Talk It Out

This morning my husband mentioned to me that I've been very pensive and quiet lately. He wondered what I have brewing in my mind, and I realized that he's right, I have been very "internal" over the past week or so. As I was considering that, I went to the kitchen to start the coffee and pull a card from my Halloween Oracle.

I drew: Skull of Darkness - Blind Spots

Halloween Oracle
S. Demarco

This card speaks of the ways in which we run in patterns and often don't realize, or aren't conscious of, those cycles. At times we need to talk things out with other people (a friend, partner, or even therapist) in order to allow them the opportunity to reflect back to us our own processes so that we can hear objective insight. I thought back to my husband's comment, and I thought - yes! Being quiet is what I do when I worry. I worry in silence and rarely speak my concerns or ideas aloud. So when he came out to sit at the table, I sat down next to him and started talking. And as I spoke, he listened, and the low-level anxiety I'd been carrying with me began to diffuse. Sometimes just expressing our thoughts is all we need to lighten our burden. And sometimes hearing another perspective on a situation helps us to see a light where before we only saw darkness. My blindspot is my tendency to hold things inside rather than let them out. I do it without really thinking about it, like an old habit. It's like when you drive to the grocery store and once you park in the lot you realize you weren't even really paying attention to the turns you were making on your way there. Your body was in auto-pilot while your mind was wandering. But to break those patterns it takes attention and awareness and a lot of time.

I know it's better to talk, but I still sometimes fall into those old routines without thinking about it. Learning to do things differently takes some flexibility as well as consistent dedication to carving a new path (and sometimes a loving - or cartomantic - push in the right direction)!

Calling On Ancestral Wisdom

A couple of weeks ago I was working with my runes, and I asked them to describe the principal influence that my santo/Ángel Guardián, Obatalá, has in my life. I pulled Ansuz which was just so beautiful and fitting. Ansuz is the breath of life, clarity of mind, the whisper of the ancestors, guidance from above, communication. It governs the more mundane aspects of receiving advice from older, more experienced people. In short, it's perfect.

Several days later I decided to pull a rune on the question: "When facing times of trouble, what is the best way to work through it?" I pulled none other than Ansuz! Again, this involves opening ourselves to the wisdom of mentors, those who have "been there, done that." But more than that it spoke to me of the guiding light of our ancestors, the constant presence of the spirits and saints that support us and are always there to help us - we need only ask, and open our hearts and minds.

Halloween Oracle
Stacey Demarco/Jimmy Manton

This morning I decided to pull a card from the Halloween Oracle, and drew: The Veil - The Future.

This card, like Ansuz, represents the closeness of our ancestors - that though we may not be able to see them through the veil, they are often near, and they want to help us realize our plans and find peace and satisfaction. Once we focus our intentions on our goals and are able to visualize the future we want to have, we are better able to work toward manifesting it, and our ancestors will be there to guide us along the way.

I love this; it's a concept dear to my heart. I often feel these wise, loving presences around me, and it gives me great comfort and a sense of steadfast friendship, no matter what challenges or joys I'm facing, like knowing and feeling that your hand is being firmly held, even though you can't see it!

The Synergy of Rootwork

From time to time I find myself pausing to ponder the beauty and mystery of the universe: how energy works, the way in which everything in our environment is connected, the simple yet awe-inspiring moments where you just know that there's a God (sunsets tend to do this for me).

I was having such a moment this morning as I was considering our relationship to cause-and-effect in the world, and the methods that we can use to influence positive outcomes in our lives. Rootwork, in my experience, is one such method that is both subtle yet powerful in its efficacy. A working, when well planned and executed, softly influences the energy of the universe, something like tossing a stone into a pond and watching the ripples unfold. It is nothing more than a suggestion we make, but it is real, and can be very effective. For me there is great mystery and holiness in that.

So I decided to pull a card from my Halloween Oracle, while holding this topic gently in my mind, and I pulled: Barmbrack.

Halloween Oracle; S. Demarco, J. Manton
Rootworking tools

Barmrack is the name of an yeasty Irish fruit bread that is traditionally made at Samhain (Halloween). Before the bread is baked various objects are inserted into it, such as a toothpick, a coin, or a ring. If a party-goer received a slice of bread with the toothpick they could expect a year of disputes ahead (similar to the Birchrod in Lenormand). If they received the coin, they could expect money, and if the ring, a marriage.

In the Halloween Oracle this card is subtitled "Sweetness and Synergy" and refers to value and power that exist in the present, as opposed to worrying about the future. The author, Stacey Demarco, writes:

"We have the tools to change our future should we choose. The sweet energy of barmbrack - all the ingredients including the objects [baked within] are more complete and powerful together than they are individually."

This is a beautiful representation of what rootwork is and does. Rootwork is a ritual process of utilizing roots, herbs, stones, and things made with natural essences (such as oils) in combination to help achieve a specific end (such as finding work, improving finances or business, healing those who are ill, and even for protection). The ritual of rootwork - the careful and purposeful selection of materials, the process of preparation, the focus and intention of the worker and the work itself - is like a sacred dance, a weaving of energy where each element merges and combines to create something greater than the sum of its parts - powerful synergy.

Easter Tidings: A Call for Healing

Today is Easter. While not all celebrate it, I find that most holidays have something positive to offer everyone, if we take the time to look. For today I decided to pull a card or two on the following question:

"What is the essence of Easter time?"

I drew a single card from the Wildwood Tarot, and an additional card from the Halloween Oracle:

7 of Stones - Owl

Wildwood Tarot (W. Worthington, M. Ryan, J. Matthews)
Halloween Oracle (S. Demarco, J. Manton)

I found it to be an interesting draw, in part because both cards have some important elements in common. Both call us to pause a moment, to reflect on what is happening in our lives, so that our responses, decisions, and path forward will be a product of our wisest, most thoughtful selves, rather than our impulses.

An important element of the Wildwood 7 of Stones is that of healing and forgiveness. What weight of regret, sorrow or pain are you carrying in your heart and soul, and how can you accept it and let it go so that you may become a happier, healthier person? This card highlights the importance of making time in your life for quiet reflection and careful consideration; making space to nurture yourself.

The owl is often seen in the Justice card in the Tarot, as associated with Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom and war. The owl asks you to detach yourself from your emotional reactions and responses, and view your circumstances with an objective eye. You are far harder on yourself than you would be on others. Owl asks you to be as fair with yourself as you are with those you relate to; honor your experiences for the wisdom they've given you, add the notches to your belt, and then keep walking on.

Where are you now? Where do you want to be? What road(s) will take you there?

These cards resonate well with Easter's sense of renewal. Springtime as a whole is a time of shedding our old skins and embracing fresh perspectives, mindsets, and possibilities. Many households will throw windows ajar to allow the brisk breeze to whisk stale, inside air out and away, as "spring cleaning" ensues - out with the old, in with the new. Easter is a wonderful time for inner spring cleaning as well - what's holding you back? What burdens are pulling you down? What "should haves" are still buzzing around your head?

Today is a great day to commit yourself to personal wisdom, healing and renewal.

Elegua and Emotional Mindfulness

Last night I wanted to do something slightly out of the ordinary for my typical practice: pull a focus card for the week ahead. I wasn't in the mood for Tarot or Lenormand; I realized that it was Oracle time! I grabbed my Halloween Oracle, which I haven't used since early November, and settled down on the couch to shuffle.

I pulled Vampire: Emotional Intelligence.

Halloween Oracle - S. DeMarco

After some thought I realized that it's quite apt given what I've already experienced regarding my previous week or two! Some questions I pose to myself:

How well am I regulating my emotions and emotional responses?
In what ways can I create boundaries so that other people and situations don't drain me?
How can I foster a balanced give-and-take in my interactions with other people?

I've noticed that I've been more easily affected by my environment over the last few days, with stronger emotional reactions than tend to be normal for me (mostly teary, but occasionally irritable). In large part that's due to being sleepier than usual due to a busy, active past few weeks. Sleepier-than-usual = nerves more easily frayed. In these instances it becomes particularly important to take a step back and allow for a moment of reflection in order to gain perspective. Sometimes the little things that set us off really aren't that big a deal in the grand scheme of things, and certainly aren't worth expending our valuable energy on being upset about.

One place I am sure I'll need to be mindful about my emotional responses is during one of the classes I'm teaching this month; I have a difficult student who's been trying my patience. I'm pretty laid back and have a great sense of humor, so it takes almost a miracle for me to lose my cool. This month many miracles have come to pass, I'll just put it that way. This will be my last week with this particular crew of college kids, and I want to enjoy it as much as possible, so I will focus on the joy I can find in each moment, and keep my emotional well-being in focus.

Just as I sat down to write this post I took a moment to finish reading an article by Jia Tolentino of an interview conducted with a fellow Lukumí practitioner, Caridad, that was quite well done. And in a moment of pristinely perfect synchronicity (even beyond what is evident from this post) this is what I read:

I appreciate Lucumi for all it has taught me about honoring life for all its contradictions and multiplicities. The idea of “both/and” transcending “either/or” is really present. It’s been very helpful for me, in anything from problems at work to breakups. Also, the idea of some orishas teaching backwards—that some lessons come unexpectedly and from a context that feels really tough. I’m a teacher, and I used to get these kids that were just wilin’ out, just so very crazy—and I learned to identify it as, “That's Eleggua's trickster energy.”

And that would bring a change in me—I’d go from being reactionary to being able to genuinely say “Thank you for showing up” to both Eleggua and the young folks themselves. This is where growing up within Buddhism really shaped my practice of Lucumi. I think it’s helped me be present and accepting with life as it is, at the same time that I try to be transformative when I need change.

Elegua
Image by Andrea Corniel

A Reading Special for October!

For the month of October I'm offering a special deal on Halloween Oracle readings!

For $15 you'll receive a 3-card oracle reading that will provide insights and guidance on a matter of importance to you. To take advantage of this offer please see the Reading Request page by clicking here.

I've been working with the Halloween Oracle, by Stacey Demarco (art by Jimmy Manton), for some time now and find the images to be stunning, and the card messages to hit home quite potently. To hear a list of some of the card titles, see my October Taroscopes.

Happy October!

A Moth Unfolding Its Wings

It's Sunday evening. I filled my belly with a simple dinner of roast chicken, mashed potatoes with garlic, and carrots. Later I decocted carefully-sliced ginger root and added lime juice and honey to make one of my favorite hot beverages. As I listen to my children's chatter, their pre-bed busy-ness, I've decided to pull a card for my week ahead, using my Halloween Oracle (Stacey Demarco).

I shuffled my cards, and drew Death. Sigh. My first thought was: again? This card has been following me closely of late. In fact it was my card of the month from my Taroscopes for October: 

"Significant aspects of your life are shifting and changing, which can be pretty uncomfortable. Know that the transformations unfolding now will ultimately leave you stronger, and even happier, when all is said and done."  

Halloween Oracle - Stacey Demarco

Yes, this week, and this month, are certainly times of big change. Gabriel has just started attending daycare, which in and of itself is a huge transition. He's three years old and loves to socialize; he was very ready for this. When my girls reached this milestone in their lives they were not particularly happy about it. In fact, Lourdes cried so much, and was so miserable, we ended up plucking her right out of the center again after three weeks, and she didn't set foot inside such an establishment again until she started kindergarten (at which time she was startlingly ready). Gabriel, however, has been raring to go, and has not cried at all. Well, that's not entirely true. When I pick him up and ask him how his day went, he reports: "I played, and I cried." When I ask him why he cried, he says, "Because I didn't want to sleep. Sleeping isn't fun." He is not a big fan of institutional nap-time. But he loves "school" and is happy to go every morning, which is a blessing. 

Another massive change has happened simultaneously: Jorge has flown off to the far, autumnal reaches of Scandinavia to work for at least a couple of months. It's the first time he's ever been gone for so long, and it's a significant transition. He's sad. I'm sad. The kids are sad. The distance irritates me, and I have to work to keep the big picture in mind. He left last Wednesday and fortunately we've been able to speak each day which has provided some peace of mind (and heart). 

On pages 27-28 of the Halloween Oracle book, Demarco writes: "Do not be afraid if you pull the Death card as it simply means that something is falling away, or will do so, so you can begin strongly afresh. There is great power in this clearing." 

This is true, and I feel it in my bones and in the depths of my soul. Despite the big changes moving through my life at present, I am keenly aware that ultimately these changes are occurring for an important reason, and that these fluctuations are just as they should be. I'm grateful for them, in fact, in the way that sore muscles after a powerful workout kind of feel good in a way; the achy newness of a moth unfolding its wings. 

Taroscopes for October 2014

It's the first day of one of my favorite months of the year, and in thirty more days this mysterious and sacred time culminates with Halloween, Samhain. Though I live in Florida now I see and sense the changes in the season. Down here, far in the south, there are three discernible seasons: Summer, Spring, and Autumn. To someone unfamiliar with the subtleties of this environment it may seem that summer reigns for most of the year, but to those of us who live here year round, there is most definitely a quietly buzzing gleam of change in the air once September hits. You know, like when the ten-day forecast includes more days in the 80s than the 90s. When the evening low dares dip below 70. I rub my hands together, grinning with delight, and start brewing the mulled cider.

So in honor of this special time of year, I have decided to use my (rather new) Halloween Oracle, by Stacey Demarco, for this month's….(oracle)scopes!

Halloween Oracle - S. Demarco

Capricorn - Death: Significant aspects of your life are shifting and changing, which can be pretty uncomfortable. Know that the transformations unfolding now will ultimately leave you stronger, and even happier, when all is said and done.

Aquarius - Nightsong: You have a pot of gold hidden away inside you. You may have been reluctant to share your gifts and talents with others out of insecurity, fears, anxieties, or even self-doubt, but now is the time to let yourself be seen.

Pisces - Invisibility: This month consider how your inner and outer lives match up. Are you allowing people to know the real you, or do you have a tendency to compartmentalize? What steps can you take toward living and embodying your truth?

Aries - Ancestors: Regardless of your cultural or ethnic background, no matter how far back your knowledge of your forebears goes, you have a rich ancestral heritage living within you, ready to be tapped into. Allow those who have come before to nourish you. Remember that your spiritual ancestors are just as important as the biological - honor them, and let them guide you.

Taurus - Skull of Darkness: This card encourages you to make October a month for exploring the parts of yourself that you tend to neglect. Shining a light into the corners of your heart and mind can be difficult, but therein may lie the key to important healing.

Gemini - Jack-O-Lantern: This month consider your personal boundaries. Do you shut people out? Do you let people enter your life and take what they will? You have within you the strength to lead the life that you desire; a critical step toward manifesting it lies in being strong enough to know when to say yes, and when to say no.

Cancer - Dawn: The greatest tool in your possession is your ability to trust in the coming of the morning after a long night has passed. Hope will enlighten your heart - embrace it and let it be your focal point. Know that a positive phase of life is being born.

Leo - Hearth: Make loved ones a priority this month. Connect and reconnect, make room and make time, be willing to fix what isn't working as smoothly as it should.

Virgo - Owl: Night vision would be handy this month, but since you probably aren't an owl, be open to seeking as much objective guidance as you can. Don't make big decisions lightly.

Libra - Apple: They say that oftentimes the greatest rewards come through the greatest risks. But risks can be scary! Being cautious can be smart, unless you consistently shy away from things when the seas become a bit choppy. You might be missing out on the good stuff! Try to find a happy medium.

Scorpio - Underworld: When you begin to live a life that reflects your genuine self, it's natural to undergo a process of transition. If that realignment frightens you, know that it's only temporary, and the long-term benefits will likely be fulfilling.

Sagittarius - Vampire: Show love and help others insofar as there is a healthy exchange and mutual benefit. If the scale is getting off-balance learn to reinforce your boundaries; protect your emotional well-being.

The theme card for the month of October is JOY. This card asks each and every one of us to consider the following questions:

How can I bring more joy into my life?
What joyful aspects of my life am I overlooking, or under-appreciating?
In what ways can I share joy with others?
How do I open myself to receive joy into my life?
What can I do to bring joy to those around me?

Halloween Oracle - S. Demarco

Hey, I think that would make a pretty nice spread! What a lovely way to wrap things up ;-)

Happy October!

Witches Are Healers

Yesterday morning I woke up and went straight to the kitchen to begin to prepare a brew. My youngest child developed a rather nasty cold, full of congestion and coughs and the day before I had prepared a batch of tea using elderberry and elderflower, lemon balm, echinacea root, peppermint, mullein, and a couple of other herbal goodies. After giving him three or four cups throughout the day I started to see a significant improvement in his congestion and coughing, and that night he slept fairly well. So I was motivated, and first thing in the morning set myself to making a new batch of the same wonderful tea.

Healing tea a'brewing!

Fortunately my son loves tea, and didn't mind drinking so many cups of "the same flavor." So I began my day yesterday by preparing a second round of healing tea, during which my husband laughed and said "te ves bruja de verdad!" (You really look like a witch!) I suppose it was seeing me standing there surrounded by herbs, roots, and berries, hand-mixing a special concoction into a muslin tea bag, the steam of boiling water curling around me. I smiled. He likes it when I get "witchy."

Straining arnica oil

Later in the morning he set out to the store to pick up some groceries and I asked him to buy some lemons and garlic for an anti-cold drink I was planning to make for myself that day (after tending to the little one, I was starting to get that "feeling" in the back of my throat - the one that tips you off that you might just get a cold, too, if you're not careful). I remembered that I wanted to apply more oil to my High John pocket piece, so I sat down for a moment to tend to that. My husband had been gone for a while when I suddenly realized that I was missing an ingredient for the arnica salve I wanted to prepare to help him combat some shoulder pain he was having. As I settled down to pick a Halloween Oracle card-of-the-day (focused on the question "what will the predominant energy of my day be?") I phoned him quickly to ask him if he was still at the market. He was, thankfully. And as I was telling him what I needed him to purchase and where he could find it, I pulled…the Witch! Yes, I laughed at that!

Halloween Oracle - Stacey Demarco

On page 70 of the accompanying book Stacey Demarco writes: "Through spells and rituals and even through herbal recipes (yes, often brewed in a cauldron!) they weave the powers of this world and the next in synergy to solve problems and heal." Talk about fitting! I work with herbs (and other things) regularly but yesterday I spent quite a bit more time than usual on my own brews and healing applications, so it was a perfect reflection of my day thus far.

Eventually I prepared myself for teaching, and set off for an afternoon of guiding, directing, and instructing a group of adolescent males (fun, but I usually leave those sessions rather hoarse!). As I left class and was standing outside waiting for Jorge to swing by to pick me up, I was scrolling through my favorite app, Zite, and found an interesting article about the survival of the American indigenous midewiwin society, the shamanic healers of the Anishnaabe and other Algonquin peoples of the northeastern region of the current-day United States. I remembered studying this society when I was probably 13 years old, and drawing a picture of what a midewiwin ceremony might have looked like. I hadn't really heard anyone speak (or write) of this society very much since then, so it really brought me back in time. The article was focused on how the midewiwin practices suffered but were not completely lost when Christianity spread through northern parts of North America via the French settlers and jesuits.

By the end of the day I was sprawled across the couch watching the latest episode of the Lifetime show "Witches of East End." Silly, kind of soap-opera-ish, but somewhat entertaining all the same.

In multiple ways that Witch card was wonderfully apt, with many relevant themes having been woven throughout my entire day, from start to finish. And while I don't have a particular label for myself in terms of what I do and how I practice ritual, or work with plants, I realize that much of what I do is in line with how many people describe witchcraft (and hedge witchcraft is a pretty accurate self-description, I suppose). Perhaps I prefer more benign-sounding names like "root worker" or "healer." In the end, however, they all share a common source, and in some way or another any of those titles may be correct. Witches are healers. Shamans are healers. Root workers are healers. And I was perfectly happy being a witch for a day ;)

The Hearth is the Heart of the Home

Life has its ups and downs, its Wheel of Fortune tumultuous spins that take you to places you never thought you'd find yourself - both really wonderful, and at times really unpleasant. People marry, babies are born, economic upswings instill hope and possibility, wars quicken, epidemics unfurl, friendships that once seemed promising are somehow lost. Over the past several months my own Wheel has done quite a bit of turning, and it's easy to get caught up in the flashes and colors, climbs and descents. Like turning off a radio that's blaring mixed signals, sometimes it's good to hunker down and shut out the white noise, figure out what's more important, and let that guide you forward.

With that in mind, last night I sat down and asked my Halloween Oracle deck what I really needed to focus on at this moment, above all else. I pulled: the Hearth.

Halloween Oracle, Stacey Demarco/Jimmy Manton

This accompanying book talks about how in ancient Rome the hearth was considered the heart of the home, the dwelling place of Vesta, a goddess closely associated with the family. This is a card that encourages nourishment and attention to family ties, and also portends the well-being of any relatives that are temporarily far away from warming fires of home. This card is welcome and feels very in tune with the ebb and flow of my own present energies. It's time to move inward to the core of my dearest and most intimate community, to focus on my loved ones, to connect with their lives and stories, and to share my own in return. In the end, this is what's most important, and I know that as I reach out and give energy toward fortifying those bonds, they will feed me in return. This is precisely the sort of sustenance I need. It's a wonderfully apt card to draw following the Joy card I drew on the previous day in regard to my husband's upcoming trip. My task is to settle my focus down around my family like a hen over her eggs. (And perhaps light some candles and bake some bread, too!)

The Halloween Oracle: My Partner's Leaving Home

I was on a date this morning with my beloved husband. With three kids, our "dates" typically consist of an hour or two at a coffee shop, but the truth is that I love those brief moments alone together, and the conversations we have. Today's conversation related in part to his impending travel to Europe for work. He's had a great opportunity arise that will take him away from home for at least a month, and possibly longer. On one hand I'm happy for him and this open door, and I feel it's the right move to make. On the other hand the idea of being apart for so long (and managing our small empire on my own) definitely feels daunting.

After an hour of chatting and planning and thinking and enjoying we decided it was time to go. Fortunately for me there was a bookstore within walking distance, and I can't resist the smell of thousands of books (and cards, ahem) in one place, so I did manage to convince Jorge to make a quick stop there before returning home. I made a cursory check of the metaphysical section, not planning on finding anything particularly motivating, but I was quite wrong! The Halloween Oracle by Stacey DeMarco was sitting there on the shelf peering back at me longingly. I've been following this oracle since pre-production and was very attracted to the style of art. Well, that, and also I love Halloween! I have the Halloween Tarot deck which I like a lot, but it's rather cartoonish for my tastes. This oracle, as my daughter Lourdes put it, "looks more real." Since it was released I've seen many divination colleagues pouncing on it, but despite my long wait I didn't make a move. I suppose it didn't feel like quite the right moment. And yet there it was on the shelf in its shiny cellophane wrapper, calling my name. So I plucked that baby off the shelf and tucked in under my arm, and went off in search of Jorge, who happily agreed that I should buy it (yesssss!).

At home I sorted through the cards and naturally wanted to give it a test drive. I decided to ask about the best way for me to approach this big change coming our way in a few weeks as Jorge flies to distant lands on mysterious adventures. I shuffled, arced the cards, and selected one:

Halloween Oracle, S. DeMarco

Joy! This card shows a woman with raised arms, fall leaves floating down around her, and features the subtitle: Rejoicing in the present. Sigh. Yes, it's true that I've been spending a lot of time wrapped up in my concerns and fears and reluctance, and that as a result I've probably not been spending enough time thoroughly enjoying and savoring these final few weeks leading up to Jorge's departure. The woman in this card doesn't look particularly joyous - her body language is open and welcoming, but her facial expression is rather dour. I'm not entirely happy with the prospect of my family being temporarily divided, but this card encourages me to get over it. Sometimes you have to go through the motions first, and eventually the movements begin to form meaning, and things don't seem quite as bad as they once did. This card encourages me to live in the moment, to enjoy the present with my family rather than focusing so breathlessly on the future. And perhaps by focusing on the positive aspects of his trip, the things that make me really happy that he's going, I can improve and lighten my outlook - find joy - even in those moments when I must face the reality of this significant shift (no matter how brief its duration).

I really like this oracle. This is new for me since the only other oracles I use focus specifically on animal teachings and energy. But I appreciate the art, the theme, and the relevance of the messages represented on each card. I look forward to using it more as we descend into fall!