The Banes: Turning Poison into Medicine

I am participating in an Instagram challenge this month hosted by @lionharts, called #thejunetarot, and the prompt for day eight is: "Last day of the Moon cycle focus."

I drew The Banes from the Druid Plant Oracle (by Philip and Stephanie Car-Gomm) 🌿

I love that the full moon makes an appearance in this card - quite fitting, I'd say, given the prompt! The Banes provide much food for thought...

These are plants that were so often feared for their poisonous qualities, and yet, handled with skill and respect, became powerfully effective medicines. Many such herbs were utilized in the preparation of "flying ointments" meant to induce astral travel and spirit exploration.

How often do we avoid our own dangerous qualities for fear of succumbing to them? Of late I have been pondering the deep power in diving into them; opening up to them; allowing them to teach us. I remember once, many years ago, a young man told me that at his Christian university it was not permitted for students to dance. I looked at him, mouth agape. He became defensive, and explained that as dancing led people to immoral behavior, it was best not to engage in it. I recall thinking about how disempowering that felt: we learn about will, and boundaries, and our Selves, by entering the dance, not by avoiding it.

But I can understand the fear. Our wildness can be intimidating, uncertain. It can loom large over and around and within us. And yet ironically, perhaps, that's the best part. It feels good to plumb our own depths, to see what lurks in our shadowy corners. You let it embrace you, and instead of being overtaken by its potency, you discover just how much power you wield when you are able to own your own skin, the entirety of your being within your grasp. Shadow and light, all the shades in between. There is something sacred and worth savoring in that - a holy medicine.

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I have also been pondering the power of owning our own experiences, from one moment to the next, and not allowing others' ignorance or negativity to poison our own emotional body. Last night we were at the store and while waiting in line to pay, a man told another (in Spanish):

"I just came from Puerto Rico, and I'm not used to seeing 'darkies' out shopping so late."

He was referring to Jorge (and his blackness), and was clearly assuming that we couldn't understand. I was incensed. But instead of confronting the guy (which he would have done some years ago), he said to me:

"You can stay quiet out of fear, or you can stay quiet out of strength. This guy isn't even worth it, and I won't let his stupidity ruin this wonderful night."

Hmmm..... turning poison into medicine.

Tarot Isn't A Quick-Fix

A fellow reader broached a topic today that highlighted something that's been on my mind for a while of late: that identifying an issue doesn't automatically fix it.

There are a million uses for Tarot (and divination, in general) from fortune telling, to spiritual guidance, to personal development, to gaining insights for practical decision-making, and on and on. All of these have a valuable place in the divination spectrum. As a reader I've found that by far the most powerful function of Tarot is for exploring the Self, and using insights and knowledge to make positive changes, spark thoughtful introspection, and generally making us all better, happier, stronger, and more peaceful human beings.

"Descent" by Jorge Garza

I've also found that many people (most definitely not all, nor the majority) that seek out readings on significant matters in their lives are not looking for or interested in personal growth or development; rather they're looking for fast and simple solutions to complex issues, or even simply interested in hearing that their deepest desires will come to pass, with little-to-no effort on their part (and as a side note, there are definitely "readers" out there in the business of telling clients only what they want to hear - it's not just an issue related to the impulses of a subsection of seekers, by any means). I am not entirely certain why this is, but I do notice it, and I'm curious about the phenomenon.

Tarot can be a powerfully meaningful catalyst for real, positive change. But real change is hard work. The most enriching use for Tarot is for self improvement, yet even for those people who are open-minded, honest, and dedicated to improving their lives, making lasting changes can be challenge. Tarot isn't meant to be a quick-fix. Durable change takes time and persistent effort, a willingness to delve into personal weaknesses, fears, and shadows, to shed light on what needs to be healed or strengthened or honored. It creates space for forgiveness and empowerment. This is the heart and soul of Tarot, and what makes it such a precious tool.

Some seekers are not interested in identifying areas for growth. And even knowing what needs attention is not always enough. If you're willing to do the work, however, Tarot can help create wholeness and nurture wisdom. That, for me, is ultimately what it's all about.

Strength of a Mambo: Courage to "Be"

One of the main focus cards I pulled for my year ahead (2015) was the Devil.

I like this card.

First of all, as a Capricorn this is the card that is astrologically associated with me. This means that 2015 will be a year of coming into myself more fully, of coming to terms with my fears and shadows.

I'm ready for it.

I've always been a person who loves and values peace, harmony, kindness, and understanding. I've never functioned well in heavy conflict, and I've always sought common ground with others; I figure that no matter how different we are, there must be somewhere that we connect.

Wildwood Tarot; Ryan/Matthews/Worthington

Part of my growth area this year is in the ability to be myself, have (and share) my own thoughts and feelings, express my perspectives and worldview, without being afraid of how others will perceive me, how others might react, without being afraid of being misunderstood, or disliked. I have to be me. I have to embrace and develop my personal power through having the strength to shine my light, to be where I'm at, without insisting on harmony all the time (which also means allowing others to be where they're at). Risky business!

I had a really difficult experience a couple of days ago in an online forum, where I was misunderstood, harshly judged, and then censored...in a group that prides itself on being a safe, supportive, and nonjudgmental haven, no less. I only found out that my comment (about the importance of honoring the unique histories behind diasporic religions) caused ill feelings for others when I noticed that my comment had been deleted, quietly and without any notification. At first I was pretty surprised, and I reached out to the moderator to understand what had happened. It turned out that a couple of people had messaged her privately to let her know that they didn't like my point of view, and in an attempt to avoid any conflict, the decision had been made to simply get rid of the "offending" comment (without contacting me for clarification, mind you). I was totally taken aback, and to be honest, really hurt. I certainly wasn't offending any one, my comment had been (I thought) really affirming, and very heartfelt. I was hurt, confused, and I was pretty angry. They didn't like my point of view?! (Even if that were true, what happened to healthy, respectful discourse?)

My first feeling was almost a sense of illness at having been misunderstood, and then robbed of the ability to clarify my perspective or intentions. The second feeling I had was deep sorrow coupled with an admittedly-pathetic desire to remain mute the rest of my life so as to avoid any potential dilemmas in the future. But I knew there was a lesson buried somewhere in there. I decided to pull a card from my New Orleans Voodoo Tarot to help me better understand how to have the strength to speak my own truth in the face of this very apparent danger of being misunderstood and....not liked!

New Orleans Voodoo Tarot
S. Glassman

I drew the Rada Mambo (Queen of Swords). Ah hah. If there was ever a master of speaking truth, it is this strong woman. I sat with her image for a while. She looks fierce, totally unafraid of anyone or anything. She knows herself, and she is willing to say what needs to be said time and time again, no matter if others approve of her words or not. She has a head in one hand and a knife in the other: she doesn't abide false masks; she is ever in search of truth. And she doesn't hide herself from others, because knows that truth, and the search for it, is the only thing worth engaging in. The book Vodou Visions (2007), by Sallie Ann Glassman, states:

Look into the eyes of the Rada Manbo and see that her power, mastery, and place in the world give her pleasure and satisfaction. She is radiant with life. Her intelligence is based on what the primordial waters of the body know. The serpent is her ally. The deep waters of her psyche contain deep knowledge, which is uncontaminated by intellectual deceit. She cuts off the lie with her sword. (pg. 191)

I've often said that of all the Queens in the Tarot deck, the Queen of Swords is the one least like me. In my quest for fullness and balance, she has important gifts to teach me about being strong, clear, and true with my words and purpose. 

Then yesterday I came across an article by Lori Deschene (from tinybuddha.com), called "10 Reasons to Be Okay with Being Disliked." 

As my husband would say, me vino como anillo al dedo (the article was a perfect fit for the moment). Number 5 on the list read: 

You can freely express your thoughts: One of the kindest things you can do for someone else is listen without judging. You deserve that same kindness, but you won’t always get it. People will form opinions as you speak. Talk anyway. Let your words be kind but fearless.

Kind, but fearless. That sounds like my dear teacher, the Rada Mambo. She's got my back as I develop the courage to "be." 

Tarot Tip: Reading for Yourself

Card readers seems to differ on the topic of reading for oneself - some feel it's not appropriate (for a variety of reasons) whereas others thoroughly enjoy and benefit from self-readings, and see them as a tool for self-empowerment. It's true that depending on the topic it can be hard to be objective, but I tend to fall in the "it's a wonderful thing to do" camp. Some of my deepest, most touching, and most brutally honest readings have been those I've done for myself.

The Queen of Cups: self-reading since 1450A.D.
Golden Tarot - Kat Black

Here are some tips to make the self-reading practice as nurturing and nourishing (and fair!) as possible:

1) Feel free to read on emotionally-charged issues, but use wisdom! Don't automatically write off weighty self-readings under the assumption that you will never be able to be fair with yourself. Yes, it's easy to misinterpret the cards either way due to subjectivity. You may see a line of challenging cards and convince yourself that D-Day has arrived, or toward the other extreme, you may view them with rose-colored glasses. You may even look for the "catch" in a group of very positive and affirming cards. But before giving up on your ability to understand your own cards clearly and justly, consider this: "If I were doing this reading for a client, what would I say to them?" If you can separate your own fears and judgements from your cards, you may find a powerful message waiting there for you.

2) Don't read for yourself if you're expecting, or needing, to hear a particular answer. (This goes for everyone considering getting any kind of divinatory reading!) The cards tell you what you need to hear, not always what you want to hear. You already know this, and it's far easier to acknowledge that fact when reading for other people. When it's yourself, it can be more challenging. So if you feel you can't handle a certain outcome, don't read for yourself. Take time to work through your feelings and thoughts. If you get to a point when you feel you can be open, then give it a whirl!

3) If you pull a card for yourself and it doesn't immediately make sense, don't dismiss it right away. Give it some time, consider the essence of the card, and what the image is conveying. Let it percolate, as they say. You may be surprised as you recognize an aspect of your feelings or the context of your situation that are important and real, but hadn't been at the forefront of your mind, or you hadn't considered before.

4) Not all questions have to be high-stakes. One of my favorite questions to ask the cards for myself is: how am I feeling about X (insert topic here)? It may seem silly, or like it should be obvious, but simple self-readings such as this can be very illuminating, and can help you to pay attention to important elements of your inner world that you may have been neglecting. Tarot is a great tool for self-awareness and guidance, and that's true as much for the small things as it is for the big things.

5) When in doubt, feel free to request a reading from an impartial reader! Reading for yourself can be a deeply rewarding experience, and can be a great way to grow both in relationship to the cards, and in relationship to your Self. But if you really want some insight about something important in your life and don't feel you can be objective, it's an act of wisdom to recognize that and to reach out to someone else.

Doing the Work

Divination can be a very powerful catalyst for change. Through this medium we can learn more about ourselves and gain insights into important areas of our lives, can come to understand how our decisions impact our environment, and can prepare ourselves to confront the varying ways that our paths may unfold before us. This can be extremely empowering and meaningful.

But laying out the cards is the easy part. There is a saying: "It's easier said than done," and I find myself at times playing those words through my mind, and even sometimes speaking them aloud to my clients. I love doing readings that empower people to confront important decisions, to take responsibility for their role in their own lives, and ultimately to become happier, healthier, more spiritually balanced human beings. But I can't do the work for anyone else. At best I lay the cards, speak the story, and hope that my clients then find a way to manifest it in a manner that works most effectively for them (and I'm always happy to help them brainstorm those manners if they so desire).

Photo credit: Jorge D'Strades

I encourage all those seeking wisdom from any oracle to ask themselves if they're willing to do the work necessary to embody the message they receive. Identifying areas for growth and development can be done quite effectively, but that's just the first step. There's another saying: "Knowing is half the battle." It's good to know, but it's not enough. Acting on that knowledge is the hard part, and it's the critical step. To make the most of your reading, be willing to consider the steps you can take to address your core concerns, and be sure that the focus is always on yourself - what you can do, what you can nurture, what you can change, what you can impact, what you can release.

Make a plan of action, even if your to-do list is short and simple. It's a start! Don't overcomplicate the matter, feeling that if you don't see results immediately then you may as well give up. You might compare it to losing weight: you know you need to lose 50 pounds, and that if you do so you'll improve your overall health and well-being. If you try to "go big" and hit the gym six days a week, and cut out all fats and carbs, you'll last about a week and then throw in the towel. It's not sustainable, nor is it fair to you. So you start small. When you feel like munching, you grab the carrot sticks and dressing rather than a bag of chips. When you're feeling sleepy you take a stroll around the block instead of a nap. You don't change your diet radically, but you might start to take smaller portions at each meal. And little by little the weight starts to come off, and you might even find that those little changes feel really good, even if they're a bit uncomfortable at first, and healthier choices become your innate preference rather than a mindful action.

So don't let your reading become an entry in your journal that you never look at, or a distant memory, or an email that gets lost in your inbox. Use it as a blueprint for manifesting a more positive path forward, tack it on your fridge, make it your computer wallpaper, post it on your bathroom mirror….use it!