Circles, Cycles, Dreams, and Runes

On Monday I thought I'd pull a pair of cards for the week from the Giants Tarot. The Queen of Cups (Ran) came flying out of the deck, and I drew the High Priestess (Angrboda) as her complement. What an interesting pair, I thought, regarding their close partnership: water, intuition, passivity, contemplation, wisdom, femininity, emotional intelligence.

This morning I decided to take the day off to spend with my kids, as tomorrow they all begin once again that spiral dance of the school cycle, with my son just embarking on his own as he takes his first steps into Kindergarten. So I was sitting at the kitchen table nursing my second cup of coffee and continuing my journey through Futhark (by Edred Thorsson, a.k.a. Stephen Flowers). I paused when my husband came to the table, and pulled out the Earthbound Oracle; he pulled a card, I pulled a card. I drew Luna, that perfect, pale circle. I thought how fitting it was to pull this moon after having drawn two very closely aligned Tarot cards for the week. More water, cycles, and emotional food for thought. 

I kept reading.

I read Thorsson's discussion of the cosmic void from which the runic system and its energies descend, about how Odin, Vili, and Ve gave form and structure to those energies in the creation of the multiverse. And as I flipped the page I saw a diagram of the futhark pattern of manifestation, a series of concentric circles expanding out from a central point, a core out of which the runes arrange themselves in linear patterns. As I examined the diagram it touched on a dream I had back in May, and I opened my journal to find the entry I had written about it.

My dream was not obviously runic. I had it at a time when I was struggling a bit with how to incorporate two different religious/spiritual traditions and cosmologies into my personal practice - could I integrate Santería and the Northern Tradition harmoniously? Would I, or should I, choose only one? In many ways I have come to understand that Santería has both brought me more fully to the Northern Tradition, and has helped me contextualize it. I understand Northern cosmology more intimately because of my understanding of Lucumí cosmology. I understand and relate to the deities as individual energies and unique personalities because of my relationships with the Orishas. I don't mix and match faiths - I believe in tradition, and value depth above breadth. Santería was not a religion I had sought out - it became a part of me through my cohabitation with the saints over a period of a decade or more, and via my husband. One day I realized that the saints were alive within me, a part of my family, guides, and protectors, and teachers, and friends. It doesn't get much more organic than that. This was the point at which I formally entered into the mystery religion by way of initiation, and has been, and continues to be, a source of great sustenance for me.

Through ancestral veneration and exploration I more fully began to explore the Northern Tradition as a way of connecting to my Scandinavian/Germanic forebears (I wrote about this in a previous post). And as I delved into the Eddas and the Northern cosmology, the runic system, I found so much richness and satiation. It grew and expanded in my heart, mind, and spirit, such that it became far deeper than simply "honoring history." And yet I found myself worrying about whether or not I could, or should, practice two religions at the same time. Was it right? Was it doable? Could I fully embrace both without sacrificing either? My intellect was struggling, but my heart told me that it was my own limited, "human" thinking that was raising a fuss over compartmentalization; my heart told me that there was no conflict here.

While my dream was not runic, per se, it mirrored this futhark pattern of manifestation. In my dream I felt the presence of Odin, and I could see what seemed like a picture of the cosmos, as if I were in outer space. Concentric circles of cloud-like material surrounded a central point, like the Earth, and the idea was that the image before me was showing how throughout time old gods and goddesses would slowly dissipate and new gods and goddesses would develop to take their places, but that ultimately they were all part of the same force. There was great comfort in that. These deities and entities exist both sequentially and simultaneously in time.

A rough depiction of my dream

I knew that I could, and would, continue to walk this path, and that I would learn how to "do both" through the process of living it out, as opposed to trying to intellectualize it all. At times I feel like Odin and Obatalá - all of the gods and goddesses and orishas - are friendly associates, conferring with each other, working together, supporting one another in the pursuit of the same ultimate end-goals. I have always felt that Elegua, my best friend, held my hand, and opened the door for me to explore this ancestral history. I have at times sensed that Odin is happy for me to "make saint," and supports me in the endeavor. When I think about it, it makes sense - Odin is the ultimate explorer. He would not impose limitations, rather he would promote my exposure to all of the good that the universe has to offer, no matter its form.

In the end, the universe, the experience of "being," is so dynamic. Insofar as our own progress is concerned, we are often our own worst enemies, placing barriers where none exist, projecting our own limitations onto divine forces, creating rules of engagement that are ultimately fabrications of our own attempt at understanding the Great Mystery (or putting that mystery in a tidy box)*. As a human, I acknowledge that I don't know much at all, and that I do fear and worry from time to time. But when all is said and done, I am open to receiving that mystery, even when I can do nothing but simply accept it.




*I don't believe in picking and choosing the "favorable" parts of a religious tradition, and throwing out the rest, nor do I (generally speaking) support the practice of honoring a patchwork pantheon of various deities outside of the context of their history, culture, and original traditional framework. There is too much room for cultural appropriation there. I do, however, believe that there is far more flexibility in the spiritual world than humans tend to acknowledge or allow for.

The Gods and Orishas: On Fate, Destiny, and Free Will

In the world of divination, the concept of fate, destiny, and free will is commonly discussed. Can we know the future? Is the future set in stone? Do we create our own future? How able are we to influence or change what is foreseen in the cards?

Opinions surrounding this topic vary from reader to reader. My own perspective is informed both by personal experience and by the sacred stories of the two religions that live in my heart: Ifá/Santería, and the Northern Tradition.

Destiny, in a general sense, is actually treated quite similarly within both religious frameworks, and my own experiences in divination reflect the complexities and mysteries present there.

Elekes and mjölnir

To start, I’ll recap the story of Baldr’s death, as per the Poetic Edda:

Frigg, wife of Odin, is said to weave Wyrd (the Anglo-Saxon term for the Norse "Urd"), to be a seeress who seldom speaks of what she knows. When her son Baldr begins to have dreams of his own death, Odin travels to Hela and raises a dead witch in order to ask about it. He sees that the hall of Hela seems to be prepared to receive a new soul, and the witch confirms that they are waiting for Baldr. When Odin tells Frigg what he learned, she travels the worlds securing oaths from all things big and small that they will not cause Baldr’s death. Even though she is a seeress she still does what she can to prevent that tragedy from occurring. And yet she fails to secure an oath from mistletoe because she feels that it is too unassuming to be a real danger. Loki ends up using his notoriously deceptive means to learn of this. Later, when the Gods are playing a (really dumb) game to see how, when thrown at him, axes and arrows and swords fail to hurt Baldr, Loki gives a mistletoe dart to the blind God Hödur. Of course, when he throws it, Baldr falls dead. Even then Frigg sends another son to Hela to ask if there is any way to send Baldr back from the dead, and Hela says that if Frigg can prove that all beings in existence weep for Baldr, then she will release him back to the living. But there is one creature who refuses to cry: Loki (yet again) in disguise, and so Baldr stays put in Hela until after Ragnarök.

What this story shows is how inevitable some events are. Frigg is a seeress and that (of course) doesn’t stop her from doing all she can to try to prevent the death of her son. And despite all of her remarkable efforts, she loses him anyway. (There is a greater part of the story here of course, in that after the world ends, Baldr is released from Hela to bring light, peace, and love to the worlds once again. In that sense, Baldr’s death had a greater ultimate purpose for the well-being of the universe.)

In Wyrd, there are things that make up certain aspects of your destiny that you are bound to, that are unlikely to be greatly altered no matter what you might do. There are other aspects of your future that you live out according to your past: the consequences of your own actions, for good or for bad. And within Wyrd there is some room to improve your Wyrd, to influence your own path, whether that be through actions taken, or “simply” by an alteration of perspective. Interestingly, even the Gods, who we often assume to be omnipotent, are at the mercy of Wyrd (as we see with Baldr and Frigg).

Similarly, in Ifá, there is the concept of orí, which is one’s personal destiny, connection to divinity – in a sense it is the part of each person that is an orisha, that is holy. There is also Orí, a divine being that “owns” all orís. Like Wyrd, there are ways to live in “right relationship” with your own orí – to honor it, respect it, be open to it. And there are ways to influence your destiny via “being seen by Orula” – mirarse con Orula (a consultation with a babalawo) - whereby you may be instructed to tend to particular orishas, to your ancestors, to your orí, even to such things as the cleanliness of your home, in order to improve your overall environment, and invite better fortune. And like the Northern Tradition, one’s own orí trumps the influence and intercession of the orishas. There is a sacred story that tells of a man being dragged by the foot through a village by his own orí. He shouted for Chango to come help him. When Chango heard the man’s calls he came running, weapon in hand, prepared to fight in the man’s defense. But when Chango saw that it was the man’s own orí that had hold of him, he knew there was nothing he could do, and he went back home.

These stories and myths suggest that there are many layers to our future, to our destiny, to time as a whole (which is decidedly non-linear). Some aspects may not be significantly changeable, no matter what we do to influence them. Other aspects relate to our own free will – the choices we make in life, the attitudes with which we approach the circumstances that arise on our paths. Our ultimate freedom lies within our own perception. There is great power in that.

In the Havamal, stanzas 55-56, Odin (who won the wisdom of the runes) says: “You should be only a little wise, never too wise. A wise man’s heart is seldom glad, if he’s truly wise; You should be only a little wise, never too wise. It’s best not to know your fate beforehand; you’ll live happier if you don’t.”*

I get that. Sometimes I just don’t want to know. I’ve had experiences where I have seen the future laid out the cards, and it’s not always a pleasant experience, though my experiences have differed according to the degree of event foreseen. Once I saw a minor money glitch in a line of Lenormand that helped me prevent an overdraft fee – that was ultimately a good thing, and I was able to change the outcome there (though it could be considered relatively inconsequential in the grand scheme of things). Another time (recently, in fact) I saw that a person that I was in the process of hiring would ultimately be denied at the last moment due to the school’s financial constraints. That was not at all what I wanted or hoped to happen, but seeing that gave me the opportunity to consider alternatives, and to get used to the idea, and by the time the official announcement was made I was feeling perfectly okay with it all. In that case I couldn’t change the outcome, but was able to receive it with a positive attitude. In yet another instance I saw the illness of a friend’s mother in the cards, about three months prior to it coming about. In that case I was troubled by it because there was really nothing that could be done, other than perhaps to prepare financially for a visit (in this case you couldn’t really even be “positive” about it, so it was unpleasant all the way around). Odin’s advice is sensible because, as in the case of Frigg, even the wisest of individuals can struggle at times to come to terms with unpleasant outcomes.

And as a card reader, my general sense of things is that many clients don’t know how to process undesired future possibilities (though that usually doesn’t prevent them from asking). These days, when reading for others, I tend to place the greatest emphasis on the past and the present, above all. Setting aside the idea of those future events that may be inevitable, there is space to positively influence our own lives, right now. By understanding the past, the root of our current dilemmas, and by looking at ways to embrace our own agency – our power over our present – we accept our responsibility to ourselves and our communities, we invite in growth and evolution, we honor our orí, and we work to improve our Wyrd.

My uncle said, over 20 years ago: “Attitude is everything.” It etched itself on my psyche and I’ve never forgotten it. Our greatest and truest sense of “free will” lies in our willingness to invite in new perspectives, to see the grace in challenging circumstances – to be positive even when it would be simpler to be otherwise. It is hard, at times, but therein lies our deepest power.





*Translation by Jackson Crawford, 2015.

Religion As Spiritual Sustenance

I was raised with elements of Christianity, paganism, and indigenous ideology. While I was christened in the UCC as a baby, my mother was always searching for "the right fit." She was born into a Catholic family and celebrated her First Communion in the streets of southern Italy, wrapped in a white, lacy gown that hugged her small form. She always described the Catholicism of her childhood as "pagan" because while everyone loved the Pope, people practiced their faith in their own ways, often incorporating aspects of folk magic, such as using cornicellos to ward off the evil eye.

Cornicello and sign of the horns. Photo Credit: CRWR

When I was a girl I recall experimenting, alongside my mother, the worship practices of the Unitarians and Episcopalians. I remember attending a sacred circle with her at a retreat and educational facility tucked away in the Michigan forest, called Circle Pines, where I had my first taste of the power of meditative group trance. In my teen years my mother began to recognize the Celtic Wheel of the Year, and I remember becoming very familiar with Beltane and Samhain, and reveling in the creation of the ancestral altar.

In my early 20s I sat through a sweat lodge ceremony with my Ojibway boyfriend and other members of the local native community. My indigenous Costa Rican college professor was there, and in the evening while everyone was enjoying a communal meal, I helped his Anishnaabe wife bring the spirit plate outside and set it at the foot of a towering oak tree.

Sweat lodge/Walt Hubis

Throughout my life I always spent endless hours alone in the woods, absorbing the breeze, the river water, the movements of the deer, fox, and rabbits, picking raspberries and letting myself fly with the soul of the wild. All of these things impacted me in important ways. I grew up appreciating all faiths, and finding deep value in the uniqueness they each had to offer, and the similar qualities they shared.

Still, I had never found a "seat for my soul" until after marrying my husband who had been raised with Santería in Santos Suarez, Havana, Cuba. After many years of living with the Orishas in our home, I one day realized they had become my dear family and my friends. My journey in Santería and Ifá had begun even before I'd become conscious of it, and has continued through the years to feed me in rich and indescribably wonderful ways as I've experienced initiations, delved deeply into the Yoruba perspective and cosmology, and grown in community with my family and ilé.  In the end, my religious practice was not something I sought out, but something that found me instead.

Yemaya dancer/James Emery

But I know that not everyone has positive experiences with religion and religious structure. I know that many have difficult memories of organized faith communities, and who prefer the freedom of expression that an unrestricted spiritual ideology offers. I've even found seekers who discover the beauty of the Orishas, but reject the ritual traditions that form the historical, ancestral, religious, and ceremonial context in which they are meant to be understood, explored, and experienced.

It is true that religion devoid of spirituality can be a dangerous entity, and in my experience it is the union of the two that create what for me is a deeply satisfying whole. And while many are content and well-served with spirituality devoid of religion, I do find that many "spiritual-not-religious" people develop practices that provide them some sort of structure, whether it be pulling Tarot cards for guidance, maintaining an altar, or honoring the turn of the seasons (and in fact these are all aspects of my own spiritual practice as well).

There is a subsection of people in the "esoteric" community (and in many communities, I suspect) that are very opposed to what they perceive as a rigid and authoritarian religious hierarchy that disempowers individuals. I wanted to explore this further, as there are people (like me) that have had a very different experience with religion. I decided to pull some cards:

"What represents religion at its worst - the aspects that drive people away?" The 5 of Swords almost immediately flew out of the deck.

Prisma Visions Tarot/James Eads

Interestingly this is often called the "bully card," and I'd say that "bullying" is an apt term to use to describe the negative experiences that some have had with organized religion. The 5 of Swords says, "it's my way or the highway," and represents the impulse to dominate others. In the religious context this can be the move to monopolize belief systems, to control the behavior of others (often via fear), and symbolizes the dogmatic systems used to beat out those who are deemed "less than."

What I like in this picture is the one figure watching the butterfly as it flies away from the fight as if wondering, "Could there be another way?" Divinity is out there swirling above their heads but they're so wrapped up in their victor-less battle for "right" over "wrong" that they don't even seem to notice.

This way of thinking ("my way is the only way", "if you don't act right you're going to pay") is a sickness of many, if not all, religious practices that have stepped away from spiritual creeds and become dominated by ego and baser instincts. However it doesn't mean that the religion itself has no value, rather that some of the people running the show have lost their way. So I ask....

"At best, what does religion offer?" I pulled the Hierophant, and the 2 of Wands flipped out as well.

Prisma Visions Tarot/James Eads

I find this to be a very fitting duo. The 2 of Wands is about choice, personal power and growth, and a search for the right path. We don't practice a faith because it is forced upon us (that defeats the essence of "faith," really). We practice it, learn it, live it and breathe it, we struggle with it and we love it, because we have made the choice to do so, and because it empowers us rather than disempowering us.

The Hierophant at first glance seems kind of funny: religion at its best is... religion? But no. Religion at its best is tradition. In the Handbook of Yoruba Religious Concepts (1994), Baba Ifa Karade writes: "Religion, as a custom of worship, is not man's purpose, but only a means to an end while the end itself is iwa-pele (balanced, gentle character). The fundamental reality in respect to the divinity of self and the heavenly forces is that of pure and enlightened character development" (pg. 23).

Religion isn't the purpose, it's simply a path, a means to improve the self and develop strong character with integrity. There are many roads that lead to the same goal, like there are stars in the sky. Nowadays most people have the opportunity to discover a faith practice that resonates with them - or to choose none at all.

I find my religion to be a great source of spiritual sustenance and wisdom, and the traditions are meaningful and sacred to me. Incidentally, while there are certain ways of conducting ritual and ceremony that should be followed (and even this will vary from house to house), there is generally a lot of flexibility and free will within the structure of the religion. Most often we receive advice or recommendations as opposed to mandates. This allows for a great deal of personal freedom and development. Even if someone were to unknowingly commit a "transgression" it's seen as a learning opportunity. There is a saying, "La inocencia se perdona" ("innocence is forgiven").

I am deeply fed by my relationship with the Orishas. They are not abstract concepts, or interesting-sounding entities; they are my father, my mother, my Warriors, my best friend, my teachers, my allies, my family. As I grow in my practice and knowledge, my relationship with them, with God, with my ancestors, and with myself, continues to deepen and blossom in wondrous, fulfilling, and beautiful ways. That, to me, is what it's all about.

"Only when you allow religion to be more than a book of rules or a means to get power can you internalize the fundamental truth about Creation: that our world overflows with the Sacred."
(pg. 24, Tobe Melora Correal; Finding Soul on the Path of Orisa, 2003).