Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future

For the month of December I am participating in a loosely heathen-centric Instagram challenge hosted by @MagnoliaMoonHolistic called #mmyulechallenge. For days 15-17 the prompts are very Charles Dickens: Ghost of Christmas Past, Christmas Present, and Christmas Future. As when drawn together this creates a nice spread, I've chosen to combine the days thus, and pull cards from the Dreams of Gaia Tarot:

Ghost of Christmas Past: 9 of Fire
Ghost of Christmas Present: 10 of Air
Ghost of Christmas Future: Major XIX

I love the mirroring of this line. The two end cards are fiery and bright, and the figures look outward, while the middle card has cooler colors (fitting for Air), and the woman is turned away, looking through a portal into the universe. Numerologically, the 9 and 10 make 19, reflecting and amplifying the energy of the Major Arcana card.

The 9 of Fire brings forth an energy of intensity and pressure. This image underscores the idiom "grace under fire." This man has absorbed and transformed the sense of chaos surrounding him, and has produced from it a white rose of peace and potential which floats between his hands.

The woman in the 10 of Air is processing the depths of a new personal paradigm. She is looking into the universe, into herself; she is willing to release, to be released, and thus to be reborn.

Major XIX in the Dreams of Gaia is called "Emotions" and in a similar vein to the more traditional Sun, it connects to the expression of joy and happiness; the invitation for those powerful experiences to be called forth, honored, recognized; to allow them to move, to breathe, through you.

In the past year I've certainly seen some radical and positive changes in my life. The 9 of Fire pressure that propelled me forward; that taught me about my will and fortitude; that pushed me to keep striving, and to keep my faith; ultimately fostered a particular experience of abundance and personal power that I'm sure has fed into the reconceptualization of the 10 of Air. The other day I was on a walk with my husband and I was telling him about how different I feel, how much I've grown in the last twelve months. I'm the same, and I'm different; I'm a better, stronger, more refined expression of myself. I see through new eyes. I see new possibilities. The hint of sadness that seemed to lurk for so long beneath the surface of my waking mind has evaporated. I feel the warmth of that joy unfolding, and I'm truly and deeply grateful.

9 of Spirals: Releasing Expectations

Over a week ago I drew the 9 of Spirals from my Chrysalis Tarot (Toney Brooks/Holly Sierra), whose keyword is "perseverance." I drew it reversed, and honestly I did momentarily feel the wind leave my sails (hmmm, that's rather fitting, actually, given the card imagery!). I thought, "I'm going to feel defeated today?" Dissatisfied with that conclusion, I focused on how I could turn that energy around so that I felt empowered.

On this particular day some family was on their way in from out of state for the holidays, and that morning my husband had received news that the mother of a close friend had just passed away, on the friend's birthday no less! My husband was feeling pretty badly about all of that, and not necessarily in the best frame of mind to receive a house full of guests. I felt that I would likely be steering the ship all day, in many regards. At the time I drew the 9 of Spirals, I had been cleaning for hours already, and on top of that I was anticipating a stressful day at work the following day, which was floating around in the back of my head. This flurry of thoughts, feelings, concerns and energy could certainly all have led me to feel rather oppressed.

9 of Spirals - Chrysalis Tarot
Holly Sierra

When I looked at this card my eyes fixated on the what looked to me like a clenched hand over the head of this wind being. After considering it for a moment I realized that it felt to me like a fist holding tightly to "the way things need to be." And I realized that the more tightly I held to my sense of "facing difficulty," the more oppressed I would feel, and I probably wouldn't cope very well. This card asked me to relax my expectations (both of others and of myself). The interesting thing is that, as most card readers understand, it's one thing to identify what needs to be addressed, and quite another thing to put forth the effort to actually follow through! In this case, I was almost surprised by my ability to simply let things go. By being flexible enough to roll with the gusts instead of against them, I felt better about my entire day. As potential complications arose, I pictured the 9 of Spirals in my mind, and I "unclenched the fist." I let go of any desire to impose my rules or structures on the people and environment around me, and I was thoroughly amazed at how good I felt.

In all sincerity, that card draw and the ensuing experience became an "ah hah" moment for me. We often express the importance of "no expectations" but it's not nearly as simple to practice it as it is to utter those five syllables. Actually - truly - releasing all expectations meant that I was more compassionate, less frustrated, happier, and as a whole I felt very liberated. I've carried that feeling with me ever since, and have applied it to many different contexts with equal success. Don't get me wrong - there is mindfulness involved here, so it's not like I flipped a switch and suddenly am entirely expectation-free.... but what I learned from this is that through self-awareness I am capable of experiencing the joy and peace that comes from allowing people to be who and what they are, in any given moment (and that applies to situations as well!). I can feel things - I can be a bit sad, or pleased, or excited - but the predominant, overarching experience is one of understanding and acceptance.

There is great power in that - both self-empowerment, and the acknowledgement and acceptance of others.