rather important meeting at work, so last night I decided to pull three cards from my Baraja de las Indias to see how things might transpire.  My husband has a great opportunity this autumn, but it will require some changes to my own work schedule in order to accommodate things, and of course I had to meet with my program manager to verify the feasibility of those changes. If she were to say that the changes would work out well, Jorge could finalize his plans. If there were problems, he couldn’t. So I shuffled my lovely, blue flower-backed cards and laid three out before me:

Baraja de las Indias (Baraja Española)

King of Espadas – 3 of Oros – 4 of Copas

The first thing that caught my attention was that all were in the upright position, which was nice to see. I felt that the King of Espadas/Swords may represent my program supervisor and the clarity of mind necessary to work out the details of my work schedule over the next three months. The 3 of Oros/Pentacles looked good – it has a similar meaning to Tarot: positive upswing in business; success. The 4 of Copas/Cups in the Baraja Española tends to be a positive card, predicting a satisfactory conclusion to an important meeting, or successful agreements. Hmm! That was encouraging! I took a picture of the cards, and went to bed.

Shortly after arriving at work this morning I wrote to my program director to request a meeting, and within an hour I was sitting in her office going over my proposal. Following some dialogue and a few minutes of poring over spreadsheets, she gave me a full and happy approval! So I sent a message to Jorge and told him to go ahead and make his plans. The cards spoke clearly, and the ball is rolling!

The Barons Come Calling

I feel like I’ve been gone so long, I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve started to write this post a couple of times, and each time ended up stopping due to being entirely overwhelmed!

For a long time (months, I suppose) I’d been foreseeing a June full of changes. I saw that I’d perhaps experience something negative that would have potentially positive financial consequences, but had no idea what that would look like in real life. We were planning a trip to Michigan to drop the kids off with my parents for several weeks, and I saw some challenges and surprises surrounding that, but had no idea how that would play out either.  June was certainly a “full” month, and the trip to Michigan was not without its challenges, and in this post I’ll attempt to shed some light on the cards (and runes) I was seeing, and how things ultimately fell together…

 Wildwood Tarot
W. Worthington

When I did a New Year’s reading for myself, choosing a card for each month of the year, The Great Bear (from the Wildwood Tarot - similar to Judgment) fell into the position for June 2014. Likewise, when I did Jorge’s, the Journey (akin to Death) fell for the same month in his reading. That was enough for me to be very aware of what might develop during this particular month, and in the time leading up to June I did quite a few spreads with the intention of gleaning as much information as possible. I would see Lenormand cards that to me suggested an ending (or possibly illness or death!) that would help me financially. Naturally I was a bit nervous, but I also didn’t really know how that would manifest. I was hoping everyone in my family would be okay. On the first day of June I flew up to Michigan for 2 short days to attend the wedding reception for my sister. On the final afternoon I was looking at cards for the return trip and kept seeing cards like: Rider – Whip – Coffin, and Rider – Crossroads – Cross that had me anxious. Would my flight be canceled? No, it wasn’t, and it went on quite normally and according to plan. I wasn’t sure what those cards were about, even though such cards for daily draws are usually toned down, and hence don’t carry the same intense meaning as it might usually. Less than 24 hours later I was back home and sitting at a red light waiting to turn left, when I was suddenly hit by a man who had crossed through the intersection, passed over top of the median, and slammed into the side of my car. I was stunned, but fortunately didn’t have anything more than a few bumps and bruises, and some shoulder aches. This man had bounced off me and hit the woman behind me as well. In the end, he had no insurance to speak of, and my company was considering going after this man legally. I was prepared for a long and stressful journey. Interestingly, the insurance company deemed my car a total loss, and they paid off the remainder of the car loan, and then some. We had already considered downsizing to a single car for our family, but didn’t think we’d get enough in the sale to make up for what we had left of our loan, so it didn’t seem likely that we would be a one-car family anytime soon. Suddenly we were down to one car, I wasn’t too injured, and our loan was entirely gone.

All of that was challenging, yet ultimately worked out heavily in our favor, and I realized that this was the event I’d been seeing in my cards – not a death or illness, but definitely a severe ending that led to financial improvement. The side effect of the crash was that I passed through a period of deep existentialism. In Spanish we say “cuando te toca, te toca,” meaning that when it’s your time, there’s nothing you can do about it. I’m a good driver, a careful driver, but sometimes it just doesn’t matter how great you are. This man made a beeline right for me, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Looking back I realized that those cards I’d pulled before my return to Florida were precisely describing my accident and its location (at a crossroads). But there was nothing I could really have done about it. Even if I’d been aware that it was referring to a car accident, how could I have known which intersection, or in which manner it would unfold? Rather than being a negative thing, I saw this (and still do) as a powerful teaching experience for working with predictions, one that makes me a more skilled reader/interpreter.

Still, I was quite upset about the occurrence. I realized just how fragile things are, and how unexpectedly a millisecond can totally change your life. I didn’t have a hard time driving after that (though Jorge didn’t really want me to!), but I did experience anxiety when I was a passenger – I wasn’t in control, couldn’t gauge the velocity or time needed to stop the car – and every car that passed by or made a rapid movement really scared me and had me grabbing the seat, white-knuckled. I’m much better now, but that sense of treating each moment as precious and valuable still hasn’t left me.

New Orleans Voodoo Tarot
S. Glassman

During that time I had little desire to interact with the outside world. I became very focused on my private life – family, myself, my goals. I took an unplanned break from everything while shifting and reevaluating.  And along the way I kept reading about this big trip up to Michigan with the kids which would happen at the very end of June, and I was seeing cards like the Sun reversed, 3 of Swords, 5 of Cups…and that was concerning! I didn’t need another difficult blow. I was on the verge of canceling the trip simply to avoid any challenges. I pulled more cards from my Voodoo Tarot and drew the Barons – essentially a wild card that predicts unexpected chaos for which you can do nothing but keep your sense of humor. Really?

Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot

I pulled runes, and they all said the same thing: expect the unexpected!

I did what I could. I had Jorge fix everything on the car, change the tires and the oil. At least I didn’t want the car breaking down! On the morning of our departure I pulled three Lenormand cards: Lady – Bouquet – Ship. That was an incredible comfort to me – we’d have a comfortable voyage. And in the end our ride north was smooth, albeit long, and we arrived in Michigan without any problems. Whew!

But all of those cards and runes that had concerned me were entirely apt:

The Sun reversed, 3 of Swords, and 5 of Cups were spot on. I was heartbroken about leaving my kids behind with my parents. I knew they’d be in good hands, but my little son had never been away from us – ever – and I was deeply concerned that he would have a hard time adjusting. I was so sad. In fact Jorge and I were both sad enough to change our plans a bit. On the day we were originally going to leave to drive back home (sans kids) we decided that I would stay on for another week and Jorge would drive the car back on his own. He had to leave for Sweden a couple of days later so he couldn’t stay with me. So I alerted my work, took some extra vacation days, and bought a one-way flight back home for the following Sunday. Quite a significant change at the last moment!

Hagal

Then, on the evening of the day that Jorge left to drive home, I discovered that all of the kids had contracted lice. Isa had spent time trying on hats at H&M a couple of weeks before, and all the kids share the same hairbrush. So Jorge left, and I acquired lice shampoo, bedding spray, and nit combs, and went to work. I spent an entire day washing and combing out hair, spraying mattresses and washing clothes, and I spent several more days following that doing damage control (and being extremely paranoid). Meanwhile I could see the Barons laughing at me in my mind’s eye, and I just had to laugh along with them. Sometimes things get so crazy and out of hand that laughing really is the best, and maybe only, thing to do.

On his way back home Jorge told me that one of the tires kept losing air…one of the brand new tires we just had put on. He had to stop every couple of hours to refill it with air, and upon arriving at home he took it back to the auto shop at which point they showed him a large hole in the tire; we must have run over something on the highway and punctured the tire without realizing it. Fortunately he was able to change it so it was in perfect condition when I flew back into town.

My favorite part of all of this is that as I did these readings for myself prior to the trip, I wrote them down in my journal along with advice for myself. In fact at one point I told myself: “Things may not go according to plan. If money becomes a concern, don’t worry too much – money is just a tool.”  Um…yes!!!!!! Though I re-read this after the fact, it was still comforting to me. Indeed, many things deviated from expectation, and money was a very useful tool in this case. I’d also forgotten that I’d pulled cards on how to get through any complications, and my advice had been to go slow, be patient, and cover all the bases – but that ultimately I’d be okay. I suppose I should pay more attention to my own readings!

Experiences like this help give heightened perspective for readings that ultimately help us become far better, more discerning, wise, and careful readers, and I’m grateful for everything I’ve learned. In many ways my June was certainly the beginning of a Rebirth of sorts, and I’ll likely be riding the wave for some time to come.

No Exchange for You!: Fortune Telling and Free Will

Back at the end of December I made a purchase (on a whim) of a book that turned out not to be what I was looking for. I considered returning it, but was a bit unsure about whether I should do that, or keep it and add it to my library. So for a few months it sat on a table in my kitchen, neither here nor there, its receipt tucked neatly into the pages.

Finally yesterday I decided to see about exchanging it for something I'd get more use out of. I'd bought it at a local metaphysical shop where I happen to be taking my weekly mediumship class, so it was great timing: I could arrive to class a few minutes early, browse a bit, then make the exchange and go to class. I was slightly anxious about it since, while the book was in pristine condition and I had the receipt, several months had passed, and I was worried that  there would be some 90-day limitation on returns that I wasn't aware of. But nothing of the sort was printed on the receipt, and nothing appeared when I checked their website, so I figured I'd just take it in and see what happened. When I told my concerns to my sister, she thought it was silly - of course they'd accept it as a return, and if I wanted an exchange, even better!

So I threw a few Lenormand cards to see what I might expect, and this is what I pulled:

Snake - Mice - Sun

Enchanted Lenormand - Caitlin Matthews

Ugh. I was hoping that with the Sun on the end there would be some sort of successful ending to the affair, but as they say, the Mice either eat up or poop on the cards on either side of it. And Mice was also the center card, which gave it extra importance. I figured that I'd interact with a woman (Snake) who would inform me that the exchange wouldn't be able to happen (my loss - Mice), which would cause disappointment (Mice - Sun). However the woman herself would likely be pleasant enough (Snake - Sun). Nevertheless, I decided I would still bring the book with me just to see how it would all play out. Just for curiosity's sake, I decided to lay out a line of 5 on the same topic, to check out the details:

Key - Heart - Fox - Cross - Whip

Enchanted Lenormand - Caitlin Matthews

Bah. The Fox told me there was something "wrong" about the situation, and I'd probably end up feeling deceived in some way. Key - Heart was about my deep desire to make things work in my favor, but Heart - Cross said, "Nope! That ain't gonna happen!" and Cross - Whip indicated I'd probably land in a somewhat awkward discussion with the lady regarding the situation. As it was about an event occurring that same evening, even the negative cards took on a far less intense energy than if this were a reading covering a several-month period of time. For daily draws, Whips usually indicates "an awkward interaction," in my experience, rather than the usual "strife, arguments (etc.)". I don't like awkward interactions, much less ones that occur in public places and in close quarters. So I had an option - I could call the store and ask about the possibility of an exchange, thereby avoiding any potential discomfort later on. Oh the brilliance!

So I gave the store a call, and a nice sounding lady answered. I explained that I was hoping to exchange a book I'd previously purchased but never read, and that I had the receipt. Then she explained  very kindly that they don't do returns or exchanges EVER for books, candles, incense, and a few other odds and ends. So there you have it. Why no returns on books? Maybe because they don't feel like becoming a library for people who buy, read, then return, I suppose. Who knows, and I'm not feeling motivated to inquire, either.  

But this reading illustrates an important aspect of fortune telling that I think is worth highlighting (despite the fact that the event itself was rather unimportant when all is said and done). I didn't have any reason to think that an exchange wouldn't be possible, but my cards indicated otherwise. By confirming a negative outcome using a second spread, I was able to make a decision about how to proceed with the situation, and in addition was able to prepare for a potential outcome that didn't reflect my wishes. Rather than deal with a slightly awkward interaction in the store, I was able to alter my course of action. So instead of bringing the book with me to "see what happens" I chose to call and inquire first, which gave me my (expected) answer, leading me to avoid the awkward situation portended by the second reading (in particular the Cross - Whip). When readers speak of Free Will they often consider this to mean that the future is not knowable, and that in each moment we can alter the course of our destiny. The latter is somewhat true, but I feel that it's not quite as fluid as people are wont to believe. As a reader who practices fortune telling, I've seen that the future is often very much "knowable." Rather than seeing this as disempowerment, I see this as an opportunity take some control over the things that may come to pass in my life. By understanding what is likely to transpire, we can make choices about how we will confront it, and therein lies quite a lot of power and agency - and Will. 

Lenormand Predicts a Problem (and a Solution)

My husband left this morning for Cuba to visit his mother, sister and niece for a week. Two nights ago I pulled a line of five to find out how his trip would go, and drew:

Key - Birds - Fish - Crossroads - Coffin

Reading with Enchanted Lenormand
Caitlín Matthews

Everything seemed to make a lot of sense, but it concerned me because I saw him making calls to me to tell me about a problem with money, and decisions that would need to be made in regards to some financial issue. The Key underscored the certainty of the situation, but I had no idea what the issue would be. In Cuba credit and debit cards don't work so you have to bring cash. My fear was that either someone would steal his money, or it'd be lost, however the end card was Coffin, not Mice. So I wasn't sure how to envision the actual problem. I told him about the reading, showing him the picture I'd taken of the cards. I asked him to be extremely careful with his money, keeping it on his person, being careful not to be lured into going far beyond his originally planned expenses for any reason (or whatever the issue might have ended up being).  He was nervous, but I said "Look, at least by having an idea about what might happen, you have the opportunity to try to protect yourself." (Though to be honest, sometimes I feel like you can surely know the future, and still have no idea in what context it might occur, which does really put limitations on how well you can prepare for it. But I digress, kind of…)

So our principal bank is located out of state which means that to obtain larger quantities of cash it's necessary to use the ATM. He had taken out half of what he planned to bring with him several days earlier, but waited until he was near the airport, with the friends who were bringing him there, in order to stop to take out the second amount. So at 11:00pm I began to get frantic calls from him saying that the ATM wasn't working, and wouldn't let him take out any money. I checked our account and all was well, he checked his card's expiration date, and all was sound. He kept trying, and it just wasn't working. It was not within the same 24 hour period as the first draw. We had no idea what was going on, and then suddenly it dawned on me that my draw had predicted this exact turn of events. My question had been "Tell me about his trip." I didn't specify what part of the trip! I was thinking it would be about his actual duration of time in Cuba, and hadn't even considered his initial leg of the journey - driving to another city and getting settled at the airport. The reading very clearly stated what was transpiring, and now the Coffin was so obvious - the cancellation of a financial transaction!  

So what's the breakdown of the line? Key - Fish - Coffin = the cancellation of a financial transaction is certain. Key - Coffin = certain endings/cancellations. Birds - Crossroads = telephone conversations about a decision that needs to be made (about the financial cancellation). 

So I decided to pull another line of five to find out how this situation might develop:

Rider - Child - Owls - Anchor - Lady

Reading with Blaue Eule Lenormand

What I saw here was continued, rapid communication with me (Rider - Owls - Lady) about this issue, and support that helps stabilize the situation (Child - Anchor). Okay, so it might be alright after all. 

I pulled a final line of 5 to see how this might impact his actual follow-through with his trip, and pulled:

Lady - Dog - Scythe - Man - Stars

Reading with Blaue Eule Lenormand

Lady - Dog suggested to me both my own loyalty to do whatever I could to help, and also Ariana*, one of our friends who had driven my husband to the airport. Scythe was about very rapid decision-making in order to clear out the confusion and find a solution, and Man - Stars told me that my husband would find a way to make his flight when all was said and done. In fact Lady - Dog had me wondering if it would be some sort of teamwork between Ariana and me (which is indeed what happened).

(I am editing this post to add a note about the Scythe. The Scythe sucks - no way around that. The rapid decisions did allow for the trip to take place - a good thing - but certainly there was some stress and also some unpleasant consequences).

As I went to bed my husband was still waiting for midnight in order to try one more time at the ATM. I drew three cards to see if this final attempt would be successful, and it didn't look promising (Letter - Man - Mice). So as I drifted off, I decided to put my faith in my draws, that all would work out okay.  When I woke up the next morning I had a series of texts telling me that the final attempt had not worked out after all. My husband and our friends had arranged a plan where Ariana was able to cover the money that wasn't able to be withdrawn from the ATM, and I would then send the same amount to her in the mail to replace her loan. Quick thinking, and a successful conclusion. 

*I changed this name to protect privacy

An Infant in the Palm of the Universe

(This was a hard post for me to write, and I hope it makes sense, and also apologize if anything appears sloppy! One note - while this topic is relevant to all divination, I am specifically speaking about my learning experiences with the Lenormand system in this post)

One thing I've been wondering about lately is….our ethics as readers in terms of telling the truth of what we see, no matter what. Who are we to withhold information? This is sticky territory - what if I think I see something, but I'm not absolutely positive, so I don't act on it? What if I'm wrong? 

But what if I'm right? 

Yesterday on one of the Lenormand boards, a deck creator was giving away a free deck. In order to join the competition, you had to choose one out of the 36 cards. Once 36 people were signed up, the creator would randomly pick a card, and the person connected to that card would win. I chose Tree. I had a feeling I wasn't going to win. I decided to do a 3 card Lenormand draw on the very superficial question: "Will I win the deck?" I drew: Cross - Mice - Tree.  It couldn't have been clearer. NO WAY, NOT GONNA HAPPEN! Actually it was SO clear that I burst out laughing.  So then I decided to draw a card asking which would be the winner. I drew the Lily, and left it at that. An hour or so later I dropped back in to the forum and the winner had been chosen. And guess what? It was the LILY!!! I could not get over it. I was having all sorts of chills and tingles, I was so excited. Seriously? Out of 36 cards, my deck told me exactly who the winner would be. I still can't believe it, kind of. I feel confident in the quality and accuracy of my readings, but something about the odds, or the predictive nature of this experience really shocked me. I really didn't believe it would be the Lily. And it was.

So then I started thinking about predictions, and about the future. We often say, as readers, that the "future is set in sand." It can be tricky to accurately see what's to come because there are often so many factors that influence what will happen, and even if we foresee a particular event, there's always a chance it may not come to pass. And I do believe that. Most of our life situations are far more complicated than "which card will win the deck?" Nevertheless, I started to wonder just how much of the future is fairly pre-determined, and how much is open to being manipulated or altered.  I believe in Free Will, and I also believe that some things aren't meant to be known (when this happens I often pull the High Priestess, or even sometimes the Wheel of Fortune). 

Now onto something more serious. I did a Lenormand GT for a family member around Christmas time, a sort of "year ahead" kind of predictive outlook. I saw his mother becoming very ill, I saw his sister perhaps knowing of the illness but not being forthcoming with the information, and I saw my loved one taking a sudden trip home due to this issue. I saw a pretty dire set of circumstances. I didn't say anything about it because…what if I was wrong? I can't pass on this kind of news! I said nothing to him, though I did mention it to my mother at the time, in confidence.

Time passed and I became busy with other things. A reader friend of mine is studying a new divination method using cards and just last night offered to read for me for practice. I happily obliged, and asked her some questions about work. When she finished she sent me the results and said "Olivia, I hate to say this, but I didn't see a lot about work - I saw that someone in your family is going through a hard time, and there may be an serious illness coming up really soon." I sighed, and told her about the GT, though as of yesterday there were no signs of any developments in this regard. I decided that today I would do some investigating, send an email to my family member's sister to check things out. I never had the chance. My dear loved one sent me a message this afternoon informing me that his sister just called to report that his mother is ill and he is planning a sudden trip home. 

What control do we have, or should we have, as readers, regarding the information we see? Maybe I could have been wrong, maybe my reader friend could have been wrong. But we weren't. What if I had told my loved one of this possibility at Christmas time? He might have been able to prepare, even financially, for this turn of events. But what if I had been wrong? What if I had told him and caused undue worry and concern? Do I have a responsibility to say what I see, even if I fear I might be wrong? Or is that I'm afraid I might be right? Who am I to see something and choose not to report it? I am really just an infant in the palm of the universe. 

There are a lot of questions I'm pondering now, and I don't have answers for any of them. Maybe we *could* have been wrong, but we were not wrong. We sometimes doubt ourselves - doubt our ability, doubt our interpretations, doubt the permanency of the messages we see when high-stakes issues are on the table. What is our responsibility? 

This is something I'll be turning over and over in the days to come.

Super Bowl XLVIII Prediction

Yeah… I don't follow sports and didn't even know who was playing until I looked it up on the internet today, but I thought I'd join the throngs of diviners who are making "for fun" predictions about the outcome of this big match today!

So apparently the majority seem to be showing the Broncos as the favored team, and I assumed that when I pulled my own cards I'd see the same result. But no…. At first I pulled three cards for each team:

Broncos

Queen of Coins reversed - 4 Swords reversed - Empress reversed

Yikes. That didn't look promising. In particular I see a lack of communication on the team, and things not coming together the way they'd planned. Their "bottom of the deck" card was Judgement which is a pretty intense card that could help them, however.

Sea Hawks

High Priestess - Emperor - 4 Swords reversed

So the 4 Swords made another appearance - very interesting!!! All the same, the other two cards are upright Trumps, and the Emperor at the center of it all shows strong leadership and organization, probably due to the coach and/or an important player (MVP). The High Priestess gives the feeling that there's an unknown element that will play to their favor. Their "bottom of the deck" card was the Wheel of Fortune, which is a pretty favorable card for them to receive!

Okay so I was feeling like the Sea Hawks had the advantage, but still wasn't willing to own it in public, especially with the Big Guns in Tarot coming out with readings favoring the Broncos.  So I decided to pull two more cards - one to gauge the Broncos' likelihood of winning, and the other to determine that of the Sea Hawks:

Broncos: 9 of Coins reversed

Sea Hawks: Queen of Coins

Golden Tarot - Kat Black
US Games

Alright so that did it for me. I am officially announcing that I feel the Sea Hawks will win this big game (just look at that Queen - doesn't she just *know* she's got it in the bag??)

Now I'll just sit tight and eat some potato chips and onion dip while awaiting the final score! :)

Update: the Sea Hawks crushed the Broncos.

Determining Timing: Yea or Nay?

This post is NOT about how to determine time-frames using the cards - there are plenty of great resources online and in print for those interested in experimenting. The intent of this post is to discuss whether providing time-frames is truly beneficial to people in the long run (and I, for the most part, feel that it is not).

This issue of timing has come up a lot in social networking forums recently. Is determining time-frames possible? Is it accurate? Is it appropriate? There are a million different "tried and true" methods that various readers swear by. Some may be more calibrated than others, some may show higher levels of accuracy. I'd say that most competent readers will say that it can be difficult to pin down precise timing in some cases - the future simply may not be that precisely pre-destined. (And isn't that something of a relief?)  I thought I'd outline my own thoughts about it, which explain why I find "when" questions to be unhelpful most of the time:

1) What if the topic of the "when" question never occurs? Once I received this question: "When will my future music videos make it to national television?" This question was posed by a young college student who wasn't actively engaged in music in any tangible way. Maybe the student would never end up in music at all. Maybe the student would never create music videos, let alone have the opportunity to publicize them via television. This is something of an extreme example, but the point is there, I hope. Perhaps a better question would be "What do I need to know about going into the music industry?" Questions like this make a lot of implicit assumptions about the future, which is problematic.

2) What if the client feels the event is predestined, and therefore doesn't put in the effort to manifest it? Example: a woman wants to know when she'll find a job, and the cards indicate a time frame. She now expects that the job will appear before her at a given point in time, and stops looking for work or submitting her resumes. Consequently she doesn't have any job prospects at all, and feels the reading was wrong. In this sense I feel that doing timings can serve to disempower clients by leading them to believe that their actions don't impact their future.

3) What if the client finds the determined time-frame to be highly discouraging? A man wants to know when he'll find the perfect girl to marry - he's ready to go, can't wait to have a family of his own…he just needs that ideal lady.  The cards determine that he will likely marry an excellent woman…in about 10 years. Instead of feeling excited, he's now forlorn at the thought of having to wait so long. How many important relationships might he give up, believing that none of them could be the "right" girl? What if he would have met the lady in one year, developed a wonderful partnership, and then decided not to marry for another 9 years? Who knows? They may not like the time-frame they're given, and it could have detrimental impact on the course of their future (not to mention the time-frame could be off!).

When potential clients ask me a "when" question, I encourage them to change their focus: perhaps to determine likelihoods of the event occurring, to a focus on how they can best prepare themselves, or even what perspectives or energies will be the greatest help to them moving forward. In rare instances I'm willing to give general time frames, usually qualified with a brief summary of the points listed above. I am okay with, and practice, many forms of predictive divination, however I feel at times that when questions are exclusively predictive or even more importantly, exclusively time-based, they tend to side-step the greatest gift that Tarot and other card systems have to offer - a way to understand yourself better, and to improve your life in a way that nurtures your power of self-determination and choice.

In the end I don't believe this issue revolves as much around whether timing is possible (it can be, and it can also be accurate), as it does around the potential impact, and unintended negative consequences, on clients' lives, which is an ethical consideration first and foremost.