Monday, March 17, 2014

Two Thoughts Talking

Last night I decided to do a short self-reading with my Voodoo Tarot, not asking anything in particular, simply opening myself to whatever message appeared for me.

As I turned my cards over, there appeared 3 Rada (which loosely corresponds to 3 Swords), sitting happily next to 2 Rada (kinda sorta related to the 2 of Swords). And while I was initially a bit surprised,  what it did was connect my psyche more consciously with my feelings, and suddenly I was startlingly aware of how sad I was feeling.

3 Rada - Guedeh
New Orleans Voodoo Tarot

So why was I feeling sad? My husband is leaving today for a visit home to see his ailing mother. I'm sad that she's sick, and I'm sad that my husband is leaving. I'm sad that he always has to deal with so much heartbreak, and it hurts doubly because his feelings of being torn also divide his mind and emotions between two places, which impacts everyone including him. (As I write this I see both my own feelings and his experience reflected in these cards, which is interesting.) While I'm sad to see him go, I want him to see his mother, and his sister, and niece who love him dearly. They need him, too. I'm excited that he'll be able to bring them some of the things that they need, and I love the image of them excitedly awaiting his arrival. Guedeh of 3 Rada has me recognize the sadness in my heart as being an inevitable part of the human experience, but there's a soothing, protective quality to this card. Guedeh represents the heartache and eventual release that is inherent in change. He comforts us and says "this too shall pass." All of this is important because there's joy in this moment, too, not just sadness. I also notice the thee skeletons which are perhaps the most striking quality of this card. In Cuba my husband is always worrying about the welfare of his mother, sister, and niece, while in the U.S. he is always concerned about the needs of our three children. Guedeh with his sunglasses on reminds me of my husband - full of feeling, yet often concealing it. He has one eye each fixated on both places, and both dear groups of family.

2 Rada - Nan Nan Bouclou
New Orleans Voodoo Tarot

2 Rada/Nan Nan Bouclou represents healing (particularly via herbs) and the importance of sharing knowledge for the benefit of the whole community. I see this as representing the need for my two contradicting thoughts (I want him to go/I want him to stay) to talk to one another and find some common ground. I see my husband with one hand in Cuba and the other here with me and the kids, trying to bridge the two. I see the need for us to openly communicate our thoughts and ideas, and acknowledge our feelings. I see a good cup of steaming herbal tea to calm the nerves! I, again, feel the comfort and kindness of Nan Nan Bouclou, the ancient, wise, loving grandmother spirit. Healing is possible through sharing and working together, all of us - me, my husband, our children, my sister-in-law, niece, and mother-in-law -  as one united community regardless of the great geographical divide.


  1. Hi Olivia, I feel sorry for you and I can understand how hard it is to be so torn inside. It is very good you have acknowledged this feeling for only then you can start to heal. Some of life's lessons are hard to grasp but "this too shall pass"
    I am glad this deck has spoken so clearly to you

    1. Thanks for the kind thoughts, Ellen, I will take them into my heart! For some reason I've always been a bit detached from my own feelings, most often when they're difficult or painful, so in this case the cards helped me to really pay attention to them, which is good for me, even though not entirely pleasant ;-)

    2. It is often more easy to rationalize your feelings then to actually feel them. Tarot is a blessing for women like us :)