Trust is so hard, right? Trusting that the cards will tell you what you need to know. Trusting that you really are "doing it right." Letting go of the fears of not connecting to the cards, or not knowing how to interpret them, of not being able to weave a story together based on what you're seeing and feeling. Fears of negative feedback from strangers you read. Holding on to the fear of the unknown, and of doubts.
When experienced readers say "you can't do it wrong," or "don't over-think it," or "everyone finds their own way, and it's not the same way for everyone," or "trust your intuition," they are right. Doing it is not easy, but Tarot is not supposed to be easy. It's a journey, and you learn as you go.
So yesterday I had a powerful reading, which really drove home all of the advice listed above. I won't discuss the reading in much detail for confidentiality reasons, but I had done a reading for this person and about the same subject in the past. The 10 of Swords popped up in a previous spread. So this time as I was shuffling carefully, a card popped out. When I picked it up, it was the 10 of Swords. I felt that definitely carried significance, so I kept it in mind and put it back in the deck and I kept shuffling. I cut the deck, and fanned it out to select cards. I remember one of the cards that I selected gave me a strong, clear impression that it was a male court card. Later, when I turned them all over, it was indeed a male court card - the Knight of Swords. Seeing that confirmation of my feeling was pretty cool. So after I had "dealt" the cards, I reassembled the deck and set it next to the spread. At some point I thought about using a clarifier card, even though I wasn't really struggling for meaning. But since I had the thought, I decided to pick the card at the top of the deck. It was the 10 of Swords! I smiled, and placed it next to the spread. Okay, so this really does carry meaning for the spread and the question.
All in all the spread consisted of 6 Major Arcana, 1 court card, and 1 Ace, with two Minor Arcana. The "future" card also coincided with the Shadow Card of the person I was reading, which gave another dimension to that particular area. It was an intense spread, full of a lot of meaning, and the story came together for me almost as if I was reading a book. It was really beautiful, even though the spread itself was full of uncertainty and a lot of recommendations. It was a beautiful moment for me as a Tarot reader, as I'm learning to "let it go" and trust the process.
I used the Celtic Cross with no Significator since, as I mentioned in my last post, I've come to terms with what the positions mean for me, and I'm not stressing so much about how I shuffle. It was a great experience, and I'm deeply grateful for it.