Making Space

This morning I pulled the 2 of Swords from the Fountain Tarot (a new acquisition that I am enjoying quite a bit - perhaps I'll do a review soon!). When I see this card I usually think of "impossible decisions." This is a card that, when it features a keyword, is often connected to the concept of peace, or "inner peace." In general I find that whatever peace this card affords, it is only temporary, and it tends to stem from avoidance rather than true ease.

However at times this card is less about avoidance, and more about the benefit of intentionally blocking out external "noise" in order to make space to breathe.

I once pulled this card when I was on Christmas vacation in a cabin in the far north. It was perfect because vacations can serve as a momentary escape from the tumult of everyday life and responsibilities (we can see the 4 of Swords here as well). In a similar way, I have been struggling to make space for things that are important to me: spending time tending to my altar, letting myself absorb self-readings, explore them, write about them, posting blog entries. In a way, I have been so busy lately that it's even been a challenge to spend quality time with my kids.

The 2 of Swords is often symbolic of an incompatibility between the heart and mind. In this case, my heart yearns for space to do these things, but my mind is filled with the many tasks and responsibilities that I am faced with in my new position at work. I don't like how that feels, however I won't be gifted that space simply by waiting to see what happens.... I have to claim it. And that means that I can't ignore these needs I have for quiet, for time, for writing and reading, for my egun (ancestors) and my family. I have to find a balance between what I must do, and create order within these priorities. Doing that requires attention.

Thus I have pushed off everything I "must do" this morning - just for a moment - to allow myself space to write this post, and to think these thoughts. That is nourishment all on its own!

2 of Swords: Eye of the Hurricane

The 2 of Swords is a great card.  It speaks eloquently of an experience we've all had at one time or another in our lives; a very specific moment, a frame of mind whose presence in the deck demonstrates so well just how aptly the Tarot can highlight our at-times subtle, yet poignant, dilemmas. So what does it mean? Denial? Avoidance? Inner peace? Inability to make a decision? Yeah, sure, it can be all of those things, and yet its cooked-down essence is far more interesting than any of those things.

First I want to briefly discuss that essence, and then I want to explore a few different manifestations of it across a selection of decks....

The 2 of Swords is actually rather painful, or at best uncomfortable. I like the "inner peace" idea, but the peace here not a harmonic one; it is more of a tentative pause, or momentary withdrawal from a struggle, kind of like the eye of a hurricane. But the hurricane is not a tempest ripping trees out by the roots around you; rather it occurs within you. If anything, the "peace" is what happens around you while your insides are threatening to knock you to your knees. Someone could look at you and see a perfectly calm, relaxed individual, never sensing the turmoil happening within.

The 2 of Swords is about facing a decision, yes. A decision between two crucial options where one is neither considerably better, nor considerably worse, than the other.....and yet, in the end, you must choose one, or else risk one of them being chosen for you (which isn't really the way you want to go down, now is it!).

In effect this is a formal "draw" of the intellect. In some cases there may be some amount of denial, but oftentimes there is perfect clarity about what is to be done (this, or that), but the seeming impossibility of the choice to be made leads the person in question to put it off for as long as possible.

This is the essence of the 2 of Swords.

Silver Witchcraft Tarot

I love this version from the Silver Witchcraft Tarot. This woman sits in the snow as if frozen in time, an athame in each hand. Roses or daisies? She is blindfolded and can't see the outcome of the decision that she will have to make. She weighs the blades in either hand, trying to sense which might be best, but their heft is the same. Butterflies surround each blade, suggesting that perhaps either choice will be okay when all is said and done. And in the end, when she finally makes her choice, she will only see roses, or daisies. She won't see what might have been, only what is. Fortunately, both flowers are beautiful, both smell sweet - they are different from each other, but both offer something positive.

Anna K Tarot

The depiction in the Anna K Tarot is quite apt for the energy of this card. A man stands inside the warmth of a building, perhaps his home. He looks away from the open and unguarded doorway, where two swords stand blocking the raging sea beyond. The moon shines above, his feelings are in uproar. The two swords almost seem to protect him, but they can't really do the job; the sand is already pushing inside. This man is taking a final moment of tranquility to gather his thoughts, but very soon he'll have to face his decision, pulling the swords out of the ground, and confronting the moon beyond.

Deviant Moon Tarot

The Deviant Moon 2 of Swords shows the inner battle being fought between two equally viable, and perhaps equally challenging, possibilities. There is a single pair of legs, with two torsos facing each other - a man battling himself. What I like about this version is that it highlights the inner conflict inherent in being at a crossroads where one path must be selected, and though the potential consequences may be great, they are essentially unknowable. There is no clear, best way.

When this card appears in a reading you might ask yourself:

What decision am I struggling to make?
What might help me achieve clarity regarding my current situation? 
What are the positives in each option?
What, if any, are my deal-breakers?
What can I live with, even if it isn't ideal?
What am I most afraid of?
How realistic are my fears?  

Don't forget that sometimes it's best to let things simmer for a while. If you aren't pressed to sign a contract, put it on the back burner for some time and try to see the forest for the trees: drink good tea, watch some bad T.V., and come back to the issue when the pressure has eased. You never know what helpful insights will pop up when you set your intellect to "idle" for a little while.

Creeping Out of My Cave

Since slightly before Yule/Christmas I've been on something like a sabbatical, really embracing the Hermit energy. I have a lot brewing that I will post about as time moves on, but I will give a recap of the past few weeks of my life:

Haindl Tarot - Strength

-I received the Haindl Tarot deck as a birthday gift. This is a deck I've been wanting for a long time, so I was very pleased to have it, and I've been working a lot with it in these past few weeks. I love the connection to the runes, as this is another system I work with. (It also features I-Ching, though I'm not so familiar with that!) I also like the fact that this deck follows the Thoth system. The Court cards are lovely, and pull from various cultures from around the world. I think Strength is quite possibly my favorite Major in the deck, depicting a woman intertwined with a snake on the edge of a river.

Winter sun in northern Michigan (O. Destrades)

-I spent a lot of time wandering the northern woods of Michigan, in and around the family cottage there. Sledding was serious fun, as was simply watching the lake effect snow fall over the hills as I sipped on hot coffee. While there I drew a card from Haindl deck on the question, "How would you describe the importance of being at this house to the people that come here?" I pulled the 2 of Swords - Peace. The image shows snow covered pine trees. I couldn't imagine a more apt card! The card itself mirrored my surroundings, and peace is precisely why we go there. With the steam from my hot beverage swirling around my nose, and large flakes catching in my eyelashes, I was allowed to feel removed from the steady pulse of my "regular life." No internet, no mail, no work, nowhere I needed to be. For a snapshot in time I was totally enveloped in peace.

Haindl Tarot

-My mother gifted me a beautiful, quartz pendulum handmade by the daughter of her Reiki instructor. It's been probably over 20 years since I've worked with a pendulum. It's gorgeous, and exploring this particular method of divination again after so long has been both intriguing and satisfying.

Game of Hope Lenormand - Star Edition

-On a very special Yule I found myself in Miami with my husband, kids, padrino and ilé. In the late evening I ended up doing Lenormand readings for several women, a totally impromptu session. I didn't know most of them, and the readings were very interesting. One woman told me, "You're the best reader I've ever been to, and that's saying something because I've been to a LOT. To be that good you have to really have a gift." I'm not saying that here to brag - I was really blown away and humbled and honored by what she said to me, and it was a wonderful, affirming gift to receive that left me warmed over.

-I met with several friends over the Christmas/New Year's weeks that I have not seen or spent much time with in years. It was wonderful. And our conversations helped me to gain some very helpful perspective on various elements in my life (namely my teaching work and my kids' education) that has been effective in allowing me to move into 2015 with increased clarity and purpose.

I'm grateful for having had the time for profound reflection over the past few weeks, and the opportunity I've had to recalibrate my inner compass. I'll say more, eventually. But now it's time for chocolate panettone and some ginger tea.....!