Be Good to Yourself

My morning ritual for the past handful of months has involved putting coffee on to brew, and sitting down to pull a card or two for various Instagram challenges. I enjoy these Tarot/oracle challenges because they give a focal point for the day (one I don't have to think up myself). But this morning I looked at the prompts for both of those I'm participating in and shrugged. Neither appealed to me. I sat there staring for a while - should I look up a spread? Do a Celtic Cross (those are informative and familiar, but maybe too many cards for now)? No... as I sat there a three-card spread materialized in my mind, something simple and "just right" for my mood:

How do I feel?
What do I need?
How can I get it?

I felt moody yesterday, that old and familiar impulse to be alone, to not have to talk with anyone, to not have to be around other people. The hermit and the cave. I don't feel much different today. But having just come out of a hurricane that shut the city down for a week, I have so much to tend to at work, and a lot of people who rely on my support. My weekly reading "warned" me of these feelings. Sitting on the couch this morning I started to daydream about taking a day off, and how amazing it would feel to be able to take a day to decompress. Then I remembered the 7 of Cups from that weekly reading: "if you can imagine it, you can make it happen." Making my own needs a priority, if not the only one. Perhaps I could make it work? I decided to draw my cards:

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot - Uusi 

How do I feel? 5 of Wands rx
What do I need? Queen of Pentacles rx
How can I get it? 8 of Cups rx

All reversals certainly reflect the choppy energy moving through me at present. The 5 of Wands speaks to a sense of inner conflict - my internal and external worlds not combining well. That is very much the case. I sit here reviewing my schedule for the day, and I don't want any of it. And yet I'm not sure I can relinquish those responsibilities.

The Queen of Pentacles tells me that I should focus on taking care of myself, on addressing the needs that aren't being met; she asks me to be good to myself. This Queen gazes over at the 5 of Wands, perhaps aware that it is the source (at least in part) of her discontent. She gives me permission to honor my personal, intimate priorities, rather than brushing them off in the face of the busy-ness surrounding me.

The 8 of Cups reflects a desire to abandon it all - to walk away. And yet inverted it shows that I'm not convinced that I can, or should. But this is about getting what I need, so what about finding a balance? I started to reflect on my day today, on what I ought to be present for (a morning meeting), and what I may be able to release in order to make space for myself (perhaps completing some work from home in the afternoon). As I thought, I realized that I do have some wiggle room. I do have options. And suddenly my day started to take on a different hue.

Tarot Thursday Three: New Decks

Tarot Thursday Three is a set of weekly prompts for "mystical" bloggers begun by Julia from Spiral Sea Tarot and I thought I would participate today for the first time!

Question 1

What do you do with a deck you don't connect with?

"Connecting" with a deck is a rather mysterious process. For the decks I don't keep reaching for, they tend to collect on a divination bookshelf that I have in the living room. All decks have interesting perspectives to offer via their arrangement, artwork, themes, etc. I have yet to acquire a deck that I don't like, but I do have a lot that don't inspire me to work with them very often. One such deck - the Raven's Prophecy - has become my glove compartment deck, in case of emergency. Sometimes, if I feel like I need a divinatory "breath of fresh air," I'll pull one out to read with. And it's worth mentioning that I don't always read with the decks I like a lot. For instance, the Dark Goddess Tarot is spectacular, but I only pull it out from time to time.

The Raven's Prophecy Tarot lives in my glove compartment

Question 2

How long do you give yourself to connect with a new deck?

I don't time the process. If I find myself called to use a deck over and over, then I know there is something special there. That said, usually I know how it's going to go if after a week or two the deck is gathering dust. To date there is only one deck that I've used with great consistency over a relatively long period of time, and that is the Pagan Otherworlds Tarot, by Uusi. (I reviewed the deck in this post). That doesn't mean it's the only deck that I connect with, but I would say that perhaps it's my "the one." ;)

Question 3

What consecration ritual(s) do you use with new divination tools?

Nuttin'. I think fondly back to my early divination days when I would smudge every single card of a new deck in sage smoke, and "charge them with my intentions." Perhaps I'm old and crotchety now, but saging them (or not) doesn't impact my readings for better or for worse, doesn't help me focus more deeply, and doesn't open my intuition to more profound messages. So I don't bother!

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot: A Review

This is the deck. As in, “the” deck – the one that hits all the right places, the one I can’t put down, the one with all the right feels, overflowing with soul.

My ideal deck would have:

• reversible backs
• little-to-no text on the card fronts
• not a single card I don’t really like
• been produced by an independent publisher
• the feel of a very useable work of art
• quality artwork
• an essence of timelessness 
• excellent card stock
• card images that are complete and balanced, but not overfull 
• at least slightly illustrated minors (enough for the intuition to dig into)
• art that clearly highlights traditional card meanings 
• that special “something” 

So, that said, the Pagan Otherworlds Tarot fulfills each and every item on this list. It’s a tall order, I know. But like I said, this is the one!

The down and dirty:

• 78 cards 
• 1 additional Major (the Seeker)
• 5 “Luna” cards (representing the moon cycle)
• Strength VIII, Justice XI
• Page, Knight, Queen, King
• reversible backs with a beautiful floral image
• high quality tuck box
• mainly RWS styling with some influence from Marseilles
• excellent stock with a linen finish
• company: Uusi
• creators: Linnea Gits and Peter Dunham

This deck arrived to my home wrapped in a foam sheath upon which a small sprig of cedar was attached. A cloth card bag featuring the company’s name (Uusi) was included along with the shipping invoice. Each deck features a different herb or plant – some people received their decks along with lavender, or sage, for example. It’s a beautiful touch.

The box itself features the same design as the card backs, and feels like it was produced by someone who really knows, and loves, cards. This is the case, of course. Aside from this deck, Uusi has created a number of playing card decks, a Tarot deck called the BRuT Tarot, and they are currently working on a third Tarot deck called Eros: The Garden of Love. (They do make a few other things, such as advent calendars and wooden knife racks!)

Small details like a custom paper stamp that seals the tuck box and small printed messages in the fold of the box top add to the exquisite experience of handling this creation for the first time.

When I pulled the cards out of their box I noticed immediately that they move effortlessly over one another – no stickiness, no slight catching that sometimes occurs with matte finishes. These cards were meant to be shuffled, and I even think that the process of shuffling was intended to be a part of the overall enormous pleasure of preparing to read with this deck. If you have it, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

I have heard some people express concern that the numbered Minor Arcana may be “pips” however this is not really the case. Yes, each card shows the correct number of elemental items for the suit, and no, there are no people (for the most part). But if you look at each card you will find an abundance of scenic imagery that connect with traditional RWS meaning.

Take for instance the 4 of Swords. With three swords upright (blades downward) and a single sword perpendicular to them on the ground, it mirrors the RWS version which shows three swords hanging on a wall over a stone knight, with one sword horizontal along the tomb.

The 7 of Wands shows one upright rod with six others crossed in front of it. It certainly gives the impression of advocacy, standing for what you believe in, rising to meet a challenge.

The 4 of Wands shares an unmistakable connection to the traditional RWS version, with four rods standing upright and decorated with celebratory garlands.

Even the 3 of Wands features an ocean in the background with ships either coming or going.

The tree in the 8 of Pentacles exudes the idea of growth and development. In the 5 of Cups you’ll notice that the three central cups are upside down, while the two on either side are upright. The skull below calls to mind past regrets, and mourning.

All of the Court cards are stunning. I particularly love the Queens and the Knights. There is such elegant movement in the shape of the horses that the Knights ride. Here we also see the 6 of Swords showing a boat riding through water!

Just look at this Queen of Pentacles...

The Majors are sedately spectacular as well. The Hierophant is dressed in animal skins, and holds a stang in his right hand. He is the keeper of tradition, the village vitki.

The Chariot shows a warrior in a cart pulled by two energetic rams, one black, one white.

The Sun depicts a quite traditional child riding a white horse, a kindly celestial orb floating above.

This morning I pulled a card asking, “What energy should I honor today?” I pulled the Ace of Pentacles, inviting me to count the many blessings in my life.

One of those happens to be the Pagan Otherworlds Tarot, and I cannot recommend it highly enough.

The Queen of Coins in the Kitchen!

This morning I drew the Queen of Coins from my new Chinese Tarot. I must admit that the image on this card is quite decadent and rich, very befitting of this particular queen of earthly and material things. She is dressed from head to toe in luxurious textiles in deep reds, oranges, and golds, with touches of green and blue. She looks rather plump which suggests that she eats well, and with all those robes she likely won't be doing much other than sitting and enjoying the wealth of her surroundings!

Chinese Tarot - US Games Systems

When I saw this card I immediately thought of my sister, who is here visiting me for a short time. She is a couple of years older than I am, and has always been very nurturing and affectionate - even now, well into our adult years. Today when I said, "We can just have leftover soup for dinner..." she cut me off and said, "Oh no! I'm cooking. Let's think about what we want, and go to the grocery store!" She proceeded to plan out the menu (I let her have at it as her style is very different than mine) and I pushed the cart around while she filled it up. I'm lucky to have her, and I'm really looking forward to enjoying the fruits of her kitchen labor!

Lammas Blog Hop 2014: Remembering to Nurture Yourself

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Welcome to the Tarot Blog Hop! To navigate to more wonderful blogs in this circle, please use the links above, or at the bottom of this post!

For this Lammas Blog Hop our lovely wrangler Joanna Ash, from Sun Goddess Tarot, asked us to consider how the energy of the Queen of Pentacles manifests in our lives. This topic came at a particularly interesting and important time for me, as my typical nurturing role as mother and wife had been entirely turned on its head for the month of July: my husband was gallivanting about Europe, and our three children were spending vacation time with their grandparents. That meant….that I was alone!

I love having alone time. But it’s one thing to carve out bits of alone time while balancing children, dinner, work, bath time, date night, studying, divination, etc. etc. etc. It’s quite another thing to have a large block of alone time placed gently in your lap, the Universe looking you in the eye as if to say, “What will you do with the time you’re given?” Oh easy… I’ll go to the bookstore and browse for hours on end! I’ll head over to the library, pick out some books, and camp out all afternoon at that table in the far back corner where no one ever goes. I’ll go to a movie all by myself! How wonderful that will be!

Crystal Tarot by Elisabetta Trevisan
Lo Scarabeo/Llewellyn 2000

It is wonderful. There’s just a bit more to it than that. With no family serving as my anchor I was left entirely unmoored, ungrounded, unearthed. The first thing that hit me was the empty space. I was really alone. No noises of chattering children, no husband out mowing the back lawn. Just silence and my own thoughts.

The second thing I started to realize was that I had no idea what to do with myself. I don’t mean that I was at a loss for activity, per se, I just had no sense of how to regiment my time. That first day, I worked for nearly 8 hours, came home and spent three hours cleaning, doing laundry, organizing… only to realize I’d entirely forgotten to feed myself, and I was ravenous!  So I threw together a simple meal: a veggie burger on a bagel, some carrot sticks and frozen peas. Why bother cooking a proper dinner when no one is there to enjoy it?

So without a family to structure my time, I had to start to guide myself. I made a list of the things that I needed to do so that I could check those off bit by bit, but I also started to build in time for the things that I actually wanted to do. One day I left work and instead of heading home (to clean, do laundry, and organize!), I decided to keep driving, and finally managed to get to the bookstore. I plopped myself right down on the floor of an aisle and thumbed through books, reading for an hour. Almost bliss! Except then I remembered that once again I’d forgotten to eat! There seems to be a learning curve when it comes to caring for oneself! So I headed home to another veggie burger, another plate of carrots and peas.

DruidCraft Tarot - S./P. Carr-Gomm
Will Worthington
St. Martin's Press

Eventually I decided that I really needed to feed myself properly. I realized that I cook primarily because I have to take care of people, because I want my children to eat well, and because doing that for them gives me pleasure. Here I was alone, not cooking at all, and not finding much pleasure in the thought of putting that effort and creativity forth for…just…me! So I went to the grocery store and purchased some things to make a good meal for myself. When you’re used to feeding five people, it’s quite an experience shopping for one. I learned that a single russet potato is more than enough to make myself a side of mashed potatoes! Who knew? I even picked a tomato from the garden for my salad. And instead of multitasking while I ate my first hot meal, I put on a movie and simply sat there, enjoying my food, and focusing on just that one thing.

I was alone for nearly a month, but instead of remaining listless I took advantage of that time to replant my feet in the ground of my own, individual life. I did clean quite a bit admittedly, and I figured out (eventually) how to enjoy feeding myself appropriately. I acquired books I’d been wanting to read but never made time for  (and I read them). I took my many floating ideas, brought them down to eye-level, and determined which I truly wanted to pursue and which I could release (kind of like cleaning out the mental closet). I enjoyed a fat piece of chocolate cake, all for me!

The Queen of Pentacles nurtures her family and her home. She protects her children, and works to provide a healthy and comfortable environment for her dear ones. There is immense value in that! But there is just as much value in learning how to care for and nurture oneself. When I was temporarily stripped of my familial responsibilities, it gifted me the opportunity to realize how little I prioritize my own needs. I don’t think this is entirely a bad thing – when you’re a parent, this is often what you do, and it’s usually out of deep love. But there must be a balance, and by becoming aware of my own needs, and learning how to tend to those needs, I can work to find a healthy and happy balance between caring for others and caring for myself (turning the reversed Queen upright again).

Queen of Pentacles Activity

Find your favorite Queen of Pentacles/Earth from whatever deck you like. Study the image. How does she make you feel? What do you love about this particular Queen of Pentacles? How might you see yourself in her, and how might you see her as a part of yourself? Set the card down, in view – she will be the center card for the rest of the activity.  Shuffle your deck and pull a card for each of the following questions:

1) In what ways am I neglecting my own needs?

2) How can I better nurture myself? 

Lay one card down on each side of your Queen. What do your cards tell you about yourself? How can you allow yourself to be inspired to action in regards to self-care?

Make this a journal entry that you can reflect on, and keep track of your own efforts to be good to yourself.

Thoth Tarot - A. Crowley/F. Harris
U.S. Games Systems, Inc.

That concludes this Lammas BlogHop post, and I wish you all many harvest blessings! I encourage you to keep moving through the circle of wonderful divination writers: look both at the top of the post and along the bottom to find the links to continue your journey!

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Tarot's Take on Black Friday

I was hanging out with my kids this evening thinking about what the stores must have been like for those people brave enough to go shopping. I definitely understand the desire to save money, but this day has always both intrigued and horrified me. I have gone out on Black Friday afternoons in the past and found a few unexpected gifts that did seem like great deals. It's never been madness. I figure the crazy people have probably already finished their trips long before 2pm hits, and are snoring happily in their beds by the time I've worked up the courage to show my mug in public. So, for fun, I decided to ask the Tarot to tell me about this extension of Thanksgiving, and here is what it said (using the Halloween Tarot by Karin Lee and Kipling West):

Ten Pumpkins (Pentacles):

The piñata scene brings to mind the businesses luring buyers in with the idea of cheap prices (some of which are apparently not great deals, in reality). The pumpkins in the tree seem symbolic of the crowds rushing out to buy, buy, buy - some enjoying themselves, others perhaps a bit unhappy (maybe because they realized that it was a bad idea to leave the house, or because they missed out on that amazing TV deal). The black cat certainly looks a bit nervous. Pentacles (Pumpkins) are related to wealth, and the 10 is really the pinnacle of comfortable, family-oriented money (and in a way, giving gifts)...and well, Black Friday is all about spending that money in preparation (in part) for Christmas!

9 Ghosts (Cups) reversed:

My first thought when I saw this card was: "excess." Over doing it. Sitting on (or wrapping your entire body around)  the new Xbox at Radio Shack so that noone else gets their grubby mitts on it. You think you're happy, that scoring that sweet deal was a dream come true, but for some it may be an empty happiness, and despite the low price you still may have just used part of your rent money to pay for it.

Queen Pumpkins (Pentacles) reversed:

This is the person who's too focused on the good deals, on saving serious money, to be able to properly enjoy the true spirit of the holiday. She/he won't feel complete until they've driven across town to get those Deerfoam slippers that are marked down by 50% - for three hours only!!  This person may be almost too anxious to provide amazing loot under the tree. The intention might be good, but s/he's over-concerned with the idea that s/he's getting a great deal. This is the person who doesn't nurture themself by getting a good night's sleep because they've spent 39 hours in a tent outside the doors to Best Buy, or because they woke up at midnight to start their shopping excursion.

Okay, there you have it, Black Friday in a Tarot nutshell! I hope the shoppers did well, the small businesses made a nice profit, and that I won't see any stories about Wal-Mart trampling deaths when I check the news later ;-)