Mannaz and the Ace of Fire

A few days ago I pulled the Ace of Fire from the Dreams of Gaia Tarot as my morning draw. I didn't have a particular question in mind, but I've been trying to breathe my way through the current political climate, and the card immediately felt relevant. The Ace of Fire is a card of action - of manifestation of the creative impulse. Interestingly, in Spanish "manifestación" is the word for political demonstrations or protests. It is the voice of the people made manifest through the gathering of many into one.

I like the image on this card. The fire dragon reminds us of our own inner power to influence change in the world. The spider and her web is a symbol of interconnectedness - what affects one, affects all, in some way or another. We are not isolated individuals, but a community of unique essences that are ultimately woven together into a common tapestry. The spider web encases an egg, the potential for new life. The spider guards it carefully. What will be born from this possibility?

The other day I heard someone say that this deep upheaval is serving to wake us up out of complacency. We are now feeling spurred into action to protect and uphold liberties and equalities that perhaps were taken for granted for too long. There is a move to hold hands with each other, to forge bridges, and break the long-standing and outdated socio-cultural divides between communities who largely share the same values and core principles.

There is a call to learn, to understand, to advocate, to volunteer, to be heard.

As I pondered all of this, I recalled that the previous morning's rune draw (which was still sitting on my altar) was Mannaz. Unlike my card-of-the-day, I had indeed asked a question prior to drawing this rune. I said, "How? How can we combat ignorance? How can we protect the environment, and human rights, and healthcare, in the face of this new administration?" I can't imagine a more appropriate response than Mannaz.

A well-worn, nearly unreadable rune: Mannaz.

Mannaz represents humankind, our unique place in the landscape of community. I have drawn this rune before, particularly on days where issues of racism and inequality have weighed heavily on my mind. This rune calls us to identify and name our values, and to consider how they compare, contrast, or interact with those of other people: of our city, state, country, and world. Mannaz calls us to community mindfulness and mindedness. It calls us to high-level thinking, and to common action. The rune itself looks almost like two people standing side by side, an arm extended down to touch one another's waist; an open embrace. Mannaz says that each person does have a voice, and can make a difference. Moreover, it reminds us that each of us is charged with the responsibility of holding our community - local, national, and beyond - to a higher standard of action, behavior, and principle. None of us is off the hook; we all have a part to play.

Simple Questions

From time to time I sit with my Tarot cards and ask a simple question: what am I feeling?

It may seem a bit silly, especially because I consider myself to be someone who is very self-aware and thoughtful, in general. But something about feelings……just slides under the rug sometimes. I know when I'm anxious, especially at 2am when I wake up, turn over, and then can't fall back asleep. Things always tend to feel most ominous in the darkest hours of morning when everything is quiet. I know when I'm joyous, basking in the amazing wonder of a breezy, sunny, tree-filled afternoon in springtime.  I know when I'm particularly full of potent love, snuggling with my little ones, listening to their innocent chatter, their amazement at something as small as a centipede crawling in the grass.

At my core, I've always been a happy person. Over the years, I've learned that happiness can coexist with a rainbow of other feelings and sensations. I've also always been a pretty reasonable person, grounded in "what needs to be done" rather than "how do I feel about it?" So sometimes I like to check in with myself, crack open the nut, see what's happening inside. I shuffle, pour my soul and essence out into the deck, and lay out a few cards.

I did this just a couple of days ago, and drew:

3 Swords rx - Ace of Wands - Ace of Disks

Thoth Tarot - Crowley/Harris

(Yes, this is the Thoth deck - don't be shocked or offended by the reversal, I swear I can explain ;-) )

As odd as it might sound, I was relieved and pleased to see the 3 of Swords; I suppose on some level that was part of the motivation for having done this reading to begin with. I've been sad for a little while, a momentary sadness that sits alongside my regular happy and positive nature. It's not a sadness from betrayal or lies or other woes sometimes attributed to this card. It's a low-key, subtle sadness that floats around in the background of my days and nights, the sadness of movement, of reality, of awareness, acceptance and release. Its presence is evident to me, but it doesn't stop me in my tracks, nor does it heavily impinge on my happiness. It's simply there, and I feel it.

The dark murkiness of the 3 of Swords is off-set by the bright vibrancy of the Ace of Wands, which in turn is complemented by the earthy, grounding energy of the Ace of Disks. These two cards are full of intention, optimism, and possibility. The pair suggests newness and fresh starts - energetic and material. And they are reflections of me, as astrologically I am a double Capricorn with an Aries moon. The fire has been rising within me over this past year, which itself has been lovely and strange, new and empowering. Both of these are important aspects of my life at the moment, just as surely as the 3 of Swords….and perhaps to some degree these two cards contribute to the presence of the 3 of Swords (in most cases pain is a natural component of important, even very positive, change).

I spent quite a while gazing at the beauty of this trio, the contrasting colors, the helpful illumination of the reading itself. It serves as a wonderful reminder and meditative focus: for moments when I'm feeling the 3 of Swords more keenly, I can also be mindful about honoring the equally important presence of the two Aces, and the positive movement and promise and power they bring into my world. Fire and Earth.

Sometimes it's the simple questions that end up being the most valuable.

Love-Hate Relationships (with decks!)

Last night I participated in a Tarot Circle led by the lovely Christiana Gaudet from Tarot Trends. During introductions everyone has the opportunity to ask a "burning question" or to make any comment they feel compelled to share. I had my Deviant Moon deck with me (by Patrick Valenza) and when it was my turn to speak I found myself talking about how the the Deviant Moon has become my main working deck, even though it's not my favorite deck.  Christiana asked me why I thought that was, and I honestly wasn't entirely sure. The angles, the colors, the shapes, draw me in and engage my intuition in a way that make my readings tend to flow….even though there are things I really don't like about it.

For instance, the Hermit card in any deck is one of those cards I'm particular about - it's one of my favorites.  And yet the Deviant Moon Hermit is entirely unappealing to me, and even a bit creepy. I prefer the images of the Hermit as a hooded, solitary figure, and I really resonate with that energy. But a Gollum-looking creature in a cave sitting next to a fish skeleton? Meh. I get the idea behind the image, I just don't really like it.

Deviant Moon Tarot - Patrick Valenza
US Games

I also don't like men with jutting chins and lipstick, and I have to say that the clown-like Magician took some getting used to.

Deviant Moon Tarot - Patrick Valenza
US Games

On the other hand, this deck has some cards that have come to be some of my very favorite of all time, such as the 4 of Swords and the Ace of Wands.

Deviant Moon Tarot - Patrick Valenza
US Games

Deviant Moon Tarot - Patrick Valenza
US Games

So given all these conflicting feelings about the deck, why do I like it so much? Why has it elbowed its way into being the deck I tend to choose most often for doing readings?

I was pondering this last night, following the Tarot Circle, and it finally popped into my mind like an almost-visible "ah hah" moment…...

I love this deck because it looks like it was co-created by Salvador Dalí and Pablo Picasso, two of my important artistic influences growing up. Picasso was an inspiration to me, and along with Diego Rivera, had a large impact on my developing style when I was an adolescent. I always found Dalí's surrealism and use of color and shape fascinating. So while there are aspects of the art style that I don't love, and while there are some cards I really don't care for, the deck still speaks to me in a way that calls me back to my creative origins, and somehow links an important part of my past to my present (think 6 of Cups). This is especially important to me because in recent years I've almost entirely stopped producing art work, and on some level I really miss it, and sometimes think I need it.

So I still find myself appreciating the entire package, because like anything familiar and dear to a person, there are things you love - the important things that keep you present and engaged - and there are things you don't love - the things you accept and work with because that's what you do when you love something (or someone)… and sometimes, like an ugly dog, you end up finding those imperfections endearing rather than off-putting.

So that's me and the Deviant Moon.

Samhain: A Spread for the New Year

I know it's a little  bit early to do my New Year spread for Samhain, seeing as the 31st is still about five days away, but I have family coming to visit for a whole week, and who knows how much time I'll find !  So I decided to do it today, a lovely Saturday night.  The littlest kid is in bed, the older kids are on their way there, and Jorge is outside taking pictures of the moon.  A rare quiet moment!

I've settled down here with my cup of tea to type out the reading I did about an hour ago.  I wasn't sure which spread I wanted to use, and *almost* created my own…but I wasn't feeling quite that inspired.  So I found one on a great website, Furious Horde, called "Hallows: A Samhain Spread." The site also offers an Ancestor Spread as a companion to this one, however I'll save that for another moment! I've slightly altered the Samhain spread to add a couple of extra cards, but it goes something like this:

                   1

            2     3     4

      5        6     7      8

                9    10

1: The Moon - Major influences accompanying you into the New Year

2: The Path - A glimpse into the very near future 

3: The Lantern - What is currently engaging your attention and drawing you forward

4: The Mask - What illusions you are maintaining for yourself or others (could be for positive reasons)

5: The Bones - A reflection of ancestry, family, culture, heritage, etc. What relics do you keep as symbols, and what purpose do they serve?

6: The Bonfire - What needs to be cleansed and offered to the fire in order to move into the New Year?

7: The Veil - What is being revealed about your deep self?

8: The Ancient Ones - Guidance offered from Spirit/Guides/Ancestors.

9: Bottom card of the deck - Additional influences

10: Top card of the deck - Additional influences

I used my Wildwood Tarot deck (Mark Ryan, John Matthews, Will Worthington; Sterling Ethos 2011). With the addition of the two extra cards, the shape is rather like an arrow head!

                                 

Card 1, the Moon: 5 of Bows ("Empowerment").  I do believe that I've been in the process of "finding my power" for a while now.  I feel empowered by having reconnected this year (after 6 or 7 years) with what feels like my purpose in many ways, or at least involves nurturing the gifts I came to this life with (specifically spirit-related things). It has presented a series of "challenges" that I've been diving head-first into, and ultimately enjoying and learning a lot from.  The energy created from all of this has been propelling me forward.

Card 2, the Path: 9 of Bows ("Respect"). The Woodwose sits front and center on this card, asking me if I have what it takes to battle onwards.  Only time will tell (this is, after all, the "near future" card) but I already know that I do.  Challenges are not for the weak-hearted or weak-minded.  In order to progress, you must demonstrate the ability to trust in the path, even when you can't see very far ahead, and to respect the experiences you have, and the guides that teach you (in whatever form they may take). I must respect myself, and in turn give respect to others.  I think this card is also about not letting myself feel "walked on" by situations or by people.  If you pack up and go home at the first sign of struggle, you aren't ready for the journey.

Card 3, the Lantern: Ace of Bows ("Spark of Life"). A door has opened before me, and I've been drawn over the threshold.  Bows represent creativity and energy, and in a lot of ways I feel like I'm dealing with harnessing my own energy, and considering the potential that's available when I learn to focus and direct it.  Last week I had a dream that I was full of energy, but I needed to learn how to manipulate it so that it could be used for healing.  I do feel rather like a baby, so the Ace is fitting.  I'm just becoming aware of how much energy I have at my disposal, and how to work with it…which is a whole new path that is leading me on.

Card 4, the Mask: 4 of Stones ("Protection").  This is an interesting card to appear.  It took me some time to ponder it, but when I started focusing more intently on the details of the images in the card, things started to click into place.  I thought of how much I don't voice my thoughts and feelings - in a sense the fawn represents my inner workings, while everyone else just sees the stony exterior. Jorge always asks me what I'm thinking because I often don't realize how much I don't share with others. Is it a form of protection?  It could be sometimes, when I don't want to upset others with my own concerns or worries, or because I think that by managing my concerns on my own they'll somehow be easier to deal with than if I include someone else. And that definitely qualifies as a mask.  In fact that is something that my Mom used to always do.  She'd say "If I don't ask, I'd never know what's really going on inside you!"  Really I'm often unaware of how much I ponder in silence. So I am making an effort to be more conscious of this tendency.    

Card 5, the Bones: The World Tree. Hm. Another interesting card to appear.  Yggdrasil, the World Tree, has been a recurring theme this past year.  And does it get any more ancestral than that??  Several months ago I had a dream: there was an impending sense of doom, like the world was ending. Everyone was taking cover, and rather anxious. As people were leaving the town center, I was walking toward it, and I ended up face-to-trunk with a great, pale tree.  I sensed it was very old, and dying. I knew I had to knock on the trunk, though when I did so, the world might end.  But I had to knock, and so I did.  When I knocked on the trunk, it was simply like the sun rising. Nothing ended, nothing died. The tree was simply reborn.  For the rest of the night the name "Yggdrasil" wove its way through my mind. Yggdrasil is a common place for shamans to visit, no matter the culture, though the term is specifically from Norse mythology.  That brings in another important element. A significant part of my ancestry is from German and Nordic Europe, though I'd never really felt connected to that part of my family history.  In fact having been raised around the native American community, American indigenous culture was probably most important to me growing up. But I had another dream several weeks after the Yggdrasil dream: I was sitting (at night) at a gathering, wondering who I might connect with, or if anyone would like me.  Then I saw a guy, blonde, kind of Vikingy, with a necklace. I held the necklace in my hand, and it was very native American, beaded in various colors, almost in a sharp horseshoe shape. As I went to the guy it changed to metal/chain, but in the same form.  I felt very connected to this, like I was remembering part of my identity.  I felt the fierceness of a warrior, and knew that I would be the person running toward the battle rather than away from it.  As a woman.  I felt the connection to the norse/Viking people, my ancestry.  I thought that it's interesting how the native bead necklace, also representing a big part of who I am, turned into the metal necklace.  Like it was showing a connection, transmutation.  It felt very right. So again this Nordic connection popped up in my dream, and this time there was a flow from one spiritual tradition (not ancestral) to another (that is ancestral). I read a bit about Odin, and felt very connected to that grandfather, wanderer, shaman, warrior combination. Odin also hung from Yggdrasil for 9 days, a sacrifice in order to receive the wisdom of the runes. So there is some great circle involved in this series of stories and events. Another aspect that relates to this card and position is my mother, who is clairvoyant and intuitive, and a counselor by trade. It was she that introduced me to Tarot at a young age. The maze on the card leads to the heart of the World Tree. There is something related to a spiritual heritage involved here. As a final note, this is a card that came up for me as I was doing a reading about my potential with mediumship, which also seems to relate to the Ace of Bows, for me.

Card 6, the Bonfire: 5 of Arrows reversed ("Frustration"). I use reversals with this deck, though in the context of this spread the only two reversals (this being one of them) don't differ greatly from their upright meaning.  First of all, I'm a Capricorn, which is symbolized by the goat, so right away I see myself flying down a hill against a wave of arrows whipping my way. On one hand I feel this card is calling me to release my frustrations, many of which are mental.  Attitude is everything, right? What purpose does internalizing frustrations serve?  It serves none, other than to eat away at me, creating sleepless nights, and stressful days. That is certainly worth doing away with.  This card also relates back to the 5 of Bows (Empowerment). I can't please everyone, so I shouldn't try. I don't always need to be the peacemaker (related to the 4 of Stones).  And if I'm grounded, determined, balanced and focused, the arrows coming my way will somehow miss their mark.  

Card 7, the Veil: the Blasted Oak reversed. The second of the two reversals in this spread. The position of the card indicates that this reversal refers to my inner workings. I'm experiencing "big change" on an interior level.  I've had the burst of insight (the lightening bolt) which has brought me a whole new world of possibility that I'd never considered before, or explored. There's a certain freedom in that, like being reborn, in a way. The traditional RWS card features a crown which relates to the crown chakra. Mine has been open and tingling with activity for a while now, which relates to the Ace of Bows. The insights themselves have been spiritual in nature. This year I've delved back into working with the cards, experienced the awakening of my 6th and 7th chakras, developed my clairsentience to the point of being able to begin exploring psychic readings (without the use of cards), and have begun to experience mediumship, which has been really cool, interesting, eye-opening, humbling, and sort of exciting, in a muted sort of way. Who knew?

Card 8, the Ancient Ones: Knight of Arrows ("Hawk"). In the Wildwood, this Knight is represented by the Hawk.  The Hawk card in the Druid Animal Oracle (Philip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm, Will Worthington; Fireside 1994) has made repeat appearances for me all summer long, and now into the fall, so it was interesting to see it show up here and in this form. The Hawk is about seeing the big picture.  In the Druid Animal Oracle book, it says that the Hawk has the "ability to see life in perspective, free yourself from unnecessary baggage, connect to ancestral roots….Once you know where you've come from and where you're going, your life will be filled with inspiration and enthusiasm. You will sense a new day dawning and will be able to make decisions with confidence (pg 42-43)."  It also mentions, "Ancestral wisdom lives deep in our psyches (pg 44)." So to me it speaks of a new beginning whose roots go much further back than the present, which fits so well with everything I've been experiencing this past year. Another interesting bit of information about the Hawk is that they were used by Druids to explore the spirit world.  Why is the Hawk a Knight? Apparently in Arthurian legend, Gawain's name means "Hawk of May" and Galahad's name means "Hawk of Summer." The Druid Animal Oracle book states that "because of its ability to soar high in the air, the hawk is considered a solar bird and therefore provides a fitting name for these knights who typify the best qualities of courtliness and nobility - they are male solar heroes in quest of the feminine grail (pg 44)." So journeys and quests, perspective on the breadth of one's life/lives, the spirit-world, letting go of what wasn't working, new beginnings, connecting to my ancestral roots…yes. It makes sense and forms another beautiful circle of meaning. 

Card 9, Bottom of the deck: 4 of Bows ("Celebration"). Contentment, balance, and most importantly the idea of "coming home" which has significance for me both in the past year, and in this spread.

Card 10, Top of the deck: the Wanderer. This card pretty much speaks for itself. I'm embarking on a new journey….well, it feels new, and yet in some way it's ancient. And in that way it relates closely to the Blasted Oak, the Ace of Bows, and the Knight of Arrows. 

Whew!!!  If you're still reading, you have earned a special place in my heart! That was quite a post. I would conclude with a numerological analysis of the spread….but I'm not sure I'm up for that much additional typing!  So it was a great spread, and I'm so happy to have found it.  It's given me a lot of food for thought, and I'll be coming back to it frequently during the week (and possibly months) ahead as I continue to ponder it.  I hope you haven't fallen asleep yet, though I wouldn't blame you if you did, as it's quite late, and definitely past my own bedtime. So off I go, sweet dreams, and Happy Halloween!

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A Three-Card Spread and Elemental Dignities (and reversals)

I've been hesitant to use reversals.  I'm not against using them, and may consider incorporating them in the future.  It's not because I'm afraid of the negative implications they sometimes bring, or because I feel it's unnecessary as Tarot cards already hold tons of meaning.  I've seen spreads that have been done with reversals where I find the reversals tend to give a subtle layer of additional meaning to the reading that would not have been as clear otherwise.  So we'll see about that.  What I find most mind-shattering is that with 78 upright cards there are already so many potential meanings and ways of interpreting them, that to add another slew of potential meanings to each one just makes me exhausted.  I mean, have you done the math?  78 cards does not equal 78 meanings.... if we decide to randomly assign 5 potential meanings to each card, that comes to a total of 390 potential meanings we have floating around in our minds.  That does not factor in the positions the various cards end up in, or the interactions and additional potential meanings we might see and intuit from a spread.  If we double that, we come to 780.  It's perfectly possible to learn reversals and successfully apply them.  But while I already understand the basic premise of reversals and their application, I'm not sure it's entirely necessary or worthwhile yet to study each card.

At any rate, I've been reading about elemental dignities and the extra clarity they can provide readings by helping to determine which cards carry more or less weight in a spread.  The first websites I looked at were really confusing, mainly because while the description of elemental dignities was fairly clear, there were no examples of real-life spreads with interpretations using the elemental dignities.  So learning how to apply them seemed daunting - yet I kept reading about how powerful they can be!  So I was motivated to figure this whole situation out.....

Image from Creative Commons

Meanwhile I read a blog entry on Sun Goddess Tarot (a blog I've come to love), where Tarot "newbies" were encouraged to get more experience reading strangers by signing up to do free readings through various sites.  When I went to one of the sites, it said that all potential free-readers must EITHER use reversals OR elemental dignities.  I thought: "Okay! It's settled! I will learn these dignities, or else!"  (Later that night, in frustration, I threw my hands up in the air and resigned myself to learning all of the reversed meanings I could; it's true - elemental dignities are not for the faint of heart).

But I was further motivated by the apparent recognition that while yes, reversals can provide extra layers of insight, so can elemental dignities, and it's not absolutely necessary to use both. (Yet. But this is me, and I will probably learn all the reversals at some point, anyway, just for the additional challenge and knowledge).  So, that felt validating, and I was happy (and still am) to learn a challenging but effective system that does not require doubling up on all of the cards.

Okay.  So this morning I had a meeting with a student and his advisor about a plagiarizing issue (this was mentioned in a previous post).  I had been working with this student for just a couple of weeks, and so far most of his out-of-class work had been poor, despite his general good naturedness.  I was nervous about how the meeting would go because while I was unhappy with the quality of the student's work, coupled with the plagiarism, I was nervous about the potential implications, and how student would react.  I decided to do a 3-card spread, but didn't assign meanings to any of the positions.

I pulled:                    The Queen of Wands   -    3 of Cups   -     Ace of Wands

My initial interpretation:

My first sense was that the Queen of Wands was the student's advisor.  I had not met her before, so I was encouraged by this card - it suggested a very capable woman with self-confidence, a caring and friendly demeanor.  I felt this meant that she would lead the meeting well, and would come up with a creative way to deal with this unpleasant situation.

The 3 of Cups brings to mind teamwork, success, celebration, and I definitely did not think this meeting would be most of those things.  But the element of teamwork stuck with me, as I was preparing for a meeting with several other people.

The Ace of Wands at first made me feel that the situation would be resolved in a positive way, and the student would be allowed some kind of new beginning.  I wasn't really sure what that might look like.

So then I applied the elemental dignities.  Fire and Water don't mix.  And two fire cards flanking one water card meant that the Wands really dominated this spread - they were most important - while the 3 of Cups' meaning was diminished.  This made sense - to me, then, the 3 of Cups signified the meeting itself, and the coming together of several people to solve an issue.  The emphasis of this issue lied in the Queen of Wands (the student advisor) and the the Ace of Wands (what I came to think of as the outcome).

The result:

I had the meeting today, and was pleased with the results.  When I walked into the advisor's office and met her I immediately said to myself "Yes. This is definitely the Queen of Wands."  She was everything you'd imagine the Queen of Wands to be, and it was a pleasure to meet her.  She handled the meeting with expert grace, and was firm yet kind.

I had been led to believe there would be up to 5 people in the meeting, but in the end there were just three of us - the Three of Cups. And the meeting, while successful, was not celebratory, so I felt that the card with the adjusted meaning was very accurate.

Finally, the card that still held some mystery for me: the Ace of Wands.  I originally thought it meant a creative outcome, a new opportunity for the student, in some way.  Well, that was accurate, though not in the way I might have thought.  The student lost all points for the class, received a zero for his project, and after calculations were complete, it was evident he would be failing my class, and thus would have to retake it next semester.  There's a new beginning, alright.  He would be held accountable for his work, and would need to challenge himself to try harder, and take his work more seriously.  I wondered if in part this conclusion remained cloudy for me because I was personally invested in the idea that he would not have to repeat my course, even though rationally I knew it was a real possibility.

The spread was entirely right on, and the application of the elemental dignities was helpful in determining extra meaning for the cards involved.  It is a simple example, but one that gives me a clearer understanding of how the elemental dignities can impact the meaning of a spread, even in subtle ways.  When I thought of the spread, I thought that a reversed 3 of Cups might well have signified similar things in this spread - a subdued version of the upright.  While this might not work the same way for every card in the deck, it did provide food for thought, in terms of how the meanings or impact of reversals and elemental dignities can intersect, and I'm looking forward to practicing more with this application.