A Road Map to Peace

I was watching Telemundo a few days ago when a Tarot reader popped on the screen to give each astrological sign a mini (as in 5 second) reading for the week. My first thought was: "They would never have a regular reader like this on English-language television." And then I took a look at his cards. I noticed that he was using a combination of two decks: an oracle that I didn't recognize, and the Osho Zen Tarot. For each sign he would pick a card from each deck, give rapid advice, and move on to the next. I wondered if he chose the Osho Zen deck because each card features a keyword that the reader could latch onto, which would facilitate this quick-fire style he was using in order to fit into his very limited time bracket. Or maybe he just thinks it's pretty.

It certainly has vibrant colors, and works as both a Tarot and an oracle, really. I decided to pull my own Osho Zen deck out for some general guidance, because I have a lot on my plate at the moment! I centered on the question: "What do I need to focus on in order to find peace and clarity?"

I pulled: 4 of Earth (The Miser), XVII Star (Silence), and XIV Temperance (Integration).

Osho Zen Tarot
Osho and Ma Deva Padma
St. Martin's Press, 1995

The Miser sprouts out of a stone wall, embracing mounds of gold and gems. She doesn't want to let go, but she doesn't look particularly healthy in her current situation. This makes sense to me, because in many ways I've been very focused on stability and security lately. In one important way I'm reluctantly anticipating some pretty big changes coming up that will impact my environment significantly, albeit for a finite amount of time. My husband is preparing to return to Europe for work, and may be gone for several months. Meanwhile my children will be heading north to spend eight weeks with their grandparents, as soon as school lets out for summer. Intellectually I can understand how all of this makes sense, and I know that it's temporary, and I am aware that there are many positives to this arrangement of events. But on an instinctual level I'm fighting it tooth and nail. I don't want my husband to be away again for three or more months, and I'm deeply frustrated that suitable work opportunities haven't presented themselves locally. I'm glad that my kids will spend time with my mother and step-dad. I know they'll have fun, and I know that they'll have more of a true vacation than I would be able to give them due to my own work schedule. But I can't stand the thought of them being gone for so long. It feels unnatural. So while I "know" everything will be fine, on a primal level I'm holding on tightly to everything.

All of that internal grappling is giving me a headache.

The Star in the Osho Zen deck is called "Silence." Just looking at the card reminds me of the peace of meditation, the centeredness that comes from spending some time going within. A face floats in space, stars hanging above, with the Moon shining over this person's 3rd eye. The Moon represents my fears, the dreaded anticipation of what's to come. Instead of fighting against it, I must invite it in and sit with it. What am I resisting? What am I afraid of? What's real and what's illusion? The Star encourages me to tap into my heart, to have faith that if I let go, things will be okay. When I'm feeling worried, I can close my eyes, and open myself to the guidance that is always available via my higher self, and the spirits that surround me.

The final card, Temperance, is titled "Integration." The instinctual over-attachment in The Miser has been illuminated and eased by the Silence in the Star, and has now reached a healing balance. This card tells me to honor my experience rather than trying to gloss over it. It doesn't have to feel good, and I don't have to reach a point where the lack of stability in my household doesn't bother me at all. All I have to do is understand that those feelings don't have to dominate my being. I will be able to visit my kids up north for a week or so, about half way through their visit. It won't be eight weeks straight with no contact. There is benefit to spending some time focusing on my Self, and I am very aware of how busy I am, and how little time I have for solitude. My husband will miss us, and we'll miss him, but I also know that the opportunity awaiting him is a very positive one, and that he needs to take advantage of it, for a multitude of reasons. I know it won't last forever, and he'll be back sooner than I think. I know that my children will have many adventures, and many stories to tell their friends when the school year starts again in August. I love that they will spend so much time with their grandparents, especially because since we live so far apart, quality time is more difficult to achieve.

In the color scheme of this reading, I see the sickly green of the Miser fade into the deep blue of inner mystery and hope, then bursting forth in the harmonic joy of rainbow colors in Temperance. It's a road map to peace. I think I'll frame it. ;-)