Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Talk It Out

This morning my husband mentioned to me that I've been very pensive and quiet lately. He wondered what I have brewing in my mind, and I realized that he's right, I have been very "internal" over the past week or so. As I was considering that, I went to the kitchen to start the coffee and pull a card from my Halloween Oracle.

I drew: Skull of Darkness - Blind Spots
Halloween Oracle
S. Demarco
This card speaks of the ways in which we run in patterns and often don't realize, or aren't conscious of, those cycles. At times we need to talk things out with other people (a friend, partner, or even therapist) in order to allow them the opportunity to reflect back to us our own processes so that we can hear objective insight. I thought back to my husband's comment, and I thought - yes! Being quiet is what I do when I worry. I worry in silence and rarely speak my concerns or ideas aloud. So when he came out to sit at the table, I sat down next to him and started talking. And as I spoke, he listened, and the low-level anxiety I'd been carrying with me began to diffuse. Sometimes just expressing our thoughts is all we need to lighten our burden. And sometimes hearing another perspective on a situation helps us to see a light where before we only saw darkness. My blindspot is my tendency to hold things inside rather than let them out. I do it without really thinking about it, like an old habit. It's like when you drive to the grocery store and once you park in the lot you realize you weren't even really paying attention to the turns you were making on your way there. Your body was in auto-pilot while your mind was wandering. But to break those patterns it takes attention and awareness and a lot of time.

I know it's better to talk, but I still sometimes fall into those old routines without thinking about it. Learning to do things differently takes some flexibility as well as consistent dedication to carving a new path (and sometimes a loving - or cartomantic - push in the right direction)!


  1. You are lucky to have a husband who notices when you are in such a pensive mood and then will ask you to share your thoughts. I know talking does help but more often I tend to write it down than share it. Only when I am asked I can really open up. Tarot cards seem to take that role of counselor sometimes when they offer me a some fresh insights
    I am so happy for you that you have a more clear perspective now from which you can move forward again

    1. It's amazing how helpful cards can be in these terms. I almost laughed when I pulled this oracle card - it was so precisely perfect, and helped me to open my thoughts to what was going on within in me. I agree that writing can also be a great tool for self-analysis.

  2. I was noticing the same thing as Ellen that it must be nice to have a husband who notices how you feel, or anybody in your life for that matter who notices it. :)

    1. Yes, I do appreciate having that! I think it can be a challenge to make me accountable (even to myself) for the experiences I'm having, rather than just trying to ignore how I feel or even my behavior patterns! :)