New Breath

It has been eight months and five days since my last blog post. I took a lengthy sabbatical largely due to the requirements of my personal life. Without sharing too many details I can at least say that the last year has encompassed the very worst and very best moments of my life, to date (saying that always reminds me of the first line from A Tale of Two Cities!). I stopped writing because I could not write - both literally and figuratively.

And now I find myself unapologetically and fearlessly able to resume this expression.

I pulled a card on the most convenient divination device: my phone app. How to describe the path that has led me to this point? Succinctly and not surprisingly it gave me the Tower:

A great rupture in the fabric of life. A great purge and burning. A great ripping and reemergence. A great reckoning. A great realization and, as the Star that follows this one in the Major Arcana, a great hope. A great healing. A great peace. A divine stillness. A coming home and a Becoming.

A deep exhale.
A filling of new breath.

8 of Cups: Go to the Doctor!

I am slowly recovering from a bad cold that led me directly into a flare-up of asthma. Getting myself back out of the "hole" is taking just about as long as it did to reach the depths of the valley, but I am definitely seeing progress each day, and I'm grateful for that. Last Thursday I tried to secure an appointment with my doctor, but unfortunately the receptionist informed me that the last open spot had just been taken, and if I needed any medical care prior to the following Monday I'd have to go to the urgent care center. I spent some time muttering to myself about the U.S. health care system (what's the point of having a primary care doc if you can't get in to see them when you're unwell?). Between long wait times and a higher co-pay, I was feeling reluctant to go to urgent care, and yet I knew that "something" was brewing.

Still, couldn't I swing it with herbal tea? Maybe I could get some eucalyptus and have a nice steam! I decided to consult my Tarot app: "Should I stay home and do homeopathic treatments, or should I go to the doctor?" Tarot app said:

Dammit! It doesn't get much clearer than this in Tarot World. The 8 of Cups was telling me to suck it up and go to urgent care. Still, I hesitated. I put it off. I waited until later in the afternoon, and when my husband returned from work, he started in on me: health is far more important than anything else - get going! So I went.

I waited for two hours, and yes, I paid a really annoying fee to see the doctor, but my hunch was right: my lungs were a hot mess, I needed a nebulizer treatment and a round of prednisone, and I really needed it in that moment - waiting would have been a poor choice. As reluctant as I was to heed the advice of the 8 of Cups, I'm glad I finally did!