Be Ever Grateful

This morning I "pulled" the 8 of Bolers/Pentacles from my Buckland Romani Tarot app as my daily draw. I thought, "Ah, makes sense, I'll be slowly making my way through work today...." Mmhm. I got ready to go, my husband and I dropped our younger daughter at school, and we set off toward my workplace. As we were within a few blocks of our destination, the car suddenly shut down and refused to restart. It wasn't the battery; I knew it was something worse, I just didn't know what. We were at a dead halt in the middle of a very busy, very fast road, but fortunately a couple of friendly passersby helped Jorge to push the car into a nearby parking lot. I mused to him: "You know, you'd have thought I would have pulled the Tower or something, not the 8 of Pentacles. Seriously." We called for a tow, and while my husband sat waiting to be taken to a mechanic, I walked the rest of the way to work to meet my class.

Buckland Romani Tarot

Later my husband called me and said, "Not good news. The engine is useless, and they say that it doesn't make sense to repair it - we need a new car." Oh shit! This was the second part: "Since I have no way to get you, see if you can find a ride home." Yes. Over a year ago I was run into by a texting-while-driving sort, and our other car was totaled. We took that as a sign that it was the right time to downsize, to save money, to lower our carbon footprint. So we were a one-car family. And now we were suddenly, and without warning, a no-car family in a city with terrible public transportation, where having a car has become essential.

On my way back to my office after class I took a detour and saw that my director's office door was slightly open. I didn't know what I was going to say, but I decided to say hello. I had written an email to my colleagues asking for a ride home, and she'd just seen it. She said hi, and asked about my situation. I told her that it would probably impact my next day's teaching schedule, and asked for ideas about how to manage it. Suddenly she said, "You know what? Just take my car!" I called her "crazy" several times, and also thanked her a few times, and soon I was on my way home, in her little blue Nissan. On the way I stopped at the mechanic to pick up my husband. As he was paying for the inspection, I sat patiently in the waiting room. Suddenly I got the joke:

My view from the car repair shop waiting room

I was in a car repair shop. Just like the one on the 8 of Bolers card. You know, within reason, taking into account the cultural context and decade. I laughed. And then I took a picture. You have to appreciate the way the universe works, no matter how dire the circumstances, really.

So we were a bit stuck. We had a repair quote exceeding $7000, no car, a kid in school who would eventually require a ride home, and I had to teach again the next couple of days. I couldn't keep my boss's car forever. This was a true WTF moment, though a true gem was the moment when my husband actually handed me the estimate, and as I reached the final price I just started to laugh, and he laughed right along with me. Because what else is there to do? If someone hands you a repair quote that high for your only vehicle, that is just about all there is to be done about it.

As we drove home I said to Jorge, "You know, this really does suck a lot, but there are so many ways in which we are fortunate today. Gabriel wasn't in the car with us when it shut down in that busy zone. Those men helped to move the car to a safe place. We were only a few blocks from work, so I wasn't too late for class. My director handed me her keys, and now we can pick Lourdes up from school. The tow was covered by our insurance." The list later expanded to include the fact that our insurance company secured us a rental car on the same afternoon, allowing us to return the borrowed car. We went to a dealership (which normally I passionately hate - sales, in general. Not a fan) and the fellow that helped us was nice, very relaxed, very open and non-pushy. He even broke into song at one point. Instead of wanting to run away as fast as I could, I found myself wanting his business card! (This is a true rarity).

When our foray was over for the evening (we still have no car of our own, and have more insurance stuff to deal with tomorrow) we went home, finally. As we entered the house, a glorious aroma of garlic and spices wafted toward us. Our oldest daughter had prepared dinner: a trout chowder that she had found the recipe for online. It was really good.

I checked the mail. There was the Earthbound Oracle that I wasn't expecting until tomorrow, beautifully wrapped in tissue paper, with an art card, a sticker, and yes/no flipping coin on top:

Earthbound Oracle still boxed and wrapped

The point is: be ever grateful. Life throws some major twists and turns into our paths, and many of them are unexpected and unforeseen. We can't always change what happens to us, but we can always choose how we see the circumstances in which we find ourselves. In even the very difficult moments, there is light.

10 of Bolers: Presence of the Ancestors

This morning I woke up with my son snuggling against me. The first words out of his mouth, still in the haze of sleep, were, "You need to fix your hair, mister!" I smiled at the sweetness of his child's innocence and honesty, all imbued with bottomless love. (Then I complied and put my hair in a bun.)

As I rose I felt drawn to my bóveda (altar). I've been needing to connect with my ancestors for weeks now, and while I continue to tend to my sacred space - changing the water in my glasses, occasionally offering a hot cup of coffee - I still feel the deeper call to really sit with them and invite their constant presence more intentionally into my mind and heart. This morning, after giving the Boy his bowl of cereal, I set a pot on to brew, and when it was ready I brought a steaming mug to my bóveda. Instead of the fly-by offerings of late (work has been hectic, and I've been quite engaged with the Shadow Work October challenge in my "idle" moments), I stood there for a time. I thought of my grandmothers and grandfathers, all of whom have passed on. I felt the presence most noticeably of my paternal grandmother, Lillian, and I acknowledged her. I called off the surnames of all of the forebears that I know of, and then expanded out to the countries and areas of the world where I know that they came from: Italy, the British Isles, Scandinavia, Northern Africa and the Middle East, Germany, Austria and the Netherlands, Hungary...... I opened myself up to honoring all of those who contributed to my bloodlines, all of those without whom my physical being would not be. I asked them to be with me, that I may always be "open" to their support and guidance.

Buckland Romani Tarot

I returned to the kitchen and prepared my own coffee with sugar and cream, and then sat down at the table to pull my card of the day from my new Buckland Romani Tarot app (the first such app I've ever owned, and I'm enjoying it quite a bit!). I received: 10 of Bolers (Pentacles).

And I just smiled, because there they all were, my ancestors, there, present, waiting for me. The 10 of Pentacles is often called the "legacy" card because of the ways in which it represents our material and physical ties to our broader family networks. Thus it is also a primary "ancestor" card. I had never seen this particular version of the 10 of Pentacles before, and there is something special in the position of these people, quietly watching...there. It felt like a warm acknowledgement for me from them.

Amid the toils of everyday work life, woven through the fabric of family togetherness, in the liminal spaces of my thoughts and dreams, my ancestors are there with me.