The Banes: Turning Poison into Medicine

I am participating in an Instagram challenge this month hosted by @lionharts, called #thejunetarot, and the prompt for day eight is: "Last day of the Moon cycle focus."

I drew The Banes from the Druid Plant Oracle (by Philip and Stephanie Car-Gomm) 🌿

I love that the full moon makes an appearance in this card - quite fitting, I'd say, given the prompt! The Banes provide much food for thought...

These are plants that were so often feared for their poisonous qualities, and yet, handled with skill and respect, became powerfully effective medicines. Many such herbs were utilized in the preparation of "flying ointments" meant to induce astral travel and spirit exploration.

How often do we avoid our own dangerous qualities for fear of succumbing to them? Of late I have been pondering the deep power in diving into them; opening up to them; allowing them to teach us. I remember once, many years ago, a young man told me that at his Christian university it was not permitted for students to dance. I looked at him, mouth agape. He became defensive, and explained that as dancing led people to immoral behavior, it was best not to engage in it. I recall thinking about how disempowering that felt: we learn about will, and boundaries, and our Selves, by entering the dance, not by avoiding it.

But I can understand the fear. Our wildness can be intimidating, uncertain. It can loom large over and around and within us. And yet ironically, perhaps, that's the best part. It feels good to plumb our own depths, to see what lurks in our shadowy corners. You let it embrace you, and instead of being overtaken by its potency, you discover just how much power you wield when you are able to own your own skin, the entirety of your being within your grasp. Shadow and light, all the shades in between. There is something sacred and worth savoring in that - a holy medicine.

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I have also been pondering the power of owning our own experiences, from one moment to the next, and not allowing others' ignorance or negativity to poison our own emotional body. Last night we were at the store and while waiting in line to pay, a man told another (in Spanish):

"I just came from Puerto Rico, and I'm not used to seeing 'darkies' out shopping so late."

He was referring to Jorge (and his blackness), and was clearly assuming that we couldn't understand. I was incensed. But instead of confronting the guy (which he would have done some years ago), he said to me:

"You can stay quiet out of fear, or you can stay quiet out of strength. This guy isn't even worth it, and I won't let his stupidity ruin this wonderful night."

Hmmm..... turning poison into medicine.

Goddesses of Empowerment

It is a time of many decks.

I don’t remember ever before being in the position to juggle (in the best sense possible) so many different manifestations of Tarot. Just in the last few months I’ve acquired – either through gift or purchase – the Cosmos Tarot and Oracle, the Dark Goddess Tarot, the Ancestral Path Tarot, the Fountain Tarot, the Tarot of the Holy Light, the Wild Unknown Tarot, and the Steampunk Tarot. Needless to say, I’ve got options. Not that I didn’t before – I haven’t counted lately, but prior to this new lot I had somewhere around 50 or 60 Tarot decks to choose from (not counting oracles). The difference is that I love every single one of these new acquisitions. There is not one that is underwhelming, or “not my style,” or just “nice.” There are no qualifications when I say that they are all wonderful. They all have a unique voice; they all draw me in and excite me with what they might show, and how they might show it.

This, of course, is a fantastic conundrum to be in (that of “which deck to use now?”), and I’ve thought several times recently that I could lose my entire collection, save these, and be quite fulfilled (well, I wouldn’t like to lose the New Orleans Voodoo, or my Thoth..! But you get the idea).

So over the past several weeks I have often found myself using one or two one day, and then switching it up the next. This way I am tasting them all, feeling them out in fairly regular intervals.

So it was that last night I decided to pull a card from the Ancestral Path Tarot – the Hermit – and immediately felt the relief of that simple reflection wash over me. In fact I had just leapt onto my bed for a much-needed (albeit brief) moment of alone time amidst what had been a busy-but-lovely Sunday. I drew the Hermit in the moment I was most aware of my need to embody that quiet, solitary energy.

This morning I decided to draw a guidance card from the Dark Goddess Tarot (this is such a rich, profound, wise, and moving set of cards) and I drew the Magician – Isis. This is my soul card (in terms of Tarot Birth Cards) and also one I’d drawn over the past several months as I moved through the change from my previous teaching position into one of departmental management. It all fit; it was as if the universe was saying: “This is you, it’s your time, you got this.” And here it was again.

I closed the previous week with an important meeting at which I provided a pile of evidence in support of a change that I knew needed to happen. I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be, but in the end the upper management team agreed with me and approved the change. I was walking on air (appropriate for the Magician!). I felt that I’d accomplished something that was as monumental as it was simple, and I was elated to have been able to pull it off. Today I will be sitting in another meeting where I will be explaining this change, and later this week I’ll be doing it yet again, so Isis was very welcome encouragement.  The guidebook for this deck reads:

“See what needs changing and step up to change it. Because you can. Energy is flowing through and around you now, available for you to shape and direct.”

It gave me shivers to read that. One thing that has been most satisfying for me as I walk this new path has been the ability to make positive change where I have seen the need for it for so long – change that benefits the faculty, the students, the program, and the school overall. It is extremely empowering, and there is a breath of liberation within that experience that I have not felt before quite in the same way.

I took a look at the bottom of the deck, and smiled at Baba Yaga, the Hermit, flying through the air in her mortar. It was a gentle reminder that I am still in Hermit-space, and that much of the work I’m able to do now has come from all of the time I’ve spent alone, gathering data, investigating, testing out my theories and making new discoveries. It’s funny because as I thought about my Hermit tendencies in relation to the workplace I recalled how I often call my office “the cave,” and when an instructor wishes to talk in private I often say, “Let’s do it, come into my cave!” The irony, of course, is that my office has no roof, and only three walls. The fourth wall is also a sliding door made entirely of transparent glass, which means that I’ve got a fish-bowl thing going on. Still, there is something to be said for boundaries, and these walls at least give me a designated space in which to sit alone, and a door that, while clear, can still be closed.

On the top of the deck I found Epona, embodying the 6 of Fire. When I made this rather large change last week I was nervous about what the global reaction would be. Would my team understand? A few that knew about it were supportive. I was very confident that they would all feel the same way after I presented the evidence, and yet I still battled some anxiety. Would a partner department be on board with it? It turns out that they are just as happy about it as I am, which was both a surprise and a tremendous relief. The 6 of Fire is not just “success” (though it is that, too). In the Dark Goddess Tarot it is about transformative work that comes about through caring leadership and working as part of a team. This is how I see myself – not as a boss, but as a leader, and honoring the role, value, and strengths of each member of my team is of utmost importance to me.  The guidebook reads:

“Sometimes it takes a herd. And a herd needs a strong, sensitive, balanced leader. Especially when the herd is not of docile sheep but swift, spirited horses.”

My “herd” (I’m not sure they’d appreciate that title, ha!) is most definitely the spirited type, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Accept the accolades, take in the blessings, and store that sunshine. Let it give you strength as you go forward.”

Experiences teach what instruction cannot. Often it is in the doing that the deepest learning takes place. I’m certainly “doing” these days. I don’t have a mold to fill, and every day presents new opportunities for growth and expansion. I will store this sunshine as I continue to walk my nebulous path that materializes with each step I take; and I am grateful.