Cosmos Tarot: A Reading

Yesterday I facilitated my first important meeting in my new position, after spending a couple of weeks preparing for it. Over the course of my various career paths, I've led a lot of meetings, and as a teacher and presenter I'm accustomed to speaking before groups, however this felt like a whole new ball game (so to speak). I was going to be presenting on various critical aspects of my program and requesting feedback from our department's advisory council, and I wanted to make sure that my data was accurate, clearly presented, and well-organized. Needless to say, I was slightly anxious!

Yesterday I decided to pull some cards from the Cosmos Tarot to provide some advice for how to approach this meeting:

1. Do this: 3 of Fire (Tucana)
2. Don't do this: 3 of Air (Hercules)
3. What to be aware of: Judgement (Capricornus)

As I was shuffling the cards, Strength (Puppis) leapt out at me. This was comforting for many reasons, but one of the connections I made was that when I had read on my ability to do this job (during the interview process) I pulled Strength, and found its message of calm confidence and compassion very stabilizing and encouraging. So I saw this as a reminder that the same skills or traits that brought me to this place would sustain me throughout this experience.

In the image on this card we see a ship moving forward between two towering cliffs. Surely the channel is narrow and harrowing to navigate, but the shades of deep purple give a sense of being calm, cool, and collected, and the golden hue in the sky foreshadows success. There are oars in the water - someone is navigating. However the greatest force propelling this ship onward comes from the many beings under the water. Bulls, fish, birds, people.... they are like spirits offering their support and guidance, even in quiet ways.

As advice about where to focus, and what to do, the 3 of Fire encouraged me to focus on goal setting, plans for moving forward with what's been developed thus far. It would be best to have a clear list of proposed focal points to discuss. And the keywords on this particular card read: expression, confidence, communication. Being clear and concise with my words would be important, and then, there again is the theme of confidence...in myself, in my ability, in the ideas I would be sharing.

As advice about where not to focus, and what not to do, the 3 of Air (Hercules) suggested that to focus on the challenge of this meeting would not serve me at all. The keywords here are: great effort, trial. I was feeling somewhat anxious about the meeting, however worrying, focusing on the potential difficulty of the task at hand, would only shake my calm and wear down my confidence. It was important to stop thinking about this meeting as a hardship, or hurdle to be jumped, and start focusing on the benefits of idea sharing and goal setting highlighted by Tucana.

Finally, Judgement, Capricornus, appeared as "what to be aware of." It actually appeared inverted, which told me quite a lot - similar to the message of "confidence" in Strength and the 3 of Fire, this card told me to toss any self-doubt out the window. I had this. I would be fine. Yes, I should review the development of the past year with this council. I should talk about what wasn't working, and how we might take steps to improve those areas. But I should do so with the understanding that I am perfectly prepared to describe and address the pertinent and salient issues, and likewise I am capable, along with the support and diverse perspectives of the advisory team, of directing our "ship" forward into clearer waters (which again conjures that image from Strength). The keywords here are: setting priorities, efficiency, practicality. This would be my focus. Furthermore, I am a Capricorn, and the connection to my sun sign felt important. Last week I met with the dean (my boss) and when she realized that my birthday was coming up soon she said, "Oh, you're a Capricorn! Well no wonder managing the faculty schedules is a breeze for you!" We had a little laugh about that (she also happens to be a Reiki master, which I love, but I digress...)

The story over all told me that I didn't need to worry - that in fact to worry would detract from the experience. All I needed to do was spend a little additional time ensuring that the agenda and discussion items were organized, clear, concise, and geared toward progress. If I could manage that, and preserve my own self-confidence, the meeting would go just fine.

In the end, it did just that!

Simple Questions

From time to time I sit with my Tarot cards and ask a simple question: what am I feeling?

It may seem a bit silly, especially because I consider myself to be someone who is very self-aware and thoughtful, in general. But something about feelings……just slides under the rug sometimes. I know when I'm anxious, especially at 2am when I wake up, turn over, and then can't fall back asleep. Things always tend to feel most ominous in the darkest hours of morning when everything is quiet. I know when I'm joyous, basking in the amazing wonder of a breezy, sunny, tree-filled afternoon in springtime.  I know when I'm particularly full of potent love, snuggling with my little ones, listening to their innocent chatter, their amazement at something as small as a centipede crawling in the grass.

At my core, I've always been a happy person. Over the years, I've learned that happiness can coexist with a rainbow of other feelings and sensations. I've also always been a pretty reasonable person, grounded in "what needs to be done" rather than "how do I feel about it?" So sometimes I like to check in with myself, crack open the nut, see what's happening inside. I shuffle, pour my soul and essence out into the deck, and lay out a few cards.

I did this just a couple of days ago, and drew:

3 Swords rx - Ace of Wands - Ace of Disks

Thoth Tarot - Crowley/Harris

(Yes, this is the Thoth deck - don't be shocked or offended by the reversal, I swear I can explain ;-) )

As odd as it might sound, I was relieved and pleased to see the 3 of Swords; I suppose on some level that was part of the motivation for having done this reading to begin with. I've been sad for a little while, a momentary sadness that sits alongside my regular happy and positive nature. It's not a sadness from betrayal or lies or other woes sometimes attributed to this card. It's a low-key, subtle sadness that floats around in the background of my days and nights, the sadness of movement, of reality, of awareness, acceptance and release. Its presence is evident to me, but it doesn't stop me in my tracks, nor does it heavily impinge on my happiness. It's simply there, and I feel it.

The dark murkiness of the 3 of Swords is off-set by the bright vibrancy of the Ace of Wands, which in turn is complemented by the earthy, grounding energy of the Ace of Disks. These two cards are full of intention, optimism, and possibility. The pair suggests newness and fresh starts - energetic and material. And they are reflections of me, as astrologically I am a double Capricorn with an Aries moon. The fire has been rising within me over this past year, which itself has been lovely and strange, new and empowering. Both of these are important aspects of my life at the moment, just as surely as the 3 of Swords….and perhaps to some degree these two cards contribute to the presence of the 3 of Swords (in most cases pain is a natural component of important, even very positive, change).

I spent quite a while gazing at the beauty of this trio, the contrasting colors, the helpful illumination of the reading itself. It serves as a wonderful reminder and meditative focus: for moments when I'm feeling the 3 of Swords more keenly, I can also be mindful about honoring the equally important presence of the two Aces, and the positive movement and promise and power they bring into my world. Fire and Earth.

Sometimes it's the simple questions that end up being the most valuable.

Mind Over Matter

I've heard people talk about the 3 of Swords as the "mind over matter" card, and that it can represent the ability to "get to the heart of an issue." I think these are interesting interpretations that contribute a lot to the understanding of this somewhat unpleasant card.

It's not fun to see when it pops up in a spread… we think heartbreak, disappointment, jealousy, betrayal, pain, sadness, despair.  I've heard this card described as heartache that impacts the mind and the ability to make decisions, which makes sense as it's in the suit of Swords, and therefore pertains to the intellect. I've also experienced this card in a reading as representative of someone considering betrayal, which again fits with Swords in that it's a decision that affects emotions.

Radiant Rider-Waite/US Games

But one of my favorite interpretations, which I've seen recently when it was in relationship to the 5 of Cups in a reading, is the idea of rising above the pain of disappointment and heartbreak so that clear decisions can be made. In other words, having the strength to be logical and intellectual in the midst of sadness; the ability to make sensible decisions by rising above pain, and taking a good look at the reality around you.  This is not easy, and in fact I think it only comes after having spent a long period of time grieving - even if the grief has become a regular part of life to the extent that it isn't always obvious or immediately recognizable. It still sits below the surface. But something must happen, a catalyst that gently shifts the focus from the three empty cups to the two that are still full. And I think that card is the 3 of Swords. Spears of clarity pierce through the pain-riddled heart, encouraging mind over matter, with the promise that with each step the road will become easier.