Ceridwen, Fylgja, and the Golden Horse

Last weekend I had one of those dreams that feels more like a visitation than a true dream:

I was standing in what appeared to be the back yard area of my parents' house (though it was nothing like their home in real life), and I was alone. The back edge of the yard was lined with forest, and suddenly out of the trees came a golden horse. He walked down into the yard, right up to me. I stood there (probably gawking a bit) and thought, "How did you get here?" And the horse said (our communication was entirely telepathic, so these were thought-forms as opposed to actual words): 

"You summoned me." 

He seemed to ask me to climb onto his back which made me feel slightly awkward - the idea of riding a talking horse felt wrong somehow. But he encouraged me, and so I did. Once I was there I felt a bit self-conscious, and worried that I was too heavy for him, but he "told" me that he was perfectly able to carry me. We rode around a bit, and I recall that at one point we went into the house. I remember thinking that my parents would be quite shocked to see me riding a horse inside! We departed again. And that was it. 

Throughout the rest of that night, throughout all of the other dreamscapes, I kept repeating to myself, "The golden horse." And when I woke up, I was still feeling deeply moved by the experience. As with dreams of other messengers that I've had - particularly ravens - I felt like the golden horse was a palpable consciousness dwelling within me. I looked up horse symbolism online but nothing felt quite right. The rune Ehwaz came to my mind, as it literally translates to "horse," and represents a harmonious bond between two beings (horse and rider, married couple, etc.) as well as movement and progress. A resource I consulted also mentioned the connection that Ehwaz has to the fylgja, a Norse concept of the fetch, or a sort of animal manifestation/aspect of the soul. This immediately resonated in that though the horse in my dream was obviously separate from me physically, I "felt" him within me. I was mesmerized by his telling me that I had called him. 

This morning's draw from the Celtic Shaman's deck (John Matthews and Chesca Potter)

Later that afternoon we packed our things and headed to the coast to spend the afternoon at the beach. As I was searching for a sack to put my relatively new Celtic Shaman's Oracle in, I saw my Magical Menagerie deck that I rarely work with. Since it is full of animals I decided to bring it along. Later, while lounging by the ocean waves, I took the Magical Menagerie deck out and began to shuffle it, while thinking about the identity of the golden horse. A card flipped out and landed face down in the sand. I picked it up and blew the sand off, and when I saw what it was I laughed aloud: Fetch. Hmm! 

In the week or so leading up to my dream I had done a few readings with the Celtic Shaman's oracle, and the Lady of the Cauldron (Ceridwen) had appeared for me numerous times. I knew she carried an important message for me, but I was struggling to dig into what it meant beyond themes of "inspiration, wisdom, transformation, magic." I haven't studied Celtic or Welsh mythology much, and don't have a firm or profound grasp on this powerful goddess. The morning after my dream I pulled some cards about it and there was Ceridwen again. 

I've done a couple of Tarot readings on this topic as well, but I still feel like I'm groping around in the dark for the answer. The cards made some sense, and yet I can't shake the sensation of skirting around the heart of the matter. And so I've been "sitting in it" for days. 

This morning I chose to pull a couple of "cards of the day" from the Celtic Shaman's deck, and nearly choked when I flipped over Ceridwen and the Horse. "The golden horse!" I practically shouted out in surprise. My daughter looked at me questioningly, and I explained my little saga. 

I'm clearly not "done" with Ceridwen or my golden horse just yet. I wish I could end this post with a dose of deep and insightful wisdom about the significance of my experience, but I don't have the answer. What I can say is that I have a lot more work to do!

Do you have any thoughts about it? If so, please feel free to share them in the comments!

Dreaming with Heimdallr

My daughter recently gifted me a gorgeous rhombus of Iceland spar (clear calcite) for an early Yule present. It was very touching, both because it was such a lovely and thoughtful item, and because she herself was so moved by the experience. She recently started her first job and this is the first year that she has been able to shop for people on her own - there is a certain power in that sort of self-determination and self-sufficiency. 

This calcite has been roosting next to my head as I sleep every night for nearly two weeks now. Since its arrival I've been having some very interesting dreams, almost on par with what I experienced with apophyllite a couple of years ago!

Iceland spar in the sunlight

Last night was no different. Though my dreams were extensive, there is one that stands out in my mind. In the dream I was with many other people - mostly women from what I recall - in what was essentially an observation deck or tower. However rather than a typical observation deck that you might find in the mountains, it was up in outer space, at a considerable distance from the Earth. It was meant to allow people to view our planet. As we were looking through the blackness of space toward Earth we noticed that there was a rainbow encircling it. A woman seemed to make a connection to Norse mythology, and said, "Hey! That is sort of like...." and she tried to pronounce a Norse word that she couldn't quite recall - but she was on the right track. I said, "It is Heimdallr!" Then my mother was there, and she asked me what that meant. I started to tell her about Heimdallr and how he protects the Earth, and as I spoke I was so overcome with emotion that I started to cry, and couldn't keep speaking. 

Slightly cheesy (but free) image that depicts my dreamscape (albeit a bit cartoonishly!)

Now, in mythology, Thor tends to claim the role of "protector of Midgard." Heimdallr is the Guardian of Bifröst, the flaming rainbow bridge that connects Midgard with Asgard. He will blow his horn, the Gjallarhorn, to warn the gods and goddesses of the start of Ragnarok (the end of the world of gods and humankind), and Bifröst will ultimately break when the Jötunn arrive. Thus begins the end (that ultimately leads back to a new beginning). So in this sense, Heimdallr's crucial position can also be considered one of protection. 

In my dream, Bifröst was not so much a "bridge" as a ring around our planet. Beyond that, I have no interpretations for either the dream or the manifestation of Heimdallr (I never saw a human-like image - I saw the rainbow, and the rainbow was the essence of Heimdallr). But it was fascinating and moving nonetheless, and something I'll be pondering in the coming days. 

A Midnight Meeting with my Grandmother

A few nights ago I dreamt of my maternal grandmother - or, perhaps it's more accurate to say that she came to visit me in my sleep. It wasn't a long dream, per se, but it was poignant, particularly because it is the first time that I've ever dreamt of Dorothy, who died when I was five years old.

In the dream her figure was not solid, but ethereal; only partly there, like a spirit. I stood in front of her and wrapped my arms around hazy form saying, "I never had the chance to hug you, as an adult." I asked her if she had any messages for my mother, and she gave me two. Unfortunately, upon waking I couldn't remember the second. I did recall the majority of the first, and when I wrote to my mom to tell her, she replied that it was the same message that her morning reading had given her. That was nice to hear.

I pulled a few cards to explore this experience:

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot

1: My grandmother's presence

Page of Cups. A perfect symbol of a message-bearer, a speaker through the liminal realms of dreamtime.

2: Her essential message to me

9 of Pentacles. I felt this to be both encouragement and acknowledgement of where I am, and where I'm headed. I felt that she was telling me that she's proud of me.

3: Additional energy

2 of Cups. Love.

Dreaming of a Tarot Card

Two nights ago I dreamt about the 5 of Cups from the Wild Unknown Tarot. In my dream I saw a white horse with its head lowered. We were alone in a large, slightly greyed space. I knew that it was sad, though its expression seemed benign. And I also knew that this was the horse from the 5 of Cups. I thought to myself, "I don't think the horse in that card had tears in its eyes." At that moment, my dream horse began to cry. I wrapped my arms around its neck and held it to my chest to comfort it.

The next day I decided to pull that card out of the deck - I haven't read with the Wild Unknown in a while, and wanted to refresh myself on the details of the 5 of Cups. As I was flipping through, I saw the Chariot, which gave me pause - it is also a white horse, and the only other horse in the entire deck. The Chariot also happens to be a "card of the moment" for me, and after having just blogged about it a couple of days ago, the symbolism was far from lost on me.

Let the dark mountain shake to the thunder 

Where the wild horses trample the fern,

Let the deep vales re-echo and wonder, 

When, like an eddy, they circle and turn! 

Watch the lithe motion 

Run free as an ocean,

Never has man laid a hand on a head: 

Never a halter 

Has bid a step falter,

Never a crest bent down to be led!

-M. Gilmore

A Raven Came Visiting

During the month of July I have been exploring Odin and Loki through the method of posing questions and pulling Tarot or oracle cards. This has been a personal journey so I have not posted much about it, though I did recently share some thoughts about day one on Instagram.

Yesterday evening as I was going to bed I carved out space to draw cards before sleeping. I don't have a list of pre-created questions, rather I've been allowing them to occur to me naturally, and usually in the same moment that I sit down to shuffle. Last night I asked: "Loki, how can we best work together?" I drew the Hermit, inverted (the second time this card has appeared in connection to him, in fact!). When I asked the same question for Odin, I drew the World. Generally I've been using the Giants Tarot for this exercise - sometimes Das Germanische Götterorakel. Last night I was drawn to use the Prisma Visions Tarot*. When I drew the World, I was immediately pulled to the center of the card - an eye gazing outward.

The World has some connections with Odin: it's been correlated to Odin's identity as sky god, sitting on his throne overlooking all of the worlds. The RWS World image shows a woman "dancing" - her legs are in the "number 4" position which mirror that of the Hanged Man, another card very closely aligned with Odin (his sacrifice on Yggdrasil to earn the wisdom of the runes). A few days ago I pulled a card asking about the nature of the prime divine force (some call it God or Goddess, others Great Mystery, Olodumare, Allah). I drew the World. Highlighting concepts of synergy, completion, wholeness, integration, and even travel, it was a fitting and beautiful card to see. So then, to pull it again here for Odin was interesting and thought-provoking, to say the least.

After pondering these cards for a short time I turned out the light and went to sleep, and I had this dream:

I was standing in a mostly empty bedroom on the second floor of my mother's house, and it was daytime. A large black bird came to the windowsill and I couldn't tell whether it was a crow or raven, though its beak shape led me to think it was the latter. As I watched it, it called to me. It didn't speak in a human voice - it was definitely a bird-like utterance - but it clearly said, "Come here." At the same time it nodded its head toward the window, and the combination of its voice and gesture was an unmistakeable beckoning. I walked to the windowsill and saw that he (the bird felt masculine) had brought me an eyeball. I was supposed to eat it, and naturally this was slightly off-putting. I picked up the eye to examine it, and found that it wasn't really human; perhaps animal or some other creature. I carried it with me to a convenience store where I thought it might be easiest to simply swallow it down quickly like a pill. I couldn't find a drinking fountain, but I did eventually find a sink with a short faucet that was partially hidden. When I released some of the liquid into a cup it was orange-colored. I thought it was rusty water, and poured it down the drain. But then I realized that it was hot, and that it was actually tea, not rusty water. So I refilled my cup. I carried it around the store not consuming it because I knew it was too hot to drink down the eyeball with - it would scald me and the eyeball would sit in my mouth longer than I'd like. Eventually the dream ended and I don't recall having consumed the eye, though it was certainly on my agenda. 

When I woke up I felt like the dead center of my head was buzzing and tickling. I felt like the raven was inside of me. For the first time in ages, I immediately pulled out my journal to write it all down. As I was doing so, I remembered that back in February I'd dreamt of a raven or crow, and had mentioned it in one of my blog entries at the time. I had written:

"I was visited by such a bird in my sleep. It was large in size and I only recall being uncertain if it was a crow or raven, but based on its beak shape I'd been fairly certain that it was the latter. Perhaps it was a messenger."

Hm! That sounds awfully familiar! It was almost identical to what I'd written this time about the beak shape and the bird species identification. I remember that dream because nothing really happened in it. I was in a room in a building at night, and the bird flew in through an open window. I recall that it was quite large - larger than what would be considered "normal" in real life. And that was all. No communication, no other actions took place. It was just a fragment in time. But having had this dream last night, there seems to be a correlation, a developing thread. I know something more about this bird now - I can feel its essence, even now as I think of him. He spoke to me, as a guide or messenger would do. He brought me an eye!

Ravens and eyes are two of Odin's symbols and figure large in mythology. I know that there is significant meaning here. Several hours later my crown is still buzzing away.



*Art by James R. Eads

Exploring Moldavite

Several months ago I was studying a comprehensive book on crystals when I read about a funny green tektite called "moldavite." I'd never heard of it prior, but the description of its metaphysical attributes was intriguing. It's often called a "stone of transformation" that will open and clear the heart chakra, and it's said to be a powerful aid in meditation and dreamwork. Most interestingly I had read that even people who are not particularly "sensitive" to crystal energies often feel a variety of distinct sensations when holding moldavite for the first time, ranging from headaches, hot flashes, and rosy cheeks, to deep calm, and even stomach aches.

Iolite, Moldavite, and Blue Kyanite

Needless to say I was curious!

I was also somewhat skeptical, but in the best way possible. I absolutely love working with stones and crystals, and find their influences to be both subtle and powerful. Most of my most notable experiences with stones have come about quite by accident. For instance, the first time I saw black tourmaline, I was entirely mesmerized by its velvety blackness, and I remember my crown tingling when I held a piece of it. It simply felt so good, like getting a deep tissue massage on the soul. Later I read about it and was very interested to find that it was a very popular stone for use in protection and cleansing. Years later I still fantasize about taking a black tourmaline bath, and holding a handful of the stone is just as soothing as the first time.

Another time, I was dealing with some emotional turmoil, and one morning I felt an urge to throw a piece of selenite in my pocket, though that would not have been my intellectual choice. Later that day I remember commenting to someone about how calm and at peace I felt - it was notable, given the circumstances. When I decided to research selenite's properties I found that it's known to be a very powerful balm for emotional upheaval.

Then there was the time I was gifted a clear apophyllite pyramid and was told that it was good for clearing the crown chakra and opening a channel to communication with guides, etc. That night I decided to put it under my pillow and had the wildest, most intense dream ride ever. When I looked up "apophyllite and dreaming" I found that indeed it is also known to stimulate dream activity and recall.

I describe all of these experiences to make a point: my understanding of the potency of stones, crystals, minerals etc., has primarily come via personal experiences first and foremost, later followed up and affirmed by research (usually spurred by the experience I'd had).

So reading about moldavite was certainly interesting, but I took the "see it to believe it" approach. This was only underscored after speaking briefly with another crystal lover who owned some moldavite. When asked about her experience with it, her reply was, "Meh. I got nothing from it. It's pretty, though." The general sense I got from her overall demeanor was that she thought the excitement about moldavite was mostly (if not all) hype.

The next time I went to a local crystal shop I looked and looked and looked for moldavite but couldn't spot it anywhere. Finally I asked a shop clerk and she explained that they keep the moldavite behind their glass counter (ah hah!) and she proceeded to pull out a small box full of quarter-sized pieces. I asked her how much it cost and she said, "These are about $50. We also have some larger pieces that are around $120, but we price it out by the gram, so it varies." Whoa. That's some expensive rock. Needless to say, I passed.

A month or so later I returned to the shop and after making some stone selections I went to check out. While at the counter I casually inquired about the moldavite again, and once again was told that the smallest pieces were around $50, however they were ordering some smaller sizes which would come into the store in a couple of weeks. I made a mental note of that, however a week later I found myself at another metaphysical shop (the only other in my general area) and asked them about moldavite as well. It turned out that they not only had the $50 and $150 sizes, but they had a box of tiny moldavite chips (perhaps a bit smaller than a dime) that were priced at $10 each. Score!

Tiny Moldavite

While there the store clerk asked if I wanted to hold one of the medium-sized pieces, and I consented. She explained the various reactions people often have as she laid it in my palm. At first, I felt nothing at all as I stood there, palm open and facing upward. A moment later my hand started to feel quite warm, and I began to feel currents of heat move through my body, starting at my feet and moving upward toward my head. It was almost startling. I remember saying to the clerk, "It's hot! I'm getting heat flashes." And she said that that was very similar to her own experience. So she sealed up a tiny piece in a very tiny plastic bag, and I left.

In the car, I took the little moldavite piece out and held it in my left hand as I started the car and drove home. It almost felt like it was burning a hole in my palm (though not so uncomfortable that I had to put it down), and this time I started to feel both heat in my hand, and something akin to shivers through my body - like cold chills. After I put the stone away, the hot sensation in my palm remained for hours before fading away. Hmm... perhaps there was something more to this than just hype! Later in the evening I did an internet search for "moldavite and chills" but came up empty handed. There was plenty on moldavite and heat, but nothing on cold.

That night I placed the moldavite into a muslin pouch with a Lemurian seed crystal point and tucked it under my pillow. I've slept with this crystal combo every night for the past two or three weeks, and every single night my dream experience is the same: from start to finish I have a very full night of complex dreams, and when I awake they slowly start to fade until I'm left with a few vivid bits and pieces. There is no variation in this - no nights with nebulous and hard-to-recall dreams, no nights with stunningly clear, stick-to-the-ribs dreams... nothing "typical" per se. No apophyllite dreams, but most definitely a very defined, unique, and consistent pattern.

Moldavite pieces and a Lemurian seed crystal

The first night that I slept with moldavite under my pillow I experienced the deepest, most calming sleep of my adult life. I was utterly worry-free, my body was entirely relaxed. It was amazing (and I haven't experienced that since). After getting up and about my day (with moldavite hanging out in my pocket) I started to feel a bit "off" energetically and the only word that seemed to fit was "agitated." I wasn't sure if I was getting sick, or if it was allergies, or if I was in a bad mood. It clicked in my mind that this might be moldavite-related when I was leaving a voice message for my sister and when I tried to explain how I was feeling, I said, "I feel itchy and agitated like a snake shedding its skin - like I just want to get it off and get on with it." Those words - "a snake shedding its skin" - gave me pause as I recalled that moldavite was a stone of intense transformation. But hey, maybe it had nothing at all to do with the stone in my pocket! I felt that way for about two days before it faded away.

Eventually those initial sensations I had with my little moldavite piece didn't seem to occur anymore. I could hold it without feeling much heat. Was it still "working"? One afternoon I was in the first metaphysical shop (not the one where I'd purchased my moldavite) and was sitting on the floor examining some jasper when I heard the manager discussing crystals with a new employee. She gave the woman a piece of moldavite to hold, and the woman (apparently just as startled as I was my first time) exclaimed quite a bit about the heat moving through her hand. The manager said, "Yeah, it's always intense the first time, but eventually you won't notice it anymore." I latched on to that last statement, and later when I went to check out I asked her about it. The new clerk told me about how amazing the sensation was, and described the same feeling I'd had in the car weeks before: heat in the hand, and cold chills throughout the body. That was interesting. I told the manager that I'd had a small piece for a while but wasn't getting the same intense response as I did originally. She said that in her experience, and after speaking to many others who have worked with this stone, that intense experience occurs when the moldavite first meshes with your energy field, but then after it does its initial vibratory work, it settles in to something like a "maintenance mode" and is subtler moving forth. That made sense.

A week later I ended up picking up a second small piece of moldavite, and I knew immediately that I wanted to take it it home because almost immediately after placing it in my palm I could feel a pinpoint of heat in my skin. Perhaps each stone carries a unique vibratory rate that requires its own adjustment period. Not sure.

The most notable thing about this second piece was that the following day I was starting to feel fidgety again, and that "agitation" crept into my limbs. It was exactly the same sensation I'd had when I had purchased my previous piece (though I never did experience that blissfully peaceful sleep with the second one, unfortunately!). A couple of days later it faded away.

As time progresses I notice some underlying impulses toward evolution and change. I can identify these in retrospect, though as they have unfolded I haven't immediately recognized the pattern or attributed it to anything in particular.

I've found myself enmeshed in what I might describe as "transformative thought" of late - existential musings based on where I've come from and where I'm at now:

• When I die, will I be satisfied with what I've accomplished? 
• Will I have any regrets? 
• Am I settling? 
• Am I living in alignment with my highest truths? 
• Is this job I have (as grateful as I am for it, and for all it is teaching me) what I really want to be doing? 
• Could I be making a more significant, beneficial impact on humanity in another profession? 
• Am I honoring and making sufficient use of my talents? 
• How might I increase my sense of freedom and personal agency? 

Whew! Questions that are important, and not for the faint of heart. And these are very "moldavite" questions when I think about it.

I've been learning to "trust" more completely, especially in terms of the metaphysical realm; I've had quite clear moments of understanding which have shown me the source of certain anxieties and doubts. This has been extremely beneficial, welcome, and rather surprising, to be honest. By acknowledging and identifying the root cause of a certain automatic response, it's possible to open the space necessary to change it.

All in all, it's a pretty interesting little gem!

Black Panther: Knowing the Dark

Two nights ago I had a vivid dream where I was alone in the house I grew up in. As I looked out of the dining room window I saw a massive black panther emerge from some trees along the property line. I was a bit shocked as it's not a typical thing to see in a suburban neighborhood, so I decided to call 911 on the nearest device handy to me at the time: a fork (gotta love dreams!). I was worried that it might not have reception, being a fork and all, but was pleasantly surprised to hear an operator's voice on the other end, asking me to describe my emergency. I explained the situation and she said, "Oh, they're looking for that panther [in such and such a place] but I'll tell them to head over to your area." I encouraged her to have them come as soon as possible. I felt that the panther was good, and I knew it was female. However I had an instinctual fear that it would attack me if I went outside, and in fact I felt that it was trying to find me, in particular.

Photo Credit: Shaani Bawa

After I got off the phone I walked up to the window when suddenly the panther came racing toward me and stood, face almost touching the window pane, staring fiercely at me from the other side. I was worried that it might break the glass and jump in to me. I decided the safest thing to do would be to go to the second floor of the house and into a bedroom with a lockable door. So I did. Shortly after entering the empty, sunlight-filled bedroom, I saw the door knob start to twist and turn. I thought that the panther must have found a way into the house and was trying to open the door with her nose. I ran over to the handle and realized that in fact I'd forgotten to lock it, so I did so. Then I started making wild cat growling noises at the door, to see if she would reply so that I could confirm that it was her. When I heard growling noises coming back at me through the door, I knew it wasn't the panther; it sounded like my son Gabriel having fun with me. I thought I should make sure it was him, and then get him in the room as fast as possible, to safety. Then the dream ended.

Medicine Cards

The next day I was exhilarated by the dream and the black panther. I felt very drawn to her, that she was there for a special purpose. Rather than feeling the fear from my dream, I was thirsting for connection. I did some research on black panthers, and found that they are deeply symbolic of feminine power, mysticism, death and rebirth, and working through fear. They also have a strong association with the moon, which is fitting for me in so many ways, of late. I knew that the panther in my dream symbolized the changes I'm experiencing now, and encouraged me to face the fear of impending transitions. In my dream I was afraid that she would eat me up, even though my intuition told me that she was good and kind. That afternoon I pulled some Medicine Cards, and what should be the underlying energy but....Black Panther! I placed her on my bóveda (altar) which is where she currently resides, front and center.

A bit later the mail came and delivered my new Navigators Tarot of the Mystic SEA deck, and I decided to sit outside and enjoy the late afternoon breeze while I flipped through each card. When I came to Judgment (one of my favorite cards in any deck) I was amazed to see none other than Black Panther! In this image a person sits upon a low table, deep in thought. Above him there is a line of faces, all belonging to this yellow figure, perhaps different aspects of his identity, or different phases of his life. To the left a magenta man looks deeply into one of the faces, while to the right a blue woman looks startled by another of them. This strikes me as the fear and attraction inherent in change, particularly when we are about to leap into a brand new phase of life, or embrace a new part of ourselves that we've not fully explored or recognized before. At the apex of the arch a black panther head gazes upward, a fiery head in its mouth: a transformation is taking place, a new Self is being born. At the feet of the man lies a cage holding a red fruit, and the door hangs open. As he realizes who he is he will lift his precious offering out of the cage and share it with the world.

Navigators Tarot of the Mystic SEA

Perhaps Black Panther does want to eat me - eat up who I was in order to allow me to become something new. Perhaps my own fiery rebirth will come from the mouth of this dear, fierce guardian. As Ina Woolcott wrote about the black panther: "They can show us how to welcome the dark and rouse the light within it."

Our Creator's Image

A few nights ago I had a dream where I found a box in a very well-lit closet. I knew the box held something like a statue or figure that represented Olodumare (God, Goddess, Creator, however you like). I was curious as to how the representation might look, and when I turned the box around I saw different compartments that each held a perfectly detailed model of one of the human senses, made out of some sort of white material. For instance, one was the inside of a mouth, one was an ear.

At first I was confused.

And then I was moved.

The thought floating through my dreamscape was that Olodumare gave us our senses that we might perceive him/her. Simple as that.

And when I thought about it, it was perfect. Olodumare, God, the Creator.... takes no human form. It's not about physical appearances but how we experience the divine spirit that flows through all things.

Image Credit

Beholding a spectacular sunset that leaves you profoundly thankful....

Feeling a soft breeze on your skin, while simultaneously hearing it rush between tree leaves....

Seeing the sunlight filter through grass, delicately.

The sound of the ocean waves,
the chirp of young birds,
the laughter of children.

The way the river courses over stones, slate and tan,
paper-thin filaments of ice stretching across a window pane.

Gently curling wisps of incense smoke rising ever upward.

The bright reds, oranges, blues, and whites of fire dancing,
piercing the velvet blackness of a dark night.

The scent of rain falling on dusty earth,

and on and on and on.......

Apophyllite Dreams

Dreams have always been important to me. For as long as I can remember, every time I had a vivid, powerful dream, I would write it down - these are the dreams that feel important, that deserve attention and investigation; there is a message there. This does not mean that I've always been ace at remembering all of my dreams. I, like most people, have experienced long periods of time where I either have felt that I haven't dreamt at all, or I only remember a small fragment of a dream, or I remember the essence, but upon going about my morning routine it fades like morning mist in the sun.

I have had what people sometimes call "prophetic" dreams. That sounds glorious, but to me a prophetic dream simply means that you've been clued in to something that is likely to occur, or already is occurring, in real life. I once had a very important, yet rather mundane, prophetic dream about my husband's credit card! Many pregnant women have prophetic dreams about the children developing in their wombs. They are a special sort of dream to have, but that doesn't mean they have to be earth-shattering in regards to the implications of their message.

Dreaming; Image from Creative Commons

I've also had dreams that convey important messages in symbol. In other words, they may be a reflection of something I'm experiencing, a clarification of a feeling, or perhaps my higher self knocking me upside the head. Whatever the source, these dreams speak much like Tarot does - in metaphor. For instance I recall the only dream I've ever hard that's caused me to wake up sobbing: when I was pregnant with my middle child, I dreamt that my oldest had died. I was devastated and heart broken, but the dream was simply symbolizing my deep sadness at the sense of losing the one-on-one relationship that I'd developed with my oldest over the course of seven years. My excitement and anticipation regarding my new little one was balanced by the feeling that I was somehow losing my first child. It was good to recognize that feeling and also to learn, over time, that my relationship with my older daughter was not lost or diminished at all - it was simply transformed.

Apophyllite crystals

A few months ago I served as the beta-reader for Jenna Matlin's really well-done eBook on Tarot reading at festivals and fairs. As a "thank you" she sent me a very cool gift: two pouches of "chakra stones." In the crown chakra bag I found a crystal I'd never heard of before: apophyllite. The accompanying card said that this crystal was great for connecting to higher vibrational energies, and for communication with spirit energy. Sounded good to me! I stuck it under my pillow that very same night feeling that it would be good to keep it within my vibrational field. I had no idea what I was in for.

I woke the next morning feeling like I had been to a quadruple-feature film at the theater. I remembered every dream I had all night long, and let me tell you - I apparently pack 'em in back to back. It was striking and I thought, "If that was caused by the stone under my pillow, then that's the fastest working, most potent crystal I've ever encountered!" That day I did an online search about apophyllite and sure enough I found that several sites list it as being conducive to dream recall and lucid dreaming!

This all started a month ago and the dreaming experience that I had that first night has become the norm. Not only do I remember my dreams every night, but the number of significant dreams that I've had has increased quite a bit as well (or at least my ability to retain them has!). It's absolutely amazing. 

Here are a couple of the more memorable ones:

In one dream a few weeks back I saw a picture of the Ace of Swords, and heard a voice telling me that my air energy was off-balance and I needed to pay more attention to the fact that I was worrying far too much, and underutilizing the strength and power of my mental faculties. It was like a conversation with a guide or my higher self. I couldn't see anyone, there was just the voice and the image, and nothing else but a gray backdrop. When I awoke I had a strong sense that I had truly been receiving an important and direct communication about my well-being. And since that night I've improved a lot in the area of focus and intention, and have curbed a lot of my unproductive anxiety.

Rider Waite Tarot - US Games

Another dream I had just a couple of nights ago featured me wearing a white, flowing, cotton dress. I was going herb hunting, and happened across a grove of Elderberry trees situated in a circle, located in a common green area of what looked like a suburban neighborhood. I was so excited to have found these wonderful trees, and I climbed into the branches with a little plastic sandwich baggie. The branches were covered with lush bunches of white elderflowers, and I started to experiment with harvesting them. Suddenly I stopped myself because I remembered that I'd forgotten to acknowledge and thank the lady of the Elderberry trees! I was upset with myself. So I stopped what I was doing and apologized to the lady for my clumsiness, and then thoroughly thanked her for what I had taken and what I planned to take. I collected what seemed like a lot of wonderful flowers, but in reality was only a tiny fraction of what was available. I had a moment of concern, wondering if the people living in the houses nearby would think I was "up to something" and call the police. However I finished my harvesting, and never saw a soul. I stepped off the tree branch and floated down to the ground. 

Image from Creative Commons

Suffice to say, my dream journal has grown quite a bit lately. Having been so floored by the power of this crystal, I went online and ordered two more apophyllite crystals so that I could create a simple grid with them and selenite. And I've found that my dreams stay active and vibrant now even when I happen not to have an apophyllite crystal under my pillow. Perhaps that's because the crystals are always nearby even when they're not nestled into my pillowcase. Perhaps it's because once the door is opened it's not easily shut again. I don't know. But I do know that this has been one of the most powerful experiences with a crystal that I've ever had, and I look forward to continuing to develop and learn from my dreams with the help of this wonderful stone. I recommend it to anyone seeking to explore their own Dreamtime. There are vendors selling large pieces of apophyllite for quite a hefty price, but a small, natural pyramid (which is what I've been using) can be found for around $3. 

Good luck, and happy dreaming!