Digging In Deep

My daily draw today was the Hermit (with Liz Dean’s Golden Tarot).

This is one of my favorite cards, so it was a welcome sight.  So what does this card mean to me?  Well, as usual, it’s very fitting!

Golden Tarot - Liz Dean

I’ve been studying Tarot intensely for a while now.  I’ve read books, absorbed online resources, practiced analyzing different ways of understanding spreads (elemental dignities, numerology, etc.).  These have all been extremely positive for me.  But I’ve reached the point where it’s time to go within.  It’s time to spend alone time with my cards, to study their images and what those images mean to me – not just what the books and websites say they mean.  Yesterday evening I settled down with my tablet and thought: “What site will I spend time on today?”  I drew a blank – I wasn’t being pulled anywhere in particular.  I had the feeling that I’d already explored everything valuable online.  Having all of that knowledge about various card meanings is great, and forms a wonderful foundation for Tarot study.  I adore reading (and will continue to read) other Tarot readers’ blogs to hear about their experiences and learn from the manner in which they work with the cards.  And in the future I’ll use the internet to take the plunge into free reading.  But it’s time to dig in deeper.  My intuition is exploding, and the trust I place in it is growing rapidly.  

Two nights ago I read a real-life sample spread on a popular website, and treated it as if I had received the question from a querent, and pulled those cards.  I worked my way through each one, thought about the story being told, and came to my conclusions about what I would tell the querent if she were my own client.  Afterward I read through other people’s interpretations.  Many were similar, but veered away from mine in various ways – and of course that caused me to doubt myself, and what I was seeing in the cards.  Then I finally read the feedback from the original client, and it reflected my interpretation almost identically.  All those areas where I had second-guessed myself were actually right on.  It was a rewarding moment, and I realized that I can actually do this with people I don’t know.  I learn from reading others’ takes on spreads, so it’s a valuable learning experience.  But I need to focus more on my own intuitions and discernment, and how the cards speak to me.  

So it’s time to swim beneath the surface, delve deeper into my own personal relationship with Tarot.  The hourglass hanging from the tree, and the light of the Hermit's lantern are saying "slow down, and take time to deepen your understanding." This is what the Hermit represents to me today.

Pentacles, Wands, and a Bull

Yesterday my daily draw was the lovely lady from 9 of Pentacles (Morgan Greer), telling me what I already know: I've been spending a lot of time thinking about economic stability, and deeply wanting to be able to buy my kids all the toys and books they want.

Morgan Greer Tarot

Today I drew the Prince (Knight) of Wands (DruidCraft) who was encouraging me to tap into my creativity and energy and get those tasks taken care of.  Ugh.  I knew I'd have to rework a part of an important assignment at work, and wasn't really looking forward to it.  But like the picture of the Prince, I'd just have to close my eyes and charge on.

DruidCraft Tarot

As a complement, I decided to draw a card from the Druid Animal Oracle, and I pulled the Bull reversed.  This indicates a lack of motivation to "get the job done" (did the Bull and the Knight of Wands have a private meeting before I woke up??).  It suggests to me that if I push through the less savory tasks without getting overly frustrated, I'll enjoy the final result.

Druid Animal Oracle

Okay, that pretty much summed up my day ahead.  I know I've said it (typed it) before, but I really appreciate even the simple acknowledgement of what lies ahead, or what's on my mind.  It helps me reassess my own reactions, and be more realistic and peaceful.

Fire, Water, Earth

There has been some struggling a bit recently in my department with a new employee who was hired in to support our other staff.  Though his credentials are similar to the rest of the people in the department, he has less experience, and so started at a slightly lower position, with a possibility for promotion.  In a lot of ways he's really nice, seems to have a good sense of humor, and is a smart guy.  On the other hand he definitely comes across at times as being overconfident in his knowledge and ability, and sometimes ends up making mistakes for these reasons.  Mistakes can be the best learning tools, but only if you're humble enough to recognize them, and there has been some low level conflict resulting from clashes between the new employee and more established faculty.  

I decided to do a three-card spread with undesignated positions, asking the question "what would be helpful for me to understand about this employee?"  I used my Golden Tarot deck.

7 of Wands: he's confident in his abilities, and is determined to prove it.  He was hired in at a lower position but views himself as an equal.  

The Moon: there are uncertainties surrounding him, which may come from the other employees who aren't sure what to think of him yet. But it could also represent his own inflated perception of his skills and abilities.

8 of Pentacles: if he accepts his position as a temporary assignment meant to help him gain experience and improve his abilities, he will be successful.  There is room to grow in the organization, so he should see this as a valuable opportunity to learn more about his field.  

That is good confirmation about what's going on.  Now.  If this were a single question posed to me via email, would I have come to the same conclusions?  I think for the most part I would, perhaps with some minor changes.  It's hard to say.  But I like to pose these questions to myself as a challenge.

Seven of Swordsssss..........

Some common meanings of the 7 of Swords (some wording borrowed from learntarot.com):

Running away, shirking responsibility, dishonor (stealing, betrayal, knowing of criminal activity), feeling of not needing anyone, being a lone wolf, keeping secrets, avoiding obligations, procrastinating, letting innocent people pay the price, deceit, taking the easy way out, avoiding a shameful secret, covering your tracks.

A great blog post I read today helped me clarify the core meaning of this card.  The writer was discussing the meaning of the card from the Wildwood Tarot (Mark Ryan, John Matthews, Will Worthington), which has a lot of cards with significantly different meanings compared to traditional Tarot.  I don’t own this deck (though I’d like to someday) but I’ve found some of these non-traditional meanings online.  Some of them do seem a little off from the traditional (2 of Swords/Arrows meaning “injustice” instead of “denial, indecision, facing a difficult choice”).  But some are simply different-yet-related takes on the traditional meanings.  That’s how I see the 7 of Swords/Arrows.  Wildwood’s key word for this card is “Insecurity.”  At face value this doesn’t seem to mesh with the traditional meanings listed above, but upon closer inspection they are really quite closely related.  Insecurity is the root of almost all of the traditional meanings.  It indicates actions either caused by insecurity, or actions that cause insecurity.  Here are some of the ways I visualize that:

Examples: I felt insecure so I X (ran away, distanced myself from others, etc.)

OR

                   X (avoiding my obligations, watching an innocent take the wrap, etc.)

                        caused me to feel insecure.

In many cases a single action can fall into both categories:

Examples: I felt insecure about the quality of my work, so I copied my colleague’s

                        presentation, and now I’m feeling insecure about what I did.

                 I didn’t do well in Spanish class, but I kept it from my parents because I

                        was afraid they’d punish me, and now I’m guilty about the secret, and

                        also afraid they’ll find out anyway, and it’ll be worse.

This is something of an “ah hah” moment for me, because the 7 of Swords has been really challenging for me to understand.  It has a variety of meanings that change significantly depending on the question, accompanying cards, querent, etc.  I feel that taking the term “insecurity” as a basis from which to begin to understand many of the meanings of this card in any reading is a breakthrough in terms of the way I will look at it in the future.  Holding the idea that insecurity is the root of this card makes it easier to work with.  And more dynamic – and easier to understand the dynamics!

Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot

So I had this card pop up in a spread I did for my daughter, Isabella, some time ago, where her question related to what the next school year would be like. (I won't share the entire spread, but she did agree to me sharing this much.) This card fell in the position of "conscious goals/thoughts/concerns" and I was really, really stuck.  I read the meaning (at that point I was still referencing the LWB as I hadn't learned the meanings by heart yet) and was kind of horrified.  It was all doom and gloom, betrayal and backstabbing.  I didn't think that felt right for Isabella.  I toned it down and felt it could refer to curiosity she has regarding her friend situation in the coming year.  Last year she made some friends, but over the summer they all disappeared, and she was left feeling abandoned, and questioning how true the friendships really were. So I interpreted the card as her attempt to find friends that would be true.  In this sense there is an element of betrayal.  But with the core idea of "insecurity" it opens so many doors.  I started thinking of the many aspects of her year that created anxiety for her (and at times for us), and the meaning suddenly expanded to include not only friends, but academic pursuits (which relates to Swords), honesty, and the potential for alienating some people by "following the beat of her own drum."  My interpretation ended up something like this:

Isabella: determined to be herself (especially style-wise) though this may keep others at arm’s length (who might prefer easily categorized people).  There may be anxiety about the ability to make friends while staying true to herself, especially since friends she thought she had made haven’t been particularly available.  This may also represent some low-level anxiety about the intellectual work itself (will it be easy? too challenging? will I be able to hack it?).  In addition it may touch on the need to communicate what’s going on in school with us (her parents) and not let us find out about things at the last minute, or via an email from a teacher (in other words, don’t avoid or hide things).

So I’m happy that I still feel my initial interpretation was right, but it’s so much richer and whole when I approach the 7 of Swords from a new angle.  Now I’m sure this hasn’t entirely solved my own insecurities about working with this card (ha ha) but it’s given me something really promising to work with, and I'm no longer scared that I'll be stumped by this card in a spread.

A Knight, The World, and The Empress: 3 Days in a Nutshell

I didn’t post my daily draws for the past three days, so I thought I’d do that now, just to try to keep up the practice of reporting what I pulled and how it related to my day!

Today is Monday (ugh). 

On Saturday I pulled the Knight of Swords, using my Golden Tarot deck.  Well, as much as I love to see other suits, it was fitting all the same.  It was pretty much Jorge.  He woke up on the wrong side of bed, and was irritable for most of the day, until late afternoon/early evening.  Sometimes just the acknowledgement of what your day is bringing you is enough to make it easier to deal with, to keep in mind that it’s just a moment, and won’t last.  To take it in stride.  That’s one of the important benefits of daily draws, I would say.  And while the day was pretty Knight of Swordsy, the evening ended on a positive note.

Morgan Greer Tarot

On Sunday I pulled The World, using my new Morgan Greer deck.  That’s what I’m talking about!  Not a sword in sight! ;-)  (To be fair I do appreciate and value the messages the suit of Swords delivers, but sometimes I just want a break!).  Realizing goals, getting active and involved, healing, synthesis, contentment and fulfillment.  Quite an auspicious card, really! I wasn’t sure I’d be able to live up to it!!!  But it did color my day in many ways.  I made inquiries about two courses I want to take at a local shop – one on herbs and the other on intuitive Tarot.  I purchased ritual candles and a small bottle for holding consecrated oil.  I bought some Hawthorn berries for a tea I wanted to make (due to a haphazard reading about my health I’d done that morning which worried me and made me want to take some action!).  And to top it off, that evening I did the most affirming reading (with my DruidCraft deck) about my future with Tarot which really brought everything together and gave me a strong feeling that I’m heading in the right direction.  I followed that up with a one-card-draw from my Druid Animal Oracle to ask what animal teachings would be most helpful on my path, and pulled the Seal card (connecting to your Unconscious; Feminine energy and teachings; opening yourself to following your dreams).  Not only was the message in line with my reading, but the card features a cloudy sky with a rainbow.  A few minutes later I put the cards away and Jorge and Lourdes and I went out for an evening walk… when I looked up there was the most beautiful rainbow hanging in a hazy sky.  I’ve never seen a rainbow by our house before, so it felt like another sort of confirmation, and it was a really beautiful moment for me, on many levels, kind of left me in awe.  So The World seemed fitting for my day yesterday.

Morgan Greer Tarot

Today I almost didn’t even have time to pull a card.  And let me say that it was quite the incomplete process.  I was hurriedly shuffling my Morgan Greer deck (I’m trying to switch it up now that I have three decks, so each one gets a little attention) and wasn’t even able to finish one shuffle before Gabriel and Jorge came in the room, and I needed to change Gabriel’s diaper, and Jorge started organizing the bed sheets.  So I just gave up shuffling, and cut the deck once and it was the Empress (how very fitting, given the surrounding activity!).  I put that on the back burner and ran out the door.  Despite the incompleteness of the shuffle/selection process I decided to go with it!  On my way to work I thought about it, and feel it’s telling me that the most important aspects of my day today will involve my family.  Jorge had a hard morning today with aches and pains he can’t identify the cause of, and feeling really tired.  So I feel the need to be supportive of him, so that he can get some rest.  Except I’m going to be at work for most of the day!  So I’m going to help him as much as possible from afar (planning the grocery list, etc) and then later when I get home try to give him some down time, and see what activities I can come up with for the kids.  To me today is all about giving extra support to my family in both roles: wife and mother.

I’m out.

A Reading with DruidCraft

I did a reading last night using my new DruidCraft Tarot by Philip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm, and Will Worthington (yesssss, came in the mail yesterday!!! And a side note- after a brief deliberation I decided to trim the cards because they were so huge and cumbersome, and despite my terror they came out well).

The reading was for a friend's husband, who for the sake of privacy I'll call "Jason," though they were fine with me sharing the results on this blog (thank you!). He's been struggling to develop his own business, starting from scratch, and feeling anxious about the future.  My friend, meanwhile, has been the primary "bread-winner" as her husband slowly works toward his goals, and making his dreams a reality.  They have kids, and he's been acting as a stay-at-home-Dad at the same time.  So the question was: "What does the future hold for my business idea?"

I decided to use a 7-card horseshoe spread that I'd been wanting to try, and the card numbers as as follows:

1         2

3         4

5   6    7

So here goes:

                                

(P.S.: Sorry for the dark picture- it was at night and the light was dim!!!)

Firstly, the Ace of Wands jumped out during shuffling, which felt significant in terms of the question presented.

Card #1, The Past - 9 of Pentacles: I haven't been using reversals, but after some consideration I felt strongly that the reversed meaning of this card was true for Jason.  For a long time he's felt a sense of frustration in the development of his plans, and the deep desire to be successful and economically stable.  He longs to be able to enjoy the fruits of his labors, but has had a hard time figuring out how to make his hopes real.  He's often had the sense of his plans and dreams being thwarted by the everyday issues that come up and get in the way.

Card #2, The Present - 6 of Cups: The image on the card is a man seated in a house, looking out at two children at play.  This represents Jason as he's been spending a long time as a stay-at-home-Dad.  While he loves spending time with his kids, he also has the feeling that all the time he spends focusing on taking care of them distracts him from approaching his career goals with a clear mind.

Card #3, Underlying Influences - The Princess (Page) of Pentacles: This is a cool card; it represents the fact that Jason has an opportunity to take the idea and early beginnings of his business idea and turn it into a successful endeavor as long as he puts in effort and works steadily toward his goals.

Card #4, Potential Obstacles - 4 of Pentacles: This represents the need to be financially conscientious.  While Jason desperately wants to be able to have economic flexibility, he needs to keep in mind that it's a process.  While he may find success with his business ultimately, it's important to make budgets and adhere to them in order to maintain balance, especially because in order to grow the business Jason needs to invest some amount of money, and the family as a whole is operating on limited income.

Card #5, The Environment - Queen of Wands: I felt that this represents Jason's wife (my friend).  In one way it represents the reality of her balancing her career with her family.  In another way it represents the positive and creative environment that she provides Jason, supporting him to find his way and grow his business idea.

Card #6, Advice - 7 of Cups: This is an important card.  It represents Jason himself, laying casually on his side and watching the opportunities floating before him.  While the road hasn't been easy, and there have bee a lot of distractions along the way, to some degree Jason has been getting in his own way by feeling overwhelmed by the possibilities and routes for growing a successful business.  When feeling overwhelmed, he tends to sit back and think for too long about what he "could" do, which creates a sense of frustration and confusion, and limits the action he takes.  This card says that in order to move ahead he's going to have to make a decision about what route he wants to take, and move toward making it happen.  It also advises Jason to stop getting lost in his dreams of an ideal future which may not be realistic at the moment, and start working with the resources he has at hand.

Card #7, Outcome - The Lovers: This is an encouraging card.  It suggests that if Jason follows the advice card, he'll ultimately reach a sense of fulfillment.  Card #6 shows a man on a rock ledge peering into a pool of water in which sit all the possibilities he could choose from, that might lead to happiness and success.  The Lovers represent the union of desire with reality.

All in all there were two court cards and one trump card. The court cards being in the positions of underlying influences and environment suggests positive energy, and the trump is a promising card in the future outcome position. There were three earths, two waters, one fire, and one air.  The Queen of Wands (fire) next to the 7 of Cups (water) may indicate (trying to incorporate the dignities!) that Jason's wife is a positive support, but not critical to the final outcome - that lies in Jason.  There is a lot of desire and dreaming happening, but not a lot of focused energy on creation and decision-making, though the Princess of Pentacles does show promise for creating a firm basis for a new project.  However the "extra" card, the Ace of Wands, indicates that there is creative energy under the surface which will be able to spring forth if Jason can manage to focus his business goals into a workable plan, and the air element of the Lovers indicates that in order to find success he'll have to be more rational and decisive as well.

I was worried about not being able to connect with a brand new deck, but after trimming it (which was a difficult decision, and not one I imagined I'd ever make!) and performing a consecration and charging ritual, I feel good about them, and felt my accuracy was high on the first go, which is a tremendous relief!

However here is my fear as it relates to reading strangers: 

So far I am familiar with everyone I've read.  I've never read a complete stranger.  I was wondering how I might have interpreted this spread had it been for a stranger who, let's say, only gave me a succinct question to work with, and no background info...?  I know that in person you can, and should, ask questions, carry on a conversation with your client.  But what if it's via email?  Would I have intuited that the 9 of Pentacles should be read in reverse?  Would I have come to the conclusion that the 6 of Cups represents a literal situation?  I know I'm learning, and sometimes there is a delay between the time I see some of the cards and the moment I have a good idea of what it means.  But this is what scares me about providing strong and helpful readings for people I don't know.  Food for thought!

Daily Draw - Reviewing Results

So today my daily draw was the 7 of Pentacles.  Again, it took me a little time to get my ahead around it.  I always think of these cards as being my advice for the day, or in some way representing the theme I'll be experiencing.  As mentioned before, I've been dealing with an issue of plagiarism with one of my students, and the resulting consequences for him, and in a way for me (I am treading new ground, here, because I've never had to deal with a problem of this nature before).

The problem has been solved, technically, but then it was still in a state of uncertainty about how to implement the solution that had been decided upon - again, new territory.  Now things seem to be coming together. The path wasn't easy, but today I'm starting to feel like things have finally been sorted out, and my questions about how things would work out practically have been answered, in a positive way.  The work the student has to do for the rest of the current semester is being completed (with me as a guide), and I'm spending time reflecting on how we got here, while at the same time feeling relieved that all the wrinkles have been ironed out.

This is what the 7 of Pentacles is telling me: a time of reflection; no longer needing to be spending so much time getting everything worked out; seeing the positive results of the negative situation, including all the work I put into it (emotional and mental).  I'll take it!

Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot