There are quiet a few theories about how to choose this card, but in my experience no choice is really necessary - the cards themselves show you who you are (if you're paying attention). And while you may tend to show up as one particular card most frequently, you may find yourself symbolized by a number of other courts, depending on the context of the reading. For example you may see yourself appear as the King of Swords in matters of work and "outside life," but then you may appear as the Queen of Pentacles when it comes to a reading about your family.
|Stone Tarot - A. Stone|
My husband and one of my sisters both show up most often as the King of Wands even though they are water and air signs, respectively. Another sister (a Leo) is most commonly represented by the King of Swords, while my mother is the Queen of Cups (that one fits the mold being that she's a Cancer!). I even remember reading for a man who appeared in his own reading as the Queen of Wands. In all of these cases the significators were not preselected or decided upon, they were shown.
|Navigators Tarot of the Mystic SEA - J. Turk|
Court cards represent our most salient traits and characteristics, so they don't always match up neatly with gender or astrology. And that is a good thing, as it allows much more fluidity in readings, and in the end reflects our diversity with far greater acuity.