The Illusion of Permanence

I was walking near the shores of Secret Lake yesterday morning when I noticed a rather large ant mound rising up out of the grass and beginning to spill out onto the sidewalk. It was so complete, so busy, that I had to stop for a moment to appreciate the work. Between a smattering of tiny holes, red ants scurried with clear purpose, some carrying what appeared to be tiny larva. It was an active community of living beings that had spent countless hours, perhaps days, on the creation of their sandy home.

And in that moment I realized how terribly precarious it all was. One child mesmerized by the movement could, with a single excited swipe, destroy it completely. Or perhaps someone riding a bike, or a heavy rain storm, or even a park maintenance person out mowing the lawn. Any of these things could, in an instant, erase this ant town from the surface of the earth (temporarily though it be). And in fact it most certainly would happen.

But the cool thing about ants is that when the fruits of their endless labor are washed away, they will simply rebuild. Which got me to thinking about fluctuation and the impermanence of life. There are many cards in a Tarot deck that can point to instability and change. Some of the obvious cards include Death and the Tower. Some others include the Wheel, the 4 of Wands reversed (I call this the 'transition' card), and even the 8 of Cups.

Last week I pulled a card from my Viking Cards deck in a moment when I was feeling a bit oppressed by the movement in my life. I believe my actual question was: "What is happening to me?"  The card I drew was Sleipnir: Changes.

Viking Cards
U.S. Games Systems, 1997

I think I actually laughed out loud when I saw it, and said, "Yep!!!" What I found most helpful about this card was the correlation to Odin's mystical, 8-legged horse, Sleipnir, who is often described in the Sagas as being the wind that Odin rides to other dimensions. I love that concept. The book, written by Gudrun Bergmann, states:

"The Changes may be like the strong summer winds that blow across Iceland's interior and stir up a lot of dust, so that even the Sun is overshadowed and one cannot see clearly. But such winds also subside. Sleipnir tells you not to fight the changes, but to jump on his back and ride the winds of Change (pg. 88)."

There is something particularly revitalizing about the idea of jumping onto Sleipnir's back and riding forth into the great unknown; change abounds, but you're never without excellent company. Like the ants' intricate hills, like Tibetan Sand Mandalas, or Navajo sand paintings, changes are necessary, inevitable, and learning to embrace the movement is both empowering and healing.

Mud Dauber Wasp: Beautiful Persistence

Here in Florida we have a lot of interesting flora and fauna. One particular insect that I've come to admire and enjoy (as strange as it may seem) is the mud dauber wasp. Mud dauber wasps are solitary creatures, so while you may see several flying about your property, they never gather or create communal nests. They are very industrious which becomes clear when you see the mud cells that they build. A single female will build a collection of little tubes, one on top of the other, and in each she will place a few (or more) paralyzed spiders and an egg. Then she seals it up and moves on the to next. After creating a series of these, she will fly away. Her eggs slowly develop until the young wasps are full size, at which point they consume the paralyzed spiders for initial sustenance before breaking free from their cell and flying out into the wide world.

A mud dauber "village" with a cell being built
Credit: O. Destrades

I have spent quite a lot of time observing these wasps as they tend to their little "villages." We currently have one in the upper corner of our front door, and I've watched with great admiration as a single cocoon-like mud tube grew into three, then five, then eight. She finally stopped when she reached somewhere around the 12-mark. She would fly back and forth developing layer after earthen layer - I could even see the ripples in the walls of each little structure, evidence of each trip she made with fresh mud, like rings of a tree. I would see an open cavern, and could even make out the faint impression of spider legs within. Then later in the evening as I would come or go, I would see that the hole had been sealed, and she was now prepared to work on the next.

Mud Dauber wasps are not aggressive at all, and prefer to keep the peace rather than attack (unless clearly threatened). This is why I treat them as friendly neighbors for the duration of their stay at my doorway. And once all of the wasps have flown the nest, I will harvest what remains, crumble it into a fine powder, and store it away for use in future rootwork.

Mud dauber nests are often utilized for work focused on fidelity in love or commerce, such as attracting and keeping clients to a business, specifically because these wasps always return to the same place to build their mud villages. Even for practical purposes mud dauber nests come in handy: you can powder and carefully filter the mud from a dauber's nest and use it to help cure and prevent diaper rash in infants.

If you should like to harvest your own mud dauber nest, just remember to be mindful of ecology, and try to be sure that the wasps have abandoned it first.

Lusting for Connection, Owning Our Selves

Strength is one of my favorite cards in any deck - not because I've always been innately drawn to it (like I am to the Hermit, for instance), but because it has presented itself to me consistently over time, showing up in important, deeply meaningful ways. It resonates with me on a profound level; I've come to love it and value what it's taught me.

Strength is titled "Lust" in the Thoth deck. It's one of my favorite depictions of the card in the palpable rawness of energy, passion, and vibrance that emanates from Babalon astride the great Beast. It's interesting, the cultural associations with the term "lust," and what it means. Though at its core it signifies deep desire and longing, it has over time come to represent this impulse primarily in the context of human sexuality, and in particular female sexuality, something that has been stigmatized in many ways throughout time. Many attempts have been made (since the beginning of time, perhaps) to dampen, control, and subdue the sexuality of women, precisely because it is the source of great power. In so many ways, it is the womb of all of humanity.

XI. Lust
Crowley/Harris; U.S. Games Systems

Babalon is a woman, a mother, a creatrix, who entirely owns who and what she is. She is not a whore, she is the source of all that we are, sculptor of the energetic depths of her counterpart, Chaos. She owns her sexual power (upon delving deep, deep down, it becomes clear that energy is energy is energy, and sexual energy is an aspect of divine energy - Lust is not only about sexual energy, but all energy, raw force, which includes sexual energy as a source of vibrant, spiritual power).

On the most mundane levels, Strength, Lust, is inner power, strength of character, confidence and self-understanding. It is primal ferocity, tempered by intellect and wisdom. It is compassion and love. It is the divine spark within us.

I absolutely love what Lon Milo Duquette wrote about this card in his book titled, Understanding Aleister Crowley's Thoth Tarot (Weiser Books, 2003):

The supreme spiritual message of this card may be summed up something like this: Eventually each of us will come to a level of consciousness so profoundly high that the only level higher is the universal consciousness of deity itself. Our dissolution into the infinite is the ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate marriage. Deity lusts for that moment when all her children will return to her. Someday, each one of us will also lust for that moment (pg. 127).

May Day Blog Hop 2015: Hard is Real

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Welcome to the May 1st 2015 Tarot Blog Hop! Please use the links at the top and bottom of this post to navigate through the circle of bloggers. Our wrangler, Morgan Drake Eckstein, has asked us to discuss the "difficult" cards in the Tarot deck, such as the Tower, Death, 10 of Swords, 3 of Swords, and the Devil. How do we work with cards like these? What do we tell clients? 

Last July I wrote a post about Death which covers the essence of how I feel about this topic. I'd like to repost it here, but first I want to mention some additional thoughts I have about why these cards are so important, and how versatile they really are:

Pamela Colman Smith Commemorative Deck
U.S. Games Systems

1) It's a slight misconception that receiving "difficult" cards in a reading is always a turn-off; sometimes it’s cathartic to receive a card like Death, or the 3 of Swords, in a reading because it acknowledges where we’re at. Sometimes all we really need is to know that we’re not struggling in a vacuum.

2) Without light, there is no shadow. We feel relief because we struggle. We hurt because we have loved. The dawn can only come after the night has passed (you get the idea). We read for the whole story, not for an idealized version of reality. Grief is part of life. To erase, or minimize, the difficult cards would be to ignore and gloss over the deeply real, painful, important parts of what it is to be alive. (I'll talk more about this in regards to Death, below)

3) Cards have degrees of intensity (even upright). Sometimes the 10 of Swords signifies a painful ending, but sometimes it’s back pain or exhaustion. The 3 of Swords can mean heartbreak or betrayal, but it can also highlight a sense of disappointment or subtle loneliness.

4) Change isn’t always external, or relationship-based; it doesn’t always mean that your house is going to burn down, or that job loss is imminent. Sometimes it’s about our inner worlds, our perspectives on life. The Tower can represent sudden illumination, a breakthrough that changes your understanding of a situation, or of yourself. It can be transformative and exhilarating, surprising, maybe, but not necessarily disastrous. And if it covers a short span of time, it can be perfectly mundane (the Tower was my weekly draw once when my cell phone fell and broke and my car battery died).

These cards are here for a purpose. They are just as crucial and necessary as the Star, the Sun, and the 2 of Cups. We should not edit the Tarot deck (as we discussed last Hop); if anything we should edit, or clarify, our intentions, release our expectations, prior to requesting, or conducting, a reading.  If we can approach the reading process with an open heart and a discerning mind, great insight, truth, and healing is available, no matter what cards appear in our spread. 

Silver Witchcraft Tarot - XVI Tower
Moore/Rivoli, Llewellyn Publications

Now I want to share a post that I composed specifically about the Death card, titled "Death Isn't Just a New Beginning":

"I've read several times recently (and it comes up quite a lot) that Death is nothing to be scared of, it simply means a new beginning, and isn't that wonderful?

I think this happens because of the over-vilification of Death in the past, especially on television shows or in the movies, where the card was played up as a symbol of impending doom, and usually physical death. There are many readers that want to make the card more friendly by now playing up the "new chapter" of life that is a natural result of big change, but I think that mindset, while understandable, robs the work that Death does, detracts from the importance of its process in our lives.

Because Death is a process. It's not called the "New Beginning" card because before something new (regardless of how wonderful it is) can begin, something else has to end. And with endings comes mourning, struggle, fear, and loss. And those are challenging emotions to experience, but there is great catharsis in allowing that grief to unfold. Anyone who has experienced the energy of the Death card understands that there is far more to it than a nice new start (even though if we have any awareness of what that new phase might be, it may serve as a nice focal point for us while we're in the trenches). It's work! It's sad, and it hurts, and at the same time there is a touching beauty to it because it's a sacred aspect of the experience of being alive, and of growth.

Vision Quest Tarot
Winter/Dose, U.S. Games Systems

I hope that all readers honor that sacred space if Death should appear in a reading. Rather than rushing to the "happy ending," place value on the journey involved.  It's true that having to convey difficult messages is a skill readers must work on (and one that takes time to develop) and sometimes it's easier to play up the sunny part - the new start - but it's really an art worth honing so that the full and powerful message that Death symbolizes isn't lost in translation.

I read a wonderful quote today that quite honestly made me cry, and it's the truest definition of the Death card (and some many recognize the Tower here as well) that I've ever read, and I want to share it with you:

“Whatever can be threatened, whatever can be shaken, whatever you fear cannot stand, is destined to crash. Do not go down with the ship. Let that which is destined to become the past slip away. Believe that the real you is that which beckons from the future. If it is a sadder you, it will be a wiser one. And dawn will follow the darkness sooner or later. Rebirth can never come without death.” 

― Robert M. Price"

Finally, in honor of all of those "difficult" cards, here is a powerful, soul-piercing song from Ulali about death, healing, and honoring our ancestors:

Happy May Day, Happy Beltane, Happy Hopping!

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2 of Swords: Eye of the Hurricane

The 2 of Swords is a great card.  It speaks eloquently of an experience we've all had at one time or another in our lives; a very specific moment, a frame of mind whose presence in the deck demonstrates so well just how aptly the Tarot can highlight our at-times subtle, yet poignant, dilemmas. So what does it mean? Denial? Avoidance? Inner peace? Inability to make a decision? Yeah, sure, it can be all of those things, and yet its cooked-down essence is far more interesting than any of those things.

First I want to briefly discuss that essence, and then I want to explore a few different manifestations of it across a selection of decks....

The 2 of Swords is actually rather painful, or at best uncomfortable. I like the "inner peace" idea, but the peace here not a harmonic one; it is more of a tentative pause, or momentary withdrawal from a struggle, kind of like the eye of a hurricane. But the hurricane is not a tempest ripping trees out by the roots around you; rather it occurs within you. If anything, the "peace" is what happens around you while your insides are threatening to knock you to your knees. Someone could look at you and see a perfectly calm, relaxed individual, never sensing the turmoil happening within.

The 2 of Swords is about facing a decision, yes. A decision between two crucial options where one is neither considerably better, nor considerably worse, than the other.....and yet, in the end, you must choose one, or else risk one of them being chosen for you (which isn't really the way you want to go down, now is it!).

In effect this is a formal "draw" of the intellect. In some cases there may be some amount of denial, but oftentimes there is perfect clarity about what is to be done (this, or that), but the seeming impossibility of the choice to be made leads the person in question to put it off for as long as possible.

This is the essence of the 2 of Swords.

Silver Witchcraft Tarot

I love this version from the Silver Witchcraft Tarot. This woman sits in the snow as if frozen in time, an athame in each hand. Roses or daisies? She is blindfolded and can't see the outcome of the decision that she will have to make. She weighs the blades in either hand, trying to sense which might be best, but their heft is the same. Butterflies surround each blade, suggesting that perhaps either choice will be okay when all is said and done. And in the end, when she finally makes her choice, she will only see roses, or daisies. She won't see what might have been, only what is. Fortunately, both flowers are beautiful, both smell sweet - they are different from each other, but both offer something positive.

Anna K Tarot

The depiction in the Anna K Tarot is quite apt for the energy of this card. A man stands inside the warmth of a building, perhaps his home. He looks away from the open and unguarded doorway, where two swords stand blocking the raging sea beyond. The moon shines above, his feelings are in uproar. The two swords almost seem to protect him, but they can't really do the job; the sand is already pushing inside. This man is taking a final moment of tranquility to gather his thoughts, but very soon he'll have to face his decision, pulling the swords out of the ground, and confronting the moon beyond.

Deviant Moon Tarot

The Deviant Moon 2 of Swords shows the inner battle being fought between two equally viable, and perhaps equally challenging, possibilities. There is a single pair of legs, with two torsos facing each other - a man battling himself. What I like about this version is that it highlights the inner conflict inherent in being at a crossroads where one path must be selected, and though the potential consequences may be great, they are essentially unknowable. There is no clear, best way.

When this card appears in a reading you might ask yourself:

What decision am I struggling to make?
What might help me achieve clarity regarding my current situation? 
What are the positives in each option?
What, if any, are my deal-breakers?
What can I live with, even if it isn't ideal?
What am I most afraid of?
How realistic are my fears?  

Don't forget that sometimes it's best to let things simmer for a while. If you aren't pressed to sign a contract, put it on the back burner for some time and try to see the forest for the trees: drink good tea, watch some bad T.V., and come back to the issue when the pressure has eased. You never know what helpful insights will pop up when you set your intellect to "idle" for a little while.

A Road Map to Peace

I was watching Telemundo a few days ago when a Tarot reader popped on the screen to give each astrological sign a mini (as in 5 second) reading for the week. My first thought was: "They would never have a regular reader like this on English-language television." And then I took a look at his cards. I noticed that he was using a combination of two decks: an oracle that I didn't recognize, and the Osho Zen Tarot. For each sign he would pick a card from each deck, give rapid advice, and move on to the next. I wondered if he chose the Osho Zen deck because each card features a keyword that the reader could latch onto, which would facilitate this quick-fire style he was using in order to fit into his very limited time bracket. Or maybe he just thinks it's pretty.

It certainly has vibrant colors, and works as both a Tarot and an oracle, really. I decided to pull my own Osho Zen deck out for some general guidance, because I have a lot on my plate at the moment! I centered on the question: "What do I need to focus on in order to find peace and clarity?"

I pulled: 4 of Earth (The Miser), XVII Star (Silence), and XIV Temperance (Integration).

Osho Zen Tarot
Osho and Ma Deva Padma
St. Martin's Press, 1995

The Miser sprouts out of a stone wall, embracing mounds of gold and gems. She doesn't want to let go, but she doesn't look particularly healthy in her current situation. This makes sense to me, because in many ways I've been very focused on stability and security lately. In one important way I'm reluctantly anticipating some pretty big changes coming up that will impact my environment significantly, albeit for a finite amount of time. My husband is preparing to return to Europe for work, and may be gone for several months. Meanwhile my children will be heading north to spend eight weeks with their grandparents, as soon as school lets out for summer. Intellectually I can understand how all of this makes sense, and I know that it's temporary, and I am aware that there are many positives to this arrangement of events. But on an instinctual level I'm fighting it tooth and nail. I don't want my husband to be away again for three or more months, and I'm deeply frustrated that suitable work opportunities haven't presented themselves locally. I'm glad that my kids will spend time with my mother and step-dad. I know they'll have fun, and I know that they'll have more of a true vacation than I would be able to give them due to my own work schedule. But I can't stand the thought of them being gone for so long. It feels unnatural. So while I "know" everything will be fine, on a primal level I'm holding on tightly to everything.

All of that internal grappling is giving me a headache.

The Star in the Osho Zen deck is called "Silence." Just looking at the card reminds me of the peace of meditation, the centeredness that comes from spending some time going within. A face floats in space, stars hanging above, with the Moon shining over this person's 3rd eye. The Moon represents my fears, the dreaded anticipation of what's to come. Instead of fighting against it, I must invite it in and sit with it. What am I resisting? What am I afraid of? What's real and what's illusion? The Star encourages me to tap into my heart, to have faith that if I let go, things will be okay. When I'm feeling worried, I can close my eyes, and open myself to the guidance that is always available via my higher self, and the spirits that surround me.

The final card, Temperance, is titled "Integration." The instinctual over-attachment in The Miser has been illuminated and eased by the Silence in the Star, and has now reached a healing balance. This card tells me to honor my experience rather than trying to gloss over it. It doesn't have to feel good, and I don't have to reach a point where the lack of stability in my household doesn't bother me at all. All I have to do is understand that those feelings don't have to dominate my being. I will be able to visit my kids up north for a week or so, about half way through their visit. It won't be eight weeks straight with no contact. There is benefit to spending some time focusing on my Self, and I am very aware of how busy I am, and how little time I have for solitude. My husband will miss us, and we'll miss him, but I also know that the opportunity awaiting him is a very positive one, and that he needs to take advantage of it, for a multitude of reasons. I know it won't last forever, and he'll be back sooner than I think. I know that my children will have many adventures, and many stories to tell their friends when the school year starts again in August. I love that they will spend so much time with their grandparents, especially because since we live so far apart, quality time is more difficult to achieve.

In the color scheme of this reading, I see the sickly green of the Miser fade into the deep blue of inner mystery and hope, then bursting forth in the harmonic joy of rainbow colors in Temperance. It's a road map to peace. I think I'll frame it. ;-)

Deck Review: The Baseball Tarot

As I sat at my dining room table today, munching on a "party cake" flavored Peep (yes, it's pretty much as disgusting as it sounds), and sipping on a steaming mug of oolong tea, my eye wandered over to my divination shelf. I'm not sure why the Baseball Tarot called my name today (maybe because baseball fans are gearing up for the season?), but I decided to go with it!

This is a deck I never use, but I like it. It cost me less than a dollar online about a year ago, and at the time I figured that I couldn't go wrong at that price, so I pulled out my wallet and sent an e-penny through cyberspace. A couple of weeks later (it got lost in the mail) it finally arrived on my doorstep, the cards still wrapped in their cellophane from 1999.

The Baseball Tarot: Workman Publishing, 1999

The Baseball Tarot, by Mark Lerner and Laura Philips, would obviously be an excellent fit for a baseball fan - not even just a passing admirer of the sport, but someone who truly adores the game, and perhaps also happens to enjoy Tarot. Like most decks that feature a theme, most of the cards depict images or code words (like "Pick Off" or "Take") that the lay-person may not understand, or immediately associate with Tarot archetypes. Nevertheless, if you already understand the structure of a Tarot deck, you won't have any major issues. It would be a fun deck for a Tarot enthusiast who wants to learn more about baseball, and if you "get" the deck as a reader, it could also be fun to use to read for baseball fans.

Five of Bats (Wands) "Rhubarb"
Five of Balls (Swords) "Curve Ball"

Or, if you're like me, you might just never use the deck, but keep it anyway because it's awesome.

A couple of miscellaneous-yet-important notes about the cards to get out of the way first: the suits are designated in a non-traditional way, naturally: Bats = Wands, Balls = Swords, Mitts = Cups, Bases = Pentacles; and the backs are not entirely reversible, but designed in such a way that it's not too distracting.

Courts: Eleven of Mitts (Page of Cups)
MVP of Balls (King of Swords)
Coach of Bats (Queen of Wands)

It's worth mentioning that the Court cards have been treated in an interesting manner: Pages and Knights have been replaced with cards Eleven and Twelve of each suit (though the energy of each is in line with the traditional meaning). Queens are now Coaches, and Kings are MVPs (Most Valuable Players), but gender is interchanged here, so there are both men and women occupying these roles.

I like that the focus in the imagery is not only based on Major League baseball; community and Little League baseball is also represented, so there is a holistic feel. And not only are women and girls represented in the deck, but players of various ethnic backgrounds are featured as well; I appreciate the inclusiveness that the deck creators made a point to embrace - after all, baseball is for everyone! And hey, when I was 11 years old I was the only girl on an otherwise all-boys baseball team! (I was number 8, which thereafter became my lucky number) ;-).

V. The Manager (Hierophant) and IX. Reflection (Hermit)

Cards aside, the 324-page book is one of the best accompanying manuals I've ever read because not only is it well written, it's very thorough. The authors start off by welcoming both new and experienced readers, and discussing the endless ways that the cards can be used. They feature a variety of spreads, including a 12-card layout called "The Diamond," fashioned after a baseball field. There is also a long list of spread positions provided, and readers are encouraged to create their own custom spreads to suit their own purposes, which I think is wonderful.

The authors go on to explore each and every card in this 78-card deck, starting with the Majors and finishing with the Minors. For the Major Arcana, there are keywords as well as detailed narrative that make the connections between the baseball symbol and the Tarot archetype very clear. For the Minors they break down each card into a general meaning, and seven interpretations depending on how it manifests in your spread: "Ahead of the Count" (upright); "Behind in the Count" (reversed); "Player" (a person); "Signal" (advice); "Play" (actions); "Stuff" (feelings or mindsets); and "In the Ballpark" (questions that the reader might ask herself to explore the card's deeper relationship to a particular situation).

XVI. Whole New Ball Game (Tower)

Despite the abundance of "people in baseball uniforms," the deck is perfectly readable, and while I don't use it with any frequency, I value it highly for all of the reasons mentioned in this post. The book alone is a goldmine that is worth owning for any Tarot reader, no matter what their deck of choice. And hey, if you happen to love baseball, it's just a plus!