I was standing in what appeared to be the back yard area of my parents' house (though it was nothing like their home in real life), and I was alone. The back edge of the yard was lined with forest, and suddenly out of the trees came a golden horse. He walked down into the yard, right up to me. I stood there (probably gawking a bit) and thought, "How did you get here?" And the horse said (our communication was entirely telepathic, so these were thought-forms as opposed to actual words):
"You summoned me."
He seemed to ask me to climb onto his back which made me feel slightly awkward - the idea of riding a talking horse felt wrong somehow. But he encouraged me, and so I did. Once I was there I felt a bit self-conscious, and worried that I was too heavy for him, but he "told" me that he was perfectly able to carry me. We rode around a bit, and I recall that at one point we went into the house. I remember thinking that my parents would be quite shocked to see me riding a horse inside! We departed again. And that was it.
Throughout the rest of that night, throughout all of the other dreamscapes, I kept repeating to myself, "The golden horse." And when I woke up, I was still feeling deeply moved by the experience. As with dreams of other messengers that I've had - particularly ravens - I felt like the golden horse was a palpable consciousness dwelling within me. I looked up horse symbolism online but nothing felt quite right. The rune Ehwaz came to my mind, as it literally translates to "horse," and represents a harmonious bond between two beings (horse and rider, married couple, etc.) as well as movement and progress. A resource I consulted also mentioned the connection that Ehwaz has to the fylgja, a Norse concept of the fetch, or a sort of animal manifestation/aspect of the soul. This immediately resonated in that though the horse in my dream was obviously separate from me physically, I "felt" him within me. I was mesmerized by his telling me that I had called him.
|This morning's draw from the Celtic Shaman's deck (John Matthews and Chesca Potter)|
Later that afternoon we packed our things and headed to the coast to spend the afternoon at the beach. As I was searching for a sack to put my relatively new Celtic Shaman's Oracle in, I saw my Magical Menagerie deck that I rarely work with. Since it is full of animals I decided to bring it along. Later, while lounging by the ocean waves, I took the Magical Menagerie deck out and began to shuffle it, while thinking about the identity of the golden horse. A card flipped out and landed face down in the sand. I picked it up and blew the sand off, and when I saw what it was I laughed aloud: Fetch. Hmm!
In the week or so leading up to my dream I had done a few readings with the Celtic Shaman's oracle, and the Lady of the Cauldron (Ceridwen) had appeared for me numerous times. I knew she carried an important message for me, but I was struggling to dig into what it meant beyond themes of "inspiration, wisdom, transformation, magic." I haven't studied Celtic or Welsh mythology much, and don't have a firm or profound grasp on this powerful goddess. The morning after my dream I pulled some cards about it and there was Ceridwen again.
I've done a couple of Tarot readings on this topic as well, but I still feel like I'm groping around in the dark for the answer. The cards made some sense, and yet I can't shake the sensation of skirting around the heart of the matter. And so I've been "sitting in it" for days.
This morning I chose to pull a couple of "cards of the day" from the Celtic Shaman's deck, and nearly choked when I flipped over Ceridwen and the Horse. "The golden horse!" I practically shouted out in surprise. My daughter looked at me questioningly, and I explained my little saga.
I'm clearly not "done" with Ceridwen or my golden horse just yet. I wish I could end this post with a dose of deep and insightful wisdom about the significance of my experience, but I don't have the answer. What I can say is that I have a lot more work to do!
Do you have any thoughts about it? If so, please feel free to share them in the comments!