Talk It Out

This morning my husband mentioned to me that I've been very pensive and quiet lately. He wondered what I have brewing in my mind, and I realized that he's right, I have been very "internal" over the past week or so. As I was considering that, I went to the kitchen to start the coffee and pull a card from my Halloween Oracle.

I drew: Skull of Darkness - Blind Spots

Halloween Oracle
S. Demarco

This card speaks of the ways in which we run in patterns and often don't realize, or aren't conscious of, those cycles. At times we need to talk things out with other people (a friend, partner, or even therapist) in order to allow them the opportunity to reflect back to us our own processes so that we can hear objective insight. I thought back to my husband's comment, and I thought - yes! Being quiet is what I do when I worry. I worry in silence and rarely speak my concerns or ideas aloud. So when he came out to sit at the table, I sat down next to him and started talking. And as I spoke, he listened, and the low-level anxiety I'd been carrying with me began to diffuse. Sometimes just expressing our thoughts is all we need to lighten our burden. And sometimes hearing another perspective on a situation helps us to see a light where before we only saw darkness. My blindspot is my tendency to hold things inside rather than let them out. I do it without really thinking about it, like an old habit. It's like when you drive to the grocery store and once you park in the lot you realize you weren't even really paying attention to the turns you were making on your way there. Your body was in auto-pilot while your mind was wandering. But to break those patterns it takes attention and awareness and a lot of time.

I know it's better to talk, but I still sometimes fall into those old routines without thinking about it. Learning to do things differently takes some flexibility as well as consistent dedication to carving a new path (and sometimes a loving - or cartomantic - push in the right direction)!