Biakendai/Biikebrennen: Let It Burn

For the blog hop earlier this month I discussed the February 21st Biikebrennen celebration in North Frisia and South Jutland (Denmark) (click here to read more about it). This is a bonfire ritual specific to this region, and since my paternal great-grandparents were from Amrum (a North Frisian island) and South Jutland respectively, I wanted to celebrate it with my family for the first time this year.

Mind you it's not possible for us to have a bonfire at all, let alone one as vast as those on the islands, so we crafted our own version to honor the day...

Njörd statue

To preface it I want to mention a cool synchronicity that occurred in conjunction with yesterday's event. Over a month ago I had ordered a Njörd statue from a British Etsy shop (SJChilton). I knew it would likely take about two weeks to arrive to me after it shipped, but three weeks later I was starting to worry that it was lost. I messaged the shop owner yesterday morning to ask if she had any specific shipping information, and she kindly suggested I give it another couple of weeks to arrive. A few hours later I went out to the mailbox and there was one item inside: a small box from England. Interestingly, it had in fact been delivered to the wrong house, and the person had opened it up. Upon realizing that it was not intended for them, they put it back in the box, wrote an apologetic note, and hand-delivered it to our box. Needless to say, I was both happy and relieved. And the statue is pretty wonderful!

I have always connected Njörd with my dad's side of the family, primarily island and sea people from Northern Germany and coastal Denmark. So I found it particularly lovely that he showed up on February 21st, just in time for Biikebrennen!

My Njörd altar space

In Europe, islanders craft cloth-and-grass effigies called "Peter" which are thrown into the large fires, symbolic of the banishing of bad spirits and outdated energies. After dinner we all made paper "Peter" dolls out of a brown bag. The kids decorated their dolls however they liked, and then we wrote down any behaviors, thoughts, or feelings that we wanted to be rid of in our lives. Lourdes helped Gabriel with his. She said, "Gabe, what do you not want any more of?" He paused thoughtfully for a moment and said, "Your pickiness!" We all laughed. I told her that we could translate that to "sibling arguments."

Isabella decided to make her doll a girl - Petra - and added quite a bit of detail!

Lourdes wanted her Peter to wear a tuxedo:

Mine was a faceless vessel of intention:

When we were all ready, we went out to the back porch with a candle to burn our Peters.

It was a beautiful experience that everyone enjoyed, and we look forward to repeating it again next year!

Samhain Blog Hop: Honoring Giuseppe

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Welcome to the Samhain Blog Hop! Please use the links at the top or bottom of this post to navigate to the other wonderful blogs in this circle. This time around our wrangler, Arwen Lynch-Poe, has asked us to "commune, communicate, and commemorate." We might choose an ancestor or notable historical figure to discuss, to read for or about, or to celebrate, in one way or another.

I ultimately decided to honor my grandfather for this Samhain celebration. Giuseppe Giovanni Amerigo Malgeri was born on September 23rd, 1900 in Pigüé, Argentina, the son of immigrants from southern Italy. As a young adult he left South America for Italy to earn his teaching certificate, and eventually enlisted in the Italian military. In 1924 he traveled to the United States for the first time, where he met and married my grandmother, with whom he had three children. They moved back to Italy which is where my mother spent her early years, but my grandmother ended up returning to the U.S. with all of her children after some waywardness on the part of my grandfather. He died a couple of years after my birth so I never had the opportunity to know him (or my paternal grandfather either, as a matter of fact), which over the years I've come to see as a true and mostly irreparable loss.

An extendable table crafted by my grandfather

I never knew a lot about Giuseppe, and what I did hear could be held within a single, cupped hand: he was a woodworker; he was a teacher; he was a traveler; he was a soldier; he was multilingual. He loved his children in his own way. As I thought about what court card my grandfather might be, I settled on the King of Wands. Though he was a Libra, his essence feels more like fire to me, and as it turns out he has quite a bit of Sagittarius in his chart! I had pulled my husband's Mary-El deck out the previous day, and decided to sift through it for the King of Wands. When I found it I immediately noticed an interesting resemblance to my grandfather:

Mary-El King of Wands and Giuseppe Malgeri

Yesterday on my way home from work I was contemplating what to have for lunch and had settled on eggs all'inferno (eggs in Hell) because we had a really nice tomato sauce that needed to be used. And then I realized that this dish is part of the small legacy that I have from my grandfather. We have relatives in Argentina still, some of with whom I speak. We have family in Italy as well. But one of the most consistently present, always-accessible, fully tangible remnants of his is this simple egg-and-tomato-sauce dish that I learned from my mother. As she would throw eggs on top of bright red sauce in a pan, she would say, "Time for eggs all'inferno, one of my dad's favorite foods!" So for me, this is a direct line to the grandfather I never had a chance to know in this life. Now as I prepare it, I tell my own children, "This is your great-grandpa Malgeri's favorite dish!"

Giuseppe's eggs all'inferno

For those interested in the recipe, it goes a little something like this:

Giuseppe's Eggs all'Inferno

Put some tomato sauce (a cup or two, to your own liking) in a pan (non-stick is best) and crack as many eggs as you like on top. Put on a cover and let it poach until the eggs are cooked to your preference. You can add cheese if you like - throw some on to melt during the final minute or two, or grate some parmesan or romano on top after you serve it. It's great with buttered and toasted bread. As an alternative method, you can pan fry the eggs first, and when they are close to done you can pour the sauce over the top and let it heat through!

I decided to do a reading to ask some basic questions about my grandfather: How did he see himself? What was his passion? How would (or does) he see me, his granddaughter? The results provoked more questions than answers, but were interesting nonetheless:

Stone Tarot/A. Stone

1) How would you describe yourself? 8 of Pentacles reversed. I wonder if he ever felt contented with what he had accomplished in life. Was he a perfectionist that never seemed able to reach the top of the mountain? Was he perpetually dissatisfied? He certainly wasn't a "stable" man in the sense that he didn't stay in one general area - even country - for the majority of his life. He traveled, but more than that, he was an immigrant. He had many different interests, skills, and occupations. He had a family, and then he didn't. Did he ever feel that he'd been "enough"?

2) What was your passion? Wheel of Fortune. In some way this card seems to answer certain elements of the previous card. After I pulled this from the deck I was singing "Papa Was a Rolling Stone" for the next hour. What I like about this card is that it tells me that my grandfather was truly a wanderer by nature. He thrived on change and newness. My mother always said that we come from a nomadic family, in the sense that at least the recent generations have never stayed put. My grandfather moved around a lot, and so have his children and their children. It's nice to think that he pursued change at least in part because he found it exhilarating. And it's interesting to see those qualities in myself.

3) How do you see me? Page/Princess of Wands. I was just writing the other day about "signficators" in Tarot and I mentioned that the cards that most often come up for me are the King and Queen of Cups, and the Page of Wands. In fact, the Page of Wands is specifically the card that tends to represent the work I do in divination: an emissary and messenger, a go-between and interpreter. An underlying question here was one that Arwen had mentioned in her original Blog Hop task for us: How might your relative feel about your card reading? In that light, I take this as a positive confirmation that he approves of what I'm doing. And I like the idea that he sees me as a "princess" (that's very grandfatherly, I think!).

Last week my husband and I were dealing with a pretty difficult and challenging matter regarding our car that had suddenly broken down and left us in quite a conundrum (I discuss it in more detail here). As we were strolling through the dealership parking lot in search of a new vehicle, I had a "moment" where I was very aware of both of my grandfathers. I imagined what it would be like to have their help and support in that situation. I thought about how I never had known them, had missed out on the opportunity to experience the grandfather-granddaughter bond. But I welcomed their energy in, and asked for their advocacy.

It's funny that I never thought about it at the time, but as I wrote this post I naturally thought about that invitation in the parking lot, and then it suddenly dawned on me. We ended up purchasing (via a lot of mysterious and fortuitous circumstances) a car that I'd never imagined I'd ever own (and still can't believe it, really): a Fiat - the most popular Italian car brand.

So I send a big "thank you" to my grandfather-in-spirit, Giuseppe Giovanni Amerigo Malgeri. May you always be with me, and may I always be open to your love and guidance.

Happy Samhain, everyone!

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Herbs, Tea, and Books, Oh My!

This has been A Week.

Two of the three kids have been sick with something similar to the flu, and I've been making batch after batch of special tea to help ease their discomfort and strengthen their bodies' ability to fight off this nasty virus. I will say that there are few things more satisfying than being able to help improve your children's health. Sickness is really unpleasant, but especially for the little ones; there are few medicines they can take, and principal effort tends to revolve around making them as comfortable as possible while they get over the worst of it. There is a particular infusion I make when they're feeling under the weather, and it's almost magical to see how (relatively) quickly they start to feel better after spending a day sipping on steaming mugs of goodness. The recipe changes slightly depending on what symptoms they're struggling with most, but the base is always a combination of lemon balm, spearmint or peppermint, and echinacea root. I often add elderflower and elder berries, sometimes mullein and St. John's Wort. This is a wonderful, and powerful, combination of herbs that effectively fight viruses, ease coughs, and soothe nasal congestion.

Healing tea, red with elderberries.
O. Destrades

So after making several batches over the past week I was running short on supplies, and this morning the kids and I made a trip to Ann Moura's shop, Luna Sol Esoterica, in Sanford, in order to restock. We strode in, the only customers shortly after opening. I brought my list to the front of the store and announced my mission. Ann said, "Just read off what you need, and I'll start gathering!" She had everything I'd remembered to scrawl across my folded paper, and I picked up a few extras like beeswax, camphor and flannel bags. The first thing I did upon returning home was - yes, indeed - prepare a brand new batch of tea.

The second thing I did was ponder the ridiculous state of my divination/supply bookcase. It's in need of some major help. I simply don't have enough space for everything, and every time I restock, or acquire something new, I again remember just how no-space I have, and how desperately I need to find another bookcase, or a hutch, or cupboard that will allow me to make all my goods a bit more comfortable. Just looking at my cards and roots and figurines makes me feel slightly claustrophobic! So this will have to be an upcoming project to put on my ever-growing to-do list.

Having spent some time pondering this space issue, a large box arrived from my mother right on cue in the evening, just as I was settling the kids in for dinner. She sent quite a few things for each of the children, and threw in some surprises for me, too! She purchased a selection of Tarot and shamanism books, and a couple of sacks of herbs - one of raspberry leaf, and another of a blend of chamomile and red clover. Really, she is a special one! I am grateful for everything she sent, and am particularly excited to peruse "Jung and Tarot" by Sallie Nichols. Everything else will have to take a number and get in line for the bookshelf, but this one is going on my night table!

It's been A Week, but there's been a lot of good, as well. Herbs and tea, a stack of wonderful books from my most awesome and supportive mom, and the company of my funny and endearing kids. Life is good.

Mother's Day Gifts

I'm a lucky woman.

A few days ago my mother sent me a text saying that she was sending a couple of packages for both Mother's Day (for me), and for my younger daughter's birthday. Then she quickly sent another text saying, "Do you want to know what I got you??" She was never very good at surprises - she gets so excited she can't contain herself! I didn't want her to burst from nervous tension so I replied, "Sure, if you want to tell me!" So she told me, and a couple of days later it arrived in the mail: Osho Zen Tarot. I still haven't asked her what prompted her to choose this deck for me, but I was touched. And in fact this is a deck I've admired from a distance, particularly every time I see Ellen from Grey Lady's Hearth feature it in one of her posts. So it was pretty cool.

Then this morning, the day of Mother's Day, my husband and kids surprised me with yet another card treat: Wonder of the Mother inspirational cards. This is a deck I'd never heard of before; it's not Tarot, and not really an oracle either per se, though I suppose you could use them to understand unfolding energies. I think they will be wonderful for meditation and inner awareness. There are 54 cards, each featuring a distinct image of one of the many faces of motherhood along with a key word - patience, surrender, strength, chaos, imagination, to name a very few. On the backside of each card there is a bit of writing that tells a story to give depth to the keyword. On some cards it's a poem, on others a little narrative or explanation. I adore the diversity in the images on these cards; ladies from all walks of life, all ages, cultures, colors, are featured. I also love the inclusiveness of having a card in this deck that features single fathers. So, score for Jorge and the little ones!

Wonder of the Mother card box and a lovely greeting card

So I took both decks for a test drive.

I had just seen a nice Mother's Day spread that Veronica Chamberlain had posted on a social media forum, and I thought I'd try it out with the Osho Zen Tarot. The spread itself calls the reader to meditate on the Empress card, and then shuffle and pull three cards: 1) The legacy given to you by the women of your family, 2) What new work you should begin, and 3) What advice your female ancestors have to help you on your way with this new work. You can try this spread out as is, but I riffed a bit: I left the Empress out, and changed the second question to "What am I experiencing at present."

I pulled:

Legacy: Adventure
Current experience: Clinging to the Past
Advice: New Vision

Spread with Osho Zen Tarot

I am leaving out the associations from traditional Tarot, and simply going with the energy presented by this deck, in its own context. So the legacy from my female ancestors is Adventure, and features what appears to be a young child toddling forth into a new world, full of light, color, and possibility. It's both beautiful and interesting because I do sense that many of the women in my family, at least in the most recent generations, are or have been adventurous. My mother has often called our family "nomadic" in that we've just never been the kind of family that settles in one place for long periods of time. My ancestors traveled, learned to speak new languages, learned to survive (and eventually thrive) in new landscapes and cultures. My ancestors raised families in difficult circumstances, and kept blooming. I like that the spirit and legacy of my female relatives has been summed up by Adventure.

As for what I'm working with in my present circumstance - Clinging to the Past - this reminds me a bit of the 3 of Swords I pulled the other day, the subtle sadness that floats under the surface of late. What it highlight for me is that I'm at the cusp of a personal paradigm shift, and that comes with some discomfort and grief, by virtue of the nature of change. I think that on some level deep change is scary, so this card is recognizing that fact: even positive change can be difficult to experience.

And their advice to me is New Vision. This beautiful figure appears vibrant and fluid, the back arched almost as if in communion with the universe. It's perfect really, that my adventurous ancestors would see me struggling with a transition, and urge me to embrace a new perspective, a new understanding, a new way of seeing. There's an element of trust here, as well - trust in my connection with all that is, that is always present, and wants what's best for me (which sometimes necessitates a shove out of the nest).

A wonderful, touching, meaningful first reading with this deck - thanks, Mom!

This morning I decided to do a "nurturing" spread with my new Wonder of the Mother deck. I made up a simple three card spread in the moment:

Card 1, How I nurture myself: Mirror
Card 2, How I nurture my children: Happy Happy Joy Joy
Card 3, How I nurture my spirituality: The Red Dress

Spread with Wonder of the Mother cards

The first two made sense immediately. Figuratively, I'm always looking in the mirror, asking myself questions: Am I being honest with myself? Am I embracing the right actions? What is the root of my emotion? What do I really want? And I try to be the truest form of myself that I can be, at all times. (It's a work in progress!!). I feel that being open with myself is the best way for me to be kind and loving to myself.

In terms of how I nurture my kids, "Happy Happy Joy Joy!" definitely sums up how I feel about them, and what I try to give to them. I adore my kids, they're the light and sustenance of my soul in so many ways. They're my heart, my root, and my deepest passion. I love making them happy, watching their faces light up in wonder and excitement, I love simply laughing with them. I hope that when they're all grown, they have fond memories of our crazy dancing sessions in the kitchen, listening to Mika, Joan Jett, Los Van Van, and Lykke Li.

The Red Dress caught me off guard momentarily, but after a few moments it all made complete sense. This is a card that represents the need for down time. This would be the moment when you take the baby to a sitter so you can enjoy a night out on the town with your husband or partner. It's about loving your kids enough to make time for yourself, which is a very important concept. And really it's vital for spirituality as well. Yes, it's something that is imbued in all I (and all people) do, a part of simply existing. But I need to create moments of uninterrupted time to focus on spiritual practice as well, whether that means fifteen minutes to meditate, ten minutes connecting to the vastness of the sea while standing at the shore, or an hour to do some readings. Alone time is my spiritual red dress.

So Mother's Day was a good day. My new decks are wonderful, and I'm still absorbing the layers of meaning from these two readings. It's very special that both sets of cards were gifts from my dearest family members, and I am looking forward to working more with each of them for a long time to come.

Family Lines: Divination and Spirit

My mother is a Tarot reader. She is very intuitive and clairvoyant, and while she doesn't read professionally, she's always read for family and friends. Listening to her give readings with the Mythic Tarot when I was a kid is a lovely memory for me (I blogged a bit about that here). I had a good laugh the other day upon reading one of her Facebook status updates that went something like this: "I was really worried about my lost cell phone so while I was at the salon getting my hair done I did a Tarot reading. The cards told me to stop worrying about it because it would turn up. So I did, and it did!" The image of her sitting in a hair dresser's booth doing a reading about her lost phone was priceless. (And I'm really curious as to what her hair dresser thought!!).

But as I was thinking (and laughing) about this incident, the value and beauty of having this connection with my mother was not lost on me. My mother's family is predominantly from Calabria, Italy, and she grew up in southern Italy, splitting her time between Naples and Palermo. I remember that she used to describe southern Italian Catholicism as "pagan Catholicism," which always had an excitingly subversive feel to it.  She rejected the sense of male dominance in the Catholic church, but always held a deep affinity for Mary, and she has an entire wall of her kitchen dedicated to images of the Virgin and Child. Really, this "pagan Catholicism" was just syncretism, where an older religion or spirituality has been woven into the dominant belief and practice of the region. Common people never stopped believing in things like the evil eye, or seeking remedies for it. During one of my mother's visits home she brought me back a cornicello - a small red horn used to ward off the malocchio, which is a common talisman.

Cornicello

It was also my mother who introduced me to Tarot and oracles as a kid. It wasn't a formal introduction, it was just "there." She would read for me on occasion, or for friends, or sometimes other family members. Her cards always felt like a great mystery to me, and in my younger days I stuck to learning her animal oracle deck, which I adored. Tarot study, for me, would come later.

One of my most powerful memories with my mother (in terms of spirituality) was the night she took me to a ceremony when I was maybe 13 or 14. It was held at a social justice and environmentalism center outside of the city where we lived, deep in the heart of a forest. I honestly can't say I know what the ceremony was about or what the purpose was. What I do remember was being amazed at the powerful energy that united all of the people in the circle. At one point we were all chanting, and we started out very loudly, and at some point we all naturally started chanting more and more softly, until at the exact same moment we all stopped. It was about at that moment that I snapped "awake" and realized that I had been in some sort of altered consciousness with everyone else. I was in awe at how everyone seemed to be so connected, and it was all non-verbal. Later we all sat and ate together in potluck style, and I remember telling someone about a strange and striking daytime vision I'd had, and he was the first person not to look at me like I was a little crazy.*

I grew up with the powerful, embracing spiritual openness of my mother (who also was involved in aspects of feminism and the Goddess movement), and also very entwined with indigenous American culture and spiritual practice (and the rusty, dusty, bittersweet reality of reservation life) which all impacted my development. I met my husband when I was 24 years old, and one of our instant connections was some sort of spiritual resonance. I remember the first native dance I brought him to, and how moved he was by the drumming. He said it felt that although he was sitting still, something inside of him was dancing. I guess that sealed it!

My husband was raised in Cuba and Santería was the spiritual practice he knew. His grandmother was a seer of sorts, a card reader who spoke frequently with "her spirits." When Jorge and I moved in together our respective alters sat side by side, a mix of Elegua's stone and shell face, metal tools of the Warriors, offerings, stones, abalone, sage and sweetgrass.

Dancer of Yemaya

Through my husband I came to know aspects of the orishas, and have introduced them to our own children. Today Santería is a home for me, and I have great love and respect for the orishas, who feel like my family, and the practices associated with this religion and spirituality. Ten years after we first moved in together Lukumí forms a central part of our household, and our Warriors sit side by side behind our front door, while my stones and sweetgrass decorate my boveda, in another part of the house. My husband is leaving in a few days for one of his periodic visits to see his mother, and he's made a special mission for himself - to find and bring back his grandmother's cards for me. I was touched and honored.

Two or three different branches, or lineages, of religion, spirituality and practice have converged in my household, and as the years pass, the union, and the nourishment it offers, becomes so much deeper. I'm happy to have this legacy to pass on to our children.


*The vision occurred when I was walking home from middle school with two friends. We came to a point in the walk where one friend would start heading off in another direction, so they stopped to chat for a minute. During their talk, I sat down on the grass by the curb to wait. I felt something strange in my pant leg, so I reached up and pulled out a hand full of earth worms, all cut up and writhing around. I was horrified and threw the handful down in the dead grass and jumped up and shouted to my friends what had happened. I thought they'd be horrified too, but the big shock came when they looked at me like I was insane - I wasn't expecting that. I looked down and there were no worms anywhere to be found. Then I realized it hadn't happened at all, at least in real life. I walked home in a daze, and wondered for a long time what the hell that was all about! Now I understand that earthworms are about the power of regeneration and growth and healing, which was an apt message for me at that time because my parents were going through a divorce. There may be more to it, but at any rate, it would have been wonderful to have understood that at the time.