Then, a few days ago I was suddenly moved to start the #tarotselflove challenge by Ethony on Instagram, even though they were already 20-some days into the thing, and I was already participating in another. One of the first prompts asks you to pull cards to represent what your inner child thinks of you, and what you can do to nurture your inner child. The message was clearly conveyed in my draw: play. Perhaps that same afternoon I had seen a note from a friend which mentioned that she was very excited to be going out dancing for the first time in ages. On my way to work I started to think about how I used to go out dancing in my early 20s, and how much fun it was to let loose on the dance floor to some really good music. Just thinking about that sparked in me the desire to do something fun, though I had no idea what that might be. I'm not really interested in going out dancing these days, so what would "fun" even look like? Still, I was entirely oblivious to the threaded theme that was unfurling throughout all of these experiences.
|Gabriel being coached during his first game.|
Being a witness to my son's excitement about baseball brought all of those feelings back to me. Tee ball is totally non-competitive, which is partly why it's so great - there is no pressure involved. The kids are very young, and they are just out there to have fun, to learn the game basics, and to improve individually over time. They all receive equal playing time, and I have to say that they are extremely adorable to watch in action. So I've been sort of bit by the "bug." After the game yesterday we were thinking about what to do for the rest of the day, and the only main thing on my agenda was to go out and find Gabriel some new cleats, because the old ones he was using were starting to peel. We ended up finding two pairs (Nike and Under Armour, respectively) in great condition for a combined total of $8.50 (let me take a moment to plug second-hand stores which are wonderful places to look for sports equipment for kids, seeing as they outgrow things rather quickly!).
Later that evening I was getting ready for tea and scones and relaxation when Doreen Virtue's Archangel Oracle cards grabbed my attention. Now I have to be honest and say that I am decidedly not much of a Virtue fan (perhaps because she seems to spread herself thin across a billion oracle and tarot decks; perhaps because she features an overabundance of unicorns, fairies and angels which are not so much my cup of tea. Not sure.) however I picked this deck up at, yes, a second-hand store for .99 - a deal too good to pass up, regardless. I never use these cards, but for some reason I was drawn to pull a card from the deck, and so I did. I didn't ask a question, per se, rather I focused my thoughts and feelings on the cards as I shuffled, opening myself to whatever message might come up. It was:
"Archangel Gabriel: As you nurture a child, you nurture your own inner child. Both activities are important for you right now."
Here I am, playing, nurturing my son's excitement for his new sport, finding my own profound sense of fun in accompanying and supporting him on his athletic journey, all the while reviving exhilarating memories of my own sports days. The significance of the archangel's name was not lost on me.
Clearly I have been experiencing a notable lack of play in my life, and by nurturing my son, I am simultaneously receiving much-needed sustenance of my own.