Embracing Light: Summer Solstice

Happy Summer Solstice to everyone, everywhere! Today is the longest day of the year, and marks both the sun's longest ride through the sky, and the point at which our light begins to lessen each day until we reach Yule. Today is an excellent day to simply be aware of the sunlight. If it's cloudy where you are, how does the brightness of the sky lighten or darken depending on the thickness of the clouds? If it is a sunny day, how do the rays of sunlight enhance or illuminate the greenness of plant leaves, or the color of flowers in bloom?

This morning I pulled a card from my Viking Cards deck asking:

"How can I bring more light into my life?"

I pulled: The Hearth - Care.

Viking Cards/G. Bergmann

This card represents both caring for other people in your life, and self-care. Interestingly, I've pulled the Empress several times over the past couple of weeks, and I always hear her saying to me, "Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Eat well. Nurture yourself." And I have been trying to follow her advice (and more or less succeeding!).

I've been alone for a couple of weeks. My kids are on a long visit with their grandparents, and my husband is working in Sweden for a while. I had a similar experience last summer, and it was the first time I'd ever been completely alone in so many years that I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know how to organize my time, I didn't eat very much, and when I did eat it was quite often frozen veggie burgers and carrot sticks (I didn't see the point in cooking when I didn't have a family to cook for!). It took a while to gain some semblance of balance in my life, and then everyone was back, and things fell back into the normal family rhythms.

Chinese Tarot/US Games Systems

This time has been a bit different. I cook for myself - complete, hot meals, with lots of flavor and lots of earthy goodness (Swiss chard has been a mainstay of late). After the first few aimless days of watching Netflix non-stop I finally turned off the television in disgust and started reading, gardening, writing, thinking, and even baking (though it's hard to finish an entire pan of brownies on one's own!). So in many ways I have worked out the kinks of being alone, and taking care of myself just as much as I would care for one of my children. This is good!

But there is something deeper to the Hearth that has come slowly unfurling from the deep dark and into the light: it's not just about how much I miss loving and caring for my family, or how successful I've been at being good to myself - it's about taking the time to honor what I want and need.

What I want and need. These are things that in the daily grind tend to get lost or muddled. I spend so much time in busy-ness, yes, cooking and planning meals, worrying about the grass being too long, wondering about what the electric bill will look like after this massive heat wave, taking my children to the park, figuring out the next grocery list, teaching, doing readings, fitting in time for walks with my husband, and on and on and on. Most of these things are positive (worrying about bills and lawn, maybe not so much!) but what happens is that the constant movement shifts my focus away from "me" and on to the vast variety of other things in my life. The result is that I don't have a chance to honor my own needs. And I need to, because it is essential for not only my own well-being, but the well-being of my crew.

I've come to some important realizations during this time that I've been alone. I have begun to recognize with tremendous force the things that I want to change, and what I want, what I really want for myself and ultimately for my family. For a long time I've known what I don't like (about my job, or my house, or my physical environment) but I haven't really been able to identify what it is that I do want. When I start to feel frustrated with my workplace, I immediately counter it with: "But... I have a lot of flexibility, and a good income, and a lot of creative license, and access to amazing technology.....I wouldn't get this anywhere else, I need to just focus on that." Well, that's not bad, to focus on the upside of things. But after a while, it starts to shift from being optimistic to simply not honoring the messages that my heart and soul are trying to get me to pay attention to.

Swedish forest/J. Destrades

What do I really want?

This morning my husband sent me a dozen photos of a farmhouse where he's spent the last few days. Deep green forests, the sun rising over a lake, children playing freely outside, a dirt path forking off in different directions. As I reviewed the photos a deep, visceral desire surged forth from my belly, and all I wanted in that moment was to shed this skin and live in that place. To stop living according to what limitations I perceive, and to reach out and pull myself into a new, fresh landscape of life. To release every aspect of my current environment that is not nourishing me, that I'm not satisfied with, and to free myself to be who and what I am; to give that gift to my children. To experience that with my husband. For months I have been pulling the 8 of Cups, Judgment and Death, and I see these cards as a reflection of what was already developing under the surface of my psyche before I could even place a finger on it; that helped me to slowly become more aware of the changes brewing within, and the rebirth that is taking place.

Field of flowers in Sweden/J. Destrades

I asked the cards to highlight the way in which I can bring more light into my life, and they responded loudly, and very clearly. Take care of yourself. Take care of those you love by being true to your desires and your needs.

My Solstice task for today is to sit down with a notepad and a pen and make a list of everything I know that I don't want any longer, and to make a list of everything that I know that I do want.

After all, the first step to manifestation is to have a clear, concrete, focused intention!

May the light of the sun illuminate your soul on this longest day of the year!

The Illusion of Permanence

I was walking near the shores of Secret Lake yesterday morning when I noticed a rather large ant mound rising up out of the grass and beginning to spill out onto the sidewalk. It was so complete, so busy, that I had to stop for a moment to appreciate the work. Between a smattering of tiny holes, red ants scurried with clear purpose, some carrying what appeared to be tiny larva. It was an active community of living beings that had spent countless hours, perhaps days, on the creation of their sandy home.

And in that moment I realized how terribly precarious it all was. One child mesmerized by the movement could, with a single excited swipe, destroy it completely. Or perhaps someone riding a bike, or a heavy rain storm, or even a park maintenance person out mowing the lawn. Any of these things could, in an instant, erase this ant town from the surface of the earth (temporarily though it be). And in fact it most certainly would happen.

But the cool thing about ants is that when the fruits of their endless labor are washed away, they will simply rebuild. Which got me to thinking about fluctuation and the impermanence of life. There are many cards in a Tarot deck that can point to instability and change. Some of the obvious cards include Death and the Tower. Some others include the Wheel, the 4 of Wands reversed (I call this the 'transition' card), and even the 8 of Cups.

Last week I pulled a card from my Viking Cards deck in a moment when I was feeling a bit oppressed by the movement in my life. I believe my actual question was: "What is happening to me?"  The card I drew was Sleipnir: Changes.

Viking Cards
U.S. Games Systems, 1997

I think I actually laughed out loud when I saw it, and said, "Yep!!!" What I found most helpful about this card was the correlation to Odin's mystical, 8-legged horse, Sleipnir, who is often described in the Sagas as being the wind that Odin rides to other dimensions. I love that concept. The book, written by Gudrun Bergmann, states:

"The Changes may be like the strong summer winds that blow across Iceland's interior and stir up a lot of dust, so that even the Sun is overshadowed and one cannot see clearly. But such winds also subside. Sleipnir tells you not to fight the changes, but to jump on his back and ride the winds of Change (pg. 88)."

There is something particularly revitalizing about the idea of jumping onto Sleipnir's back and riding forth into the great unknown; change abounds, but you're never without excellent company. Like the ants' intricate hills, like Tibetan Sand Mandalas, or Navajo sand paintings, changes are necessary, inevitable, and learning to embrace the movement is both empowering and healing.

Taroscopes for December 2014

The glory and chaos of December is upon us once again! If you are one of those people that rejects the entire season for how commercial it's become, just remember that it only has to be as commercial as you make it. Turn off the T.V., light some candles, read ancient tales in front of the fireplace, and decorate your home with handmade embellishments (remember the old cranberry-and-popcorn garlands??). The soul of this time of year is ever-present, sometimes you just have to dig a little extra to find it!

For this month I've decided to use my Viking Cards (by Gudrün Bergmann and Ölafur Gudlaugsson), so technically these are oraclescopes, not Taroscopes, but I thought the energy of this deck would be a nice complement to the season. So here we go!

Viking Cards
U.S. Games Systems

Capricorn - Sagas: December is a great month for honoring the knowledge you've cultivated over the years. Don't underestimate your experience, capabilities, and know-how. Next time you grab for a book, or look to an expert in search of the "right way," remember that you yourself are a deep well of wisdom.

Aquarius - Bull: Satisfaction is a state of mind. Though you may not have every last thing you might wish for, you're able to understand that you're taken care of in the most important ways. This month, honor all the abundance that is present in your life.

Pisces - Hearth: Be sure to balance your care-taking tendencies this month. December is a busy time, and in the busy-ness it's important to make time to care for yourself as well as for others. Don't leave yourself out of the equation!

Aries - Sword: It's time to let go of a person, place, mindset, or habit that has been keeping you tightly bound, and you may be feeling rather reticent about dealing with things. Baby steps are a great way to start. As you let go of the elements in your life that have felt restrictive, the relief you feel will help keep you headed down that positive path.

Taurus - Huginn & Muninn: Everything in your life serves as a message of one sort or another: when your body is satisfied, you feel full, and you know to stop eating. When relationships struggle, you know that "something" isn't working, and can take time to address it. Your life is sending you many important messages at this time aimed at helping you to raise your quality of life. This month, make a point to listen!

Gemini - Council: If you find yourself on the threshold of big-decision-making, be sure to talk things out with friends, allies, and experts, so that you're as informed as you can be. Then, make your choice and don't beat yourself up about it. At best you'll see positive results, and at worst, you can revisit and revise at a later date. Trust!

Cancer - Giant: As you reclaim and heal aspects of your Self that were damaged as a child, you'll find a sense of balance that refreshes you within, and provides the fortitude and security necessary to move forward on your path. The Giant will protect you as you do this critical work.

Leo - Helmet: You are where you are in life largely due to the decisions you've made. If you're not happy with any aspect of your current situation, you have the power to do things differently in the future. Cultivate patience and wisdom, and be kind to yourself.

Virgo - Sleipnir: You may experience some anxieties related to the shifts and changes unfolding in your life. Try to release your hold on "what should be," and open yourself to "what is." You will be amazed at how relieving it feels to let go of expectations.

Libra - Eagle: Use December for reflection and assessment. Sometimes when you're surrounded by the many distractions of everyday life, it's easy to lose track of the long view of things. Where are you headed? Does it match up with your desires and plans? How are your decisions impacting your path forward?

Scorpio - Armor: In order to love others you must love and honor yourself first. Are you protecting yourself from deeper emotional connection due to anxieties or concerns? Is your fear of being vulnerable preventing you from engaging with others? This December consider how you can value yourself, and share yourself with other people.

Sagittarius - Mjölnir: You have the opportunity to experience positive changes in perspective this month. If you keep a journal, this would be a great time to make ample use of it - don't let your thoughts, ideas, or musings escape you this month! The first step in manifestation is awareness.

Finally, the summary card for December is: the Libelous Pole.

This month it's important to consider how to nurture communication with others. Be as open, honest, kind, and diplomatic as you can, and if others don't reciprocate, let it be - that's on them, not you. Be the best person you can, and spread your joy to the world!

Happy December, everyone! May peace and love prevail.

Removing the Mask

Not long ago I acquired the Viking Cards, an oracle deck by Gudrun Bergmann and Olafur Gudlaugsson that offers guidance through the teachings of the Viking myths, deities, and Sagas. I've done many readings with this oracle over the past few weeks and always find it startlingly clear, appropriate to whatever topic I'm reading on, and wonderfully insightful.

Every morning I pull my daily three Lenormand cards, but sometimes I like to add to it, usually by pulling a Tarot or oracle card. Today I felt like hearing what the Viking Cards had to say. I shuffled, holding in my mind the open question of: "What guidance is most beneficial to me at this time?"

I pulled card 29-The Mask: Self Expression.

Viking Cards - Bergmann/Gudlaugsson
U.S. Games Systems

This resonates with me in a couple of ways:

1) I don't need to be stoic in the face of the challenges I'm experiencing. I don't mean that I will break down and fail to weather the difficult changes, I just mean that I don't have to pretend that the responsibilities I'm carting around right now aren't exhausting and stressful. And by simply expressing that, I'm alleviating some of the psychological burden even if the material weight hasn't shifted. That does make it easier to bear.

2) Presenting my thoughts and ideas to the wide world, primarily via this blog, is wonderful in many ways, but not without its risk. I've never liked conflict - I'm definitely one of those peace-making, harmony-loving types. I want everyone to just get along. It's relatively easy to post a daily draw, to discuss possible meanings of whatever Tarot card I happen to pull, or to do a deck review, but it's quite another thing to be forthright about my opinions and thoughts about potentially divisive topics (like fortune-telling!); it's a major challenge for me. But it's also a necessary step, I think, toward sharing myself and being okay with the fact that not everyone will agree or even like my perspective. It's important to me not to allow the fear of "not being liked," or being misunderstood, keep me from being true to myself, and to the wider world.

This card encourages me to take my Mask off, to call on my inner strength to give me the fortitude to let myself be seen.