Tarot Thursday Three: to Reverse, or Not to Reverse?

Here is another round of #tarotthursdaythree, hosted by Julia at Spiral Sea Tarot. Feel free to answer these on your own blog, and let me know so I can read your responses!

1) Reversals or nah?

Reversals (usually). I started to use them at the same time that I started doing email readings for strangers years ago. I found the added nuances that reversals provide to be indispensable.

Wild Unknown Tarot

2. If you could go back in time and give your novice self one piece of wisdom to fast track your tarot learning, what would it be?

I'm not sure that I believe in "fast tracking" the learning process. It's a process for a reason - the trips and stumbles are valuable teachers. The biggest hurdle for me was to come to trust the messages that I was seeing in the cards, without second-guessing myself or overthinking things. The root of that is fear, and that takes time, practice, and experience to overcome.

3. What is your go-to spread?

I don't actually have one! I like to keep readings small (1-3 cards), and when reading for myself I typically draw a single card. Three card reading positions are often: Issue/Do This/Don't Do This; Challenge/Advice/Outcome. Whether reading for myself or for others, I tend to craft spread positions to fit the situation and query, so it varies quite a bit.

Tarot Thursday Three: You Can't Please Em All

Here is another round of #tarotthursdaythree, hosted by Julia at Spiral Sea Tarot. Feel free to answer these on your own blog, and let me know so I can read your responses!

Question One

What was your first time like giving an in-person reading? Where were you? How did you feel? Spill the deets!

Hmmm... the first time I ever gave an in-person reading was when I was 14, to my sister, using my mother's Medicine Cards. And I won't count that, for all of those reasons! As an adult, I started to read for strangers online before I read for them in person, and the two contexts are quite different. Reading online offers the opportunity to conduct the reading in your own personal, quiet space, to ponder the cards at your leisure, and to compose your thoughts at your own pace, without the pressure of having to perform on the spot. That said, it takes a lot of time to write a reading up; sometimes it's nice to just be able to tell someone what you see instead. Email readings don't allow for that, and also limit the ability to engage with a client. That said, email readings are what I do most!

I was terrified when I did my first email reading. That's actually when I started using reversals. I laid the cards out and was immediately struck with desire for what I felt were the critically valuable subtleties of meaning that reversed cards provide. At any rate, the feedback was very positive, and I was so relieved. I will say, however, that despite all of the positive responses I received from clients over the many months following that initial reading, it took me ages to start to overcome the fear.

I was anxious (not terrified) the first time I did a "proper" in-person reading for someone, but it was a great experience, and I left feeling exhilarated. I was sitting at the person's kitchen table in Miami, and they had just discovered that I was a card reader. They were excited, and it was entirely unplanned (which probably augmented my nerves, but also prevented a deeper sort of fear from setting in!), but it went very well. It was also the first time that I read Lenormand for others. One of the questions I was asked was if a certain individual would have to go to jail for probation violation, and if so, if it would be less than a 6-month stint in jail. Talk about pressure. I pulled the cards, and I said, yes, and yes. And that is indeed what happened. That was as educational for me as it was informational for them. I started to think that perhaps I preferred face-to-face readings because it's quite lovely to interact with a client, to discuss the cards together, etc. But in the end, I just don't have the time for it, so my mainstay continues to be email readings, which are still deeply rewarding.

Wild Unknown Tarot

Question Two

Have you ever had a negative client response to one of your readings? How did they react and why? How did you respond back?

Of course! I don't believe that many card readers who have read for broad and diverse audiences have ever entirely escaped the occasional "difficult" client response (yes, that's a euphemism). Fortunately, out of the thousands of readings I've done, I can count the negative reactions on one hand - well, two fingers, to be precise. Interestingly, they were very similar people, despite being from opposite sides of the planet. I will preface this by saying that I approach all clients respectfully and kindly, and even when the cards are "rough," I never leave a reading on a negative note. No matter what the cards say, there is always room for growth, and there are always blessings to be found (Christiana Gaudet just wrote a great post about this).

The first of these experiences occurred toward the start of my "reading for strangers" career, and it left me utterly devastated. It was also a free reading that I offered for practice. The woman had been essentially rejected by her family members, was single and lonely, and having a hard time finding work. She wanted to know if she'd find employment soon. The cards reflected her difficulties with finding a job where she could apply her skill-set, and suggested that she try to cast a wider net, to consider options that weren't necessarily in her chosen field, and to look into short-term certificate programs that might help increase her prospects. She was not happy with that, and accused me of giving her entirely worthless advice. She also said that she really wanted to know "when" a job would fall into her lap, and I hadn't answered that at all. I felt really bad, and told her that while I believed time predictions to be hard to accurately pin down, I could try to give her that. She calmed a bit, and agreed. I interpreted the card that came up to mean that she would locate work within a 3-month window of time. She came back with even more vitriol than before, and said that I had robbed her of all hope, and that she might as well just kill herself already. Yes, she did say that. And she ended with telling me never to communicate with her again. It's probably no surprise that I sobbed for hours, and felt the weight of that experience for many days to come. I knew I had not done anything wrong, and that she was in a "dark" place, but it wasn't a huge comfort. However it was a good growing experience. You can try your hardest, have the purest of intentions and the kindest disposition, and you still can't please em all (also - it's not always about you).

The second was a woman who was lonely, and similarly had been pushed away by close family members. She had asked about the future of an internet relationship she was developing with a fellow quite a number of years her junior. The cards suggested that she was carrying some pain from the past that needed to be released, and that the relationship was likely to be a bit unstable - though not without potential. The cards were mainly about self-healing, and encouraged her to find small ways to focus on exploring joy in her day-to-day life (taking a short vacation, or even a staycation, rearranging her furniture, getting a haircut, etc.) Honestly, I knew from the moment I sent the reading that it wasn't what she wanted to hear. She needed me to say that this was the man of her dreams, that her life would be saved by the relationship. She didn't want to hear about healing. I anxiously awaited her reply, which, when it finally came, was far worse than I had ever imagined. She berated me. She told me that I was a terrible reader. She accused me of being trite and even condescending. She used several choice swear words. She said she had never been more remorseful at having spent money before, and that she wished she had never ordered the reading. She said that she was too miserable to find joy. The thing is, as hard as it was to read her words, I actually "got" that. And because of my previous experience a couple of years before, I was more able to detach myself from her tirade, and be compassionate. To be too miserable to find joy. That is heartbreaking. And I could understand, in that light, how she might read my words as being trite, despite that not being my intention. I wasn't able to help her in the way that she needed. I replied and told her that I was extremely sorry that she didn't find any value in what I had offered her. I told her that contrary to what she had expressed, I was indeed very sincere in wanting to help and support her. And I offered her a refund. She became immediately calm and said, "Yes, please." I sent her money back immediately, and later I offered up some prayers for her. Her email to me was unfair and unnecessarily disrespectful, yes, but I recognized that she was truly and deeply unhappy, and I didn't take it personally.

Question Three

Have you ever been challenged by a skeptic regarding tarot? What was your experience like?

No. The closest I've come was once when I was taking an "intuitive Tarot" class and the instructor had invited in some acquaintances for us to practice with. I read for a woman's partner, and he was a total stone wall. The woman told me that he was generally pretty critical of all things divinatory (which I thought was ironic and probably not entirely true since he had volunteered to be there), but that she felt the readings were helpful for him anyway. It was a pretty powerful experience. The reading was potent and lovely, and the man never once uttered a peep! (But his lady sent me some smiles and deep nods along the way!).

Dreaming of a Tarot Card

Two nights ago I dreamt about the 5 of Cups from the Wild Unknown Tarot. In my dream I saw a white horse with its head lowered. We were alone in a large, slightly greyed space. I knew that it was sad, though its expression seemed benign. And I also knew that this was the horse from the 5 of Cups. I thought to myself, "I don't think the horse in that card had tears in its eyes." At that moment, my dream horse began to cry. I wrapped my arms around its neck and held it to my chest to comfort it.

The next day I decided to pull that card out of the deck - I haven't read with the Wild Unknown in a while, and wanted to refresh myself on the details of the 5 of Cups. As I was flipping through, I saw the Chariot, which gave me pause - it is also a white horse, and the only other horse in the entire deck. The Chariot also happens to be a "card of the moment" for me, and after having just blogged about it a couple of days ago, the symbolism was far from lost on me.

Let the dark mountain shake to the thunder 

Where the wild horses trample the fern,

Let the deep vales re-echo and wonder, 

When, like an eddy, they circle and turn! 

Watch the lithe motion 

Run free as an ocean,

Never has man laid a hand on a head: 

Never a halter 

Has bid a step falter,

Never a crest bent down to be led!

-M. Gilmore

Memorize That Shit

Or don't.

Card readers often talk about the "best methods" for learning to read Tarot competently. Most recently I've been seeing a lot of internet chatter about how taking an academic approach (often associated with memorization) to learning card meanings is not effective, while using strictly "intuitive hits" from card images as a starting point is best. 

The reality is that everyone is different, thus there is no single best way to approach learning the cards. What works for me may not work as well for you. Fortunately, there's something out there for everyone. 

Wild Unknown Tarot; K. Krans

Some aspiring card readers have a hard time memorizing card meanings, and at times feel that it puts them at a disadvantage when it comes to reading Tarot. In language learning, there is a concept called the "affective filter," which in essence says that the more anxious a student is, the less knowledge they will be able to process and acquire. For people who have anxieties around formal study, or who have convinced themselves that they must memorize all card meanings before attempting to give readings, it may be helpful to understand that beginning the process with an intuitive approach is perfectly appropriate. Rather than focusing on pre-determined meanings, they may pay attention to the images depicted on each card and use those pictures to as intuitive triggers that can help to convey messages.  Over time they may choose to pay increasing attention to numerical meanings, to elemental associations, and eventually may even choose to study the various "traditional" card meanings. 

Others who enjoy academia may find it a pleasurable experience to make lists of all 78 cards, their meanings, perhaps even creating symbol charts for the Major and Minor Arcana. If they enjoy memorization, if they enjoy envisioning the Tarot as a giant archetypal puzzle to be explored, then this may be a powerful method to employ. Perhaps after they feel generally secure in the meanings for each card, suit, numeric series, they will begin to experiment with the intuitive approach. 

In the end, it is a combination of these two basic approaches that will lead to the most balanced and integrated reader (and reading!).

Yes, card meanings can be dynamic: a single card that highlights one energy in one reading, may underscore quite another energy in a different reading. But the Tarot system wasn't developed in a vacuum, and the traditional meanings provide a valuable infrastructure that can help fill out intuitive readings. 

In language learning, we teach rules, but eventually the students learn that just about every rule has one or two exceptions (they hate that part!). Teaching is incremental for a reason. This is why we call learning a "process."

If you are turned off by memorization, don't feel boxed in to that approach - start with listening to what the card images tell you, and work from there. 

But if you are the academic type, don't let anyone tell you that it's not the best way: go ahead a memorize that shit!

10 of Swords: To Be Willing

The 10 of Swords in the Wild Unknown Tarot shows a bull pierced with blades. Despite the gruesome appearance, none plunge deeply enough to kill this massive creature; at most they cause distracting pain. But one sword has gouged out this bull's eyes, preventing him from seeing his surroundings, and robbing from him the gift of perspective.

K. Krans - Wild Unknown Tarot

When in the trenches of life's most potent challenges it can be hard to understand the bigger picture. When your external sight feels useless, perhaps it is a gift wrapped in difficult packaging, urging you to look inward instead, to find the grace in the pain, and the light that is always available in the darkness. "This too shall pass..." but not before offering an opportunity for deep growth. To be willing to receive it is enough.

New Moon Spread: Earth, Air and Fire

Today is the New Moon and for the Instagram challenge hosted by @violetauraphoto the theme for day 9 is "Dark/Shadow," so I've decided to do a New Moon reading. Normally I limit these to two cards: what is waning, and what is waxing. However for today, in addition to using three decks, I've added a third card:

Card 1: What energy is waning? Mother of Pentacles (Wild Unknown Tarot)
Card 2: Where/Who am I now, on the dark moon? Scathach, 6 of Air (Dark Goddess Tarot)
Card 3: What energy is waxing? Mars (Cosmos Oracle)

I asked my four year old son to choose which deck to use for which position, and I have to say that I admire his choices ;-) I'm also glad for them because my first pull was Scathach, a card that appeared for me in a reading I did last week, and it was affirming to see it again here.

So where, who, am I now, on this dark moon? Scathach is a warrior goddess who encourages us to step up to the plate, to embrace the tasks set before us, to live up to our capabilities, to show our worth. She encourages us to open up to new experiences, to learn, to ask questions and accept guidance - especially when that guidance will help us to tackle our responsibilities. Scathach reminds me of my fundamental ferocity, that when I apply myself I can move mountains.

I certainly recognize this energy in my life at this time. In my leadership role at work everyday brings something new, a puzzle to solve, a project to start, a dilemma to sort out. I often feel like I'm creating my path as I walk it; the road materializes with each step I take. And while it can be challenging at times, I am enjoying it immensely. I thrive on the complexity, on the layers, on the combination of finite details and large-scale vision. And while I love the autonomy, I also highly value the guidance of my mentor and boss, a woman I trust and respect, and who has much to offer in terms of growing into my new director-skin.

The Mother of Pentacles symbolizes the energy waning at this time, and this has a several connections: this past week has been the first week back to work and school following an extended holiday spent in family. The kids are busy with school work once again, and that precious period of constant togetherness has reached an end, for now. The kids have also been sick, so during the second week of break most of our time was spent relaxing at home, sneezing, coughing, and drinking loads of tea. Now the last couple sickies are on the mend. And in a more global sense, this Mother represents my newly expanding ability to provide materially for my family, which has been deeply satisfying.

Finally, Mars shows a time of increased energy and activity. I see myself here as I tackle some important new projects at work, host the first team meeting of the new year, and continue to tap into creative possibility as I look for solutions, fresh ways to build and improve on previous systems and procedures. With Mars, energy begets energy - the more possibilities I uncover, the more impulse I feel to keep digging. And yet Mars is also my husband, and I know that in the next couple of weeks ahead he will be focused on making some important decisions and plans for his own work as well.

I like that this line of three cards from three different decks shows three dominant figures - that is striking - and I like how the docility of the doe moves into the strong male and female warrior energies of Scathach and Mars. I am also intrigued by the presence of these elements, and the way they move from the calm stability of earth, to the intellectual engagement of air, and finally on to the burning creative force of fire.

May your own Dark Moon provide deep insights for rumination!